WATCH: All About the Mother of the Bride (& Groom)

If you're a mom and worried that you don't know how to get involved in your daughter's (or son's) wedding tune into this week's episode of From "I Will" to "I Do" where we're going to talk about tasks that are perfect for mom, how to look fabulous, and above all avoid wedding-planning stress.

This week we're talking to Anja Winikka of the knot, Mark Ingram of New York City's Mark Ingram Atelier and Xochitl Gonzalex, a wedding and event designer and planner with Aab Creates.

Where’s the Best Place to Find Wedding Vendors?

Recommendations from relatives and friends who have either recently gotten hitched or planned a party are the best resources because you can get an honest opinion from a recent customer. But if you don’t know anyone who recently got married you may want to ask your parents and their friends who have been to weddings and large events in the past year because they may be able to lead you to newlyweds you can talk to or email with.

If you’re not going to hire a wedding planner, who is also a great resource, I would recommend looking through a local wedding magazine -- both editorial credits and advertisements -- for leads. Both The Knot and BRIDES have local issues for areas across the country but in the past few years a number of independent local magazines have hit newsstands -- Washingtonian Bride and Groom, Charleston Weddings, New York Weddings magazine, D Weddings and Portland Bride & Groom are some of my favorites

There are also a number of blogs and websites dedicated to specific regions (Beantown Bride and Landlocked Bride come to mind) that feature real weddings, with credits, as well as vendor directories, which you should be aware are usually paid to-be listed directories but the editors have probably vetted them.

A Bit of Music Advice

Everyone has their favorite artist or type of music, but there are some songs you can dance to and some that you can't.

When choosing music for your reception, select a band that can play everything from the standards to Motown to disco to today's Top 40 hits. And if you're hiring a DJ find out how far their music library goes back so you can get a good mix of the past six decades.

Remember that just because you love a local Van Halen cover band (and they come in under budget) doesn't mean your guests will love four hours of them.

A Wedding Date That Works for Everyone

When choosing a wedding date, think about the time of year you want to get married. Have you always dreamed of a winter wedding? Do you want to get married outside? Have you always loved the fall? Or do you want to get married over the holiday season?

In addition to the season, you also want to consider the people who are most important to you. Talk to these guests -- parents, grandparents, siblings, and best friends -- to make sure they are free on the date before putting down a deposit. You don't want to book a hall and find out that dad has a convention out of town that he must attend.

And keep an open mind when meeting with venues and vendors. If you want to hire a specific vendor, check with him or her first to make sure he or she is available on your date, then book the ceremony and reception space.

Wedding Don'ts Inspired by the Royal Wedding

The royal wedding was full of inspiration -- check out my story on Wedding Wire to find 10 creative wedding details -- but there were also some things that happened that you may not want to replicate at your own big day.  Here are 10 (royal) wedding don'ts:

1 - Make sure your bridal bouquet is in proportion to the size for your wedding dress.  While Kate's bridal bouquet was lovely it was too small for the gown she was wearing and looked more appropriately sized for a bridesmaid bouquet.

2 - If your guests will be arriving before the ceremony begins, even half an hour, it's nice to offer them a beverage such as water, sparking water, iced tea, lemonade or champagne as they wait.  You can also have music playing, either canned or live.

3 - As mentioned on Twitter during the wedding, Post-it labels are not a detail you want your guests to see.  If you're reserving seats print pew cards or place cards at home or through your stationer.

4 - If either you or your fiance have a number of assets -- money, property, heirlooms -- that you want to ensure stay in the family then hire lawyers and get a prenup.  It's been reported that the new Duke and Duchess of Cambridge did not sign one, and neither are protected without one -- his wealth or her royal title as well as guarantees to money and property if they get divorced.  Remember what happened to her mother and his aunt Fergie?

5 - Yes, the bride looked beautiful but her makeup could have been better.  We all know that Kate decided to do her own wedding makeup and had private lessons but your everyday makeup may not be best for your wedding day.  You need to wear makeup that will last all day and ensure that you look great in your photographs and video.

6 - The one hiccup during the ceremony was where Prince William had a little trouble getting the wedding ring on Kate's finger.  Make sure to try on your wedding rings before you leave the jeweler to ensure that you don't have a similar issue during your wedding ceremony.

7 - The Queen hosted the wedding -- you knew because the wedding invitations came from her office.  I was told through my sources that The Queen had strong feelings about certain wedding details and the couple had to acquiesce to her request because she was both paying for the wedding and there's also that she is The Queen.  When parents or grandparents offer to chip in for your wedding make sure to find out if there are any strings attached to the check, and if so make sure to find out what they are in advance of cashing it.

8 - I  think it was the ambassador to Syria who was disinvited a few days before the wedding, and while his invitation was revoked due to international conflicts - and I'm not making a political statement here - in general I wouldn't advise disinviting a wedding guest days before your wedding.  It will mess with your seating chart.

9 - Are you planning on wearing a veil?  Make sure that the veil you choose doesn't lay flat on your face but gives you a bit of breathing room.  One trick is to hold your bridal bouquet under your veil but towards the hem of it so the fabric is pulled (slightly) a way from your face.

10 - At the evening reception for the newlyweds it's been reported that each table, there were 30, were named for places that were important to the couple.  It's very difficult to find tables that are not numbered because the table could be anywhere in the room.  With numbers it's usually even on one side, odd on the other and in numerical order.  If you're having over 10 tables it will make it easier for guests to find their seats if they're numbered.

When Your Mother Wants the Wedding Dress You Don't

It may happen.  Sometimes a bride has a vision of her wedding dress and the one her mom envisions for her is much different.  You would think that the bride will win, and I hope she does, but sometimes getting the dress of your dreams can be an uphill battle.

Make mom happy by going wedding dress shopping with her and try on the style that she thinks is best for you -- you may be surprised that mom was right -- but if you still hate the style point out to her why you don't like it, and mom may agree with you once she's see you in a few different dresses.

Always remember that your mother has thought of this day probably since she was pregnant with you and is just as excited as you are that you're getting married.  Indulge her a little and while I'm not saying that you get the dress she wants for you over your own opinion, I am saying to take her with you and let her know that her opinion does matter to you.

And when it comes to other details of the wedding, if there's something mom really wants and you don't really care one way or another, go with mom's idea simply because she's your mother and it will make her happy.  She may back off another area of the wedding that really does matter to you.

When There's a Month to Go Get Some Help

Today is March 29th, one month to go till Prince William and Kate Middleton tie the knot!  And like most brides I'm sure Ms. Middleton has a lot on her wedding planning to-do list.

In the final weeks to your wedding you'll want to make sure your RSVPs are all in so you can finalize your seating chart and give your caterer a headcount, confirm that all your bridesmaids have their bridesmaid dresses and that they're being altered, attend your bachelorette party and finalize last minute details such as wedding program, favors and tosses.

I know being a princess bride means that you have a whole staff of people planning the wedding with you, but every bride should have a team of people helping her in the final weeks.

Your mom, his and your bridesmaids can all be your support staff -- making favors with you, binding programs, helping with confirming last-minute details with vendors.  Don't be afraid to ask people to help you.  I'm sure they offered already!

But if you want to hire a professional, remember that a day-of wedding planner actually is hired a few weeks or a month before the wedding.  They'll assist with the final logistics and details.  You can't expect them to show up the morning of your wedding and know what to do, right?  So if you are thinking of hiring someone start interviewing potential day-of planners about three months before the wedding so they have enough time to help you in the final stretch.

Take a Vacation from Wedding Planning

Is the stress of wedding planning starting to get to you?  Do you need to take a break from inspiration boards, vendor meetings and bridesmaid dress shopping.

It's okay to say you need a break.  Wedding planning can get very involved and with a full-time job and social life it can take a lot out of you.

So put the wedding books down and stop checking the wedding blogs and plan a weekend getaway with your fiance or make it a girl's weekend if he's starting to get on your nerves -- and no this is not instead of your bachelorette party -- and take the weekend off.

You don't have to buy plane tickets and fly off to an exotic (a/k/a expensive) destination.  Hop in the car and book a room at a B&B a few hours away or book a hotel room in the closest big city.  Your weekend itinerary can include laying by the pool, spa appointments, shopping, fine dining or sitting in your room reading a (non-wedding planning) book.

Remember that wedding planning should be fun, so if you're not having fun take a break for a few days or a week and come back to it when you're looking forward to attacking the tasks on your to-do list.

In the Words of Yo Gabba Gabba: You Can't Always Get What You Want

This is one of my favorite songs from the kid's show Yo Gabba Gabba -- you can hear it here -- and after listening to it for the millionth time today I thought it fit nicely as a part two to yesterday's post on What's Worth Fighting For.

When planning your wedding there will be lots of ideas that you'll come across that you'll want to include.  And there are fabulous vendors that you'll meet, but unfortunately may not be available or not in your budget.

While your wedding may seem like the be it and end all of every event you'll ever plan, I promise you it won't be.  You'll plan birthday parties, holiday parties, showers and even cocktail and dinner parties where you can include cast-off ideas and vendors you couldn't hire for your wedding.

It's important when deciding on your details that you stick to your budget and include the elements that are most important to you.  And if something is out of your price range see if you can take money from another area of the wedding.

Now once the wedding's over don't toss away your unused ideas.  Save them in a notebook or box and when you're planning your next party - whatever the occasion and size - take them out and see what you can use or be inspired by for the event!

It's not worth stressing over things you can't have, especially if you can't do anything about it.

What's Worth Fighting For

Let's face it, weddings bring out the best and worst in people.  You'll find that you and your fiance, your mom, dad, his mom and dad and your friends will disagree on a variety of different details.  And disagreeing is fine.  What's not fine is a disagreement turning into a fight that includes yelling and tears. 

I know that many brides will want all of the details of their wedding done in a specific way, but sometimes you have to make concessions and compromise.  Maybe it's a budget issue.  Maybe there's a detail that you're not so concerned with but it's really important to your mom.  Whatever it is, before making any statement you'll regret take a breath and walk away from the discussion and really think about how important this issue is to you.

Maybe after thinking about it you'll realize that it's not so important or maybe you can find a way to make a deal on another detail -- kind of a barter.

At my wedding I really wanted a 7-tiered wedding cake but my dad said he would only pay for the 5-tiered cake, and at the time I was really upset about it, but after the wedding I realized that the 5-tiered cake looked great and it was better in the end not to spend an additional $2,000 on the cake.  Instead, I put that money toward a vintage Good Humor ice cream truck.

So before you fly off the handle because your groom is insisting on bottle opener wedding favors or your parents are insisting on inviting 30 additional people you've never met, ask yourself how important are these details to you in the grand scheme of things.  And if you give into their request, remind them that you did when you are asking for something they think is ridiculous.

Tips on Handling Your B-List Wedding Guest List

I was talking to a bride and groom a few weeks ago about their guest list. They wanted to know how best to handle mailing invites to their B-list guests.

The venue could only hold 100 people but they had about 125 people they wanted to invite to their wedding so they put 25 people on their B-list.

I told them that the best way to handle it is to mail the wedding invitations about 10-12 weeks before the wedding and when they start getting “not able to attend” replies they can send the B-List invitations. Hopefully the regrets will come in sooner than later so when the B-lister gets an invite at the 6-8 weeks before the wedding point they won’t think that their invitation was late because most people send wedding invitations at the 8 weeks to go mark.

Now there are a few points I’d like to add to this post:

1 - Do not send a save-the-date card to anyone on your B-list because anyone who receives a save-the-date card is expecting a wedding invitation.

2 - Do not invite people to your bridal shower if they’re on the B-list because they’ll be expecting a wedding invitation to follow.

3 - Most RSVPs to come back first are the “attending” cards so you may not get a lot of “regrets” until several weeks after invitations have gone out, which makes it harder to send your B-list guests invites in a timely manner.

4 - Wedding experts agree that 10% of your invited guests will not be able to attend your wedding but that doesn’t mean you should add 10% to your guest list. Your wedding could be the one where everyone who is invited can make it.

Budgeting for Going Over Your Wedding Budget

So over the last few weeks I’ve become a fan, Dave would say obsessed, with the show Bones. It’s a crime drama. In this week’s episode a wedding planner is murdered and there’s a scene where the father of the bride and the bride are arguing about money. The FOB is explaining to his daughter that there’s no more money for a certain wine she wants and expensive orchids for the centerpieces. The bride is not happy with his answer.

When you’re planning your wedding budget I always recommend reserving about 10% of your budget for emergencies. Now, I’m not saying that fancy orchids or wine is an emergency but it’s quite common to decide at the last minute that you must have some detail that you hadn’t thought of before -- a bridal fashion accessory, wedding favor, floral detail, entertainment, etc…

By having that money on reserve you’ll be sure not to go over budget or have to stress about not being able to have something you really want on your wedding day.

Shopping Online: What's the Return Policy?

Whether you're buying a wedding dress, jewelry, wedding invitations or wedding favors online it's important to know what the return policy is on the Web site you are shopping on.

Every company has a different policy, and don't assume that there's a money-back guarantee. Especially if what you're buying is personalized.

Before clicking "buy," check the site's return and exchange policies, and if you can't find them or don't understand them, find a phone number or e-mail address and try and get an answer from someone at the company. Keep track of what that person tells you, as well as their name and title, so if you have any problems making a return or exchange, you can tell the company what you were told and by whom.

Don't Be Afraid to Ask Friends and Family to Help You with Wedding Details

Do you have a very talented group of friends and relatives? Don't be afraid to ask them to get involved in your wedding plans. Some may volunteer and offer their services as a wedding gift.

If you like what's being offered, go ahead and accept, but make sure you know exactly what you're getting and they know exactly what they're doing.

While you may not want to write a formal contract between friends, you want to know that they won't cancel at the last minute for a paying job or a conflict, leaving you without a key wedding element. Just to be safe, check in with them every now and then to confirm that they are still prepared to deliver the goods or services on your wedding day. And if you get the feeling that something's wrong, don't be afraid to ask if there's a problem and if necessary cancel on them and hire a professional or buy the items yourself.

Don't Forget to check Wedding Vendor Refrences

Don't be afraid to ask prospective wedding vendors for a list of references. He or she should be able to give you a list of past clients that you can e-mail or call to ask them about their experiences working with the vendor.

It's important to ask references about their experience with the vendor, what services they hired the vendor for and if they were happy with the experience.

You will be spending a lot of money and time with the wedding vendors you hire so it's very important that you do your homework and research the businesses you are meeting with.

In addition to speaking with past clients, you can also ask the vendor to give you references for other vendors they have worked with.

The Most Important Wedding Detail...Fun

I was at the doctor today and he asked me what I do so I told him I'm a weddings editor.  He then told me that the most important wedding detail is fun.

He said that the food and flowers are fine but if you don't have a great party people won't have fun and that's what people remember -- if they had fun at your wedding.

I completely agree.

And I'll take it one step further.  You should have fun while planning your wedding.  If you're not having fun then stop and take a break.  And at your wedding enjoy yourselves.  Let the little things go and enjoy every moment of what should be the happiest day of your life.

Get Yourself a Wedding Organizer, Planner or Binder

Whatever you call it -- a wedding organizer, wedding planner or wedding binder --- it's important that every bride has something that will help her stay organized throughout the wedding planning process.

Your wedding organizer is where you will keep all your important documents: contracts, vendor and bridal party contact information, wedding inspiration and receipts.

Whether you buy a wedding organizer or create your own, make sure it has easy to read section dividers so you can find what you're looking for, as well as pockets, sheet protectors or folders to store loose papers like tear sheets from bridal magazines, printouts from Web sites, contracts and receipts.

Take your wedding organizer with you when meeting with vendors to show them what your vision is and what you are planning with your other vendors. You will also want to have note paper with you to jot down what you discuss.

You may also want to add an "If found please return to" label in case you leave your wedding organizer somewhere.

Your Wedding Priorities

At the beginning of the wedding planning process, make a list of the elements and wedding details that are important to you. Is it important to get married at a specific location? Do you need to have a designer wedding dress? Is a delicious menu at the top of your wish list?

Once you have an idea of the type of wedding you want, ask your fiancé to list his priorities. Remember, it's his wedding too. 

After you have both lists you may want to ask your parents and his if they have any wishes for the wedding too, especially if they are contributing financially.

Pull all the priorities together on to one master list and as you begin to meet and hire wedding vendors, make it clear to them what elements and details you want for your wedding. It'll make it easier for them to see your vision by explaining what you want and what you don't want. 

Have a Wedding Magazine or Book With You At All Times

I was at the doctor's office today and there was a wait.  A two and a half hour wait.  Boy was I glad that I had a book in my bag to read - William & Kate: A Love Story.  There's no TV in the waiting room and reading magazines that are months old isn't enjoyable after the second one.

While planning your wedding you'll soon learn that there are dozens of wedding books and magazine to flip through for both information and ideas.  It doesn't hurt to keep one on you in case you have time to kill -- on the train, bus, at the doctor's office, waiting for a friend at a restaurant.

You can also download wedding planning podcasts to your iPod and listen to them for wedding planning ideas and tips.  I recommend the Wedding Podcast Network because they have a pretty extensive library that you can download.

Bookmark You Favorite Sites

When surfing the Internet for ideas for your wedding it's important to favorite or bookmark pages and sites that you like so that you can easily find them again.  I can't tell you how many times I come across something online and think to myself oh I won't forget that site and of course I never remember it and can't find it again.

While planning your wedding you'll probably be looking for wedding dresses, planning information, style ideas and a zillion other wedding things online.  With a magazine you can simply tear the page out and put it in your organizer but with a website you have to either print out the page and/or save the page.

Make a bookmark folder and label it by category:  wedding dresses, wedding planning, wedding style, etc... and don't be afraid to bookmark any and every site you come across.  It doesn't cost anything and will take up a minimal amount of space on your computer.  It will save you time and stress.