Thank You E18+E357

Dear Bros and Sis from E18+E357,

By the time you read this (through Sister Meiyan's/Sister Xiaoting's announcement), you would have already known that I have transferred cell groups due to personal reasons. These are reasons that I will not reveal, and Sister Meiyan will not too as it is 'somewhat too personal'. I would appreciate that you do not ask me about it.

It is hard for me to transfer to another cell group, especially when it is so sudden. I just want you to know that no one in the cell group, in fact, no one at all is to be blamed regarding this.

Btw, I do not know, at this point of time, which cell group I am going to transfer to. Anyway, I would like to meet all of you again when it is possible. =)

This are my personal dedications to both E18 and E357. Find your names... =))

E18

Sister Meiyan- Thank you for your help. Under your leadership and discipleship, I have grown much in God. I've been through many hardships in my family, spiritual and personal life and it is through your counselling that I have overcomed this problems.

Carrie- You wanted the 'No Longer I' CD but I didn't have the chance to give it to you. I'm so so so sorry... I'll find a chance to give it to you one of these days ok? Still remembered you asking me whether I was sick... thanks for your concern. Thanks for your help as well all this while.

Cecilia- Though I may still see you everyweek during JAMs church and you are living just a few blocks away from me, it is different now. But I really wanna thank you for the advices you have given me so that I can improve in certain areas of my life. Remember the time we were baking cookies together? I would miss those times.

Chee Wee- Remember when I went to Tanah Merah just to give you the form? Forget about the free lunch you wanted to give me. Haha. Oh! I'll return you the book and the conference cds asap! Your cheerfulness and your smile really brightens up my day each time I see you. Thanks for being the cell group guitarist! Would miss those times you were playing the guitar... Thanks for your help in the cell group.

Jin Hui- Remembered the time when we talked about the Emerge Preaching Challenge. Still remembered that you took the trouble to call me to tell me about the challenge, but really sorry that I dropped my chance. Everytime I talk to you, I would feel that I will have learnt something new. And also thanks for being the cell group teacher, so whenever we have problems with schoolwork we would ask you. And thanks for your help all these while.

John Cheo- Friendly guy! Haha. And also very helpful as well. Your jokes are really... haha... But you are strong in your spiritual life and that's good. Thanks for all your concern all these while.

John Paul- Didn't know why we connected so well. From the first time I met you till now, we have become close friends. Buddies? Haha. I still remember when you always ask me to help you buy bread when going to church that time. And also your constant jokes. But what's more important is that you made a special impact in my life. You may not know, but you did. ;)

Jonathan- Got to know you more last year when I went for a make-up service with you. I also recalled attending one session of CIC with you. Haha. Thanks for your constant support in the cell group.

Julian- You just came so I didn't really get to know you well. But you're a nice person and really friendly too. Thanks for your support in the cell group.

Kong Wei- Di di! Haha. Though you're physically younger than me, but spiritually, you're older. Haha. Will miss you alot. And also the Planetshakers DVD. I'm giving it to you. =) And thanks for your support in the cell group as well.

Stephen- Haha. Ni hao mah? Still remembered your craze for Singapore Idol and I went to queue for an autograph with Taufik and Sly at Bedok. Haha. Focus on your interest in music and keep growing in God. I'll support you! And thanks for your support in the cell group.

Valerie- "Send me songs" Everytime when you login to MSN you will tell me that. Hahaha. And also study hours. Everytime I didn't meet need to explain to you why. Haha. Thanks for your support in cell group anyways.

Ying Giet- Hi! Haha. One of the persons I often talked to. Gonna miss you lots leh. And especially saying hi to you alot of times. You're very patient and that's good. Can listen to my lame jokes. Haha. Joking. Thanks for your support in cell group!

E357

Sis Xiaoting- From the time when you introduced to me a Bible to buy (the first time I stepped into church) to the time you rose up as a CGL, haha... it has really been quite a long time. Let your passion for revival in China burn as strongly as nvr before. Thanks for your help!

Yiwen- Hardly talked to you leh. Haha. But you still made a difference in my life by being my cg member. =)) Thanks!

Ying2- You seem quiet on the outside but acty your very crappy. Haha. See your blog can liao. Update more often lehs... Haha. Thanks!

Yulan- Also hardly talk to you one. But you really friendly lahs. Always with AHS people. Lol. Then so clever go IP (15=JC1?) Anyway, thanks!

Jasper- My cousin! Haha. Without you bringing me to church on Easter Saturday 2004, I will never be saved. Thanks so much!

Chee Siang- Recently than start talking to you alot. LOL. Sorry arh, keep forgetting to call you when you reach Eunos. Anyway, thanks!

Peter- Thanks for following me up after being saved. You have been a guide for me to walk through the beginning journey of my adventure with God. Through your lame but clean jokes and your advices, I guess I became better? LOL. Thanks!

Guixiong- My elder brother! Haha. You still owe me a blog design leh. Anyway, must rmb to wake up on Sunday! You late on schoolday nvm =)). But nvr on Sunday! LOL. Anyway, thanks so much!

Samuel- Same school as me. Lol. I started opening up in cg after you all came, cos before that no one was from my school. Thank God for you. =))

Weiming- You have grown much in God and that's good. =)) Your very quiet leh. Must talk more. Anyway thanks!

Maggie- Now I don't know what cg you are in... LOL... e357 bah... Anyway from the first time I met you, you are really friendly and helpful. Remember when we studied at Changi airport than you "confiscated" my mobile phone. LOL... Anyway thanks so much! See you at school...

Sharon- My SJAB and Prefectorial Board senior! Haha. Thank God you're saved. See you more often. Thanks!

Benjamin- My PB senior (somemore i taking over his department wors). Always ask me send you songs but you also send me lahs. LOL. Take care k. Thanks!

No matter what happens, I know that God is with me.

Jesus Christ- No matter what happens, You will always be with me. No matter what. It's time to begin a whole new adventure with You and to walk into the Way. Thank You Jesus.

It's time to start anew. Thank all of you for your support. God bless!

Regards,

Ashley

PS: IF I MISS OUT YOUR NAME, PLEASE TELL ME... APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE

put the past behind and starting afresh...

Many things happened in the past 2 weeks.
Too much that I cannot bear.
I seem to lost all my feelings when I heard all these things.
Not even sad nor angry. Just neutral. Too shocked to hear these things.
It seems that everything is pouncing on me at the same time.
I had to admit that it was totally my fault when it wasn't and had to accept the full consequence.

I don't wanna mention names or tell you all what happened.
It's totally personal. Very personal in fact.
When you all get to hear the news from other people, please don't even try to get a single information out of me. But thanks in advance for your concern.

Just felt that God is telling me to put the past behind and start afresh.
Shall do that.

Let God decide.

Thank You for the chance to live again,
for Your grace that never ends.

The Church of the Future

Wow! Pastor Kong's message was fantastic!
He talked about the 7 pillars of society:
Family, Religion, Business, Education, Government, The Arts and Media

So far, most churches has only been able to penetrate through family (marriages, funerals, Sunday school, family consuelling) and religion (of course, Christianity is a religion). Many have not been making a chance to penetrate through the Business, Education, Government, The Arts and Media pillars of society. These 5 pillars are commonly known as 'the marketplace'.

The Church, so far, have been making disciples but not discipling nations. We need to change societies and nations! The great commission is to "go therefore and make disciples of all NATIONS..." and not individuals. Now we need to do so by penetrating into the marketplace.

Is it possible? Look at CEOs and the politicians. One word from them and many lives are affected.

In the 1990s, it was a decade of EVANGELISM
In 2001, they changed to TRANSFORMATION.

Look at Jesus, he was more of a businessman than a professional preacher.
He was a carpenter for 20 years. In the Bible times, a carpenter was a generic name for 'builder'. Jesus also used everyday business language. In His parables, he talked about managing and investing money (the parable of the talents [talents= hebrew currency in Bible times]), wine-making, employing people (the parable of the workers in the vineyard).
Furthermore, the 12 disciples were all professionals from the marketplace (e.g. Luke was a medical doctor)

Jesus, a friend of the poor, had no problem moving in the high societies. He was invited to wedding banquets and other events.

All of us is an annointed member, a powerful minister. The early Church strated growing when the focus was on the marketplace. Paul used the businessplace to build a contemporary church, and the whole region experienced total transformation. (Acts 19)

In Indonesia, revival was experienced. It has the 4th largest population, 10% Christians but more like 30%. Many businesses and hotel chains are owned by contemporary, born-again believer. Morever, many of them (the owners) are founders/senior pastor, ordained pastor, associate pastor, assistant pastor in their own churches. Wow!

LET US BE A CHURCH OF THE FUTURE.
WE NEED TO REACH OUT TO HOLLYWOOD, MTV AND THE MARKETPLACE.
The Church of the Future = Modern, Contemporary, In touch with the world
A church dosent have to be so backdated, singing songs nobody sings, and pastors preaching messages that dosent have any effect on their member's lives.
This is the time for TRANSFORMATION

it dosen't matter

"You mean everything to me
You're all this world could never bring
Your name reigns in my heart
You're all that I depend on"

Jesus is all that I depend on. He is all that I trust.
It dosen't matter if the world is against me.
Whether I have problems that can persecute me.
I know that He is there. He is everything to me.

Cos Jesus is not the first priority in my life,
He is my only priority.

I will crucify my flesh,
along with the problems of the world,
on the Cross.
Together with Him.
My spirit shall reign with Him,
like how He reigns in my heart.
The spirits of temptations shall get out of my life.
For they have no right to be in me.
For Christ lives in me.

It dosen't matter anymore.
Whatever problems I come across.
Whatever persecutions I face.
I'll just put on a smile and say,
"Christ is with me".

To feel His presence in my life.
To be a blessing to others.
Let me flow with the river of the Holy Spirit.
With peace and tranquality.
Cos You calm the raging seas and storms in my life.

Because I have been crucificed with Christ,
I NO LONGER LIVE BECAUSE
CHRIST LIVES IN ME!

Messed Up...

Life's feeling so messed up now.

MSN messenger not working. No communication today. So boring...

Feeling so sick. Went to see doctor. Perhaps God is trying to console me... the doctor is a Christian that helps in mission work frequently. So we chatted about stuff. That really brightened up my life. Anyway, not going school tmr. Note to shiyong: I'm not going for cross country so change the person i/c of checkpoint 1.

Spiritual life... some days feel the fire of God burning in me... some days don't even feel like praying or worshipping God. i jus force myself to pray and don't feel his presence on those days. what's the point of doing so then?

Can't go Emerge Preaching... i forgoed my chance because i'm sick and i am feeling weak. like wad sis meiyan say, i should take a good rest at home cos there's no point travelling so long to YMCA for that 3 minutes when i'm sick. Feel I let the cell group down. I let God down. I let myself down. I spent 3 weeks preparing the sermon outline but yet I cannot go... Hard work gone down the drain. But like what pastor preached, just thank God that He is still with me through all these.

Exam results... passed 2 only and failed the rest... am i really that bad? i dun wanna hv meet the parents session... i'll get killed for sure... not literally but physically... my mom's depression attack will work up again and i don't think u all noe wad will happen when ur mom takes a knife and tries to stab u... God help me... It may seem to my friends as if I don't care at all when I saw the results slip, but I'm freaking worried now... Anyway thanks to some pple esp victor for trying to console me... just dun wanna get my results... dun wanna get my report book... i noe its just the mid-point, but my parents wont understand... they'll think its the end of the line... haiz...

Wonder what's happening to me now?
Is God testing me?

Exams!!!

Yay! 2 more days till exams are over!
This exam has been a rough ocean for me.
Alot of difficulties faced.
But have faith I will still pass. Haha. Yup, faith.

Oh ya speaking of faith, that's the topic for the preliminary round
of Emerge Conference! Woohoo! Cool right?
Praise God!
And also pray that nothing clashes within 6-9 June.
No CCA, no camps... Nothing.
And my parents will allow me to attend the full conference.
FAITH!!!

Yups...

Breaking down... =((

Stress! Exam stress, to be more exact.
I look very different these few days.
Guess this answers questions to all those who asked what happened to me.
But to those who asked me not to be stressed out,
how?

Wish that time could reverse.
Wish that I could take EMaths Paper 1 again.
10/50 for Paper 1 is not good! In fact, its worser than worse!
How can I get A2 for EMaths?

With this to discourage me. (Why must the papers be marked so early)
How confident can I be with one full week of exams ahead of me?
Can I get A1s, A2s and B3s for my subjects?

Couldn't take it. Sort of cried during Chinese period.
Just SO stressed out. AAAAAH!
Then when I went home, slept for 4 hours. Just so tired.

I regret not revising in depth for my exams.
I regret slacking.
But it's too late to regret now.

By God's grace,
I am able to do it.
Like what my kor said,
Dun let a small barrier overcome me so much.

God give me strength, determination and a good memory.

Exam is coming very, very soon again!
Haiz... there goes my free time.
But need to glorify Him, and achieve my goal of getting B3 and above for all subjects.
Mug. Mug. Mug.

Nothing is impossible with God.
My new motto in life.
Cool right?
Haha.

Service last Sunday was great!
Not just inspired me. But changed me inside out.
I don't want to be just a believer of Christ or a member of a church.
I want to be a disciple of Christ. 101% committed to Him.
I know my life will not be the same.
It will not be easier. It will not be a straight road full of blessings.
It will be a messy road full of trials and testings.
But I know I'll get through with Him.
Nothing is impossible with God.

Oh yea. One last thing.
I am offically a JAMs service worker! Woohoo!
Interviewed with Santhi last Sunday.
Will balance church, cell group, ministry, studies, family and friends.
Cos nothing is impossible with God. =))

Ok. Got to sleep now. Bye!