Citadel (2012)

HERE’S A QUESTION for all the dads out there: Could you protect your child from evil if you were afraid of everything?

That’s the dilemma posed by the Irish horror import Citadel, where we meet Tommy (Aneurin Barnard), a young father afflicted with chronic agoraphobia after his pregnant wife is brutally attacked by a gang of hooded youths (children, to be exact). When the same gang starts terrorizing Tommy again, intent on kidnapping his baby daughter, he seeks help from a doubting yet sympathetic nurse (Wunmi Mosaku) and a vigilante priest (James Cosmo) to overcome his fear and destroy the gang for good.

Drawing from his own experience with agoraphobia following a violent mugging, Citadel’s first-time feature writer/director Ciaran Foy paints Tommy’s world as a bleak, grimy landscape of blues and greys (much like how Tommy views his life and his future). Foy does an effective job at balancing scares with cares, putting Tommy in the hands of Mosaku’s nurse just long enough to provide the viewer with a false sense of relief before throwing Tommy back into danger at the hands of the gang. (Also great: Foy’s use of Tommy’s old apartment number (111) and the recurring theme of threes.)

Looking and acting like Elijah Wood’s strung-out big brother, Barnard does a great job capturing the struggle of a new parent stricken with a crippling fear and topped with a coating of paranoia. Cosmo’s embattled priest, while quite the screen presence, is a somewhat uneven mishmash of profane wisdom, jarring frankness, and tough love. Also, his exposition explaining the origin of the feral children is muddled and dodges the obvious question: If this gang of children has been around for decades, wouldn’t there now be a few adults in the group?

Winner of the Midnighters Audience Award at the 2012 South by Southwest (SXSW) Film Festival, Citadel is nearly everything a horror film should be – “nearly” because of the third act, a showdown in the abandoned apartment tower where Tommy and his wife lived when she was attacked. This finale plays like a haunted-house action sequence and betrays the creepy, atmospheric tone Foy set in the first hour. The film also ends somewhat abruptly: one side wins, and almost immediately the credits roll.

As good as Citadel is, a word of warning to anyone who’s an expectant father, a single dad, or a parent of an infant: Before you know it, you’ll soon be wondering if you would have what it takes if faced with the same terrors as Tommy.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Absolutely not. In the opening scene, Tommy’s wife is viciously attacked by the gang; Tommy’s emotional breakdowns are harrowing to watch (though he’s oddly emotionless when taking his wife off life support); the hooded children are truly scary: they attack and kill several people, complete with graphic noises and bloodshed, either in shadows or off screen; Tommy’s baby daughter is put in peril in several scenes; one of the hooded children’s throats is slit, complete with spraying blood; there are many profanities.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

With a pregnant mother beaten to death in the opening scene, a gang of mutated killer children, and the ongoing threat of a baby girl being stolen by the gang, I can’t see too many mothers who would be willing to sit through Citadel.

"Candy-Gram."

Citadel
* Director: Ciaran Foy
* Screenwriter: Ciaran Foy
* Stars: Aneurin Barnard, Wunmi Mosaku, James Cosmo, Jake Wilson, Amy Shiels
* MPAA Rating: R


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The Bleeding House (2011)

I LOVE HORROR FILMS. But lately, I’ve been underwhelmed by what’s being released.

Major studio horror has been largely tepid PG-13 fare, while my attempts to appreciate independent horror films have left me unsatisfied and frustrated.

So when I came across The Bleeding House, I wasn’t sure what to think. It’s not a mainstream release from a big studio, but rather Tribeca Film, who knows a thing or two about championing quality filmmaking and up-and-coming directors. Yet there still is a bit of an indie vibe with their releases…

Before I could overthink any more, I popped in The Bleeding House and hit play…

Plot:
Meet the Smiths: milquetoast husband Matt (Richard Bekins), resentful wife Marilyn (Betsy Aidem), even more resentful teenage son Quentin (Charlie Hewson), and troubled teen daughter Gloria (Alexandra Chando), who only answers to the name “Blackbird.” They’re a family living in a back-road Midwestern home and sharing a mysterious, traumatic past. When sweet-talking southern gentleman Nick (Patrick Breen) arrives on their doorstep, his calm, outgoing nature and neighborly Christian personality seem to be just the remedy the Smith family needs. However, as the stranger’s true intentions come to light, he emerges as a cold, driven killer, who thinks he has been sent from God to serve punishment upon the family for their past.

Critique:

The Bleeding House is writer/director Philip Gelatt’s first film, and it’s a doozy. He lets the tension and discomfort in the Smith house grow slowly and steadily, until Nick’s true intentions are revealed. Even then, Gelatt doesn’t let up on the uneasiness or queasiness, doing it all at a pace that’s as methodical as Nick when he's delivering his special brand of salvation.

As the Bible-toting, self-righteous stranger, Patrick Breen owns every scene he’s in without being showy. He portrays Nick as every bit the southern gentleman, whether he’s spouting homespun colloquialisms or daintily washing blood off his hands and knife so as not to soil his immaculate white suit. He’s essentially a traveling salesman of salvation – the Smiths aren’t the first family he’s visited – who’s committed to his twisted sense of “kindness” as he literally bleeds people dry.

With The Bleeding House, Philip Gelatt eschews the jump scares and heavy-handedness of many recent horror flops and delivers a film that’s both captivating and harrowing, with a dash of nihilism for good measure. Seek it out to experience genuine, well-crafted terror.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

That would be no. A bird’s neck is snapped; several people are hit on the head with blunt objects; many people are stabbed; three people have their throats slit, with a lingering shot of one dead person’s head and neck, blood oozing out of the wound; Nick drains the blood from two of his victims via a pump and tube mechanism; a person’s head is bashed in with a rock; two people are shot dead; and a person stitches up their own knife wound, in close-up.

Will your FilmMother want to watch it?

If she likes effective horror/thrillers, The Bleeding House is one worth watching together…provided she can stand close-up shots of blood being siphoned out of people and into large containers and mason jars.

God is great, God is good,
but he sent a weirdo to our 'hood.

The Bleeding House
* Director: Philip Gelatt
* Screenwriter: Philip Gelatt
* Stars: Patrick Breen, Alexandra Chando, Betsy Aidem, Charlie Hewson, Nina Lisandrello, Richard Bekins
* MPAA Rating: R


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The Chosen One (2008)

THESE DAYS, with the many affordable advancements in computer technology, it’s easier than ever for a filmmaker and/or animator to create a full-length movie. Case in point: my last review.

Case in point deux: director Chris Lackey, who – according to the film’s press kit – animated The Chosen One “almost entirely from his Santa Monica apartment” as “a truly independent film alternative to the big, multi-million dollar studio animated movies.”

And while bigger is indeed not always better, and independent filmmaking can be innovative and inspiring, would The Chosen One truly be a godsend to viewers?

Plot:
Lou (Chosen One co-writer and composer Chad Fifer) is having a bad day. He’s dumped by his girlfriend (Laura Prepon), fired from his job, his car is totaled by falling satellite, and he’s attacked by a bear. While recovering from the bear attack, Lou’s geezer roommate Zeb (Chris Sarandon) takes him to Zeb’s oddball church, where the congregation declares Lou to be “the chosen one” and sends him to Kansas on a mission to bring the world into a new age of enlightenment. But as Lou begins his journey – with Zeb and ex-coworker Donna (Danielle Fishel) in tow – a rogue group of church leaders sends a squad of mercenaries (including femme fatale Traci Lords) to kill Lou – while a dapper, Fabio-esque Lucifer (Tim Curry) joins Lou on his trek, filling his ear with religious rhetoric…and what Lucifer feels is Lou’s true calling.

Critique:

I was really hoping to enjoy The Chosen One, due to its eclectic cast and unconventional animation. But I was also expecting (and hoping) for it to be more profane and savage in its execution. Not that a film has to be dirty to be funny, but The Chosen One is strangely a very tame film for tackling hot-button topics such as religion, relationships, and the meaning of life.

The animation is more South Park than Pixar – an irony, since The Chosen One’s timidity is the complete opposite of South Park’s no-holds-barred yet often intelligent raunch. (Lackey’s Flash-based animation and vector-art illustrations remind me of Internet ads I worked on at my agency circa 2002.)

The film’s narrative is meandering and nonsensical, and while the main characters all take turns philosophizing about what true happiness is, none of it is profound or memorable. In addition, the dialogue is flat and littered with punchlines that never rise above a sitcom. I smiled four times and didn’t laugh once (yes, I kept score).

Lackey and Fifer could have taken The Chosen One in three directions: a polemic questioning religion’s role in one’s fate, an outlandish comedy skewering the many outdated aspects of religious beliefs, or a clever combination of both. Unfortunately for the viewer, they chose none of the above.

Rating:

Is it suitable for your kids?

Aside some cartoon violence involving fighting and explosions, there’s nothing in The Chosen One that’s truly offensive or inappropriate. But that doesn’t mean your kids would find the film even remotely interesting.

Will your FilmMother like it?

Even if she likes films that question such higher topics as religion, mortality, or morality, she’ll be disappointed by The Chosen One. And if she’s looking for a laugh-out-comedy…um, what’s worse than “disappointed?”

Sorry, Zeb…for this film, your thumb’s in the wrong direction.

The Chosen One
* Director: Chris Lackey
* Screenwriters: Chris Lackey and Chad Fifer
* Stars: Chad Fifer, Laura Prepon, Chris Sarandon, Danielle Fishel, Debra Wilson, Tim Curry, Lance Henriksen, Traci Lords
* MPAA Rating: N/A