Journey to Hear

I titled my blog after the foundation that my amazing friend Hailey has set up to help out the many deaf children in Utah County but I also write that title because I want to emphasize that it really is a journey. Last night we were able to attend the annual speech and arts fair that is hosted by the Alexander Graham Bell Association and the Utah School for the Deaf and Blind. The theme of the night was "A Blast from the Past". It really was a blast from the past for me as I was able to watch the pre-school children and think about how far we have come. I can vividly remember Hadley in her first year performing. Now that it is our fourth year in attendance, the speech fair serves as my yearly reminder of the journey that our little Hadley has been on.


When you find out that your child has a major disability, it is earth-shattering in so many ways. The journey begins! For us, we knew so little about hearing loss that the first thing we did was embark on a journey of learning. We educated ourselves about the deaf community, issues in deafness, sign language, cued speech and finally, cochlear implants. Armed with information, we then began a journey of decision-making. It may seem like an easy decision to some people. If you have the ability to "restore" your child's hearing, why wouldn't you do it? But when you are faced with the choices, it really is difficult.


There are many who are against cochlear implants, citing the importance of a deaf person being part of the deaf community. That means you raise your child to sign, to attend church with deaf people, to attend a deaf school and to have an interpretor wherever they go. They will tell you that cochlear implants aren't always effective or they will tell you to wait until your child is old enough to make the choice. The strength of these opinions vary from those who are mildy opposed to implants and frown at the idea to those who are adamently against cochlear implants are are happy to let you know.


While our family was considering all of the options available to Hadley, we attended a workshop and learned cued speech. Most are completely unaware that such a system exists. I myself had never heard of it until Hadley came along. It is basically a visual representation of phonemes that, when used in combination with lip-reading, allows a person with no hearing to communicate using spoken English. It is, in simplified terms, a bridge between the spoken language and sign language. It uses no sign language but it gives a deaf person the ability to see some of the sounds that are being spoken. It really is an amazing system and as a language enthusiast, I was fascinated by the idea. We logged that information into our little but ever-growing stash of knowledge on our journey to understand just what it means to be the parents of a deaf child.


Obviously, when the choice came, we decided that Hadley would receive a cochlear implant. Her first surgery was in April of 2002. She was barely 12 months old and it was a horrible thing to have to go through. No parent should ever have to hand their little baby over to an anesthesiologist, knowing that she will be sedated, have her head shaved, her skull drilled and electrodes inserted into her cochlea.


The new phase of Hadley's journey began with her cochlear implant We had no idea what it truly meant for her. Now that we are many years down the road, we are able to see how having a cochlear implant has changed Hadley's life for the better. I know it is easy for others to offer their opinions on implants, hearing aids and all of the other many options that are available to a deaf child but I am confident that our daughter was given every opportunity possible to become who she is today and I am so proud of her.

Last night was yet another affirmation that Hadley is on the right path on her journey to hear. As I think back on the other years that she participated in the speech fair, I can see the evolution of a little girl who could barely say her name to this amazing, bright-eyed, confident person who hopped up on the stage last night and lead the audience in a sing along of The Beatles song, "I Want to Hold Your Hand". There was no trepidation in her. She smiled, held that microphone, introduced herself and said, "Raise your hand if you like The Beatles." I am never sure if I understand Hadley so well because she's my child and I am accustomed to her speech or if she really speaks clearly enough to be intelligible to everyone. To my delight, hands went up throughout the audience. She was clear, everyone understood her, and everyone sang along.

Oh, Hadley....I am so honored to be your mom. I am so thankful for this journey we are taking together. I am overcome with the person that you are today and I do not ever want this journey to end. I love you, Hadley Anne!

A True Easter Miracle

On Saturday, we thought it would be fun to take the kids to have their Easter pictures done. Lincoln has never had a professional picture taken since we haven't been allowed out in public. I figured Easter was a good time to break the rule and get a picture. I truly expected it to be a disaster but somehow, everything went smoothly. I even got the closest possible parking spot at the mall. Maddox smiled (he never smiles in pictures) because we had a male photographer. He thinks men are generally entertaining and funny. Women seem to bore him, unless they are Grandma, Mom, Hadley, Dama (my mom) or a few select neighbors who he really likes. While Lincoln was having his individual picture done, Grandma took Maddox for a walk. I hope she forgives him for being such fun! She had never before seen a true Maddox tantrum but she was lucky enough to witness one in the Disney Store, as he commanded her to, "Go AWAY!" He definitely forgives Grandma. As we pulled away from the mall, he was crying to go see her again. Either way, we got the picture, and the day was a success.

When I grow up....

I want to be 2! No, I didn't leave off a zero. I really want to be 2 again. Being 2 is fantastic. Here's why:

• You go to bed at night and sleep for 11 hours. But wait, there's more! You take an additional 2 hour nap in the afternoon. Doesn't that sound amazing? I realize I am speaking from the sleep-deprived perspective of a mom with a new baby. But really!
• You are filled with wonder, awe and excitement about almost everything. Hiding in a closet and popping out over and over again never seems to get tiresome, as long as your mom continues to feign surprise as you pop out. Seeing a bug on the sidewalk is as good as Christmas. Having a fireman show you the inside of his firetruck (yesterday, we saw a firetruck at the gas station), putting on his headphones and looking at his gas meter to check for gas leaks....why that's better than a million dollars.
• You never have to think about exercise because you have so much energy that you run and jump and skip and tumble all day long. When you fall down from all of your running, jumping, and skipping, you are so close to the ground that it's not so bad.
• Your smile lights up the room and it isn't from spending hundreds at the dentist with the latest teeth-whitening technique. You have true pearly whites and they're gorgeous.
• You talk to everyone and say what you mean.You say hi to the old ladies at the store and they stop and take a few minutes to admire you and talk to you. Your answers delight them, most of the time. If you see a man with a cowboy hat, you ask him if he's a cowboy. If you see an overweight gentleman with a beard, you ask him if he's Santa Claus. If you want to strike up a conversation with a younger guy, you ask him if he has a big truck or if he likes tractors. You ask the person in the wheelchair what their wheels are for and then follow up with, "I have a toy car at home."
• Everyone adores you. You get so many hugs and so many kisses in a day. You get snuggled, held and tickled. You get tossed into the air, read to, played with and taken care of. When you smile, everyone else smiles. When you laugh, everyone else laughs.
• If things aren't going quite right, you get to lay down and scream. You just let it all out and let us know what you think about how things are going. You can shout the new words that you heard your daddy say to see how mommy reacts and just have a good, old-fashioned cry whenever you feel like it.
• Your whole life is a ride. You get to ride in the car, ride in the stroller, ride on daddy's shoulders, ride on mommy's hip, ride in the bike trailer. It's like a giant amusement park and so you get to shout, "Wheeeeee!" when you are really enjoying the ride, or stick things in the wheels of your stroller just to see what happens.
• You love the snow because it's cold. You love the sun because it's bright and warm. You love it when the wind blows or when it rains. You aren't wishing for it to be any other time. You just seem content with the weather of today.
• You have a way of saying "Pleeeease" that really makes things happen. Who can resist when you say, "Mommy, will you pleeease play monster trucks with me?" or "Daddy, can we pleeease play basketball?"
• The world is a giant experiment and you are daily able to test out cause and effect. What will happen if I kick this door? I wonder what the dog will do if I pull her tail. Do you think it's okay to drink the water in the bath? I wonder what the water in the toilet tastes like. If I put my small car in the central vacuum hole, where will it go? If I hit my mommy, how will she react? How do I feel when I rub my oatmeal in my hair? Can I eat sand? What happens if I put my car and my dog and myself in the dog's cage? What is it like to poop in the bathtub?
• There are no worries about aging. No wrinkles, nothing saggy, no aches in joints. Everything is fresh and new and works just like it should.
• You don't wake up and think about bills to pay or work to do. You think about going to the zoo, playing with your train or getting a lollipop at the bank. Each new day is met with optimism and joy!

So....maybe we should all just try being 2 for a day to see how it goes! The amazing thing about having a 2 year old is that you can have moments when you really can see the world through their little eyes and it is a beautiful place.

Making messes

I feel like I spend my entire day cleaning and feeding people. Since I can't do anything about our need to eat, I would like to figure out how to fix the messes. And, by the way, this is not a picture of my house. I found this picture on Hailey's blog and it reminded me of my daily uphill battle : keeping my house clean. Does anyone have a brilliant suggestion for me? I could use some input because I am failing miserably. I know that to a great extent I am dealing with the reality of three children. This is a new experience for me and it seems as though one child always needs my attention. That means that I either don't sleep or I live with the mess, right? Since I am already not sleeping much and those are the only two ideas I can come up with, I was really hoping someone else had some much-needed house organization tips for me.

I must confess that I have finally resorted to paying someone come in to do the deep-cleaning on occasion (and it's blissful), but what about all of the piles of stuff, the toys, the clothes, the endless clutter? The only other thing I can think of is to THROW IT ALL AWAY, which I admit I threaten to do at least weekly when I am cleaning up the playroom. But I know that there are some wise women out there reading who can give me their secrets to success. Thanks, Girls!

Coming out

Exciting day here....

Mara had her beautiful baby girl. She's not much smaller than Lincoln. Poor guy. I hope his female cousin who is 4 months younger is not bigger than he is! She weighs 7 lbs 6 oz. and is darling.

And Hadley finally lost that top tooth. It was quite the event. She decided it was time to remove it and it was literally dangling there but she did not want Stewart to touch it. I don't pull teeth. I don't know why. I just don't. Stewart eventually managed to give it a twist and it came out rather easily. All that drama, though, made me realize that if she ever has children, I don't want to be there for the birth. I think Mara probably shed fewer tears in the birth of her baby than Hadley shed over that darn tooth.

A day for coming out!

Humorous

My profound appreciation, Karyn, my esteemed sibling. I anticipate verbose, prolific compositions on your site imminently. Chagrined to find an undergraduate achievement in my discourse, I intend to elevate my morphology as there is no rationalization for my deficiency. I do not intend to cease until vindicated. Surely you are aware that I jest for it is tiresome to perdure with the present lexicon. Ha!

First Grade Smile

Hadley is desperately trying to get her top two front teeth out, especially after her class sang "All I Want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" at the Christmas program. For now, though, she is proud of her "Jack-o-Lantern" Smile.

If you notice the date and time on this posting, it's 2 am and Lincoln is awake. The rest of my house is sleeping soundly and I am looking through pictures on my computer, trying to decide which ones to print and which ones to delete. I have about 6 years worth of pictures to go through so luckily, I'll have plenty to do if Lincoln decides to have another late night tomorrow. Too bad Hadley and Maddox won't let me sleep all day. I'd be a much happier person! Either way, Lincoln seems to be mesmerized by the light coming from the computer screen and I thought this picture of Hadley was so cute that I wanted everyone else to get to see it, too!

Farm Country

My year

Hey friends and family!

I have sent several of you my blog link as an apology for not keeping in touch. I guess I should offer something of an explanation. The last year of my life, I feel like I have been on a rollercoaster ride, only not the fun kind. It's been a really exciting and great year, but we have had so much going on.

It started last January when we learned that Hadley was having trouble with her cochlear implant. We took her to see a specialist in Denver and learned the worst...that her internal device was failing and that within a matter of time, she would most likely lose the remainder of her electrodes and be unable to hear. That meant another surgery for a new implant. After a few visits with other specialists, we decided to take her to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore to have her revision surgery. The Dr. we saw, John Niparko, is one of the very best in the field. Her surgery was at the end of February and initially appeared to go well.

In March, we learned that the revision surgery wasn't successful due to excessive damage caused by the first implant. She has some hearing with the revised implant but not enough. We scheduled another surgery for the day after school got out and she had her 3rd cochlear implant surgery on June 1st.

With the new surgery and the new implant came a learning curve and a few months of frustration. I am pleased to report that Hadley is now doing really well. Today, the hearing specialist from the district called and said that he is really pleased with her listening skills and that he finally feels like she is back on track. It took a year and a lot of work but she's all right!

We spent some time this year working on the Romney for President campaign. It was so much fun for us. We are so sad that he's out of the race but glad we got to share in some of the experiences of the campaign trail. Note to anyone reading: I do not recommend Iowa in August, especially when pregnant. The Straw Poll was really exciting but....wow...the humidity! The picture in the yellow shirts was taken about 15 minutes before I passed out. Seriously. We did get to talk to Campaign Carl, though, so that was cool!

We also made a great discovery this year: the very best time to take a trip to Disneyland. We went the week after Labor Day, when everyone has just gone back to school and we had a blast. There were no lines, the kids were perfect, the weather was perfect, and everyone had a great time. Of course, Stewart managed to plan yet another family vacation around a BYU football game so we had to go watch BYU lose to UCLA in the Rose Bowl. Maddox and Hadley loved the beach but I think Maddox is like his mom. As a true Florida girl, I hate the Pacific Ocean. It's way too cold. Maddox refused to go in the water!

Somewhere in the midst of everything, I managed to get pregnant with number 3. Lincoln Stewart Peay, apparently as impatient as my other two children, was born 8 weeks early. He arrived on November 19th and spent the next 6 weeks in the hospital. My other kids prayed and prayed for him to come home for Christmas but he didn't quite make it. Hadley, the eternal optimist, said, "That's okay! He'll be home by Kwanza!" Kids are great, right? I didn't even know when Kwanza was!

Those are really just the major events of the year. We've had more than a few minor events as well. Either way, it's been a crazy year for us. So this makes up for the Christmas card that I didn't send, right?

2 Little monkeys jumping on the bed

Luke came over to play today so Mara could go to the doctor. Look how cute she is! Only a few more days until we get to welcome Baby Annie.

The boys had fun playing together. It makes me worried about how things will be in a few years, though. When Maddox and Lincoln are tearing this place up, it may be complete chaos. Fun, though, right? Hadley has taught Maddox how to be bossy and poor Luke takes the brunt of it now but I am sure it won't be long before he is bossing Lincoln around.

triplets!

So I got to experience triplets today. I babysat my neighbors' children while they moved out. Her five year old and three year old sons were no problem. They just ran down with Maddox and did whatever boys do in the basement. I haven't been down to look yet but I'm sure it's grand. However, the twins were another story. I never thought I would breastfeed my own almost four month old infant while bouncing a crying eleven month old girl on each knee. What a feat!

I now have a whole new level of respect for anyone who has multiples!

1st time blogger

Okay...so I am finally going to join the blogging world. I can't think of a better way to preserve the memories that fill up my exciting days. I write that with some sarcasm since I haven't left the house yet today. No, I forgot...I did drive Hadley to school. She overslept and missed the bus. We can blame that on Lincoln, who decided to be awake from 3:30 until 6:30 this morning. Needless to say, when the opportunity came to sleep, I slept. What can you really miss in the first 15 minutes of first grade anyhow, right?

Life as a mom definitely has its challenges but I thought this would be a great place to reflect on some of the "sunnier" moments. Since my Maddox currently insists that I sing him "You Are My Sunshine" before he takes a nap and goes to bed, and since I am a former resident of and yearner for the Sunshine State, what better title for a blog?

So who am I? That's the question of the day, right? I am constantly being forced to re-define myself and figure out how I fit into this life as a mother of 3. We are very busy yet most days we really do nothing; someone is always crying yet we are really happy; life is really hard but still it's great. So does that mean I am one giant contradiction? I hope not!

The sunny moments seem to come often enough to keep me sane. I really do enjoy my children!