In Love with Music

I guess by now most people know I love to dance and love music, and I can't think of any better way to celebrate love and romance than with songs dedicated to these blissful ideas.

Do you remember the first song you fell in love to? I do. For me it was Dancing Queen by ABBA, and I fell madly in love with teen heartthrob Shaun Cassidy. Do not ask me why except he was cute and sweet and could sing Da Do Ron Ron with a straight face and such earnest resolve that I thought he truly meant it, whatever it was. What can I say? I was young and passionate and hormonal, whereas now I'm old and passionate and hormonal. Besides, who can resist a guy who can pull off feathered hair AND a tennis sweater around his shoulders?

SWOOOOOON!

Aah, those were the days, weren't they? Then we all have to grow up and love gets more complicated and strange and wonderful and, well, lovelier. I don't know about you, but I think I have a song for every relationship I've ever had, good or bad. Ever hear a song on the radio and have it trigger a memory of a paramour from the past? Music and love--they go together like ice cream and cake, like wine and cheese, like pizza and beer. You get the idea. :)

Below are some songs about love, plus Dancing Queen and Da Do Ron Ron (Shaun, call me!). Feel free to share your own favorite love songs. What songs did you fall in love to?

You're Gorgeous, Baby!

I really enjoy eye candy week, and not just for the obvious reasons. No, I like it because I get to sift through dozens of sexy, fun photos and call it work.

I love my job! Heh heh heh.

Seriously, I'm fascinated by human beauty, or what we each consider human beauty. I love art, and I love that artists like da Vinci saw beauty in those others might consider average looking. He was as apt to sketch a drunk at the local tavern as he was to paint a beautiful woman or an angelic child.

I like pretty things, but I'm constantly reminded that what I consider beautiful or sexy is not what constitutes the same for someone else. That's what makes the world such a wonderful place: diversity. I like to think that somewhere in this wide world, there is someone who might think I'm the most gorgeous creature on the face of the planet (besides my hubby), just because s/he likes the symmetry of my countenance, or the lack thereof.

With six billion people floating around, the chances that someone will find me attractive are quite high, even if that person resides in the farthest reaches of the globe and doesn't get out much, and that makes me feel good. Yes, I know that it's much better to be loved for who you are and not how you look. I believe it, too, because heaven knows I'm not the most easy-to-look-at gal in the universe. However, you have to admit that each of us has an ego, and that ego loves to be fed that little morsel of "Hey, you're cute!" once in a while.

Now, I'm not saying I need this reinforcement all the time. No, that's why the gods created chocolate and romance novels and cats--pleasant distractions for when the world has not adequately recognized our face value. Literally.

Speaking of face value, let's try an experiment. Look in the mirror. Stare straight into your own eyes and say, "You're ugly." Easy, right? Now look in the mirror and stare straight into your own eyes and say, "You're gorgeous, baby!" Easy? Not so fast. Did you giggle?

You wouldn't believe how many people have no problem telling themselves they're ugly or finding a flaw, but when it comes to acknowledging their own beauty, many stumble. They can't say it. They can't say it because they don't believe it, when the truth is, we're all beautiful. Ask anyone to point out a flaw, and you'll get a list three miles long. Ask that same person to point out an attractive feature, and you'll get maybe one or two items listed if any.

Let's go back to that imaginary person way on the other side of the world who doesn't get out much, the one who thinks I'm the epitome of hot, a goddess of the first order. I could tell myself that s/he doesn't know what s/he is talking about, that the person has bad eyesight, that the person spends way more time with mountain lions and sheep and whippoorwills than s/he does with humans and therefore has very low standards of human beauty. But I'm not going to because that would be insulting, and the need for self-deprecation should never overwhelm one's good manners. So I smile and am grateful that shepherding doesn't require glasses. :)

I'll now hop down off my soap box, or better yet, let one of these nice gentlemen assist me in getting down, and leave you with some "art" from my collection. Enjoy these hubba hubbas, and remember...

You're gorgeous, baby!

Our Bias Toward Beauty

Beauty and the Beast – a classic tale of a beautiful woman who's able to learn to love a man, despite his ugly exterior. Why don't we have the reverse myth? The superstud man who's able to see beyond an ugly woman's exterior to love the person within?


I can't get too serious on Eye Candy Week, but think about the subtle message. A woman needs to look beyond the exterior. A man does not.

It's no surprise therefore, that men freely admit that the number one thing they look for in sizing up a woman is physical appearance. Quick quiz: If they had to choose, would they go for a pretty face and an unattractive body, or a less-attractive face paired with a great body? (Answer below.)

Women often say they are more interested in a man's personality traits – a good sense of humor, sensitivity, etc. when evaluating a man as a romantic interest.

But I read about a clever study in which women were told they were hooked up to lie detectors. Those women reported much more interest in the physical characteristics of men they were evaluating as potential dating partners. )

We've all heard about dating sites where they "match" you based on your profiles and interests. Does it work? One large study I read about tried to use a computer to match students (750 of them!) based on a wide range of information – intelligence, personality traits, attitudes about different topics. After the paired students interacted with their blind date, they were asked how they felt about their partner. Turns out, the only factor that determined how satisfied they were with their match-up was physical appearance! Think carefully before spending money on any computerized dating service.

Why is physical appearance so important when thinking about romance?

- We prefer beauty in all things, not just people (artwork, flowers, scenery)

- Beauty is a positive trait and so we associate other positive traits with it (The beautiful person is smarter, more social, more successful). Studies prove this "halo" effect is true.

- From an evolutionary perspective, more attractive people look healthier and thus we prefer to choose them as mates

Despite all the forgoing, physical appearance is ultimately nothing more than a screening device. If you don't get beyond it to choose a mate based on shared interests, common values, and matching personalities, you may never find your true love.


Answer: Men prefer the better body over the prettier face (mating instinct?)