Hairy & Available, For A SHORT TIME Only, At Chef Choi

Once a year, they come. Much like a frigid woman.

They adorn the posters of all worthy Chinese restaurants, inviting clients to come and sample their hairy legs, and suck out their delicious insides.


This one comes modestly wrapped under a blanket.... as if to tantalize and seduce....


She says, "Sorry, I'm tied up at the moment"...(did I steal your line, Ciki?)


Ah, the sheer bliss and esctasy of the roe. Or is it sperm? Okay, the debate raged as to whether or not these were male or female crustaceans, since both are hairy anyway. A certain appendage distinguishes the male from the female, and Chef Tai Sim insists this was male, though our hostess CS insisted otherwise. We'll take the word of the chef....so, if Sebastian here is male, ... then what are we eating?


Apart from his sweet succulent flesh, that is....


These bits of sinful goodness...that rich creamy whatever, that melts in your mouth, and slides down your throat as you go through spasms of delight. Due to lack of consensus as to the sexuality of the crab and whether it was sperm, or roe, we decided to call it HE-ROE.


Check out those succulent legs with tender meat and the hairy arms, or pincers.


Now, this elevates noodles to dizzying new heights...



Even higher than this fork is doing....

Seriously, this Braised Ee Fu Noodles with hairy crab meat (that's "HAIRY CRAB" - meat, not "HAIRY" crab meat), is to die for. That natural creamy goodness from the roe, tossed into the springy ee fu noodles, cooked to perfection, with that oh so sweet crab meet, sublime. I could just eat this and be be happy.

Now, as time is of the essence, and these Hairy babies are here but for short time, and will be gone, I can assure you, before the next General Election, hurry over to CHEF CHOI, at

Chef Choi Restaurant
159 Jalan Ampang
Kuala Lumpur
Tel: 03-2163 5866

This is but PART of the fabulous meal we had...will post more on the Fellowship of the Pig

Mow Hai Hai Mow? Hairy Crabs at Dragon i.

Paranoid Android, who is the next Walking Wikipedia after Nigel Skelchy, (Nigel has the age advantage), asked on Twitter, are hairy crabs "Mow Hai" in Cantonese. Ciki replies, "Mow Hai, Hai Mow?". All my friends are comedians. My twitter page can be the script for a sitcom, as could my MSN, especially exchanges with the Venerable Thamby, aka Queen of the DSLR.

Those doomed to a life of humdrumness, and twiddling thumbs and swatting flies, like me, sit around all day waiting for friends to call. So, when I saw a Yahoo msg or was it an sms, from CIKI, obviously I scramble to open it quicker than our government changes it policies. And that's quick. OOOH, she asks me to be her date (I am shivering with excitement already) for a food tasting of Hairy Crabs (not Hairy's Crab....Hairy Crabs) from the famous Tai lake, at Dragon I at the Curve, on a lazy Saturday afternoon. Turned out the day was anything BUT lazy.

Mad rush ensued, as I juggled with the 15 cake orders for the day, and a slight hangover from the night before. Although it was just a little tipple with friends from the gym, this old man's resistance is dropping as quickly as his waistline is expanding. I was the LAST to arrive at Dragon I, much to my embarrasment, as seated on two tables were like the blogging gliterrati of Malaysia. The Queen Herself, KY Speaks, Nigel Skelchy, Ciki, KgBoy&Citygal. Gasp, its like attending an event with the DYMM himself, and coming late. I apologized profusely to our host, a very friendly Mr Kong, of PRK (PR Kraft), the PR company for the Dragon I group.

The first dish was the double boiled superior chicken soup with Fish Maw and Bamboo Pith. Superb hangover food. Cleansing to the soul, and rehydrating to the body. It wasn't too salty, as some soups are prone to be. The textures of the fish maw and chicken were just right.



They are very well prepared, the restaurant, as they even presented a bowl of soup specially for photography. A bit like a bride....doesnt always look like the real deal.



The next dish was Sauteed Fresh Vegetables With Crab Roe. Female crab roe, Kong explained to us. Female crab roe is harder and coarse than male crab roe.







"Male crabs have roe?" I ask in bewilderment. Obviously I should watch more National Geographic, and less Grey's Anatomy, as the latter doesn't teach you about crab anatomy.





Aren't the Xiu Long Baos with Hairy Crab row absolutely adorable? So dainty, almost a sin to eat them.


Of course, elegance should be consumed with elegance......
Of course no one saw it fit to photograph ME wolfing down MY xiu long bao, with all the finesse of a drunken sailor on heat.


Young Chow Style Fried Rice....probably the mandatory carb dish in the set. Oh, I did mention it was a set right? RM128++ for a six course Shanghainese set meal. Loved the rice. Fluffy, enough wok hei, and all that jazz. As Nigel pointed out, the prawns had been in a sodium bicarbonate spa for too long, and while they were texturally crunchy, there was about as much taste in it as a noveau rich chinaman decorating his newly built mansion in Kenny Hills.


We're heading for the climax, and given the necessary tools to do so as well.


No, its not for you to dig your nose, though I can't say I wasn't tempted.


Tah dah......... a platter of hairy crabs, all male, with 3 billion potential offspring on the plate to satisfy our greedy palate.
Oh, in answer to the earlier question about "Do male crabs have roe", well, [CHILDREN BELOW 18, dont read this], according to the reliable source on the table, it's kinda like Crab err...Sperm.



Look at me! I'm Hairy and proud of it!


The Glitterati throw themselves at the magnificent platter, not wanting to lose out on any action.


With the deftness of a surgeon, or a vet, the Captain deshells the crab, and reassembles it on a plate, as shown below. (corner right bottom is the Master Chef himself, whom the staff venerably refer to as Si Fu)





So, not only the Japanese can reverse engineer, so can the Chinese.



I HAVE to say, that the Male Roe was creamy and rich, and oh so good. Absolutely divine. Like eating Teuschers, Foie Gras and Truffles all at once. Shuddering in delight. Mmmmmm. Of course, that really IS the highlight, as the rest of the crab is nothing to shout about. The meat is sweet, but there's so LITTLE of it, it's like running a marathon to drink a glass of 100plus.

Dessert was Sesame Glutinous Rice Balls In Ginger Broth. As I couldn't hold my balls steady and photograph them at the same time, Nigel kindly held mine for me while I took a picture. I dunno why he only held up one ball. I reciprocated by holding up both of his, as can be seen in his post.



Not only is she the Queen, and writes like Shakespeare, and takes pictures like [who are the famous photographers in this world ah? Andy Warhol?], she can also multi task as she held up her own balls to photograph them. She the man!!! Bow bow bow, we are not worthy.










Posing for the Paparazzi.

Thanks Ciki for asking me to be your date. How else would little old me get to hob nob with who's who of the blogging world. Thank you thank you.

And special note of thanks to Mr Kong Wai Keong for having us.

The promo is on in autumn, (not our autumn la, autumn in China) when the crabs are in season. They are flown in on a weekly flight, on the promise of a vacation. At RM128++, well, it is a luxury, but hey, you have to factor in the airfare of the crabs, their rarity, and the loss of their descendants, so to savour that glorious roe, I'd say an occasional treat is in store.

When You've Had A Crabby Day, And Mars Bar Cheesecake

The locker room was full. It was the peak of the working out hours, and the air was redolent with sweat and body odour. Even the powerful deodorants with their promise of 24 hour protection fail to mask the stench. The sauna was fairly empty, as I made a cursory nod to the fellow inside, and asked if he minded if I poured water on to the hot coals.

Sitting in a lukewarm sauna is like eating toast with margarine. Pointless. A guy enters the fray, wearing a T shirt and underwear, (at this point, I wonder what the female locker room saunas are like) and stands in the middle of the room. Do men without washboard abs actually think they should be preening like peacocks in a sauna? He strips his shirt, and uses it to lapik his ass, and takes a seat on the hot wooden boards. He looks downs at the numerous folds in his belly, and pinches them, as if hoping it was but a dream. He then flexes his imaginary biceps, and actually feels them with his hairy claws.....




I think to myself, another splash of water into the furnace ought to do it, and finish him off.....



Ah, check out that lovely roe. Omigoodness, what was she doing in the male sauna room?!!!


Tis the season to be crabby, tralalalala. ..... That reminds me, on the first day raya, we receive a "shipment" of live hairy crabs, (relatives of hairy berry perhaps?), so I quickly call Queen of Crabs for advice on the best method of cooking these flers. I tell you, if I was on my dying breath, and hoping for QOC to be my saviour by answering the phone call, I'd be deader than those crabs by now. She SUBSEQUENTLY called back, hours later, by which time, the crabs had met their untimely demise, using common sense...

But these crabs were not from 1st day raya, they were from Tuesday Family Dinner. Even my offer to make a scallop and pesto pizza were rejected, coz of the abundance of food.

Apart from the Hairy variety, we also had their non-hairy cousins, (must be chinese), all just lightly steamed. The regular cook at home has returned home for the Raya holidays, and the temp cook's repertoire is a bit more limited, hence the plain steamed option. Which suits me fine.

Also, my office colleague had given us the most divine lemang. Apparently slow cooked on a wood fire. Not just ANY wood, but the wood of a Hairy Berry (Rambutan) tree. It was truly not like any of the commercial lemang you get. The rice was nice and chewy, without being soggy.

That was accompanied by the most amazing chicken rendang. Bursting with flavour, herbs and spices, it was a marriage made in culinary heaven.

To end the simple Tuesday night family dinner, I had prepared an experimental Baked Mars Bar Cheese Cake, which if I may say so myself, was the perfect end to the crabby meal. ...or any meal for that matter. Mars Bars on its own are too sickeningly sweet, but with barely any added sugar, and all that cheese, it imparted a lovely chocolatey, caramelly, salty flavour all in one bite.

Yes, it is available for order. RM65 only.

[Note: Sadly, there were crabs killed and harmed during the production of this blog]
[All resemblance to living, dead or half living people, especially in Fitness First, is completely coincidental]