Silence

Silence can be loud.
It is in this case.
I refuse to let it bring me down.
This should be...NO...WILL be a fun weekend.
Party. Friends. Food. Drinks. Presents.
I will look at as his loss.
And it is.

Toys Pt. 4

After putting my new toys away in my toybox (stashed under the bed), i dressed and went about my day.
With my pussy dripping wet, and ass tingeling from being cleaned out.
It wasn't long before i was able to get away for some quiet time.
i stripped out of my clothing again.
grabbed my toybox, lube, a towel and made myself comfy in bed.
the unexplored new toys were the plugs and the vibe.
i got into my position, when alone anal is easier on my side to start...
i squeezed lube on my anus and some on the thich bulb of the plug.
i was a little scared. it is bigger then anything i have done to myself before.
but i heard his voice in my head, pushing me, directing me.
i lined the plug up and pushed.
oh. oh. my. ouch.
Oooooooo.
it took about 5 min of fucking, stretching, pushing until i felt my ass open and swallow the plug.
So. Fucking. Good.
i laid on my back, grinding my ass down into the bed.
Quickly grabbing the vibe, turning it on and pressing it directly on my clit.
i needed to be filled, so i didn't wait to fuck my cunt.
i plowed the viberator in deep.
Feeling the vibrations against the plug from inside me...well...was almost too much.
i pumped my hips up and down, each time grinding my ass harder into the bed.
i slammed the vibe in deep.
Closed my legs.
and ravaged my clit with my hand.
i fucked myself for a long time. denying myself. playing as my Master would have wanted me too.
In my mind i was begging to cum.
begging my Master to let me cum.
i closed my eyes. pinched my clit hard. heard Him say "Cum for me pet"
and i did. hard. long.
I was bucking, shaking for a long time after.
Cumming again when i pulled the vibe out.

It took a while to recover.
i laid there in a puddle of my cum.
my ass still filled.
i rolled back on my side, grasped the end of the plug, pulled a little as i pushed it from my body.

i am getting worked up and horny writing this.
i believe i will try out the last remaing toy...the bigger plug.
maybe that with the flogger.

That sounds like a wonderful idea.

Toys Pt. 3

i love the UPS man.
He brings me things that make me scream, in pleasure, in pain.
Make me quiver, shiver and cum.
Add to that having the house to myself...well, i had a a hell of an afternoon.
i opened the box quickly...understatement...
Brought them out one by one.
Swirled glass butt plug. Shorter then what i have now, but wider.
Black glass butt plug. Wider then the swirled one.
Pink Evolved vibrator.
Thigh high stockings.
Bull nose nipple clamps.
and finally the black and red flogger.
Oops...well...ah hell...there was one other thing.
If i can't be honest and forth coming on my own blog, where can i be?
i got an anal douche.
Yup. so i can be squeaky clean for his use and for when i play with my plugs.

Wow.

i washed everything.
i stripped.
i picked up the clamps.
my nipples were already hard.
i attached one to my left nipple...and detached it quickly.
sharp pain. something i don't want to experience alone.
my next toy to try out was the flogger.
i am so curious about this...i softly whipped it against my arm. then my stomach. harder on my thigh.
harder still on my tits...a that point my knees went weak and i began to shake.
Instead of going for the vibe or plugs...i went for the anal douche.
i filled a cup with warm water.
filled the bulb, attached the sleeve to the tip.
Laid on my side.
Lubed my anus.
Lubed the tip.
And i pushed it all the way in.
And i squeezed.
And i LOVED it.
so much that i filled myself four more times.
i felt it in my ass. i felt it in my tummy.
Held it for as long as i could and expelled the water.
Pushing that in my ass, making myself hold it...i felt so very submissive and so fucking turned on.
This will have to be continued...unfortunately life gets in the way of play.

Answers

i asked.
i am physically unable to let something linger and fester.
And you know what? i'm better for it.
i know now.
Where i stand.
What to expect.
Am i happy with the response.
No.
i had hopes, i had expectations.
Both have been dashed.
But for now, i have fun. i enjoy. i take it for what it is.
All the while looking for what is best for ME and moving forward.
i will sleep better tonight.