Trader Joe's Peppermint Pretzel Slims

I've avoided buying these every year because I couldn't imagine liking them. To be sure, I love TJ's Pretzel Slims. And I love peppermint. But together? No. Ew.

I was correct. I had several at Nina's house the other day. They just seemed...off. Put the "creamy coating and peppermint sprinkles" on something else--a big marshmallow, say, or a maraschino cherry--and I'd probably think you a culinary genius. But on a pretzel? No. It's too clashy.

On the other hand, there's Nina: "I love them." "Delicious." "I could eat a hundred of these."

De gustibus, etc.


Will I buy it again? 



via GIPHY

Trader Joe's Oven-Baked Cheese Bites With Black Summer Truffle

Trader Joe's has, inexplicably, taken one of their best products and contaminated it with foul bits of revolting truffle. Selling these should be a crime, as they constitute an adulterated food product.

Now, if you ask Nina, you'll get an entire different story. She will tell you that these are not only delicious, but a big improvement on the original. She will explain that it took enormous willpower not to chow down the entire bag in one sitting. It's hard to understand how she is so right about some things (like taste in boyfriends) and so wrong in others (like taste in cheesy snacks).


Will I buy it again? 


via GIPHY

Trader Joe's Ketchup Flavored Spud Crunchies

These are just like the original Spud Crunchies, but with a coating of ketchup flavor--and yes, they really do taste like French fries dipped in ketchup, which is the proper way to eat them.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. I like them even more than the original.

Trader Joe's Peel Away Fruit Leather Buttons

OK, "fruit leather buttons" is definitely a thing I had never heard of or imagined before spotting this trio on the new-products shelf at the Asheville TJ's.

Here's what you get:

I'm not sure why they chose to package these in a manner awkwardly reminiscent of strips of cheap condoms, but nobody asked me.

Once you get past that, you have thin, chewy disks of fruit leather. Other than the unusual shape, the substance is like any other fruit leather.

I liked both the plain mango and the mango-strawberry. But the mango-grape was off; there was surprisingly little grape flavor, and what there was seemed to clash with the mango.


Will I buy it again? 

No. On the rare occasions that I feel like getting something in this general category, it would be one of TJ's several flavors of dried fruit bars. I have a few in my cupboard right now.

Trader Joe's Peppermint Bark Popcorn

This is some weird stuff. Mixing chocolate and peppermint is perfectly standard, of course. But adding caramel to that is unusual. And it takes a mad food scientist to decide to throw all of that on top of popcorn.

It's not bad, but it's strange. I don't think the flavors and textures work well together; I find the whole experience kind of jarring and dissonant. But Nina loves it, even though she's not usually big on chocolate and peppermint. Go figure.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Except maybe as a stocking stuffer for Nina next year.

Trader Joe's Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips--Chili & Lime Flavored

I started seeing notes on Twitter about this product a couple of weeks ago, every one of which was along the lines of, "OMG! Trader Joe's has its own Takis now and they're fabulous!"

I could tell just from the name of the product that I would surely like it. But I had never heard of Takis. I looked it up and learned that they make a bunch of different flavors of rolled tortilla chips, and that this new TJ's item is a close match to the most popular one, called "Fuego."

Sadly for me, a couple more trips to my local TJ's failed to turn up this hot (in more ways than one) new thing. But last night, Nina presented me with a bag. Lately it seems that her TJ's runs are more fortuitously timed than mine.

They are fabulous, just as everyone was saying. They're powerfully flavored, with both the chili and the lime being ramped up to 11. They're perfectly fried, making them super crunchy without being at all brittle, with that unpleasant sensation of pieces flying off everywhere. Even if they were unflavored, they would be extremely satisfying to bite into.

Nina was offering me some new dip to go along with these chips. I never even tried it. First, the shape of these makes them less than ideal vehicles for scooping up dip. But more importantly, they were just so damn good by themselves that I didn't want to alter the experience.

Sitting down to write this review, I wondered if there were any dissenting voices. I found three other reviews online so far--here, here, and here. No dissenters; they are all enthusiastically cheering the arrival.

I agree. This is a sure-fire hit, and so good it's being inducted into my Top Ten list.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes yes yes yes yes. It's one of the rare items that's going on all three of the lists that I keep in the upper-right corner: buy again, staples, and top ten. I think it's going to be one of the handful of TJ's snacks that I keep on hand nearly all the time.

Now place your bets on which other flavors in the Takis lineup TJ's will rip off next. Maybe the chili and cheese?

Trader Joe's Big Soft Pretzels

I'm not sure if the name of this product is supposed to be "Big Soft Pretzels" or "Soft Big Pretzels." Either way, the name is not a lie; they're both big and soft. And they taste good.

They're prepared with just a few minutes in the oven. Alternatively, you can just let them thaw, but getting them hot out of the oven is so obviously superior that I can't recommend that choice.

The big problem, as I see it, comes in the application of the salt. There is a packet of large-grained salt included, but I found it impossible to get the right amount on. Getting the salt to stick requires spritzing the pretzel with water, which I just could not get applied evenly. Every time I prepared one, it ended up with either too much or too little salt--and sometimes both, with sections of too much and too little. All three outcomes were annoying and disappointing.


Will I buy it again? 

No.

Trader Joe's Pretzel Slims

I didn't really hold out much hope for these being good. I was wrong. In fact, they're excellent. Full of pretzel flavor, delightfully crunchy, eminently snackable, even addictive. They could use just a little more salt, but that's my only complaint.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes indeed. I don't think this product is quite Top Ten material, but it's definitely going to take a place in my regular rotation of salty snacks.

Trader Joe's Spicy Cheese Crunchies

These are just like the Baked Cheese Crunchies, but hotter. They are not kidding about the "spicy." Chew up a couple and swallow, and a few seconds later you'll be hit with the peppery aftertaste. (I tried to figure out what kind of pepper they use, but the list of ingredients doesn't specify anything beyond "natural flavors.")

Personally, I think they took it a little bit too far, and the munchability factor would be improved by dialing back the heat by about 25%. But Nina loved them--to the point that she had to command me to take them away, lest she eat the whole bag.


Will I buy them again? 

Yes. I think they can be an occasional part of the snackage lineup around here.


Addendum, 5/28/18

I got to like them more and more, after getting used to the heat factor. Will definitely be getting them again.

Trader Joe's Seed & Bean Medley

This absolutely lives up to its claim of being crunchy and salty. In fact, if the crunchiness and saltiness here are not enough for you, I don't think you have anywhere left to turn short of going down into a rock-salt mine and gnawing on the walls.

The corn is huge, just like the Giant Peruvian Inca Corn. I also loved the chickpeas and fava beans. The edamame was OK. I thought the dried peas were an inspired addition, but there were very, very few of them to be found, sadly.

The biggest weakness is the pumpkin seeds. Subjectively, I just don't care much for them. Objectively, they're vastly overrepresented here--like nearly half of the volume.


Will I buy it again? 

Undecided. If it weren't for those darn pumpkin seeds, it would be a definite yes. I'll have to ponder whether the good half of the bag is worth putting up with--or wasting--the half I didn't like.

Trader Joe's Baked Churro Bites

My only previous life experience with churros is the Trader Joe's Mini Cinnamon Sugar Churros. These new "bites" are nothing like those, except in having a strong cinnamon-sugar flavor. What they remind me of most is cinnamon toast--heavy on the sweetened cinnamon. I like them, but it's purely because of that flavored coating, not because of what lies under it.

My understanding is that traditional churros are fried dough, not baked corn puffs. It seems to me that they've named this wrong. I would have called them "Cinnamon Toast Nuggets." That would be both more accurate than "churros" and, I think, more appealing.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes.

Trader Joe's Milk Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels

Following the #TraderJoes hashtag on Twitter, I of course see what brand-new products catch people's attention. But I also see which older ones people express their undying love for--and this is one of the most frequent in that category. So I finally tried it.

I can't join the chorus of fans. The milk chocolate is nice, but the pretzel is just a thin shell between the chocolate and the peanut butter. And the peanut butter is, well, solidified, not creamy. I assume they have to sort of desiccate it in some way to keep its oils from soggifying the pretzel, but the result is that there's nothing "butter" about it.


Will I buy it again? 

No. Did not like.

Trader Joe's Organic Coconut Sesame Seed Clusters Snack

This is a new product; see Trader Joe's own description of it here.

But that's not how I learned of its existence. I learned of it when Nina brought me an empty bag--with apologies. She had intended to eat just half and leave the rest for me to try, but found it so deliciously addicting that she couldn't stop. So I bought my own.

It's pretty good, but I didn't flip for it the way Nina did. It's kind of just crunchy bits of toasted coconut. The sesame seeds are pretty, but I can't tell that they add anything in terms of taste. The whole thing is pretty heavily sweetened, which I thought was its biggest flaw.


Will I buy it again? 

Not for myself, but now I know that I can get Nina to do anything I want by holding a bag of this stuff in front of her.

Trader Joe's Bamba Peanut Snacks

Following the #TraderJoes hashtag on Twitter, I learn about a lot of new products before I spy them on the shelves at my local store. But once in a while, a new product really stands out in terms of both the number of people tweeting about it and the level of their enthusiasm. This is the latest such. It seemed obvious that TJ's had a major hit on their hands, even before I had seen a bag with my own eyes.

The hype continued with an unusual number of news/feature stories on a wide variety of web sites, which came to my attention from an ongoing Google News alert service. From these I've learned that:

• Contrary to its usual practice of secrecy about its suppliers, TJ's allowed the Israeli manufacturer of the original Bamba to announce that, yes, they're the ones making this, and it is the same product in a different bag. I assume that this was because the original is so popular that TJ's wanted to capitalize on its fame, and not have people worry that it was an inferior knockoff. 
• About 90% of Israelis buy Bamba regularly; it is by far the most popular snack food there. 
• There is some evidence that the Israeli practice of introducing Bamba to their kids at a very early age contributes to an unusually low prevalence of childhood peanut allergies there. 

The universal description of the product is that it's like cheese puffs (e.g., the baked version of Cheetos), but peanut instead of cheese. That's pretty accurate.

And how are they? They're great--extremely tasty, just the right amount of salt, incredibly munchable, with a lovely, delicate crunch. They're instantly addictive.


Will I buy them again?

Oh, yes. Even after just one bag, I'm confident these are going to be a new staple in my snack cupboard. They're also the newest member of my Top Ten list.

Trader Joe's Spud Crunchies Potato Snacks

The comparison to French fries is so inevitable that it's right there on the front of the package: "A chip crunch in a fun fry shape." Imagine the texture and taste of the crispiest McDonald's fries--the little brown ones in the bottom of the bag--with the shape and color of the standard fries. Now imagine that served at room temperature. That's what you've got here.

I expected that I would not much care for these, because cold French fries are not a thing that brings me pleasure. But they somehow manage to transcend being just cold fries. I think the unexpectedly crunchy texture compensates in some weird way for them not being hot. (I suppose one could add a little microwave heat, but that didn't occur to me until the bag was empty.)


Will I buy it again? 

Yes--in fact, I bought two more bags on my last TJ's run. I liked them a lot more than I thought I would. But they need to come in a much bigger bag. There's just not enough here. Think potato-chip size bag, Trader Joe's.

Trader Joe's Peanut Butter Protein Granola

This is one of the many, many items that I have purchased solely because they show up on the new-product shelf at Trader Joe's, and writing this blog means trying virtually anything there (except for things I know I'll hate, which I don't bother with).

It turned out to be one of those occasional pleasant surprises--a thing I like without having expected to. It's a great mix of crunchy and chewy, sweet and salty. I'm not a granola guy, so I haven't tried more than a few varieties in my life, but this is easily the best I've ever had.

My only complaint is that, while the clusters are easy to pick up and pop in your mouth, probably a third of the bag was just crumbs. There's no easy way to eat those.


Will I buy it again? 

Yes. On the days that Nina comes over to my place for dinner, I typically don't eat breakfast or lunch, but I need a little sumpin' to tide me over, and this is pretty much an ideal filler. I think it's going to be a snack I'll always keep on hand.


Addendum, October 31, 2017 

I have eaten two more bags of this, and now have three more in my cupboard. It has quickly become one of my all-time favorite snacks. I'm elevating it to Top Ten status.

Trader Joe's Cornbread Crisps

As you might guess, these are cracker-sized morsels of crisp cornbread. They magically combine the distinctive taste of cornbread with the texture of thick crackers.

It's an unusual combination, one that I've never heard of before. And it works; they're quite tasty.

I'm not sure what their optimal usage is, though. They're OK to just munch on by themselves, but it seems that something is missing. I tried using them to dip into some Chipotle Black Bean Dip, and that didn't seem quite right. Further experimentation will be required. Maybe with some of TJ's nice queso?


Will I buy it again? 

I'm not sure. It depends on whether I can figure out their place in my snacking universe.

Trader Joe's Breaded Mozzarella Cheese Sticks

These are exactly what you'd expect from the photo on the front: Mozzarella cheese with a little batter coating to hold them together and provide a little spice and contrasting texture. They're very much like ones I've had in restaurants.

By themselves they're a little bland. But a dip in some marinara sauce brings them to life nicely.


Will I buy it again? 

Nice late-night snack, but for the calorie and fat load, I would usually enjoy other cheeses more. Still, I think an occasional indulgence will be in my future.

Trader Joe's Oven-Baked Cheese Bites

I have found Nirvana, and it's been in the snack aisle of Trader Joe's.

You know how when you bake a casserole with cheese on top, and the cheese at the edges gets baked hard and crunchy and it turns out to be the best part of the whole dish? Well, some culinary genius in Italy has figured out how to manufacture just those crunchy cheese bits without bothering with the whole casserole. And they've sold the result to Trader Joe's.

Hear me well: This is the best snack food I've ever had from TJ's. Perfect flavor. Perfect texture. Perfect saltiness.

It's so damn good that after eating one bag, I never want to be without it in my life. It is simultaneously going on my "buy again" list, my "staples" list, and my "Top Ten" list.

If this product were a dog, it would get a 14/10 from We Rate Dogs. H*ckin cheesy af. Would eat endlessly. They're good snacks, Brent.

My cat usually likes sharing bits of cheese that I'm eating. Oddly, she sniffed at but would not eat a small piece of one of these Cheese Bites that I broke off for her. But, y'know, she's a cat--what the hell does she know?

I am going to eat these until I have a heart attack, and then when I'm in the hospital, I'm going to demand that they grind more of them up into a powder and put them in my IV line.

Now that I know how good a snack can be, if this item is ever discontinued, I shall lose the will to live, and be obliged to find the highest tower in the land from which to hurl my miserable self.


Will I buy it again? 

Away with such foolish questions.

Trader Joe's Dry Toasted Pignolias (Pine Nuts)

See here for a bit about the term "pignolia" and the culinary uses for pine nuts. This is my first experience with them, so I can't compare this particular TJ's preparation with any other pine nuts. But I find that I like them as a salad topping. They taste much like peanuts, but somewhat sweeter. These have no salt (or sugar) added, but they don't seem to need it as badly as peanuts do.


Will I buy it again? 

After finding that I liked them, I thought the answer to this would be a straightforward yes. They make for a cheap, easy, and tasty way to add some protein to a green salad. But then I looked more carefully at the nutrition information on the back. One 1/4-cup serving gives 4g of protein--but 20g of fat. Fat delivers 9 calories per gram; protein 4. So you're getting 11 calories from fat for every 1 calorie from protein here. This puts the brakes on my plans to have pine nuts be a regular staple of my salads. I think, then, that I'll put this item in my "occasional purchase" category.