Number 1 on the 5.

After spending a wonderful holiday with family, Lindsay and I drove back home via the 5 freeway. We ate little chocolates and took in the wonderful smells of live cattle.

Half way into our trip, Lindsay accidentally dropped a big hunk of chocolate.

It fell right in that unreachable abyss underneath the seat.

We couldn't risk melted chocolate under the seat, so we pulled off the freeway.

In the middle of nowhere there was a black SUV parked just off the road.

The driver of the SUV was smiling at us.

I was getting a strange vibe.

 The shoulder to right was way too rocky to pull over so my only option was to pull up behind the weirdo in black SUV.

We had no idea when we pulled up to the rear of his car

 We would see the

REAR OF HIS WIFE!

His wife bending over to pee was this far away.

But it felt this far away.

She quickly realized she had an audience.

I tried to look everywhere but the pale white cheeks in front of my face.

I'm sure Lindsay would've liked me to just drive away and avoid any further humiliation, but my legs were paralyzed. I'm like a possum that way.

The woman screamed and jumped in her car without getting her pants up all the way.

I saw in the side view mirror, her husband laughing like a mad man.

 They drove off.

"Do you want to get that chocolate before it melts."