ORD LO

I did my last R call on 28 January 2019. It was a fairly uneventful R2 where I was not holding the code phone.

Just sayin'

;)

Car Accident

On the 21st of May 2015, I was involved in my first ever car accident. I know what your next question is, was I post call? And the answer is unfortunately a resounding Yes. The circumstances of the accident were ambiguous though, since it was not clear who was at fault. Having gotten legal advice, I surmise that the distribution of blame would have been 50-50.

I was driving on a three lane road and was trying to change lanes from from the fast lane to the middle lane. The other party was trying to cut in from the first lane to the middle lane. Before I knew it, it was a JBB (jababoom, as my friend R would exclaim) and my bumper was left hanging off my car. Thankfully no one was hurt! To make matters worst, my smart phone had died from being on call the night before and I was left without a camera to document the damage. Thankfully the crash occurred just outside my mum's house and she happened to be at home! (It was a Thursday and she is usually at work on Thursdays) Things could have been far far worse. Made a few calls to my FIL who does legal work for accident claims and decided that it would probably be in everyone's interest to settle. My mum came to save me and after some negotiation, we agreed on a settlement and I sent my car for repair. Within a day and a half, my car was back to its spanking new state. The repair uncle was super cute also, and advised me on how to deal with the other party. He told me that I had to have it in "black and white" that we had agreed on a settlement. I had originally written some vague SMS but he scolded me and told me to write the following word for work:

"Dear Mr XX, this is to confirm that YOU will settle your own car repairs, and I will settle my own car repairs. Please reply to confirm."

The uncle's response was more than hilarious.

HAHAHAHA. I'm not sure if that would stand in the court of law, but it was good enough for me.

With that, I was set back a bit by the car repairs (servicing uncle threw in free car polish!) but had a good laugh and learnt about how to deal with a car accident. As my mother says, just part and parcel of growing up. Will I still drive post call? Well...no more calls to drive from in a long time! :)

4 May 2015

Saturday July 2012. I was still a houseman. I clearly remember seeing his gangrenous fingers from the three ionotropes he was being supported on. The stumps of the bilateral BKAs that he had undergone in a life-saving measure. My patient died not long after. I remember thinking to myself, it might as well have been a blessing, compared to having had to wake up to no more feet left.

My call two nights ago was a heart wrenching one. Into the OT as one whole, and out with an AKA stump. I was not sure if he knew, when he woke up from the anaesthesia. He was trying to say something, but I was not sure if I could bear to answer. Gram negative bacteremia announced its arrival later that morning. Then there were two little six and seven year olds sobbing by the bedside of their father, whose body was slowly growing cold from the call of death.

On days like this, I feel like medicine can be so great, but so helpless all at the same time.

Thrombectomy

People are clearly mistaken when they say that Neurology is not life saving.

On my last call I saw how sharp decisiveness and prompt action transformed a NIHSS from 22 to 1! Incredible :D

On call delivery

So last night I had a happy meal delivered to me while I was on call. SJ had decided to make spaghetti bolognese...from scratch! As with most things that he puts into a pan, it was yummy!

Warmed my poor little hungry stomach on call. :) 

Pseudoseizures

Short notes before bedtime

Pseudoseizures 

Placebo effect

Living is over rated 

Cancer is over rated

Short lists but watching your back

Learning! 

Clearly post call. Good night. 

Fail

I feel like purely for patient safety, I should just not go on doing this. Terribly inept.

On call

Bad things always happen on call

Remembering hemoptysis. DNR. ROSC. Max BIPAP.

A good physician knows what to do, a wise physician knows what NOT to do.

What have I done?

#thatawkwardmoment

...when it is 3am on call and you are assisted by 2 senior staff nurses having difficulty catheterizing a precious transplant patient having gross hematuria in an isolation room where there is pindrop silence...

...and your stomach decides to announce that you skipped dinner.

D:

Hemoptysis

The day it happened, I looked down at my hands and could almost see blood stains. Blood stained hands. We think that as doctors we are saving lives, doing the right thing, make people better. Yet we often forget that not doing the right thing is tantamount to harm. It struck me how great the expanse of medicine was, and how little I knew in this open sea.

I guess I was somewhat afraid to talk about it. It brought back memories of that crazy intense sense of self disappointment the moment that the senior on the line hung up. But I also knew that talking almost always made things better. Coming to terms with reality and sharing the lesson would lesson the load, hoping that somewhere someone somehow might benefit from this near miss of mine.

Two more weeks till the end of my rotation in General Medicine and I had a sit down evaluation with Dr R just yesterday. Beyond all that paper work and assessment and stuff, Dr S's advice continually resonates in my commitment to work ethic - to have pride, interest and ownership in all that I do. Somewhat ?looking forward to my next rotation in General Surgery where it will be mad and busy and all, but also looking for a breath of fresh air after the past 2 very stifling months (in retrospect so thankful I used up all my leave during this period!!). 

First Call

Just so I don't forget, I was on HO2 Gen Med call on the 3rd of May.