Sunday, November 20, 2011

It just occurred to me that the next 3-4 months of waiting for the 'A' level results are going to be insanely bad. I'll just freaking out over all the mistakes and the possibility of not getting my As, not that I was expecting straight As from the beginning... But it's still disappointing. I just had a dream that i got 49/100 for my dissertation. For some strange reason it was about uniforms. Sounds exactly like the H2 French entrance exam...

4 more papers and it'll finally be over. While I do want to know my results as quickly as possible, there's something about the 'A' levels that make me not want to know. Unlike other exams, this one is going to determine my life. *depressed*

Wesley at 8:15 AM

Monday, November 7, 2011

It's so scary how it feels like I've lived my life just for this moment. It's so hard to believe how the next month could very well determine the rest of my life (and once again I conveniently leave French out of the equation). I've already completed all my French papers and I can do nothing but hope that I've done well. I'm honestly not confident of getting straight As thanks to GP and French, but oh well, there's nothing I can do.

Good luck to me (and anyone else reading this blog haha)!

Wesley at 8:21 PM

Monday, June 6, 2011

I wonder whether I'm stretching myself too thin. I seem to want to do so many things and I can't even handle what I already have to do. I guess I always believed in not putting all my eggs in one basket, but right now I have so many baskets I can't even take care of all my eggs anymore. Everything is getting pretty disastrous. My grades are bound to die, my French and GP are horrendous, my violin is a disaster, I'm not improving on my piano at all, I'm even failing at games like minesweeper and maple.

I'm probably pushing myself too hard, believing too much in 'if someone else can do it, why can't i?'. Wonder what I should do now...

Wesley at 8:24 AM

Monday, May 9, 2011

SYF 2011: Gold w/ Honours <3

:D :D :D

It's certainly been a vastly different experience compared to RIGE 2 years ago. I feel very musically stimulated/challenged in RJCO. Haha. There are indeed a lot higher standards, expectations, and with it naturally comes more pressure and stress. But I'd say I enjoyed this experience a lot more. With a lot better company too. Seriously, a lot better. Many thanks to both Tanbo and Xianyue! Really privileged to be part of these two fantastic sections of CO :D Hehe, no one else can claim to be part of 2 sections :D :D Special mention to Snao and yh! Hehe. Extra special mention to chairman Sng :D For being my closest friend and such a wonderful teacher and conductor and chairman :O So multi-talented :O *clap clap*

-happy-

Wesley at 9:49 PM

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Wesley at 11:17 PM

I wonder how many posts in a row I've spent angsting about my inadequacy at everything. Hmm...

Well, this is going to be another one of those posts. I think I'm really terrible at the zhonghu. And now with assessments and all... I just hate this feeling that the assessors (...sz and yh...) are just being nice to me because I'm a pretty close friend. But sigh, I guess sz is right in saying that I'm expecting too much from myself when I'm not even putting in an equal amount of effort. Bleh. I bet I would've failed assessments even more anyway if I were left in daruan because I can't lun. Lol. I'm such an epic failure at CO. Jack of all trades, master at none. Sigh.

Enough of that I suppose, now to rant about academics. I'm epic failing at French and GP! And I'm not putting any effort in these two subjects either...then again, I don't think I've ever put in enough effort for anything. I think I'm so used to not putting in any effort for my studies and doing decently, that I've gotten too complacent with myself. I've barely 6 months to go... Sigh. I really have no idea what to do with my future. I have no idea what I want to beeeeeeee ):

I should really think more happy thoughts.

Wesley at 8:15 PM

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Hehe. This birthday has been pretty awesome. I'd like to thank everyone for their well wishes and gifts and cakes and everything :D Thank you Frenchies, Sng Zheng and CO :D I found it quite funny how everything became octopus based. Hehe. THANK YOU ALL :D

And I got A for PW! Guess that was a pretty good gift to get on my birthday too. Haha. But I think that it's quite sad that my closest friend in class didn't get an A ): Sigh. So depressing. Ah well. NAPFA was...not so good but decent I guess. Got a silver because i was 13 seconds too slow for 2.4 ): So sad. I find it amusing that I increased my pull-ups from 1 last year to 11 this year. Hehe. (No I'm not trying to suan anyone. I really just find it amusing D: )

Recently, I've been pondering about how my future would be like, what profession/career I could possibly take up. It's been really depressing though. I feel like a jack of all trades but a master at none, which makes me feel so inferior. Yea, everyone says I'm super smart because I have the grades, and I'm super talented because I can do so many things like play musical instruments and whatnot...but really, all those doesn't even amount to anything. I'm not particularly exceptional in any of the instruments which I play. (I'll seriously just slap anyone who says otherwise BECAUSE IM SERIOUS THAT IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH) My grades...won't really get me anywhere that I want to be. I don't even know what I want to be. I want to do something that involves traveling around the world, has a good pay, and is something I enjoy. Sigh. I always thought I'd end up doing engineering based on my subject combination, but I realised that it isn't really the type of job for me. I also want something that's not so routine, something's that's more dynamic and exciting. Am I just asking for too much?

Rawr.

Wesley at 9:23 PM