Sure, some days are like this:
Peaceful and happy and full of laughter. They've even started playing together. A lot:
But we have just as many days like this:
Awhile ago (early 2013 I believe) I found this personality trait quiz that you take for your children. It was very eye-opening! In fact, I had taken the same one at work before Bean was even born (here's a link to something similar). Here are the results for Bean. She is an INJ which means she is introverted, intuitive and judging. I'm posting the entire results here for my benefit down the road, so feel free to glance over it--I'll keep my writing a different color (it's kind of long...)
INJ Traits
They have vivid imaginations
They're curious about everything, and are always asking "Why?"
They enjoy spending time one-on-one with others, rather than in large groups
They're often off in their own world, and have a dreamlike quality
They enjoy art and music
They love books, and especially enjoy fiction
They're likely to hang back and watch before participating in a social situation
They're intensely private, and don't always share their thought and feelings
They like structure and are unsettled by chaos or unplanned events
They prefer sports that focus on individual performance rather than team sports
They are perfectionists
They're serious and intense
They often seem older than they are, and may have older friends
They are original and independent, and value their uniqueness
They're not overly concerned with grades, but they want to completely understand a subject that interests them
Potential Strengths
They're usually very intelligent
They can grasp the big picture easily
They can see any far-reaching consequences of their actions
They're very resourceful
They are extremely creative and imaginative
They easily come up with good ideas
They're usually well-liked by their peers
They will completely master a subject that interests them
Their desire to be in control of themselves makes them take responsibility for their actions
They are usually confident in their ideas, and know instinctively when they are right about something
Potential Weaknesses
They have short attention spans
They get bored easily with details or routine tasks
They won't put any effort into doing something that doesn't interest them
They frequently don't hear people
Once they have made up their mind about something, they can be very stubborn about it
They ignore details
They are unsettled by change, and don't usually adapt well to new situations
They're uncomfortable and somewhat overwhelmed by large groups
They are rather unaware of their environment, and seem "out of it"
They are rather self-centered, and may be unaware of how their actions or words affect others
They can be controlling and bossy
Although they come up with ideas easily, they don't do as well implementing their ideas
INJ Learning Style
INJs are extremely curious and intellectual children who need a wide variety of mental stimulation. When they are interested in a subject, they will naturally want to know everything about it. Teachers should be prepared to point INJ children towards sources where they can learn more about the subject.
INJ children don't do well with tasks that require following prescribed steps in a plan or rote memorization. They find these kinds of things extremely boring, and they will resist doing them. They also don't like to do things repetitively. Once they have done something once, they are done with it and want to move on to the next thing. To keep things interesting for the INJ, teachers should give them the basic theory and the desired outcome, and let them figure out how to get there on their own.
Teachers should realize the INJ's weakness of not always being aware of their environment, and recognize that if an INJ didn't hear the teacher, it doesn't necessarily mean that they weren't listening. Sometimes the INJ's private world overtakes the INJ to the point that they completely tune out their environment. As much patience as possible should be shown with this characteristic. INJs will develop some control over this as they grow older.
INJs love to come up with ideas, and naturally want to put their ideas into some kind of structure or plan. They want to do this on their own, with little or no direction. They highly prize their ideas and their competence at performing their projects, and are threatened by someone giving them too much direction. This is almost an insult to the INJ, who bases a great deal of their self-esteem on their independence.
INJs thrive doing independent projects that require creativity, such as science projects or writing projects. They will probably not enjoy group projects as much, although they are likely to be fine working with one partner on a project.
Answer the INJ's many questions as thoroughly as possible. If you don't know the answer to a question, be honest and tell them that you don't know. Offer possible avenues for discovering the answer, such as library research.
Present the rules and expectations clearly and consistently. INJs naturally crave structure and order. Although they don't want to be told exactly how to do something, they need to understand any rules clearly.
INJ Special Needs
INJ children need a good amount of time alone. They get most of their energy from within themselves and their rich imaginations, so they need adequate time alone to recharge their batteries. After a long day of school, the INJ may head to their room to spend some time alone. Respect this need of your child's, and understand that once they have spent time alone they will be ready to interact with you. Don't push them to be around yourself or others until they have spent some quality alone time. An INJ who doesn't get the chance to spend any time alone will be irritable, cranky and tired.
INJs who have made up their minds about something can be quite stubborn and unwilling to compromise. When faced with an INJ who has "dug in their heels" about something, take some time to present them with clear and valid alternatives to their way of thinking. This will help the INJ to not become overly rigid, pompous and unbending in their views.
Socially, pre-teen INJ's are usually fairly reserved and may be intimidated by large numbers of people. They like to watch for awhile before participating. It's best not to push the INJ to interact socially before they are ready. Allow them to watch first, and jump in when they want to. If you are a very extraverted or gregarious adult, don't expect the same behavior your INJ child. INJs usually prefer to interact with one person at a time, and enjoy having a couple of close friends rather than a number of acquaintances. As the INJ gets a bit older, he or she will probably become more social. In the meantime, understand that your child is probably uncomfortable with large groups of people, and don't make them feel guilty for that fear. If your child is afraid of walking into large social situations alone, you might arrange to walk in with your child, or have your child go to the event with a friend.
Too many suggestions or feedback on a project while it is still going on may interfere with the INJ's creative energy. Much of the interest in actually doing the project comes from the INJ's drive to prove their inner visions and independence. Any "interference" from the external world will confuse the INJ, and it may cause them to doubt themselves or their idea. In any event, it will usually cause them to lose interest in the project and abandon it. It's probably best to wait until an INJ's project is finished before commenting.
Talk through their ideas with them one-on-one. This will help the INJ to put their ideas into context within the external world. The INJ doesn't naturally have a high awareness of how their intensely personal visions fit into the world. Getting them into the habit of talking through their ideas while they are young will help them develop the ability to apply their ideas realistically and effectively.
Now HERE is where I think it gets interesting...
The "Missing" Letter
Adult personality types have four letters, while for children aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is 13 years old. INJ kids will grow up to be either INTJ "Scientists" or INFJ "Protectors". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Thinking or Feeling to complement their Intuition preference. You will see the child practicing both Thinking and Feeling as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.
That quiz I took at work put me as an INTJ! So all along as I've thought I'm raising a mini-me, it's probably more true than not!
Anyway, of course now I had to take one for Boy. Keep in mind that he was significantly younger when I took this.
Baby Personality Quiz
What can you expect for your baby? He will be very popular. He will not have any problems making friends. He is fun, optimistic, and full of energy. He may not be the most organized person but he thinks well on his feet. He likes to see everyone get along and may meddle in other people's relationships in his attempt to keep the peace. He is outgoing and not afraid of meeting new people. In school, he is likely to be in the drama club, on a sports team, or involved in the yearbook committee. He enjoys socializing and he may be everyone's best bud and confidant. He likes to give out advice even though his advice is not always the best. Even though he is very popular, he is very insecure. He likes to be praised by others and will seek out people that give his attention.
He will likely pursue a career working with people. He would be miserable if he had to work in a cubicle with nobody to talk to. He may be indecisive when picking a career. He may try more than one job before he settles on one he likes. Career choices may include waiter, journalist, teacher, health professional, stockbroker, or sales representative.
My jaw dropped when I read these results! Boy sounds so much like S! S has always been way more extroverted than I ever was. He has no problem talking to people. And his career choice--well, I think the above sums up a firefighter pretty well!
Of course these kiddos might very well surprise us and up being completely different than we 'predict', but what a fun thing to raise them and see their little personalities evolve!
