FML.

i think it's pms time again.

it has been a rather long time since i got so upset, almost tearing on my bus journey back, thinking and reflecting about my own life, my friendships etc.

as much as i'd like to be fair, sometimes i just can't. i'm really very disappointed. i guess people have to realise that life doesn't just revolve around their own decisions - their decisions affect the lives of other people around them too. sometimes it feels like i'm trying too hard, and begging people to get a response.

why am i on the losing end again? in the first place, why the hell am i in this situation?

i guess to many others, it's just a freaking stupid little thing. i am angry, but what can i do. i have a feeling i'm creating a mountain out of a molehill again. and that's why i dun want to talk to people about this.

how did i become so hateful? how did i become so sick of the world? i feel like re-living my entire life again. i am perhaps not the most unfortunate person around, but there's really nothing to look forward to, i have nothing under my name, there's no one i want to spend my life with, what kind of life should i be leading then? i'm just stuck in the middle, muddling through life, following the tried and tested ways - living my life just like how others want and expect me to live it. why do i have to work so hard to obtain a life that i dun even want?

i'm so used to abandonement - even my own family can do that to me. how then can i expect so much of others? damn it, why is it so hard to get some true love and concern? even love from one's family seems to be conditional on some other yardstick - money. so, is there nothing more important than that in this world?

for the first time, i'm gonna say, FML.

所有的灯 早已经全都熄灭