i just kept reading and re-reading that para - the para that provided me some sort of closure, as jun suggests.
"I guess we didn't talk as much as the year went by and sometimes some part of me still regrets it. "
it was one part of a million questions in my head since a year ago.
but thanks. you could never imagine how bothered i was over the whole issue. you got it answered today.
for the other questions, i guess maybe i will never get them answered. but it's ok. i believe time will heal all wounds.
though my belief was shaky today cos again, i sank into it, this time less deep. i shall climb up slowly.=)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
lessons were intensive, with the start of all tutorials this week. tutorials were a bit sian, but overall still fine. had to do homework after so long lar. not used to it. but i shouldn't be complaining. sooo many other people have so many other commitments. and i'm just a slacker.
dinner with uni people on thurs at suntec sakae sushi. quite cool lar. thursday is like our official lunch and dinner day!=)
returned to rj today for teachers' day, with no present, no card. while jun was talking to teachers, i was just a gen pi chong lor. heh. only teachers i saw were ms hor, mrs wong, etc. not many prob remember me i guess.
while i was slacking at home, benedict suddenly msged and said that he saw me on tv! on eating AGAIN! i dunno how many times they actually play lor. random friends just come up to me and said they saw me on tv, at different times since a few years ago! ironic thing is, i haven seen the prog before!
suddenly so many pri sch people i (re-)know. i wonder why is it possible for someone in a different class as me for p school actually still remember me. then another person just came up to me and asked if i was from khs. then there's brent too. and shanchun talked to me online last night too. PLUS i'll be meeting zl very often cos we've planned to have study sessions. wah siao.
was listening to the album licoln they all did. saw it at zl's place. well cant say it's good but it's all in the name of charity. meaningful!
jt fldew to taiwan a few days ago, then he asked me if i wanted anything from there. quite nice.=) but seriously poor thing. 33 days of torture leh.=X
congrats to lingzi, brent, shaun, michael, nuan ting for getting into mc!=) quite happy for all of them, though i'm not exactly very close to them. but it's ok.=)
and yong'an said he wont read the blog if he cant find his name. so hopefully his eyes are sharp enough now!=P
and yes, i'm so sleepy i cant think straight alr.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
tired.
it's getting a little tiring switching personalities these days.
it's like one moment i'm in school chatting happily with my newly-made friends, and then, once i'm alone, i start thinking about a lot of things. like on the long bus journeys to and fro school.
at 19, we're expected to be strong and not appear vulnerable in front of others. we're expected to know where we're heading in our lives and pursue the things that we like. we're expected to grab all possible opportunities to shine or to make our resumes nicer. we're expected to know what we're doing and not let people worry anymore. so many expectations, and i'm tired of having to keep up with all these.
and you know, these days i've been thinking about my own existence. does my existence make any difference at all? i really dunno. it's a question i've been asking myself since eons ago. i'm a useless and lazy bum at home. i'm a slightly above average student with no motivation to work harder, to excel in the stuff i'm doing, or even to enrich myself with knowledge or experiences. i'm a friend whom, unless you are a close friend of mine, will not go all out to help others when they're in trouble.
i'm even tired of always playing a supporting role to my friends, and even my family. and you know how such supporting roles always do not get the appreciation.
i'm tired of being alone all the time. you know sometimes i wish i could have a friend by my side all the time so i can share all my experiences? but i know it's impossible. nobody lives for me, so i just have to learn to be independent.
but everything's so hard. hard to get a close friend, hard to find people you connect with, and nowadays even harder to be happy.
i'm never an optimistic person, but now i think i've become more pessimistic.
i just can't help but think i'm such a lousy person. and there's only one wish i would make right now, if i even have the chance to.
it's like one moment i'm in school chatting happily with my newly-made friends, and then, once i'm alone, i start thinking about a lot of things. like on the long bus journeys to and fro school.
at 19, we're expected to be strong and not appear vulnerable in front of others. we're expected to know where we're heading in our lives and pursue the things that we like. we're expected to grab all possible opportunities to shine or to make our resumes nicer. we're expected to know what we're doing and not let people worry anymore. so many expectations, and i'm tired of having to keep up with all these.
and you know, these days i've been thinking about my own existence. does my existence make any difference at all? i really dunno. it's a question i've been asking myself since eons ago. i'm a useless and lazy bum at home. i'm a slightly above average student with no motivation to work harder, to excel in the stuff i'm doing, or even to enrich myself with knowledge or experiences. i'm a friend whom, unless you are a close friend of mine, will not go all out to help others when they're in trouble.
i'm even tired of always playing a supporting role to my friends, and even my family. and you know how such supporting roles always do not get the appreciation.
i'm tired of being alone all the time. you know sometimes i wish i could have a friend by my side all the time so i can share all my experiences? but i know it's impossible. nobody lives for me, so i just have to learn to be independent.
but everything's so hard. hard to get a close friend, hard to find people you connect with, and nowadays even harder to be happy.
i'm never an optimistic person, but now i think i've become more pessimistic.
i just can't help but think i'm such a lousy person. and there's only one wish i would make right now, if i even have the chance to.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
procrastinating...
i watched two movies in two days, quite shiok huh. haha. and i realised a mistake in my questionaire. the last movie that i watched as of then wasn't Secret, it was Simpsons.
anw i watched evan almighty last night, and then 881 today. two very different genres of movie - one made me laugh a lot, and the other made me laugh and cry at the same time (i realised a lot of local movies are capable of making me do that. maybe it's how i can relate to the msg that these local movies are trying to bring across.
evan almighty was hilarious. the plot was a lil...strange, but it just made me laugh a lot, esp when the animals were running around. dong was laughing at me when i was laughing at the scene when the baboons were carrying the wood around. it was seriously funny wat.=X actually the only thing that i took away from the movie was how if you have no control over what is going on in your life, you just gotta trust that things will turn out fine.
some quotes that i liked from 881:
"if i don't have a dream/can't fulfil mine, then i'll help others fulfil theirs."
"the quietest people have the most secrets"
"i am like the sun, you two are like the moon and stars. i must be bright enough so that the two of you can shine better." ling jie's response to xiao mu gua's (small papaya) question on why she always appears so happy all the time.
the quotes aren't the exact quotes of cos, but the meanings are there. teared at some parts. always like watching shows with a mixture of singlish, mandarin and hokkien. it's so simple and easy to understand. heh. i am so cheena man.
have been meeting my uni friends for 3 straight days (not including lessons of cos). thurs some of us met for lunch, simple lunch but was quite entertaining. yong'an kept insisting you will get some aftertaste if you drink water after you eat banana, and he kept making me believe in it. and he keeps bluffing me i tell you i really wont believe him anymore.
anw, after our lessons, some of us went to buy tb, then went pizza hut for dinner. also another amusing time. farah challenged dong, then in the end dong ended up drinking some tobasco mixed with cheese and chilli flaks. haha. and dong sent andy, farah and i home! so shuang you know, to have friends with cars.=P
then had driving ytd. mr james said my driving was good ytd so yay! finally learnt parallel parking, so that means my 'syllabus' is done. i'm actually quite scared for my driving test. there are always so many small little things that i forget to do during lessons. hai ah well.
went jogging and died after 2 rounds round my house area lar. so sad. but it was quite sunny so i supposed that killed my energy. was happy i went jogging though. it's my only form of exercise for now. went out to meet farah and dong in orchard. i was quite late, but andy and yong'an were even later. they got lost in orchard.-_-. haha. then jon michael and shaun joined us after that. watched evan almighty till 11 plus then headed home.
watched 881 with mum just now. finally went out with her. haha. but we came home straight after that.
just received a msg saying michael's house party is cancelled.=X
i should really stop thinking so much about the friendship issues and just enjoy myself. do what i want and enjoy.=) and maybe lower my expectations of my friendships in uni.=X
havent started doing any of my tutorials! bro and mum keep scolding me for going out so often. hai. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard.
haha i bet you must be thinking i'm crazy already.
anw i watched evan almighty last night, and then 881 today. two very different genres of movie - one made me laugh a lot, and the other made me laugh and cry at the same time (i realised a lot of local movies are capable of making me do that. maybe it's how i can relate to the msg that these local movies are trying to bring across.
evan almighty was hilarious. the plot was a lil...strange, but it just made me laugh a lot, esp when the animals were running around. dong was laughing at me when i was laughing at the scene when the baboons were carrying the wood around. it was seriously funny wat.=X actually the only thing that i took away from the movie was how if you have no control over what is going on in your life, you just gotta trust that things will turn out fine.
some quotes that i liked from 881:
"if i don't have a dream/can't fulfil mine, then i'll help others fulfil theirs."
"the quietest people have the most secrets"
"i am like the sun, you two are like the moon and stars. i must be bright enough so that the two of you can shine better." ling jie's response to xiao mu gua's (small papaya) question on why she always appears so happy all the time.
the quotes aren't the exact quotes of cos, but the meanings are there. teared at some parts. always like watching shows with a mixture of singlish, mandarin and hokkien. it's so simple and easy to understand. heh. i am so cheena man.
have been meeting my uni friends for 3 straight days (not including lessons of cos). thurs some of us met for lunch, simple lunch but was quite entertaining. yong'an kept insisting you will get some aftertaste if you drink water after you eat banana, and he kept making me believe in it. and he keeps bluffing me i tell you i really wont believe him anymore.
anw, after our lessons, some of us went to buy tb, then went pizza hut for dinner. also another amusing time. farah challenged dong, then in the end dong ended up drinking some tobasco mixed with cheese and chilli flaks. haha. and dong sent andy, farah and i home! so shuang you know, to have friends with cars.=P
then had driving ytd. mr james said my driving was good ytd so yay! finally learnt parallel parking, so that means my 'syllabus' is done. i'm actually quite scared for my driving test. there are always so many small little things that i forget to do during lessons. hai ah well.
went jogging and died after 2 rounds round my house area lar. so sad. but it was quite sunny so i supposed that killed my energy. was happy i went jogging though. it's my only form of exercise for now. went out to meet farah and dong in orchard. i was quite late, but andy and yong'an were even later. they got lost in orchard.-_-. haha. then jon michael and shaun joined us after that. watched evan almighty till 11 plus then headed home.
watched 881 with mum just now. finally went out with her. haha. but we came home straight after that.
just received a msg saying michael's house party is cancelled.=X
i should really stop thinking so much about the friendship issues and just enjoy myself. do what i want and enjoy.=) and maybe lower my expectations of my friendships in uni.=X
havent started doing any of my tutorials! bro and mum keep scolding me for going out so often. hai. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard. i must work hard.
haha i bet you must be thinking i'm crazy already.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
success!
last 3 days have been good cos i met jun for 3 consecutive days!
monday: cycling at east coast + sending vi-zanne off
it's been such a LONG time since i cycled, and it feels so good to just cycle along east coast at night cos there are so few people around. we were talking as we cycled, and i really enjoyed it. it's times like these when i really miss the good old days cos it's just so simple to be happy like this. we were talking about so many things, and what i'm happiest about is really how we can just confide in each other in almost everything under the sun. i'm really so so lucky to have met you. and east coast has so many of our memories!
tuesday: school + crashing rj with xinling and jun
went to school for mkt lecture, then persuaded xinling to go back to rj with me.=) it was also real good to just stay around in rj, talk to juniors, talk about how slack we are now, and of cos talking to my buddies to make sure they are still sane. saw both my grandbuddies too though we didnt get to talk.=X oh well though i doubt they'll read this, i really hope for the best for all of them mugging hard for As, not gonna be easy but hang in there!
wednesday: sending bonkie off + lessons + kangya's bday surprise!
econs was....useless, so was gps cos i didnt understand a single thing! politics so isnt my thing. ah well.
some photo update!
xiuwen!! this was during rag day actually. we had ahsayuni dinner.=)
ethel and xiuwen! 3/5 of the people who went to gz and hk.=D
at the airport when vi-zanne left. she transitted in s'pore from 11pm to 5am (what an unearthly time huh), so there were so few people there only. jun, xiuwen, vi-zanne, huiqing, josie and jonny.
jun and bonkie at the airport when bonkie left!
oh man. i was tearing a lil when she went in. both jun and i were late lar. good thing we managed to catch her. and while rushing there, i tripped over the escalator twice! got some minor scraping of the skin on my shin.=X so super paiseh lar. really hope she'll be happy there.=)
on to kangya's bday surprise! i was there earlier, so i asked the thai express people if they could help us surprise ky. went to buy a cake and passed the cake to them. ky came a lil later. while we were eating, some bday song played in the background and then we saw some other person celebrating her bday! so we continued waiting, and soon after that, the bday song played again! and the person brought the cake over to her.=) she got a pleasant surprise.=) she kept saying we are good actresses, without knowing what's in store for her.=P
kang with her bday cake at thai express.=D
3 of us!
after thai express, we wanted to go esplanade to TAKE PHOTOS. so we walked along the river, passed by the flyover, and suddenly, we saw this on the floor.
i didnt really expect it, but kang got a shock when she saw this!!heh. nice huh.=)
then she thought it was done by jun and i, and she didnt expect some people to be looking from some benches nearby. she was telling everybody how jun and i were making comments throughout the night that made her not suspect anything at all. =D that's the point rite, got a mini-surprise, then a bigger one at the end.
the 25ths who were there. yowie, cedric, darren, kang, jun, bryon and josie.
then came the few random friends. clarissa, jocelyn and daryl yeo joined in.=)
the whole group of us minus yowie who left early to book in.
clarissa! my study buddy during Os. she's ever so hilarious and bubbly.
bryon. look at his expression lar. the nicer and normal ones are in his cam!
after a while, we rearranged the lightsticks to this.
bday girl!!! really miss talking to you. and i'm wearing green!!! =P
and we left the place looking like this:
HAHA! there were some couples who walked by and couldnt stop laughing. heh
jocelyn's mum sent cedric and i to eunos mrt and clar to tanah merah. yay! at least we didnt take ages to go home. heh.
and i'm supposed to have left for school today, but yf's cabbing down so i decided to just get a ride too.=) haha. makes a lot of difference in the timing lar.
4 hrs of lectures today, and i can finally come home early today to sleep early, though i doubt i'll do so. tmr will be driving and tuition, and hopefully doing of my tutorials. back to my routine life liao. sian.
still thinking about ccas. hai. can i just let go and be a slacker? i have no idea. and i really wonder how my next 5 years of uni life will be like. doesnt seem to be going quite right for me right now. can't really foresee me enjoying myself. hai. i really shouldnt think so much.
monday: cycling at east coast + sending vi-zanne off
it's been such a LONG time since i cycled, and it feels so good to just cycle along east coast at night cos there are so few people around. we were talking as we cycled, and i really enjoyed it. it's times like these when i really miss the good old days cos it's just so simple to be happy like this. we were talking about so many things, and what i'm happiest about is really how we can just confide in each other in almost everything under the sun. i'm really so so lucky to have met you. and east coast has so many of our memories!
tuesday: school + crashing rj with xinling and jun
went to school for mkt lecture, then persuaded xinling to go back to rj with me.=) it was also real good to just stay around in rj, talk to juniors, talk about how slack we are now, and of cos talking to my buddies to make sure they are still sane. saw both my grandbuddies too though we didnt get to talk.=X oh well though i doubt they'll read this, i really hope for the best for all of them mugging hard for As, not gonna be easy but hang in there!
wednesday: sending bonkie off + lessons + kangya's bday surprise!
econs was....useless, so was gps cos i didnt understand a single thing! politics so isnt my thing. ah well.
some photo update!
xiuwen!! this was during rag day actually. we had ahsayuni dinner.=)
ethel and xiuwen! 3/5 of the people who went to gz and hk.=D
at the airport when vi-zanne left. she transitted in s'pore from 11pm to 5am (what an unearthly time huh), so there were so few people there only. jun, xiuwen, vi-zanne, huiqing, josie and jonny.
jun and bonkie at the airport when bonkie left!
oh man. i was tearing a lil when she went in. both jun and i were late lar. good thing we managed to catch her. and while rushing there, i tripped over the escalator twice! got some minor scraping of the skin on my shin.=X so super paiseh lar. really hope she'll be happy there.=)
on to kangya's bday surprise! i was there earlier, so i asked the thai express people if they could help us surprise ky. went to buy a cake and passed the cake to them. ky came a lil later. while we were eating, some bday song played in the background and then we saw some other person celebrating her bday! so we continued waiting, and soon after that, the bday song played again! and the person brought the cake over to her.=) she got a pleasant surprise.=) she kept saying we are good actresses, without knowing what's in store for her.=P
kang with her bday cake at thai express.=D
3 of us!
after thai express, we wanted to go esplanade to TAKE PHOTOS. so we walked along the river, passed by the flyover, and suddenly, we saw this on the floor.
i didnt really expect it, but kang got a shock when she saw this!!heh. nice huh.=)
then she thought it was done by jun and i, and she didnt expect some people to be looking from some benches nearby. she was telling everybody how jun and i were making comments throughout the night that made her not suspect anything at all. =D that's the point rite, got a mini-surprise, then a bigger one at the end.
the 25ths who were there. yowie, cedric, darren, kang, jun, bryon and josie.
then came the few random friends. clarissa, jocelyn and daryl yeo joined in.=)
the whole group of us minus yowie who left early to book in.
clarissa! my study buddy during Os. she's ever so hilarious and bubbly.
bryon. look at his expression lar. the nicer and normal ones are in his cam!
after a while, we rearranged the lightsticks to this.
bday girl!!! really miss talking to you. and i'm wearing green!!! =P
and we left the place looking like this:
HAHA! there were some couples who walked by and couldnt stop laughing. heh
jocelyn's mum sent cedric and i to eunos mrt and clar to tanah merah. yay! at least we didnt take ages to go home. heh.
and i'm supposed to have left for school today, but yf's cabbing down so i decided to just get a ride too.=) haha. makes a lot of difference in the timing lar.
4 hrs of lectures today, and i can finally come home early today to sleep early, though i doubt i'll do so. tmr will be driving and tuition, and hopefully doing of my tutorials. back to my routine life liao. sian.
still thinking about ccas. hai. can i just let go and be a slacker? i have no idea. and i really wonder how my next 5 years of uni life will be like. doesnt seem to be going quite right for me right now. can't really foresee me enjoying myself. hai. i really shouldnt think so much.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
some questionaire. i'm bored.
1. Were you smiling when you woke up this morning?
nope. i looked at the clock and of cos i won't smile.=X
2.When was the last time you met someone new?
bizad orientation?
3. When did you last eat pizza?
day before jun's bday i think.
4. Do you drink beer?
VERY seldom. cos i have a very bad experience.
5. Do you wash your own clothes?
yeah, sometimes when i need to wear and my mum hasn't gotten it washed.
6.Are you any good at poker?
err dun think so.
7. What do you want more than anything?
hmm for me to know only.=)
8. Are you tired?
mentally or physically? ok i think i'm tired both ways.
9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
err my photo albums?
10.Pepsi or Coke?
neither.
11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
nope.
12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
err no...
13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
macs.
14. Are you restless?
not really. my attention span can be quite long if i want to.
15. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
laptop.
16. How many friendster views do you have?
18
17. Want to be a prince/princess?
hmm. dun think so. i dun like people to plan out my life for me.
18. Do you believe dreams come true?
i dun believe in it, but neither do i think it's untrue. just gotta see if my dreams do come true. haha.
19. Last song you heard?
i can't remember actually. i last listened to my ipod ytd afternoon.
20. Do you like Batman?
i dun even watch it.
21. Who is in the room with you?
no one.
22. What are you wearing on ur feet?
nothing.
23. What was the last thing you ate?
some pork floss bread.
24. What were you doing before this?
checking my emails.
25. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
my pencil case.
26. In your opinion what is the weirdest thing listed on goofysicons.com?
err?
27. What instant messaging service do you use?
msn.
28. What is your favourite website?
no favourite lar. maybe most frequented? that's facebook i guess.
29. Whose house were you at last night?
airport can't be considered a house rite.
30. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
jeans.
31. What is the last movie you watched?
secret (bu neng shuo de mi mi)
32. What do you currently hearing right now?
i'm not listening to any music.
33. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
in june i think.
34. Where's your favorite place to be?
where my close friends are, anywhere can be a favourite.
34. Have you ever heard of the band Our Lady Peace?
nope.
35. Where do you sleep?
my room?
36. Where do you shop at most?
wah tough question. maybe city hall area. used to be orchard.
37. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
haha from rgs buckle?
38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
neither.
39.How did you chose your url?
i just wanted to be a lil chim. so i went to an online translator. haha.
40. Why did you pick your background?
i didnt really pick it. i just wanted a very simple background. and even if i want it to be nice, i dunno how to. i'm almost it illiterate.=X
41.Are you happy with where you are?
hmm i guess i shud be? but not really deep down.
42. Do you believe love at first sight exists?
it prob does. but you can only prove it exists when you experience it yourself wat.
43. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
yeah. anniversaries are part of memories, and we should remember how everything started.
44.Do you believe that you can change someone?
yeah. but harder as one grows up.
45. What are you going to do after you do this survey?
change and go to school. haha.
i think there are two 34s. haha. i'm so bored lar seriously. haha.
nope. i looked at the clock and of cos i won't smile.=X
2.When was the last time you met someone new?
bizad orientation?
3. When did you last eat pizza?
day before jun's bday i think.
4. Do you drink beer?
VERY seldom. cos i have a very bad experience.
5. Do you wash your own clothes?
yeah, sometimes when i need to wear and my mum hasn't gotten it washed.
6.Are you any good at poker?
err dun think so.
7. What do you want more than anything?
hmm for me to know only.=)
8. Are you tired?
mentally or physically? ok i think i'm tired both ways.
9. Besides your bed, what is your favorite thing in your room?
err my photo albums?
10.Pepsi or Coke?
neither.
11. Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
nope.
12. Do you enjoy piercings and tattoos?
err no...
13. Taco Bell or McDonald's?
macs.
14. Are you restless?
not really. my attention span can be quite long if i want to.
15. Is your computer desktop or a laptop?
laptop.
16. How many friendster views do you have?
18
17. Want to be a prince/princess?
hmm. dun think so. i dun like people to plan out my life for me.
18. Do you believe dreams come true?
i dun believe in it, but neither do i think it's untrue. just gotta see if my dreams do come true. haha.
19. Last song you heard?
i can't remember actually. i last listened to my ipod ytd afternoon.
20. Do you like Batman?
i dun even watch it.
21. Who is in the room with you?
no one.
22. What are you wearing on ur feet?
nothing.
23. What was the last thing you ate?
some pork floss bread.
24. What were you doing before this?
checking my emails.
25. What is the closest item near you that is blue?
my pencil case.
26. In your opinion what is the weirdest thing listed on goofysicons.com?
err?
27. What instant messaging service do you use?
msn.
28. What is your favourite website?
no favourite lar. maybe most frequented? that's facebook i guess.
29. Whose house were you at last night?
airport can't be considered a house rite.
30. What do you wear more, jeans or sweatpants?
jeans.
31. What is the last movie you watched?
secret (bu neng shuo de mi mi)
32. What do you currently hearing right now?
i'm not listening to any music.
33. When did you last buy a new pair of pants?
in june i think.
34. Where's your favorite place to be?
where my close friends are, anywhere can be a favourite.
34. Have you ever heard of the band Our Lady Peace?
nope.
35. Where do you sleep?
my room?
36. Where do you shop at most?
wah tough question. maybe city hall area. used to be orchard.
37. Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
haha from rgs buckle?
38. Coach Purse or NFL game tickets?
neither.
39.How did you chose your url?
i just wanted to be a lil chim. so i went to an online translator. haha.
40. Why did you pick your background?
i didnt really pick it. i just wanted a very simple background. and even if i want it to be nice, i dunno how to. i'm almost it illiterate.=X
41.Are you happy with where you are?
hmm i guess i shud be? but not really deep down.
42. Do you believe love at first sight exists?
it prob does. but you can only prove it exists when you experience it yourself wat.
43. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries?
yeah. anniversaries are part of memories, and we should remember how everything started.
44.Do you believe that you can change someone?
yeah. but harder as one grows up.
45. What are you going to do after you do this survey?
change and go to school. haha.
i think there are two 34s. haha. i'm so bored lar seriously. haha.
Monday, August 20, 2007
when small things make a huge difference.
i think today has been a good day out of many so-so days, though i really didn't do much.
helped zl with econs and a little bit of chem at mp library. you know it feels so different studying and teaching. i can actually ENJOY what i was teaching him, while i remember being so troubled over everything one year ago.
he was being such a gentleman, small things like opening doors, letting me walk first, giving me the choice of where to eat, to slightly bigger things like treating me to snacks, to bigger things like sending me home even though that meant he had to pay more for a bus trip to my house and after that a cab home. he's so different now from the time i last studied with him in sec four. and we can converse a lot more naturally now. or so i feel.
and also, jt was so funny he told me about how he dropped his mushroom when i msged him cos his phone vibrated in his pocket. and after that, he told me it was a lie just to make me smile. sounds a lil stupid but really quite sweet of him. he said he likes making people smile. and he agreed to treat me.=D haha.
and doreen agreed to help me buy textbooks if she sees any in school! even though i'm not going to school with her, and even though the books might be quite heavy. thank you!=D
i actually MUGGED in mp library today! not much lar, but i read through my notes at least! gosh first time i actually read through my notes before lesson. haha. good thing i agreed to teach zl actually, if not i prob wont get down to mugging. next week i shall bring more stuff so i have more things to do!=)
ok a lot of small things made me a lil happier today. might really sound so insignificant, but these are the things that really make my days worth living for.=)
helped zl with econs and a little bit of chem at mp library. you know it feels so different studying and teaching. i can actually ENJOY what i was teaching him, while i remember being so troubled over everything one year ago.
he was being such a gentleman, small things like opening doors, letting me walk first, giving me the choice of where to eat, to slightly bigger things like treating me to snacks, to bigger things like sending me home even though that meant he had to pay more for a bus trip to my house and after that a cab home. he's so different now from the time i last studied with him in sec four. and we can converse a lot more naturally now. or so i feel.
and also, jt was so funny he told me about how he dropped his mushroom when i msged him cos his phone vibrated in his pocket. and after that, he told me it was a lie just to make me smile. sounds a lil stupid but really quite sweet of him. he said he likes making people smile. and he agreed to treat me.=D haha.
and doreen agreed to help me buy textbooks if she sees any in school! even though i'm not going to school with her, and even though the books might be quite heavy. thank you!=D
i actually MUGGED in mp library today! not much lar, but i read through my notes at least! gosh first time i actually read through my notes before lesson. haha. good thing i agreed to teach zl actually, if not i prob wont get down to mugging. next week i shall bring more stuff so i have more things to do!=)
ok a lot of small things made me a lil happier today. might really sound so insignificant, but these are the things that really make my days worth living for.=)
Saturday, August 18, 2007
the effect of loneliness...
shall start off with some photos.
was bathing my rabbits just now, and cutting their toenails. they always look stuned after bathing them. haha.
them immediately after their baths, with tiki over kiki.
both of them staring into the mirror. they made the whole mirror super wet lar.
tiki looking stunned even after putting them back in the balcony. nice fur huh. haha.
kiki. everyone in my family keeps scolding her. haha poor thing. but have you ever heard of rabbits making sounds? she's so hostile that whenever we reach for the food plate, she'd rush to the hand and tries to bite it.=X most of us have been her victims.=X
and council gathering during national day at zain's house.
i'm quite glad i get to stay home on this windy afternoon.
the past week has been so-so (sorry i can't find a better word than this=X), nothing to be happy about, yet no reason for me to be upset. here's a brief summary:
mon: driving
tues: lessons + tuition
wed: lessons + tuition
thurs: late lunch with og (which caused us to be late for our lecture) + lessons
fri: driving + jam and hop
jam and hop was not as good as expected i guess. not like i was planning to go crazy in zouk, just that the atmosphere was rather dead. 4 of us met up for dinner (3 girls, doreen farah and i were late for more than 30 mins each, and poor andy was just walking around while he waited for us.=X), met christine, took a bus to zouk, watched the pageant (which ended rather fast), sat around, explored zouk, took a look at the ultra crowded phuture, and we decided to go home after that. it was 11.45pm. when i came home, bryon saw me coming online, and he went, "where got people only club until midnight go home". haha. pls bear in mind i'm not a clubber, and i really dislike such occasions. i was only there to support bizad, and to a certain extent the pageant.
saw a few familiar faces there. like zhenghan, who went there purely to support ying ying, and saw daniel chin whom i have no idea why he went. thought i saw some 405 people too. and it was so stupid, when we took photos, i was SUPER red in the photos! must be the vodka lime.=X but others were fine. hai i'm so lousy lar.=X so yeah, that was my 2nd clubbing experience. clubbing is never a pleasant experience in any case. haha.
when i was at zouk, jun's mum called me. i was quite shocked. she asked if i was with jun and whether i know where she is.=X in the end i msged some people and gave them a panic attack. but in the end, good thing we found out where she was, and she reached home rather soon after that. jun gave me a call after that too. no matter what, it was good knowing she was fine.=)
during the week, weijie msged me too, and asked if i wanted to meet up. haha. quite nice lar he. i nv really thought i'd have 'friends' from bosch, but in the end turned out i still see caiyu and now msg weijie so long after i stopped working there.
i'm quite glad that bro is much happier now. a changed person indeed.=)
some bizaders are at camp now. cos they're gonna run for bizad club mc. was seriously considering running for it at first, after brent asked me and tried to persuade me to go for it. in the end, i decided i won't run for it, for a number of reasons.
firstly, most people running are raggers. they all went for foc, and they all know a lot of people in biz, including seniors. this would definitely put people like me at a disadvantage. not only will i not know many people running, i MIGHT also be outcasted.
secondly, was talking to meryl and yong'an before that. conclusion i got was that the club is very exclusive, not very well-liked, and play a lot of politics. totally not the kind of place i'd want to be in. of cos it might be different, but to a certain extent, i dun wanna be in that situation in uni. meryl was encouraging me to run for a position, to in a way improve things in the club, but i guess one person can't do much. and if the rep of an organisation is already so fixed in people's minds, it's hard to change their views, like council. i'm not saying it's impossible, it's just tough, in one year.
thirdly, sad as it may sound, i'm quite jaded from leadership positions, and also from TRYING for leadership positions, esp the campaigning part. i guess one experience is enough. though maybe one may say one becomes more polished after more leadership experiences, i somehow am tired of putting myself in such situations anymore. i'm not very passionate about it, i dun have perfect info about the club, i dun have good friends running. even if it's for one year, it's not worth screwing up my studies for, just like in jc.
and so i decided to slack more in school, and be a passive bizader. i told brent and meryl though, that i wont mind being events planner. i really dun mind. i just dun want my commitments to be so long-term anymore. i'm feeling quite bad actually, not to have any cca, cos i have nv slacked in school before. for now, i shall just sit and wait for opportunities.=X oops.
meeting zl to help him with As tmr. then another cycle of lectures start again. next week sounds a lil more exciting though. heh.
my uni life prob doesn't sound too bad thus far huh. but i kinda still feel quite lonely. sometimes i guess everyone at some point or other will feel such loneliness, like nobody understands you, like you have nobody you can really rely on. that's how i'm feeling right now. i feel like i'm trying so hard to make friends in uni, and it's all so unnatural. it's really not because of the people i've met, it's just me i suppose. it's my own stupid self wondering why things can't be better. it's me not wanting to step out of my comfort zone.
but sometimes, i'm amazed at how people can just go around like they're so close to everyone else. i envy them you know. i can nv bring myself to be friendly to people i haven even talked to for 10 sentences.
it's so funny how i'm still talking about all these at the age of 19. it sounds so much like sec sch talk, when you're still trying to find your own self. i guess i'm really not that bad at socialising, as quite a few people have told me, but i just dun like it. i seldom hear of people not liking socialising and making new friends, esp in biz. so weird isnt it. even my bro is better at it now than me.
was bathing my rabbits just now, and cutting their toenails. they always look stuned after bathing them. haha.
them immediately after their baths, with tiki over kiki.
both of them staring into the mirror. they made the whole mirror super wet lar.
tiki looking stunned even after putting them back in the balcony. nice fur huh. haha.
kiki. everyone in my family keeps scolding her. haha poor thing. but have you ever heard of rabbits making sounds? she's so hostile that whenever we reach for the food plate, she'd rush to the hand and tries to bite it.=X most of us have been her victims.=X
and council gathering during national day at zain's house.
i'm quite glad i get to stay home on this windy afternoon.
the past week has been so-so (sorry i can't find a better word than this=X), nothing to be happy about, yet no reason for me to be upset. here's a brief summary:
mon: driving
tues: lessons + tuition
wed: lessons + tuition
thurs: late lunch with og (which caused us to be late for our lecture) + lessons
fri: driving + jam and hop
jam and hop was not as good as expected i guess. not like i was planning to go crazy in zouk, just that the atmosphere was rather dead. 4 of us met up for dinner (3 girls, doreen farah and i were late for more than 30 mins each, and poor andy was just walking around while he waited for us.=X), met christine, took a bus to zouk, watched the pageant (which ended rather fast), sat around, explored zouk, took a look at the ultra crowded phuture, and we decided to go home after that. it was 11.45pm. when i came home, bryon saw me coming online, and he went, "where got people only club until midnight go home". haha. pls bear in mind i'm not a clubber, and i really dislike such occasions. i was only there to support bizad, and to a certain extent the pageant.
saw a few familiar faces there. like zhenghan, who went there purely to support ying ying, and saw daniel chin whom i have no idea why he went. thought i saw some 405 people too. and it was so stupid, when we took photos, i was SUPER red in the photos! must be the vodka lime.=X but others were fine. hai i'm so lousy lar.=X so yeah, that was my 2nd clubbing experience. clubbing is never a pleasant experience in any case. haha.
when i was at zouk, jun's mum called me. i was quite shocked. she asked if i was with jun and whether i know where she is.=X in the end i msged some people and gave them a panic attack. but in the end, good thing we found out where she was, and she reached home rather soon after that. jun gave me a call after that too. no matter what, it was good knowing she was fine.=)
during the week, weijie msged me too, and asked if i wanted to meet up. haha. quite nice lar he. i nv really thought i'd have 'friends' from bosch, but in the end turned out i still see caiyu and now msg weijie so long after i stopped working there.
i'm quite glad that bro is much happier now. a changed person indeed.=)
some bizaders are at camp now. cos they're gonna run for bizad club mc. was seriously considering running for it at first, after brent asked me and tried to persuade me to go for it. in the end, i decided i won't run for it, for a number of reasons.
firstly, most people running are raggers. they all went for foc, and they all know a lot of people in biz, including seniors. this would definitely put people like me at a disadvantage. not only will i not know many people running, i MIGHT also be outcasted.
secondly, was talking to meryl and yong'an before that. conclusion i got was that the club is very exclusive, not very well-liked, and play a lot of politics. totally not the kind of place i'd want to be in. of cos it might be different, but to a certain extent, i dun wanna be in that situation in uni. meryl was encouraging me to run for a position, to in a way improve things in the club, but i guess one person can't do much. and if the rep of an organisation is already so fixed in people's minds, it's hard to change their views, like council. i'm not saying it's impossible, it's just tough, in one year.
thirdly, sad as it may sound, i'm quite jaded from leadership positions, and also from TRYING for leadership positions, esp the campaigning part. i guess one experience is enough. though maybe one may say one becomes more polished after more leadership experiences, i somehow am tired of putting myself in such situations anymore. i'm not very passionate about it, i dun have perfect info about the club, i dun have good friends running. even if it's for one year, it's not worth screwing up my studies for, just like in jc.
and so i decided to slack more in school, and be a passive bizader. i told brent and meryl though, that i wont mind being events planner. i really dun mind. i just dun want my commitments to be so long-term anymore. i'm feeling quite bad actually, not to have any cca, cos i have nv slacked in school before. for now, i shall just sit and wait for opportunities.=X oops.
meeting zl to help him with As tmr. then another cycle of lectures start again. next week sounds a lil more exciting though. heh.
my uni life prob doesn't sound too bad thus far huh. but i kinda still feel quite lonely. sometimes i guess everyone at some point or other will feel such loneliness, like nobody understands you, like you have nobody you can really rely on. that's how i'm feeling right now. i feel like i'm trying so hard to make friends in uni, and it's all so unnatural. it's really not because of the people i've met, it's just me i suppose. it's my own stupid self wondering why things can't be better. it's me not wanting to step out of my comfort zone.
but sometimes, i'm amazed at how people can just go around like they're so close to everyone else. i envy them you know. i can nv bring myself to be friendly to people i haven even talked to for 10 sentences.
it's so funny how i'm still talking about all these at the age of 19. it sounds so much like sec sch talk, when you're still trying to find your own self. i guess i'm really not that bad at socialising, as quite a few people have told me, but i just dun like it. i seldom hear of people not liking socialising and making new friends, esp in biz. so weird isnt it. even my bro is better at it now than me.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
looking back..
so many people are being so emo these days that it has somehow gotten to me too.
firstly zl when he started telling me about his ex after 2 years of not keeping in contact.
last night i was talking to 2 emo people at the same time. sort of made me quite sad too.
inferiority complex. when will it stop haunting me. and others too.
when you have something that you dun wanna let people know, would you tell at least one close friend about it?
when things have come to a point when you really can't tahan anymore, would you explode on everyone or suffer a breakdown on your own?
jt asked me today, arent you sad you lost a good friend? that made me think through a lot of stuff once again.
i wonder if i was right in telling him about it. but i guess what's done cant be undone.
i'm looking back...
when i sat in the lt today, i thought of how 6h used to just sit there and talk non-stop, and for those not talking, some are sleeping. the rest are stoning. only the same few will keep taking notes.
when everyone was talking to each other before the lecture today, i remembered how in so many instances, i kept standing at the sides being such a loner.
when i was talking to some of my og mates today, i remember the times i kept suaning and making fun of people. somehow that made me happy. somehow that's the way i hide myself to avoid awkward convos.
when jt msged me, i kept thinking about whether it was right of me to distant myself. i wondered if my actions hurt her, that's why she's treating me like that now.
when i was jogging on monday night, i thought of how i could have made my uni life so much better, and also how i struggled physically to cope with the many things in jc.
when bro told me about the 'good news', i thought about how 'lonely' i felt and will feel once again. (good thing his lasik went well today.=))
when i was on my way home from tuition, i thought back on how things were like in the past. when there was a constant companion to go home with everyday, when someone would be waiting no matter how late trainings ended, when i could msg about totally random stuff without feeling like i'm disturbing someone, when someone would remind about medications when i was sick, when someone would remind someone else to make me eat, when..... the memories came haunting me.
i guess i shouldn't keep looking back. after all i've already entered a new phase of my life. and this phase will last for 5 years. i shud be glad at least i have those memories, whether good or bad, to teach me impt life lessons and in a way enrich my own life.
sometimes i hate myself for simply not trying hard enough, for being such a coward. i look at people around me and wonder why is it i cant be like them. i just want something i can really hold on to and treasure it.
firstly zl when he started telling me about his ex after 2 years of not keeping in contact.
last night i was talking to 2 emo people at the same time. sort of made me quite sad too.
inferiority complex. when will it stop haunting me. and others too.
when you have something that you dun wanna let people know, would you tell at least one close friend about it?
when things have come to a point when you really can't tahan anymore, would you explode on everyone or suffer a breakdown on your own?
jt asked me today, arent you sad you lost a good friend? that made me think through a lot of stuff once again.
i wonder if i was right in telling him about it. but i guess what's done cant be undone.
i'm looking back...
when i sat in the lt today, i thought of how 6h used to just sit there and talk non-stop, and for those not talking, some are sleeping. the rest are stoning. only the same few will keep taking notes.
when everyone was talking to each other before the lecture today, i remembered how in so many instances, i kept standing at the sides being such a loner.
when i was talking to some of my og mates today, i remember the times i kept suaning and making fun of people. somehow that made me happy. somehow that's the way i hide myself to avoid awkward convos.
when jt msged me, i kept thinking about whether it was right of me to distant myself. i wondered if my actions hurt her, that's why she's treating me like that now.
when i was jogging on monday night, i thought of how i could have made my uni life so much better, and also how i struggled physically to cope with the many things in jc.
when bro told me about the 'good news', i thought about how 'lonely' i felt and will feel once again. (good thing his lasik went well today.=))
when i was on my way home from tuition, i thought back on how things were like in the past. when there was a constant companion to go home with everyday, when someone would be waiting no matter how late trainings ended, when i could msg about totally random stuff without feeling like i'm disturbing someone, when someone would remind about medications when i was sick, when someone would remind someone else to make me eat, when..... the memories came haunting me.
i guess i shouldn't keep looking back. after all i've already entered a new phase of my life. and this phase will last for 5 years. i shud be glad at least i have those memories, whether good or bad, to teach me impt life lessons and in a way enrich my own life.
sometimes i hate myself for simply not trying hard enough, for being such a coward. i look at people around me and wonder why is it i cant be like them. i just want something i can really hold on to and treasure it.
Monday, August 13, 2007
school is starting...
i'm supposed to be back in reality after a few days of mild madness. heh.
have been away from home for the last 2 days too. parents have been complaining but heck. it's really our last few days of freedom before school officially starts.
rag was ok i guess, except we all were like bbq-ed under the sun. and bizad won! damn cool. we didn't win all the smaller shields, and we were quite sad. when they announced us as overall winners, we really just jumped and screamed and went crazy. heh.
saw caiyu and afterwards jun at rag. they were all crashers lar. haha. when the whole thing ended and doreen and i were about to leave, yong'an and jonathan was so funny. we were like, "eh well done.". they replied, "we wouldnt have won without all your support lar. thank you thank you." haha. they were just trying to push the credit to us and make us happy, so i was seriously laughing like mad when they were doing that. entertaining bunch lar.
met ahsayunians after rag. went nyny for dinner and ate the carbonara there again. heh. of cos it didn't disappoint. stayed there till like 10pm, where the place was quite empty, then we left to go cartel for dessert. and guess who i saw? the raggers! that includes quite a lot of my og mates btw. when they were about to leave cartel, they came over to my table, and said, "how come nv have dinner with us? like that how will you be able to hun xia qu in biz. later no friends how. we stand around your table and watch you eat." or something to that extent. it was hilarious i tell you.
funny thing was before that, they asked if doreen and i wanted to go for dinner with them. then we didn't really want to, so i replied with a, "wo men you yuan zai jian ba." and in the end we really did meet them. haha. i'm so totally not close to so many of my og mates, but yet somehow quite enjoy their company. nan de nan de. but ok lar. have a feeling many of these friendships will fade, and these people will just be mere acquaintances i'll meet occasionally along the biz school corridors. that's how many friendships end up isn't it. sad but it's the reality.
jr and cherry didn't want to meet for supper so in the end our supper with jackson was cancelled. hai oh well. gotta find another day when all of us are free again lor.=X
woke up at like 10am using phone alarm not knowing why i set the alarm. had to refresh my memory by looking at my calendar in my phone.=X was late when meeting jess at her house cos she offered to give me a lift (so good to have a friend with her own car rite.=P) but we were punctual at marina square and cynli was late! heh. our convo was hilarious too. a lil inappropriate to talk about it here, but yeah jess was totally exasperated with cynli and my questions.
after a while, cynli left and jess and i watched simpsons. it was super funny lar. a lot of spoofs. and some parts that prob required a bit of censoring, but quite surprised it wasn't censored at all. jess was saying i prob didnt get all the american jokes, which is so totally true. haha.
then we shopped for a while, which i spent quite a lot AGAIN, and met ja. went to jess' house after that. they were watching some *AHEM* show while i was watching my more innocent xing guang da dao. haha. then we left at 11pm and jess sent us to our bus stops.=)
received a series of smses from zl this morning. was smiling to myself in the mrt cos of those:
"hey i've made up my mind le. i'm going to study hard and not let her look down on me. i want her to regret her choice of leaving me. can you help me amelia?"
"thanks a lot! nah it's up to myself to guarantee anything. you can help me it's already a great deal le really. dont be pressurized or wat k"
"yup you're right. look on the bright side, at least it can be my motivation. i owe you a great deal."
"ok thanks life saver!"
oh man. though i still can't really say i know him very well, i'd think he has matured quite a lot. from the way he talks about stuff lar. at least it'll make my decision of helping him more worthwhile cos i know i'd have made a difference during this period of time to him. it's always good to lend a helping hand huh.
and michelle msged too. so touched lar seriously. i think we have been leading so different lives now that we tend to forget so many people around us. so tragic isnt it. sometimes we just have to stop and take a look at how our friends are doing, and if possible pull them along if they need that little bit of help. even if they dun, it's always good to give some encouragement.
but i always dun do that.
ah well. bro is gonna make me wake up at some unearthly hour tmr to accompany him somewhere, and i'm gonna go for driving lessons after that. i'm really quite dead lar. my test is in less than a month's time, and i'm still slacking like mad.=X
first lecture on tues.-_- hai i'm so not in the mood to study.
have been away from home for the last 2 days too. parents have been complaining but heck. it's really our last few days of freedom before school officially starts.
rag was ok i guess, except we all were like bbq-ed under the sun. and bizad won! damn cool. we didn't win all the smaller shields, and we were quite sad. when they announced us as overall winners, we really just jumped and screamed and went crazy. heh.
saw caiyu and afterwards jun at rag. they were all crashers lar. haha. when the whole thing ended and doreen and i were about to leave, yong'an and jonathan was so funny. we were like, "eh well done.". they replied, "we wouldnt have won without all your support lar. thank you thank you." haha. they were just trying to push the credit to us and make us happy, so i was seriously laughing like mad when they were doing that. entertaining bunch lar.
met ahsayunians after rag. went nyny for dinner and ate the carbonara there again. heh. of cos it didn't disappoint. stayed there till like 10pm, where the place was quite empty, then we left to go cartel for dessert. and guess who i saw? the raggers! that includes quite a lot of my og mates btw. when they were about to leave cartel, they came over to my table, and said, "how come nv have dinner with us? like that how will you be able to hun xia qu in biz. later no friends how. we stand around your table and watch you eat." or something to that extent. it was hilarious i tell you.
funny thing was before that, they asked if doreen and i wanted to go for dinner with them. then we didn't really want to, so i replied with a, "wo men you yuan zai jian ba." and in the end we really did meet them. haha. i'm so totally not close to so many of my og mates, but yet somehow quite enjoy their company. nan de nan de. but ok lar. have a feeling many of these friendships will fade, and these people will just be mere acquaintances i'll meet occasionally along the biz school corridors. that's how many friendships end up isn't it. sad but it's the reality.
jr and cherry didn't want to meet for supper so in the end our supper with jackson was cancelled. hai oh well. gotta find another day when all of us are free again lor.=X
woke up at like 10am using phone alarm not knowing why i set the alarm. had to refresh my memory by looking at my calendar in my phone.=X was late when meeting jess at her house cos she offered to give me a lift (so good to have a friend with her own car rite.=P) but we were punctual at marina square and cynli was late! heh. our convo was hilarious too. a lil inappropriate to talk about it here, but yeah jess was totally exasperated with cynli and my questions.
after a while, cynli left and jess and i watched simpsons. it was super funny lar. a lot of spoofs. and some parts that prob required a bit of censoring, but quite surprised it wasn't censored at all. jess was saying i prob didnt get all the american jokes, which is so totally true. haha.
then we shopped for a while, which i spent quite a lot AGAIN, and met ja. went to jess' house after that. they were watching some *AHEM* show while i was watching my more innocent xing guang da dao. haha. then we left at 11pm and jess sent us to our bus stops.=)
received a series of smses from zl this morning. was smiling to myself in the mrt cos of those:
"hey i've made up my mind le. i'm going to study hard and not let her look down on me. i want her to regret her choice of leaving me. can you help me amelia?"
"thanks a lot! nah it's up to myself to guarantee anything. you can help me it's already a great deal le really. dont be pressurized or wat k"
"yup you're right. look on the bright side, at least it can be my motivation. i owe you a great deal."
"ok thanks life saver!"
oh man. though i still can't really say i know him very well, i'd think he has matured quite a lot. from the way he talks about stuff lar. at least it'll make my decision of helping him more worthwhile cos i know i'd have made a difference during this period of time to him. it's always good to lend a helping hand huh.
and michelle msged too. so touched lar seriously. i think we have been leading so different lives now that we tend to forget so many people around us. so tragic isnt it. sometimes we just have to stop and take a look at how our friends are doing, and if possible pull them along if they need that little bit of help. even if they dun, it's always good to give some encouragement.
but i always dun do that.
ah well. bro is gonna make me wake up at some unearthly hour tmr to accompany him somewhere, and i'm gonna go for driving lessons after that. i'm really quite dead lar. my test is in less than a month's time, and i'm still slacking like mad.=X
first lecture on tues.-_- hai i'm so not in the mood to study.
Saturday, August 11, 2007
busy but glad...
have been coming home super late these days. after coming home at 3am on wed, i stayed over at amanda's house, went home at 8am in the morning, then went for supper and came home at 1.30am. haha i suddenly feel so happening. haha!
on national day, i totally didn't feel patriotic at all. haha. it was just a day to meet up and catch up with friends. really too bad vivien can't make it for buddy lunch, i was really looking forward to seeing my buddies! guess we wont meet until after As now, which is so so sad really...=X
went to meet jr and cherry at bugis. just walked around then went to eat some desserts, where jr was complaining i nv ever gave him a treat since p5. am i that bad a friend? =P heh. and cherry was so funny she kept complaining we nv speak chinese to her when jr and i kept speaking chinese to each other. haha! think khs friends are the few people whom i can really be comfortable with. that's super nan de lar.
after that jun and i arranged to meet. super funny she got on at city hall, then i was waiting for her at bugis. we took the same train but were in different cabins. so we got out of the train at lavender, saw each other then went in again. haha. i think people who saw what we did thought we were crazy. haha. anw we walked to zain's house, bbq-ed, talked to some people, watched a bit of the ndp parade, and then watched the 9pm show. celebrated the birthdays of the august babies too.=) we took a super long time to decide whether to stay over or not, and jun was the deciding factor.=D in the end we decided to stay over.
played 24 with them and it was super amusing. then they played a few other games which did not really interest us, so we went up to zain's room and started slacking around. i think they chatted and played some games too, but i was so tired from not sleeping much the previous night that i didn't involve myself. haha. we slept, woke up at 7.30am, then went off.
only photo i took with my camera! charles! the rest are in everyone else's cameras. haha.
came home and slacked. went for tuition at night, when dylan was being such an irritating boy and i was so damn pissed off. came home and received a call from cherry asking me to go have supper! haha. so i msged zl and jackson, but too bad jackson was still in camp.=X so the other 4 of us met at like 11.30pm and went to newton. had some nice and not-so-nice food there. poor zl was almost forced to go play mahjong when he's still studying for As. haha. and turned out he knows lincoln! haha. quite cool huh, the world is so small....=P
had quite a nice chat with the three. talked to zl quite a bit too, and we shared a cab home together. he wanted to accompany me all the way to my house, but of cos i rejected lar. crazy guy confirmed wont get a cab wan lor. so ex the midnight surcharge somemore. haha. but quite nice lar he.
cherry! knew each other since p5, but only became closer in sec 2. haha.
zonglin! think he changed quite a lot. but why do i look so much bigger than him! stupid jr stupid angle. haha.
k i shall zao now. quite late already. meeting doreen for lunch, then going for rag, then meeting ahsayunians, then meeting jr cherry and jackson for supper AGAIN. haha. but sounds quite exciting lar.=D
on national day, i totally didn't feel patriotic at all. haha. it was just a day to meet up and catch up with friends. really too bad vivien can't make it for buddy lunch, i was really looking forward to seeing my buddies! guess we wont meet until after As now, which is so so sad really...=X
went to meet jr and cherry at bugis. just walked around then went to eat some desserts, where jr was complaining i nv ever gave him a treat since p5. am i that bad a friend? =P heh. and cherry was so funny she kept complaining we nv speak chinese to her when jr and i kept speaking chinese to each other. haha! think khs friends are the few people whom i can really be comfortable with. that's super nan de lar.
after that jun and i arranged to meet. super funny she got on at city hall, then i was waiting for her at bugis. we took the same train but were in different cabins. so we got out of the train at lavender, saw each other then went in again. haha. i think people who saw what we did thought we were crazy. haha. anw we walked to zain's house, bbq-ed, talked to some people, watched a bit of the ndp parade, and then watched the 9pm show. celebrated the birthdays of the august babies too.=) we took a super long time to decide whether to stay over or not, and jun was the deciding factor.=D in the end we decided to stay over.
played 24 with them and it was super amusing. then they played a few other games which did not really interest us, so we went up to zain's room and started slacking around. i think they chatted and played some games too, but i was so tired from not sleeping much the previous night that i didn't involve myself. haha. we slept, woke up at 7.30am, then went off.
only photo i took with my camera! charles! the rest are in everyone else's cameras. haha.
came home and slacked. went for tuition at night, when dylan was being such an irritating boy and i was so damn pissed off. came home and received a call from cherry asking me to go have supper! haha. so i msged zl and jackson, but too bad jackson was still in camp.=X so the other 4 of us met at like 11.30pm and went to newton. had some nice and not-so-nice food there. poor zl was almost forced to go play mahjong when he's still studying for As. haha. and turned out he knows lincoln! haha. quite cool huh, the world is so small....=P
had quite a nice chat with the three. talked to zl quite a bit too, and we shared a cab home together. he wanted to accompany me all the way to my house, but of cos i rejected lar. crazy guy confirmed wont get a cab wan lor. so ex the midnight surcharge somemore. haha. but quite nice lar he.
cherry! knew each other since p5, but only became closer in sec 2. haha.
zonglin! think he changed quite a lot. but why do i look so much bigger than him! stupid jr stupid angle. haha.
k i shall zao now. quite late already. meeting doreen for lunch, then going for rag, then meeting ahsayunians, then meeting jr cherry and jackson for supper AGAIN. haha. but sounds quite exciting lar.=D
Thursday, August 9, 2007
end of oweek 2007
oweek has more or less come to an end. scofield is actually quite a fun og to be with, only problem lies in people joining our og at different times, so sometimes we ourselves get confused with who are our og members. can't say i thoroughly enjoy my og's company, but some of them are so funny characters that you can just sit there laughing at them. heh.
"jin tian you bu shi xin qi liu." (today is not saturday) -_-
there was one person who asked super a lot of questions, then in the end donated 10 cents. not that it matters how much one donates, but still... 
caroline!
an attempted group photo. but i think my camera sucks.=X
super blur photo cos of insufficent lighting! doreen, caroline, betty and tung ni!
i guess things got better this week. monday caroline and i had wanted to just drop by for a while to look at the bazaar. we ended up staying longer than expected cos our og were playing games. yong'an was so amusing lar. he 'banned' us from playing coordination games (which i appreciated very much.=P) cos he's bad at them, and then made us play 24 cos he's better at it. but it's really quite an interesting game, esp when you have a specific person to pinpoint everytime cos you know he/she wont be able to get it. heh.
after the games, i stayed with bro's friends to collect the flag day tins and t-shirts till like 6 plus.=X super long lar. went to buy laptop cover and submit my giro form as well.
flag day...we were supposed to meet at 7am, but when i reached at 7.20am, only yong'an and dong were there. and they didnt have the rest of the t-shirts and tins with them. j8 was already crowded with people, and so we moved on to bishan st 22 market, where i got some really weird responses to donating money.
"jin tian you bu shi xin qi liu." (today is not saturday) -_-
there was one person who asked super a lot of questions, then in the end donated 10 cents. not that it matters how much one donates, but still...
we had lunch at bishan, and then a few of us, caroline, dong and kai yi went over to jalan pemimpin. caroline and i went to bosch.=P heh. took the chance to go back, and at the same time garner some donations. mg was so kind. he donated a red note! haha. that's cos he was also from bizad. we had others donating $4, $5, and a lot a lot of coins. heh. not bad considering we were in aircon and had drinks served by mum.=P
we went thomson plaza after that in which we ended up sitting at the food court talking and slacking for quite some time. decided to split up after that. a few of us went to coronation, then we decided it was too crowded, so dong caroline and i went to sim. quite good over there i guess. we went back to coronation, then to j8 after that. my transport really was crazy lar. we had dinner at yoshi after a LONG LONG discussion. i feel scofield is somewhat like 6h - i'm not very close to everyone individually, but when everyone sits down and talks, i will really enjoy myself cos they are all so funny characters.
wed - caroline, doreen and i arranged to meet in school for field games. when doreen and i were there, we saw our ogl and aogl si ming and justin. then they told us nobody else was here! and we dun even have enough people to play the games. ended up 4 of us just chatted. we decided to go home first. i went to caroline's house cos i really needed help for make-up, and i felt really ridiculous wearing a formal , close to prom stuff, dress and take the mrt. haha. when we reached csc, we saw a bunch of people wearing denim skirts and girls wearing jeans! i felt really out of place lar seriously. oh well at least i had doreen as company.=D
went to the ballroom, took a lot of pictures, prog was fine. bro was scooping food for people and he was complaining he kept looking at the food then can't eat it! haha. poor thing. pageant quality was....no comments. i'm just talking about a certain someone actually. the rest i'm fine. heh.
here are the pics:
doreen!
caroline!
betty!
meryl, one of the pageant contestants! this is the normal shot.
an attempted rocker shot, but hmm....i look super....horrible. haha.
xinling! wanted to take a shot with clara too! but couldnt find her.=X
klarissa! one of the pageant contestants too.
xiufen! my bro's friend. chio rite?=P
my bro! who really looks like an ah beng here.
esther! my bro's friend too! she's very very bubbly and energetic lar.
four of us before most people sat down. betty, caroline and doreen.
kai yi, who's really quite smart but says super weird stuff at times. haha.
dong, who was the logistics i/c for dean's evening.
mel!
shaw yan, who was also one of the pageant contestants. but he didnt get into the next round.=X
yong'an, who's really damn amusing and reminds me of kang kang. but some people said he looks more like no no. haha. in any case, i think he acts and behaves like kang kang. omg. but i think he's the one who's keeping the og together. heh.
jonathan! i think he shaved his hair already. they went a lil mad last night. haha.
wailing! one of my junior councillors.
xinling again! without clara once again.=X
an attempted group photo. but i think my camera sucks.=X
pamela! she's in my bro's og. haha.
another attempted group photo. was supposed to be only the girls plus si ming. in the end turned out to be an og photo. haha.
fox river photo! mega huge and took super long.
betty and tung ni!
super blur photo cos of insufficent lighting! doreen, caroline, betty and tung ni!
ogl si ming and tung ni!
michael! one of the pageant contestants too! and whose house we crashed. his house is really damn cool.
pin yun! didnt know she's in biz too.=X
ok these are the photos i took. not a lot lar. but ah well. after this, we went michael's house. sat in dong's car. haha he gave us a few scares lar. like driving super quickly in the carpark. haha. but ok lar, he's quite a safe driver. i've seen and experienced worse ones. when we reached michael's house, we were seriously in awe lar.
look at this. this is his COMPUTER. the white thing is his keyboard. gosh.
below his beds are all his wine bottle collection lar. siao. and his house i think only 2 person living in it - his cousin and him. haha. and both are bald. =P
SOO many people were there lar. thought it was just our og. turned out that he invited other people also i think. we were playing games, like indian poker, 24, chinaman in which all the forfeits were to drink up some mixed drinks. the games were quite fun lar, and i didnt mind doing this forfeit. haha. after some rounds, i went really red lar, but luckily i still felt alright. but i drank quite little lar, though i kept getting caught for not doing certain actions. haha.
wanted to leave around 2pm, but some of them said no no just stay later. so we just bummed around, with some super high guys who were doing so weird stuff, like gaying around, and taking scandalous photos. ahah. played a short round of 'i never' with caroline, yong'an and doreen. i didnt need to drink anything! haha. so un-happening rite my life. haha.
shared a cab home at 3am plus. heard we shud have stayed cos they really did a lot of ridiculous stuff after we left.=X hai. but ah well. i didnt even sleep well after i came home. woke up at 9 plus when i slept at almost 5am lor. haha.
ok lar. my og is better than expected. but still, cant say i'm close to a lot of them. for the guys i'm actually closer to our seniors than our batch lar. lets just hope our og can continue to be enthu and meet up, though i actually doubt it, cos we're not the super bonded og, and we dun even know each other very close individually.
was supposed to have a lot of things on today, suddenly everything got cancelled, and now i'm stuck at home until afternoon time. sad lar. supposed to meet pri sch friends, whom i haven met in close to a year i think, then supposed to meet my buddies, hao bu rong yi planned one meal together then last min cancelled. meeting jun later and going zain's house for council bbq and stayover. hope it'll be fun!=)
next few days will be less busy but still have outings etc. haven been going for tuition or driving for super long lar. mr james is gonna kill me lar. and next week lectures starting already... hai... good thing no tutotials yet. heh.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)