Now Aloe and Cider have been itching their eyes! WHAT IF FORTIFY GETS IT?!?!?!?!?!?! I KNEW I should not have let them play in the kid area while mommy taught class to the mommies who gave up on themselves after pregnancy and are now trying to solve all of their problems with a one hour class twice a week (but you know me--I don't judge other moms. I have no idea what kinds of trials they aren't strong enough to handle that they might be dealing with).
I'm so worried that Fortify is going to get Pink Eye just as pageant season is beginning. We already have enough working against us, what with the petition to get her disqualified! (More jealous mommies who don't want their child to compete with my Fortify because they never taught their brats how to handle defeat!). Of course they say the petition is to protect the other children from "the events of last season." You know what, I'M SORRY THAT YOUR FOUR YEAR OLD DAUGHTERS DIDN'T HANDLE MY HELPFUL DIETING ADVICE BACK STAGE IN A HEALTHY MANNER! I'M SORRY THAT THE ONLY INFORMATION THEIR OWN MOMMIES HAVE GIVEN THEM HAS LED THEM TO BELIEVE THAT IT'S OK TO EAT IN THE 2 DAYS LEADING UP TO A COMPETITION (with THIS quality of participants, it's NO WONDER Fortify doesn't feel challenged!).
Anyway, now I've got to figure out how to deal with a possible Pink Eye problem. ANY MOM ADVICE OUT THERE????
~I Apparently Like Fortify More Than My Other Kids
ROTFL!! You crack me up! Sorry, nothing you can do. Pink eye is highly contagious....unless you just quarantine Fortify for a time. OR...you could farm your less favorable children out to keep her safe.
ReplyDeleteDo you know anywhere I can send the other three until I'm sure we're in the clear?
DeletePerhaps you could arrange a swap with some other mom until pageant season is over. Most other moms wouldn't be able to handle both their own kids and yours, but I'm sure they'd jump at the chance to take care of your amazing children and Casper while their children benefited from your inimitable parenting style. Really, you'd be doing them a favor.
DeleteGood thoughts. If only there were other moms I trusted. And of course I wouldn't want someone to have to deal with Casper.
DeleteFortify should find the other kids in the pageant and go rubs her eyeballs all over them. That way by the time the pageants start, maybe her eyes will be all better and the others will just be coming down with raging cases of pink eye.
ReplyDeleteI know Fortify doesn't need that kind of advantage, but hey it's a My Little Pony eats My Little Pony kind of world. (My StageMom eats your StageMom? No, that doesn't sound right. Substitute in whatever the small overachievers are amusing themselves with these days.)
I'm SURE the other kids would do this to Fortify if they had the chance! Thanks for the advice!
DeleteHow do you know one of the pageant moms didn't plant this? She probably had her child go underwater with her eyes open. Now Fortify is going to be all pink and goobery, and her child's eyes have been clear for a week! You really need to be on the look out for this sort of thing! Call your pediatrician! Get the ointment! Oh my God ! Panic !
ReplyDeleteI can think of about 5 different moms that would have done this on purpose and another dozen who would have done this carelessly.
DeleteAntibiotics, pronto! I think steroids might help. And most importantly, make up make up make up!
ReplyDelete