A Helluva Town

The Bronx, I'm told, is up. And my battery's down. Fires are breaking out all over, even though I had the car washed on Saturday to induce rain. And it was a tough Manhattan day, which had me juggling three calls/training sessions at once on MS Teams, not a fun thing. I couldn't even do two of them because I was recording the other one and that recording would have been lost if... you know what? Doesn't matter. I'm through, I'm home, I'm thawing, I'm exhausted.

Too Tired to Twitch

I always get twitchy whenever another Praise The Military holiday comes around. I know lots of folks who served - heck, my starter husband did umpteen tours with the Navy - but I will never believe they should be treated like some godlike beings because some rich politicians offered them up as possible cannon fodder. War is not, and never will be, the answer. That's kind of the point of this particular holiday, to remember the futility of war and pray that it stops for good someday soon. Until we stop worshiping the military (above others who actually serve by feeding the hungry and housing the homeless and fighting fires and other environmental disasters) the warmongering attitude is never going to change. But I'm just too tired by recent events (both political and personal) to do anything more than stay away from the war movies and slobbering, slavering tributes, do my job, and get ready for Manhattan again tomorrow.

It It 1971 Again?

As previously mentioned, we're both trying to stay away from watching or reading about current affairs for awhile. I'm limiting my social media time and starting to explore getting into reading again, probably going back to fantasy novels. I also want to take up the how-to-draw book again, and perhaps write once more but not (for the foreseeable) about silly sites. After we returned from shopping today with a nice clean car, we spent a few hours finishing up Apple TV's series about the music and politics of 1971, which I highly recommend. Of course you can always find historical parallels if you look hard enough, as humans we love finding patterns, but I was struck by (a) how far we've come since then and (b) how fragile all this freedom is when the strong status quo class feels it has anything to lose. And also, how creative opposition to status-quo conservatism can be. So in a small way it too gave me hope. We've been in dark places before and found the light. Just as we love finding patterns, I do think we all have an instinct to push past our lizard brains and bend towards the light. Little by little I'm climbing out.

Mom When She's There

We visited Mom in the long-term care facility today, having to drive through the smoke and haze wafting in on the wind from the north, but all went well. Mom's a bit sharper in the mornings and I don't like hitting George Washington Bridge-bound traffic (especially given the fire hazard situation) any later than 2 PM, so it worked out well. It was as pleasant a visit as could be expected nowadays, considering her lingering confusion and dislike of food in general. I have to say, the food at this LTC place is amazing, we each tried a bit of the breaded cod she was served for lunch and it whetted our appetites enough to keep going over the GWB, past our neighborhood and into the wilds of Westchester County to Kura, our favorite conveyor belt sushi place. For once my stress-induced gastrointestinal issues quieted a bit and I was able to enjoy our repast, and we still got home in plenty of daylight and time to relax before heading out again tomorrow for our usual grocery shopping. The car worked fine, although it desperately needs a wash (also tomorrow). All in all I still feel like I'm in a holding pattern, but every day holding on seems to become just a tiny bit easier.

Distractions

Old movies. Junk food. Data entry on the job. Smiling along with work colleagues. Anything to keep my mind occupied while I work through this (inter)national mourning period. I have very understanding partners and managing directors at work, always willing to lend an ear, but I'm just not certain I feel like talking. Gearing up to visit Mom tomorrow, speaking with my uncle each Friday, trying to keep in touch with as many relatives and friends and acquaintances as I can, knowing there is strength in community. Thanks for being there and being patient with me.

The Beginning of the End

At the moment I just don't have the heart to blog, to do any creative writing at all. The nature that used to be all around the space surrounding our house is slowly being destroyed to make way for brick-lined patios and backyard play space for screaming children. My mom is permanently ensconced in a nursing home. And the country... well, goodness only knows what will happen to the once-lofty ideals of the USA in the next four years. If Robin and I are very careful we might be able to tough this out, but he's not a citizen and neither of us are Christians. So Canada is looking good for retirement, maybe even England, but it's a matter of financial stability. So right now I feel like I'm in a holding pattern, and all I can do to take my mind off things is work and leisure activities. And half of those are gone, as I wiped all the back-posts off my blog reader and don't really feel Facebook-y right now. I might start my drawing lessons again, just as AI looms to replace all meaningful creative endeavor. I might actually begin reading full-length books once more. But writing, blogging, stuff like that? Well, tune in tomorrow, I suppose.

USA, Nice While It Lasted

Well, it's all over. Our modern-day Caligula not only won the electoral college votes but the popular votes of millions of scared and deluded white people, our fellow citizens-turned-cultists, and I fear there's no way to recover from this. I'm nearing retirement (will I still even have Social Security and Medicare?), the Yonkers neighbors are paving paradise and putting in a parking lot (looks like a concrete party space is coming) right outside my home office window, my mom may not be long for this world, and nothing is keeping us here now. I need to meet with a retirement specialist soon and try to figure out if we can move to Canada or, preferably, the UK and get away from what's to come... except, of course, that what's to come will affect the entire world. It's hard to see any silver lining here. Most of us believed him the first time he showed us who he was. Will he ever cede power? Will his enemies be executed? I wouldn't put anything past him. I weep for Ukraine and Israel and Gaza and every other place with decent people, but mostly I weep for those of us unable to understand and counteract our neighbors' fear and stupidity. I've been going through various stages of grief for awhile now with Mom's situation, now I'm just kind of numb from it all. But we need to carry on, because we have no choice. So I immerse myself in work and computer games and other distractions and hope against hope that sanity and reality will prevail despite the odds.

Silly Site o' the Day

It's Election Day in the US, and we're hoping for the best and... well, I don't even know how to prepare for the worst as one candidate is an existential threat to pretty much the entire world. So I'm keeping busy at the office, and Robin's keeping busy at home. Today we found out that our landline has been automatically forwarding calls to Optimum's online answering machine (not even our own!) for about a week, which means we've missed all incoming calls. I'm grateful we haven't heard the political spam ones, but there was at least one from my uncle I would have liked to have heard. Everything's all fixed now, and I'll be making a couple outgoing calls tomorrow to make sure everyone knows what happened. I think we're moving closer to a cell-only life, probably when I retire. In the meantime, enjoy this ballot-box stand-up comedy.

Silly Site o' the Day

Whew, my new credit card came in today to replace the one that had a teeny tiny (like $10) fraudulent charge on it last week. I now have it it set up on all the usual places, updated auto-pay stuff, all that jazz. It was surprisingly easy, thanks to the list I now keep of where my credit card is used for auto-pay stuff (EZ Pass and the like) and my in-house IT person. Robin and I still can't figure out how to verify one of my other cards on my iPhone or Apple Watch, but I do still carry the physical cards with me so that's not a big deal. I feel settled again, at least for now. Maybe I'll go outside tomorrow and watch the birds with Birdcast (via PZ Myers).

Silly Site o' the Day

Okay, it could have been too much hot sauce in yesterday's pseudo-salsa, or this morning's scrambled eggs, but my stomach and thus the rest of my body paid the price for much of the day, including the gamut of chills and sweats, so I laid low and got as many naps in as I could. I hate when I'm both hungry and not hungry at the same time. At this point I don't even care what my body fat spirit animal is...