Today I've Been Mostly Wearing

...Unicorn leggings.

As you do. You know things are serious when I'm wearing unicorn leggings. Under a tenner at Target.

Hard to photograph because...unicorns. *Shrugs*

Danny's been posting these status updates in the kitchen. I suspect he has one for, "Everybody PANIC!" Hopefully we won't get there.

This is the bad week, but it is all over by Sunday night.

I don't see the note for, "Send mum for a spa-day." Oh well, perhaps it is in September.

Banana Split Cake cooling. It will eventually be iced. Basically, a banana pound cake with a layer of strawberry, and a ring of chocolate (not visible from outside). I wouldn't let him bake the, "Tunnel of Fudge" because well, Fudge Tunnel. I know, the cake came first, but still.  Today was also rye breads, oatmeal breads, the cake layers for the gold cake and devil's food cake, and a banana bread.

I learned a good trick that is proving useful. To soften biscuits like lebkuchen, or to keep chocolate chips from going hard in the tin, add a slice of cheap, commercial white bread. The biscuits absorb the moisture from it without imparting a flavour like a slice of apple or orange would. It works! You need to change it out after a day as the bread slice turns dry as toast, but it is a good way to extend the life of your biscuits for the fair, at the holidays, or whenever. The springerle really benefited from the bread treatment as they need to age before eating. As the clock ticks down here, the bread trick has been a lifesaver. Sure, I feel stupid buying cheap white bread when there's so much baking going on here, but why waste the good stuff to keep biscuits fresh? Anyway, just thought I'd share a good tip.

Helpful Hint-Condensation on Cold Drink Bottles

My morning iced coffee used to drip condensation from my reusable bottle. This irritated me, so I cut the cuff off one of Danny's sweat socks, slid it over the bottle, and now that problem is solved. I call it the, "coffee sock" but you can call it what you please. It also serves as a bit of insulation, and let's face it, an unevenly cut band from a sweat sock is always going to look classier than a foam band with a stupid saying on it.

This is Where I Pass Along Some Middle Aged Wisdom

Yesterday afternoon, I trudged to the attic intending to pack away a few coats. Instead, I spent the better part of the afternoon disposing of rubbish written by my younger self. Two large boxes of youthful rubbish, mind. A paper shredder might be a reasonable investment for someone with a tendency to put thoughts to paper, but we live on a farm with a pit for burning, which packs a bit more symbolic impact, if you're into that sort of thing. I accomplished this task without wearing my glasses, lest I be tempted into thinking something was good enough that I might wish to "use it someday."

Right, so the middle aged wisdom part: Don't write poetry unless you are a 1960's confessional poet, and even then, it probably wasn't a good idea. I mean, if Anne Sexton had lived to my age, you know she would have regretted everything that came after, "I Have Been Her Kind". I have to think it would have been worse to die of embarrassment than carbon monoxide poisoning. My point is, you probably don't write very well, and the bastard you poured your heart out over in verse didn't deserve poetry-even really god-awful poetry. They might have deserved Anne Sexton's poetry, depending on how bad of a bastard we're talking about, but even then, only with the benefit of really overly dramatic reading.

I was going to advise putting the pen away, but that brings me to my next bit of old lady wisdom-the Internet is forever. Look, I know how fortunate I am being able to lug my embarrassing notebooks off to the pit for disposal, but if you put those profound thoughts of yours on Facebook, or Blogger, or wherever it is young people share their profound, unedited thoughts...baby, you're screwed. Those over-written blog posts that describe some damned thing you baked as, redolent, infused, garlicky, perfumed...yeah, you're going to be stuck with that. Those toilet training posts you wrote accompanied by a photograph of your child giving a poop-satined high-five for the camera? Yep, at best he's going to hate you, at worst, you're looking at matricide. Deleting posts won't help. Kids, the Internet is forever.

I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to all my friends that I ever subjected to reading/listening to my youthful rubbish. I am really ever so sorry. So, so, so sorry. Learn from my mistakes kids-don't write poetry.

Is Your Pesto This Green?

Or is it kind of brown and murky?

Here's the trick, though purists will scoff I swear you cannot tell the difference in taste. Blanch the basil for 30 seconds in boiling water. Then plunge it into ice cold water to stop the cooking. Drain, pat somewhat dry and proceed with your favourite pesto recipe (we omit the pine nuts due to allergy).

So much more apetising, don't you think?