Pepto Pink and Seeking Your Help

 There's "Millennial Pink", but this is definitely, Pepto-Bismal pink. No getting around it. Being polyester, it just takes on that added bit of silliness. I'm pretty sure it is home sewn. I hope she received good marks in home economics because this is a very nice dress, save for the colour.

I attracted my share of odd looks wearing it around Omaha today. One fellow had to stop, turn around and continue looking at me like I'd somehow caused him psychic discomfort by existing. That was kind of rich coming from someone with a hipster beard, and a waxed handle-bar moustache.

 This pendant has a secret. Flip it over and...

...you can check your lippy. I love accessories that mix beauty with function. This one is vintage Avon. They made some very nice stuff in the 70's.

Outfit Particulars:Vintage 70's maxi-dress-Defunct costume shop
Vintage Johansen shoes-Thrift World
Vintage Margaret Smith handbag-Hand-Me-Ups
Vintage bangles-Both Goodwill
Vintage bracelet(part of a set)-Hand-Me-Ups
Vintage earrings-Can't remember
Fragrance-Vintage Miss Dior

 Made in the USA-you don't see too many shoes that are anymore.

I should clean these earrings-yet another case of not spotting a flaw until I post a close-up photo.

Now for the request. It is Syllabus writing time again for the 2017-18 school year. I need to have it submitted by July, but I hope to be done much earlier (I'm ready for Summer break). Each year, I try to focus the curriculum around a single theme for each semester. Next year, I'm doing our neighbours, Mexico and Canada. I typically select some readings in history, literature, humanities, anthropology etc. that I can focus on the theme.

This is where I ask you for suggestions, I don't want to assign Paz to a 12 year old, although he would probably get more out of him than I ever did. Any Mexican literature spring to mind that you'd like to suggest?

For Canada, I've been teaching post-European arrival history for a few years now, but I'd like to add some readings that acknowledge the people already living there. I have a textbook that covers pre-Confederation Canada, but I don't have any modern indigenous authors assigned for readings. Any suggestions?

I think I have maths covered but if you have a favourite Trigonometry textbook, I'd love to hear about it.

Thanks in advance!

A Couple Re-Posts to Bid Mr. Harper Farewell

Since mr. Harper won't be there to kick around anymore...

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 31, 2009

Monsters vs. Prime Ministers

Starring: Prime Minister Harper...and Monsters!




Mr. Harper Officially welcomes Gort the Robot to Ottawa:"Oh, well yes that's fine that you went to Calgary first."


But the Hydra wants a hat(s) too:
"Well really now, you keep losing them-you can't expect the city to keep handing out honorary hats if you keep losing them when you grow your head back. That's fiscally irresponsible. Really, you need to take that up with them, but for all the oil money in Alberta, they still can't be handing out hats to every monster that stops by to say hello and skeletalise a cow. Er...cattle. They're called "cattle." I think. Cattle? That's the proper term then? Right. Cattle. They might give you one hat, but I do think three are out of the question.


The Japanese ambassador wants to discuss mad cow disease in Canadian beef exports:

"Canadian beef is absolutely safe to eat, though we do recommend cooking it to a safe internal temperature. With your fire breathing capabilities that shouldn't be much of an issue. So...how's Mothra these days? Do send our regards.


The Liberal leader drops by:
"Look Iggy, I don't have time for your nonsense, I'm lousy with monsters at the moment...perhaps you failed to notice."



Mr. Harper addresses ecological issues:
"Well who told you to go near the sands in the first place? I mean, really now-you're a creature, a monster at that, you should know better. It is all fine and well to be looking out for the stupid migratory birds, but honestly, I thought you monsters could look out for yourselves. Oh yes, so tough when it comes to dragging swimmers out of the water, but put them near some oil sands and they're all "Oh...ewwww... I got dirty! Go get your NDP friends to scrub you off."



Mr. Harper on the nuclear threat:




Look Mr. Gort...that's your name? Gort? Is that Spaceman for "I have horrendous manners?" I thought so. As I was saying, Canada does not have nuclear ambitions. You really do need to stop pounding my head now-that really isn't polite and Canadians value polite behaviour above...pretty please, stop pounding my head? That really isn't terribly polite. You leave me no choice but to summon the RCMP...and they're bringing stun guns..



Mr. Harper on Tourism:
Why yes, we have tall buildings, why do you ask? Our women? Just lovely, lovely, lovely women. Well I don't know what you mean by "good screamers" but if it something American women do, then I'm sure our Canadian women can scream every bit as convincingly as their American counterparts. You're not actually a king are you? You're a monkey!

WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2009

Monsters vs. Prime Ministers

Danny is really into monsters at the moment. He's also learning Canadian history. I shouldn't have been too shocked when he asked:

" Stephen Harper vs. Godzilla?"
"Godzilla."
"Well, what about Stephen Harper vs. King Kong?"
"King Kong."
(Getting frustrated) "Well what about Stephen Harper, Sir John A. and Pierre Trudeau vs. Godzilla?"
"I don't think Mr. Harper would accept their help."
"He would if he were fighting the Hydra. You'd need a few guys for that. Did you know the heads keep growing back?"
"You don't say."
"They do. He'd need help with the Hydra, for sure. Mama? How do you spell Cthulhu?"
"I don't think Harper could handle Cthulhu."

Kind of predictably, I found myself making cardboard templates of various Canadian prime ministers and monsters. Those of you who have been around the blog for a while know what happens when I start making cardboard templates. We all remember the Noam Chomsky cookies, correct? Yeah, that was fun. 

As a sort of amusing aside:

I tried using Google.ca for a decent picture of Trudeau and the first image that came up had him shaking hands with Mao. Another had him with Castro, and yet another was John and Yoko. That's kind of funny because at the time I remember being kind of disgusted that he wasn't radical enough, but I guess Google is proving my memory wrong. I'll bet I have the only kid in Saunders County Nebraska playing with cardboard cut-outs of Canadian prime ministers battling monsters...at least, I hope I have the only kid in Saunders County Nebraska playing prime ministers vs. monsters.

You watch yourself against that Cthulhu now Mr. Harper...

Keep Our Neighbours in Your Thoughts

Around 10 AM I had a computer screen shoved in my face with the nervous instruction to, "Look what's going down in Ottawa."

There's the disconnect of seeing the footage, reading the scrolling headline, and thinking that somehow it must be wrong. Wishing it were wrong. What the hell has anyone got against Canada? Aren't they the last refuge for the helpless the world has?

I don't know anything. I can't summon the right words. I'm so sorry Canada has had to experience this horror. They'll have to sort through what has happened in the coming days, but I'm convinced as firmly as I've ever been convinced of anything that Canada will still be Canada.

Send some love to our Canadian friends as they grieve tonight.

Who Ordered the Shit Sandwich?

I had to drop off several (four) vials of stool culture at the Dr's office for Danny (please god, don't be C Diff) and I had it all in a paper lunch sack as I approached the receptionist's desk. I was sooo tempted to swing it around and start asking, "Hey! What's brown and sticky?" And when no one replied, scream, "A STICK!" but instead I just handed over the bag and now we wait for a call telling us why kiddo has been crapping his brains out for three weeks following treatment with antibiotics. Yay! I once made the receptionist cry because I told her to stop talking and listen  to what I was trying to tell her, and she told me I was, "mean." I don't know what she would have done if I offered her a shit sandwich. Anyway, we should talk about vintage clothes, that's why you're here, correct?

This polyester crepe-like dress was another .98 cents steal from Thrift World. No maker label, but it had the red, white, and blue Garment Workers label, so post 1976 anyway. If I had to make an educated guess, I'd put it no earlier than '77 and no later than '81. I had dresses like this in that time period. This would have been an inexpensive dress, but again, it is so better made than the expensive clothing you can buy today. I love black and brown together, and the pattern struck a chord somewhere in what's left of my brain-so home it came. It is quite sheer in the sun, so I'm wearing it with a half slip.

I'm glad it didn't require altering, because it would be a shame to lose that pattern at the hem. The dress could have been a size smaller, but that's the beauty of elastic waists-you stick a belt over it, and suddenly it fits.

Outfit Particulars:

Late 70's dress- Thrift World
60's chain link belt-Thrift World
Gold Shoes-Goodwill
Gold 60's handbag-Goodwill
1970's Monet medallion necklace-Hand Me Ups
1960's Napier gold beads-Hand Me Ups
1970's bracelet (with brown and white stones) Hand Me Ups
1970's gold clamper bracelet with onyx-like stone-Gift from my sister, circa 1976 (I think it was Christmas, might have been a birthday-who can remember? I know it came from Carson Pirie Scott because she worked there, and I mentioned wanting it. And she bought it, which was totally cool).
Black sparkly ring-Goodwill
Gold Earrings- K Mart (.49 cents clearance!)

 The purse was a bit must inside, so I sprayed a hankie with Emeraude and now it smells much better, in a nan sort of way.

 

Matching shoes and handbag extreme gold edition! Gawd I love these gold shoes. They hurt like hell every time I wear them, and they are impossibly bright, but damn! Hot Damn those are some bright shoes. Gold shoes are a basic human right-it should be enshrined in the Constitution because people, if gold shoes aren't the, "Pursuit of happiness" then I don't know what is.

I couldn't get that shot again in a million years if I tried, but hey, pretty cool, huh?

I want to wish our Canadian neighbors neighbours a Happy Canada Day. I raise a bowl of poutine to you as a toast. You should work on getting gold shoes into your Charter as well, then we can all pursue happiness.

Nanaimo Bars-Nut Free Version

What's in a Nanaimo Bar?

Drunks and hookers.

 

This was my first attempt at the classic dessert from British Columbia. I used the recipe here:

http://www.canadianliving.com/food/nanaimo_bars.php

Because we have nut allergies to deal with, I adapted the crust by using a bit more coconut. Another good substitute for nuts would be crushed pretzels, or toasted porridge oats. I also had to use a local store brand custard powder as Bird's is almost impossible to come by where I live. I doubt you could taste the difference against all that butter and sugar. I should mention that these are not health food, even if you use dark cocoa.

 

Here's a closer look at the mushroom canister and napkin holder in the background. I know Nanaimo bars have been around for a long time, but I associate them with the early 70's, just like mushroom shaped canisters. Don't store your Nanaimo bars in a canister-they need the fridge.

 

There are two other pieces to the set, but you get the idea.

 

Happy Weekend.

 

Canadian Clothing to Cover You From Your Banff, to Your Regina

These culottes are 

the first of three Canadian-made vintage clothing items I bought last weekend. I spotted the UNITE tag, and knew they were union made as well. If you know me, you know I've yet to meet a labour union I didn't love, so I hummed a few stanzas of the Internationale, got in line, and brought these beauties home for a buck. The same trip scored a red vintage raincoat (red coats from Canada are OK so long as they are not Hudson Bay blanket coats), and a hideous white poncho-all lovingly sewn by our neighbours to the north. Jokes aside, their clothing was always better made than ours, and on the somewhat expensive side even when their dollar wasn't worth what it is today.

I'm not really sure what to call these. Culottes? Gauchos? Palazzo pants? I do wish they were slightly longer, ending just at my ankle, but they were perfectly comfortable, and easy to pair with a cardigan. Not my typical style at all.

 You want me to smile, and show you the temporary crown on my tooth, dontcha? Fine.

It isn't real gold. The finished crown will be white. I dunno, I feel kinda tough with my gold tooth and Canadian culottes. I should go take someone's lunch money away from them.

Still, you need more than great trousers, and a gold tooth to take you anywhere in the world, so I made sure to accessorise.

Outfit Particulars:

1980's (possibly 70's) trousers-Thrift World
Red cardigan-retail, ages ago
Red slingback shoes-thrifted
Dior earrings-thrifted
Bangles-thrifted here and there
Blue tee shirt-K Mart
Red belt-Thrift World
Blue beads-Goodwill
Enamel flower pin-Hand-Me-Ups Store
70's red clutch handbag-thrifted


What about you"? Do you seek out union made clothing, or items from a specific country?

Loser Keeps Bieber

I laughed so hard at this, I scared Danny.
http://www.nbcnews.com/storyline/sochi-olympics/high-stakes-hockey-canada-v-usa-loser-keeps-bieber-n35041

Updated: Oh well, being a good neighbor means sometimes you have to babysit the neighbour's bratty kid.

Nationalism at the Seafood Counter

Who knew purchasing a couple whole trout could turn political? I indicated I'd like two, and the fishmonger launches into how he's so glad they finally got some Idaho trout because he was sick and tired of selling Canadian trout. OK. Well they are a different species, I'm not sure it is really fair to compare, but his anger was clearly directed at those foreign fish. He was really frothing.

Is it the Olympics? Is that it? Maybe he's a curling fan, and knows the Canadian men's team will be bringing home gold, again? Bad fishing trip up North years ago? Jilted at love? I mean, Canada? I can think of countries flooding our markets with crap goods that deserve a bit of a rant, but we're talking about Rainbow Trout...and Canada.

Unless he has land in the path of the proposed Keystone pipeline (which I admit is possible) it seems like a somewhat silly thing to get quite so upset about.

Really, it was almost surreal.

I Had a Red Coat

A million years ago before the Internet, and when the Roman Aqueducts were still new-ish, I was eleven years old, and had a red coat. A red Hudson's Bay coat with the black trim. I hated that fucking coat. I didn't mind the red wool blanket that my dad bought in the late 40's on a trip to Canada...because I didn't need to wear it. I don't know which bastard brought that coat back across the border for me, but I hated them as well. Years later, I was looking through family photos and noticed my sister (ten years my senior) dressed in a similar 1950's version of the same bloody coat, though she was subjected to the further indignity of a matching red wool cap. On the one hand, it felt less like targeted abuse as the precedent had long ago been established (dressing your unsuspecting daughters in red wool coats) though I didn't find much comfort in the knowledge that the abuse was generational. Knowing that all manner of abuses run in families I figured the risk of me subjecting Danny to a Red Hudson's Bay coat was probably a real concern, so I quickly backed away from the display of them at a vintage fair last weekend...but not before catching a glimpse at the price-tag.

Holy hell, those coats are selling for a small fortune these days! I though the seller was clearly nuts, asking $150. for a striped multi colour version of the iconic coat. After a quick check of the Internet, that turned out to be a steal. I suddenly felt terribly nostalgic for that hated red wool coat. Forget all the teasing I had to endure each day on the bus from more fashionably outfitted classmates ("Orphan Annie! Look at Orphan Annie!"). Forget the lining that never quite fit as well as it should have. Forget that it was purchased large enough that I was still wearing it well into High School. Forget it all-that coat is selling for $400. My poor, poor beloved coat. How I miss the scratchy red wool coat of my youth. *sob* my beautiful, red wool coat. My $400. red wool coat.

Well, I guess that ends the cycle of Hudson's Bay coat abuse because there's no way I am shelling out that kind of cash for a kid's coat. I don't know about you, but in my world $400. is a used car that comes with a working heater to keep you warm.

Am I missing something? These were dead common, and durable so there must be millions of them still lurking it closets across North America. I assume at that price no one will be teased on the school bus for sporting one.

Knight

If you're in Canada, have a look out for THIS fellow.

Coffee Crisp Still Exists?

-apparently it does, in Canada.

That was the very best candy bar. The Best. When it disappeared from stores I assumed it was a casualty of changing tastes. I'm a good day's drive from the Canadian border, but at least with the cooler weather, it won't melt.

I don't really think Mr. ETB will drive to Canada this weekend so I can buy candy (probably not "nut-safe" anyway) but I'll still complain about it. Canadians get everything. Breathtaking national parks, socialised medicine, dulse (ok, maybe they can keep the dulse) and all the good candy. They get wine gums as well. Crunchie bars are pretty good too, but I already know how to make cinder toffee.

What other forgotten 20th Century delicacies are you guys hoarding up there? Marathon bars?

Toy Soldiers

I am physically unable to walk past a clearance table of educational toys without making a purchase. Really. My knees buckle, my head pounds, and before I know it I'm on my way out of Hobby Lobby with Revolutionary War toy soldiers. Of course, I came home and checked out the manufacturer's website.

I hate to get all "history nerd" here, but...well, GO LOOK FOR YOURSELF.

Danny has already requested a number of Napoleonic Wars sets for his birthday, and Christmas (yes, he's still on that-sigh). I know he'll want the Crimean War set as well. The set we already purchased is exceptionally well made for plastic toys and well worth the cost. I don't think I've ever had a set of plastic toys that stood without tipping. They are sturdy, and the muskets won't snap off from normal play (I mean, unless you really try-like those "unbreakable" combs. You can break them, but it takes some effort.

I was gonna get a War of 1812 set but I read an article in the Globe and Mail suggesting Americans don't know anything about the war*, and are suffering historical amnesia. Maybe, but we know who burned down our capitol(clears throat)but I'd still like to wish our Canadian neighbors (neighbours) a Happy Thanksgiving.

* I still stand by my belief that you cannot properly teach the war of 1812 unless you are also teaching the Napoleonic Wars, and that obviously takes time away from teaching to the standardised test. (steps down off of soapbox).

A Well Mannered Bear

-ambled into a pizza parlour in Canada for some grub. From the article:

'He was eating slice by slice and had impeccable manners for a bear.'

Well, he was Canadian. They're very polite-right down to their bears. I heard they always apologise before they start chewing on your head, and say, "Thank you" when they're done.

Canada

Conversation:

Papa: Here Danny, you can use the dinner plate with the doggie on it.
Danny: I hate dogs, all they do is pee on the floor.
Papa: Well bears eat people and pee on the floor, but you like them.
Danny: Well no one keeps a bear as a pet (pause) well...maybe Canadians.


I bought a loofa today called, Upper Canada. I mean, it was made in China, but the company is headquartered in Mississauga, which isn't all that Northerly, but OK-it is north of where I'm sitting.

Is this really a marketing point? Can you imagine anyone standing in the store trying to decide between the Regular old, unnamed loofa, or the exotic Upper Canada variety? I mean sure, winter is a bitch up there, and I suppose if anyone knows a thing or two about scraping flaky dead skin cells off their legs it would be Canadians-but Upper Canada? I mean, you'd have to strip off all those caribou hides to even get at your legs, and then really, you'd have to melt the water before bathing, and gosh that's a fuss when there probably isn't anyone around for miles. But it isn't from Upper Canada. It isn't from one of those Arctic islands, no this is a cheap loofa made in China, and distributed by some clever businessperson in Mississauga, but damn, it sure does make me want to scrub the hell out of my skin for that "right off the dogsled" glow.

It will probably give me a rash.

Jewtine

You know, poutine made with potato latkes. I made a wonderful spicy, mushroom gravy with veggie stock and passover cake flour. I dunno, it just seemed like the thing to do.

Snow Excuses

Hear, hear!

What's more, the excuse doesn't really work in the Midwest in general. It snows here in the winter. Unless you live in Western Mass. today because frankly, you're so screwed. But everyone else-no excuses.

I have to admit shock that school was canceled for two days in Lincoln, and Omaha because of a few inches of snow. A Few inches of snow. Picture me rolling my eyes. I used to get up at 5 AM to dig my car out and get to work by 8. I kept a shovel and kitty litter in the trunk of the car. Just last evening, I had to explain the concept of a butane lighter to Mr. ETB for dealing with frozen doors and locks on the car (he tried the old, "Let's kick the door and see if it opens", which it didn't, but succeeded in breaking the handle instead). We live in a cold climate. Geez, you know people live in even colder, snowier places than Chicago, and Omaha. I swear, that's true. There's this country to our north called, Canada. You don't see Canadians canceling school for 3 inches of snow, or because the mercury drops into negative digits.

Now, if you would-Get Offa My Lawn!

From The Department of, "Fucking Duh."

-maybe they don't like being called the. "51st state", or "Cannuckistan."

Gosh darnit, I'm so offended! I haven't been this offended since they burned our capitol in 1812.

The Angry French Canadian

I'll bet they were sober when they came up with this.

Canadian History Books, and Other Things That Bother Me

Really, I'll be pleased if he can remember John Cabot, and something about Cartier. I flipped open a copy of The Pageant of Canadian History, and was met with this stunning statement:

"North America was formed through geological ages to become the home of virile men."

Rock hard? I can't find the joke, but I know there is one. The book continues much in this absurd, over-written manner, with generous ethnocentric characterisations of the indigenous peoples. Yeah, we're going to need a better textbook. Canada has changed a bit since 1943, though assuming their men are as virile as before. They've probably stopped calling the First Nations, "savages."


While I'm complaining about the quality of writing for children...


I've finally given up, and resorted to teaching classics with Edith Hamilton, and the Bullfinch. How on earth can you teach mythology and give it the old, "happily ever after" treatment? Bah! That's what's wrong with kids today. Now get offa my lawn, you damn beatniks with your long playing records and happy endings!

Not Sure Which Is More Disturbing...

...a man with a machete on a playground, or the name of the playground.

"Dr. Probe Elementary?" Parochial school, perhaps? (Sorry).

Bonus points for someone that can make a joke about a machete, and "Dr. Probe, at your cervix."