Cottage Garden

Today I spent all day with my friend Laurie who lives in the sweetest cottage in the country on almost half an acre. She has trees dripping with pears and apples and grape vines full of not quite ripe concord grapes which she's said I can have. I picked the prettiest Gravenstein's and pears and brought home a large box of each.

We took a short walk across the road and a large field to a piece of property that's for sale. Just for fun we imagined being neighbors and Max made us walk up to the second story of the very large creepy old barn full of bird and mouse droppings and dripping with spider webs. I love the house I'm in so much that I have no desire to move ever again...but Laurie's spot on earth is so lovely that it was fun to imagine living across the road from her.

Hanging out in Laurie's garden reminds me what I want mine to be: full of flowers and fruit. I have so much to do to transform my own much smaller space and it reminded me to relax into the process. I don't have a huge amount of space but I'd say I've got more than enough to create my own small version of paradise.

What a lovely lush day.

It Takes a Bee to See a Flower

Sometimes you can't see what's right in front of you until someone else sees it first. I'm not sure I would have noticed these amazing spiky purple globes if they hadn't been swarming with bees. I noticed the heavy bee activity and then saw these incredible perennial flowers whose name I don't yet know. This is my friend Lisa E's garden and she's going to search for the tag and tell me who this enchantress is.

I am going to have to plant enough of them to be able to pick some for arrangements yet still leave plenty for the fauna of the garden to sip at. How I want my garden to shape up is beginning to be clear. It takes time in a new garden to learn how it should unfold. You can't force ideas onto a space, you have to try out ideas based on what you have. Garden spaces, the light they get, the soil they already have, their orientation to the house, and what you need from them will ultimately reveal what your options are.

This is another flower that has grabbed my attention in Lisa's garden. She told me what it is and I will need to look it up. It cast a spell over me and now I can't imagine having a garden without it. I must find some to add to mine.

This is Lisa's vegetable garden. She has the magic touch. Everything she plants here becomes lush and fruitful. She doesn't know if she agrees with me because she has in her mind the things she's tried to grow that haven't done as well as hoped. All gardeners have those things in their heads but what I see is a dense planting of beets and carrots that, while they could have used a thinning, are bulbing up very well and I can attest that they taste superb.

She made a dinner whose produce came almost entirely from her own garden. That is such a wonderful achievement. She made a salad of greens with beets (and pine nuts and feta), polenta with sauteed beet greens, and a spicy zucchini soup. My favorite was the beet salad but the polenta was amazing too because beet greens are so tender and melt in your mouth.

These are her girls.

I spent yesterday planning my garden spaces. I want to figure out what I'm going to do with some of them now. I want to get my winter garden planted. I missed a lot of summer planting because of our move and then my trip to Scotland.

I saw that one of my local nurseries had a couple of the fruit trees I want to get and I would love to get them settled in now instead of waiting until next winter. So I might do that. Before planting trees you really need to have a solid idea of how all your garden spaces will work together and where the light is coming from. I think I've got that down now.

Today I have to work on my canning talk but this week is largely free for garden work. I hope I can muster up the physical energy it will take to do it and I also hope it isn't hot as hades. I don't have a lot of money to work with but as I mentioned yesterday I already have a lot of dirt, some wood, and lots of seeds. That's quite a bit to work with!

What is everyone else doing in their gardens right now? Is anyone else planning a winter garden?

Sweet Denial

I have a flood of things to say but nowhere to say them and no one to say them to. I keep writing posts and having to delete them because censorship forbids me to print straight from my head. Truths and revelations keep leaking onto the "pages" like fat ink being wicked into wet paper; feathering out until all the paper is covered in dark eerie cross-hatched lines. Although denial has been largely discredited as a positive method of dealing with anything, I think that sometimes denial is the ONLY way to deal with impossible circumstances. I was brought out of denial briefly over this past few days and it was excessively icky. So I'm going to carefully rebuild a protective shell of denial around myself and also not read anything serious.

This is one of my favorite discoveries at Dave and Doe's house. So creepy and so cool I am full of envy that I never think of things like this! Philip does which is probably why he is such good friends with Dave. Talk about a creative re-use of something that would otherwise be in a landfill or in a hoarder's house!

My dog's sister Lulu is the sweetest girl and so cute! One of the biggest transformations I've personally experienced is going from being frightened of dogs for twenty five years and then learning to appreciate and even like dogs, to becoming a person who understands what it feels like to love a dog. I get it now, I really do! Dogs are very cool animals. I can no longer imagine life without them.

Succulents are another thing I used to disregard and even, to some degree, dislike. Why? I see it now! Succulents have been grabbing my attention lately and I find myself getting tangled up in their enchantment. They have secret lives, I'm quite sure.

I love this little succulent garden and I believe I'm going to have to create my own version of it. I have a sunken container full of hens and chicks and another (as yet) unidentified strange beast of a succulent that both need company.

The best thing that's happened to me in a very long time is that I have an interview for the part time job I covet the most. I get the chance I've been hoping for this coming Monday. Let's just all hope I don't go mess up my chance at this dream job by being a spazzy dork beyond the pale.

Hope you all have a great Wednesday!

It's All Blue Sky In Ayrshire

There are a few things I didn't bring with me: sunscreen, a hat, sandals, or tank tops for the excellent reason that the sun isn't supposed to shine in Scotland. Everyone says it. Everyone complains about it. Just like in Oregon. Since I've never been to Scotland when it wasn't winter I had to go with the common belief that it is always cold and overcast. I've forgotten that people routinely exaggerate about "poor" weather and that what might be cold to one person might actually kill another one with heat exhaustion.

It has been nothing but blue skies and warm weather until just today. I don't completely mind except for the constant discomfort I've been feeling from the warmth* and being in cars where people don't want the windows down.

This grassy verge is a lovely spot on the Culzean Castle grounds that looks out over the sea and is, in fact, a great spot to sit and kill other people with cannon fire. I know this because it was hilled up and lined with cannons a few hundred years ago and the cannons are still there. But forget about war for just a minute. Forget about history and people and be alone in your mind, just for a few minutes. The sky is clear blue for miles, the air up here is whipping your hair up and cooling your head, and the grass is speckled with the sweetest English daisies. If you sit here and forget all the fussing and clamoring of your family, your friends, your many many loved ones, I think all your troubles will slip away here.

You look out over the sea and in the distance you can see the shadow of the mainland. But who cares about the mainland when you are in the sweetest spot on the Isle of Aaron? Time can go to hell because there is almost music here. The daisies smile up at you like children who have yet to discover that life is not going to provide them with endless summer ice-cream cones. You can imagine that it's always early summer here. Before it gets unbearably hot. When there's still a freshening breeze. While we are still all thinking that the months are going to last forever.

I have had very little time to myself on this trip. I knew that would be the case since it's really not a trip that's about me. I accompanied a very large group of family and friends to Culzean Castle. I walked with them through the actual castle but as soon as I broke free of the antiquities within I went off by myself. I walked through an orangery filled with the intoxicating perfume of citrus blossoms. I walked fast across vast lawns and slowly along stone walls covered in tiny ferns and other unidentified pretty creepers. I ate a mediocre lunch at the cafe by myself and bought two Bronte books in the used bookstore on the grounds.

Eventually I made it to the one thing I was most keen on seeing. I realize now that I ought to have gone there first. The walled garden. It's beautiful. I wanted to lie down in the shade on the grass and count apple blossoms. I wanted to crawl through the borders to inspect the roses not yet in bloom and sniff at the peonies that were. I didn't get to spend as much time there as I would have liked. I love walled gardens. I want to build a wall around mine. I have a fence but fences rot and rotting fences don't feel as permanent as stone or brick walls.

I snore. I'm not happy about it. My sister couldn't sleep. Neither could I for worrying about her not being able to sleep. So I got myself a room next door at the Daviot where my brother had a room. This ceiling detail is at the Burnside Guest House. The Daviot had some of these wonderful plasters but not as many. Can I put some in my own house?

This is the staircase next door at the Daviot. Very pretty, isn't it? It became the treacherous stairs I later almost killed myself on. I swear I wasn't drunk. I slipped and I can't say it's done wonders for my back. I have some bruised bits as well.

What do you think of the carpet? I happen to be plaid happy. I put industrial plaid carpeting in our finished attic in the Beaver Street house. It always makes me happy to see it because you have to really have a sense of play to have something so bold. I loath the usual beige pile carpet so popular everywhere. I have to tell you that in the old houses here there is a lot of colorful carpet. The first place I've seen much beige is in the hotel we're in now.

Not super happy with self at the moment, however, I love this self portrait because details are washed out by the damn sunshine that has a special affinity for me and follows me where ever I go like a sad little Chihuahua that can't leave alone the one person in the room that doesn't like Chihuahua. Go away bright rays! Although, if it can erase all my flaws like this, maybe I should find a way to enjoy it more.

Rust is everywhere here because they use stone and metal for fences a lot more than they use wood. You must keep metal painted in a wet climate or it will rust. So much here is touched by age and decay and somehow when you use such sturdy materials it weathers more beautifully.

I don't know what this plant is but it was creeping up the garden walls at Culzean Castle and I love it. It looks similar to heather and yet prettier, plus it creeps up the wall and so doesn't take up valuable space as a clump.

I would like to be a black bird. This guy was hanging close to the cafe at Culzean Castle hoping for crumbs. On the other side of the battlements here is a big cliff and below it the sea.

The soldier's view. This is for Max because I so much wished he was there with me to see what a soldier with cannons would have seen. This piece of metal has blown holes in ships. Probably in flesh as well.

The wedding was yesterday. We are now in Glasgow in an apartment with two bedrooms a living room, bathroom, and kitchenette. We have left charming decor and entered the city life of business-man from the 80's taste**. everything is black and white (leather couches and dining room chairs) black curtains and white walls. It's pretty nice but is missing all the charm of the bed and breakfasts.

I'm tired. Very tired. I'm tired of talking to people I don't know. I need down time and alone time. I'm wishing I could extend my vacation by a couple more days so I can fully decompress from people. The wedding was lovely but it was long and it exhausted my reserves completely. My brother and sister are tired as well. None of us have had much sleep. None of us have been free to just do as we please. That's what the next two days are about.

I miss my Philip and wish he was here with me to just walk and take it all in. I wish he was here so we could talk about everything and I could enjoy his perspective. It's less work talking with him and being with him than with anyone else I know. I miss my Max too. I wish he had been with me when I found the giant bug on the iron fence opening into the walled garden. I took a picture, but if he had been there we could have entered into a lively discussion about his possible dangerousness. It was HUGE. I wish Max was with me to see the wall covered in weapons at Culzean Castle: an entire room covered in pistols and swords and rifles arranged artfully. It was amazing. I wasn't allowed to take pictures. I love you guys!

Most of you are awake now. My evening is in progress. Soon we'll head out to find food. All of us are planning to turn in on the early side.



*Perhaps it's hot flashes? An early menopause?

**This hotel is located in the business district, right downtown, across the street from the central train station so it caters to the business people.

Saag Paneer Goes Local

(overcoming specificity)

I am a very specific person. In every way. In every facet of life. There is no corner in my brain that doesn't have very specific guidelines for existing, for processing thought, for storing memory, or for experiencing life. This is why you will never find the word "relaxed" as a descriptor of my personality. When I get an idea for something I want to cook, therefore, it is always very specific. I am often trying to reproduce in my kitchen fond memories of food I've had out in the world. I don't want something "similar", I want the real McCoy.

I have always loved Indian food, though I have taken very long breaks from it at times, and there are some dishes that every good Indian restaurant serves that I want to be able to make at home. Saag Paneer is one of them. Palak Paneer is another one. My friend Chelsea loves Indian food more than I do and is on a long journey of discovery with variations on many dishes in her own kitchen. Lately she's got me hankering for a little Indian food. In McMinnville, if you want something as exotic as this it is best to make it at home.

I have a great Madhur Jaffrey book that Chelsea gave me with a recipe for Saag Paneer. I happened to have a ton of fresh local gorgeous spinach that it would have been a food crime to waste. But being in the middle of a lot of change prevents me from getting my elbows whey deep in cheese making so where the hell could I come up with some Paneer which is a kind of farmer's cheese? No where, that's where. So I channeled my many resourceful friends' spirits for the answer. It was happily right under my nose at the Hillsdale farmer's market this week end. The price was high enough to scare the pants off of Vincent Price.

We'll call it a splurge. Fresh mozzarella. This stuff is amazing. It isn't like that really spongy wet stuff that floats in water. It's more like feta curds, a little salty, and tasting like the kind of slightly more aged mozzarella that is actually my preference*. It has the texture of a farmer's cheese. Voila! There was my answer.

The recipe also called for slightly more spinach than I had, dried fenugreek leaves, and a fresh chili none of which my kitchen could furnish. No fears! I just used a jar of my home canned diced tomatoes, more onion than the recipe called for, and left out the pepper. (I didn't feel like defrosting one of my roasted frozen ones.)

The other major issue is rice. Although I have a very small amount of rice left and could have used it for this recipe. I wanted to see what it would be like to go way off the Indian map and serve this dish on polenta.

It was superb! With a little cayenne and a lot of ginger it was warming (we've got a chill back in the air here) and filling. The cheese was perfect- it didn't melt but added the perfect mellow foil to the spicy spinach. The spinach was like butter and now I'm craving a bucket-full of this dish. I restrained myself to just one serving, but I could easily have inhaled the whole mess of it. I feel totally rewarded in my efforts to be less specific when it comes to recreating something that lives in my taste bud hall of fame.

Baby update: they are both doing quite well. Very spunky and now that Pippa is a whole week and a half older than she was when we got her- she's playing with Penny and watching them leap around on each other is so cute I could just cry. They are (sadly) still continuing to show more bald spots. Penny's stomach is still distended which worries me but not the vet.

We have moved them out of the tub and into our other bathroom. The problem with this is that now we open the door and they bolt out in hopes of exploring. Chick is often camped out at the bathroom door and sometimes lunges at it with snarls. Then licks her chops. So obviously I'm concerned about the eventual introduction of kittens to dog. Such meetings will obviously be heavily supervised for quite some time.

Here's something that makes every day a pleasure: every time Pippa sees me come in she cranks up her purr machine immediately.

These are some busy times for us. Cooking really good food when you're overloaded with things to take care of can seem impossible and yet there's never a time when it's more important to have home cooked food. I find it relaxing and soothing to cook. It stresses me out to not have any time to do it. I actually made some potatoes that would have been fabulous if it hadn't been for the fact that they got burnt due to my washing the kittens and not turning off the oven first. No worries though. Apparently Philip likes to eat burnt bits. I ate the good stuff. They were Greek potatoes with lemon juice, olive oil, and oregano. The lemon juice came from my friend in California. If we hadn't been able to eat those potatoes I would have been devastated by the waste of such a precious commodity.

We have lots of papers to sign, babies to care for, and a boy who's gotten his first note sent to the principle by his teacher. To be honest, I don't think this punishment is deserved for his crime which was one of blurting out something apparently shocking to the class. He didn't use swear words and I think it really boils down to the fact that us Williamsons lead a much less gentle existence than many other people do. What Max blurted out wasn't directed to anyone in the class and so I have a hard time understanding why it wasn't enough to punish him with one lost recess instead of a string of them.

In fact, my boy is feeling very out of place at school. He's been complaining of being made fun of for his name. He doesn't take teasing in stride. (I'm trying to use this fact to help him understand how others might feel when he teases them). This is the part I didn't think through when deciding to have a baby. That I would have to watch him go through all the stupid awful crap I went through as a kid. Misfits generally give birth to more misfits and it is awfully difficult for Max to really hear us when we tell him how it's often the misfits who achieve the most amazing things in life and end up having the best friends and that some day he'll be glad to be who he is.

Today I have to complete my Master Gardening final exam because tomorrow is the last class. My friend Nicole is putting together a local food group for our county and I'm going to a meeting for that tonight. So much to do! I also have to fill out papers to renew my passport because in May I'm going to go to my dad's wedding in Scotland! Right now I'm trying to think of what articles I might be able to pitch to magazines to make good use of the trip and what magazines?

I was thinking about doing a piece on eating vegetarian in Scotland. (Potatoes and beer is where it's at! Ha! Oh, but also the pub soups...often there is a meatless choice and I've had some excellent ones.) Scotland is my favorite place on earth besides Oregon. Not surprising since they are a lot alike. Especially climate wise. I've never been to Scotland in the spring, only the winter which is when I generally prefer to travel. Maybe I'll get to see some roses?!

Oh my god. I just realized that there must be some public access historical gardens I could see. OH what a dream that would be!!! Oooh, I wonder if there are any monastery gardens there to see? Clearly research is called for. But I don't have time for that yet. I also have to prepare my taxes and I don't even know where to begin with that this year. What a mess!

*The stuff being sold as "fresh" that's soft and spongy is not my favorite. Sometimes if it is stored in oil with herbs it can be delicious but generally I find fresh mozzarella to be lacking in flavor or character. This is why I will never be considered a true epicurean. That and the fact that I don't eat any goat or sheep's cheese.

Shush. I heard you gasp in the back row!!