Apparently, men will spend about twice as much as women this Valentine's Day (via Instapudit):
I wonder if this is because Valentine's Day to women is more like Super Bowl Sunday for men? But did the women give gifts, help, free snacks etc. yesterday to their partners? This seems only fair.
Men will do the bulk of the shopping this year, the survey found. The average male is expected to spend $168.74 – nearly twice as much as women – on clothing, jewelry and greeting cards, among other things.
I wonder if this is because Valentine's Day to women is more like Super Bowl Sunday for men? But did the women give gifts, help, free snacks etc. yesterday to their partners? This seems only fair.
posted by Helen Smith at 6:56 AM
24 Comments:
While my wife and I stick to a budget and spend the same amount on each other, I like her knowing that I love and treasure her. Sure, most of the way I let her know is not through a present, but the presents, and most especially the cards of holidays mean a lot to her and I want to speak her language so she feels how much I care for her.
For me, I feel loved when she gets me music because she knows I want it, and gets it even though she doesn't understand why I want more!
So here is an early Happy Valentine's Day to everyone here. I am eager to see what responses this engenders.
Trey
I don't engage in Hallmark Day. Occupationally that lands me in the dog house but rarely. It was an established fact prior to getting married so nobody is surprised when Feb 14th is treated like any other day.
I try and bring flowers home once a month. You can find a nice bunch of random flowers for around $10-$15 and if you put them in fresh water when you get home they'll look nice for at least a week. You can get off cheaper at the grocery store but they won't last as long.
Yikes, auto correct. Occasionally not occupationally...
Not being in a relationship, I'll blow a couple hundred bucks go-kart racing on V-day, for a much better return on my money than in most years past.
HMT, a good and viable strategy. Thanks for sharing it, I will endeavor to copy you.
Trey
southern man, my wife and i want to rent a ferrari for a day.....maybe some valentine's day in the not too near future!
Wow, a ferrari would be fun!
I am not sure I could afford the speeding tickets though.
Trey
Valentine's Day is bullshit. I've never understood how guilting someone into doing something is remotely romantic.
Helen,
You often bring up differences between men and women, then declare a double standard. Sometimes I agree with you and sometimes I don't. I am pretty neutral about Valentine's Day. If a man wants to spend more than the woman or even if he is expected to, it doesn't matter to me, nor does it bother me.
I often times think that much of what you focus on is as wrong headed as what feminista's focus on. Men and women are different. Men and women fundamentally think and act differently. To go along with this, different things are expected of the different sexes. The reality is that there isn't anything wrong with that. Trying to set up a grievance mentality is more destructive than the actual double standards.
Women, by and large, have shot themselves in the foot with much of the feminist drivel. The best lesson to be learned here is for men to not shoot themselves in the foot by trying to turn themselves into victims the way women have turned themselves into victims.
I like that you point out a lot of the hypocrisy that goes into the feminist movement, particularly their own innate sexism. However, I wish you would be more productive with some of your comments. I don't think this post is very productive. I see nothing wrong with men typically spending more than women. Men typically make more and like buying things for their women. Most of my the womne I've been with spent less on me than I spent on them, but they thought of me as much as I thought of them; they just didn't express it with the dollar sign as much as I did.
Bringing up every little difference and claiming victimhood only breeds resentment, as if there shouldn't be any difference when anyone who knows anything about men and women knows there is. A little understanding, and appreciation, of the differences from both sides goes a long way. The main problem is the idea that double standards are always bad, when, of course, most of the time it's at most neutral, and many times it's good.
Regards,
Ken
"If a man wants to spend more than the woman or even if he is expected to, it doesn't matter to me, nor does it bother me."
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Well, it bothers me. Because lots of men still don't get it. Chivalrous men are going to get used today ten ways to Sunday, and I am seeing this all around me. The little "homemaker" (read: housewife) is not there because she is sacrificing for her family, for instance, she is there because work is a bitch. I am watching a relative right now who married a second wife, told everyone how caring she was, and now that he has Alzheimer's she robbed him blind and then threw his carcass back to the family to care for. Maybe YOU don't understand women, ever thought of that?
_______________________________
"Men typically make more and like buying things for their women."
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If men make more, it is because they have to. Young women in metro areas - look up the statistics - are far outpacing men as to earnings in the same types of jobs (for instance engineer). Women are getting 3/4 of college degrees today (but admittedly sometimes in absolute nonsense areas like women's studies).
I would really suggest, Ken, that YOU don't know what is going on today at all.
I think *some* men have gotten it throughout the ages. The German philosopher Schopenhauer, for instance.
I remember the line in a Sean Connery film when the young secretary said she didn't know why ON EARTH a guy in the office was giving her presents. His response was, "I guess for the usual reason".
Women are what they are. No more and no less. I know that chivalrous men who build them up to be something they are not - who put them up on a pedestal - are absolutely wrong about their nature in general. They are human beings, not godesses. And if you think they are godesses, you are going to be used and exploited.
Maybe you want that.
I used to feel sorry for men who got used by women.
I am changing that mindset based on experience.
For the guys who say, "No wife of mine will ever work" and the like, I wish you every bit of alimony and asset transfers that you get in life. More if I could determine it. And remember that tough guys like you don't whine, so just write the check.
I've been on a Web site on a different topic for a few years.
Some of the guys who say that they know women, they've got their woman trained, they are the king who pays for the woman ... have gotten divorced. Well, two of them who have admitted it.
Now they are singing a different song. One guy sounds suicidal at handing his entire life over to his ex-wife (financed by HIS work - I would move to Australia and take on a new name, seriously).
But I know it won't happen to YOU, because YOU are YOU, and nothing bad happens - ever - to YOU.
And that is how "chivalrous men" think. It's not going to happen to me, and I'm in competition with all other men, so I am happy when it happens to them, and not me.
Really sick fuckers.
Will, what are you in competition with us about?
What does the winner get?
Trey
Rephrase for TMink:
And that is how "chivalrous men" think: "It's not going to happen to me, and I'm in competition with all other men, so I am happy when it happens to them, and not me."
To answer the good Doctor's last question: Mine was helpful, yes, but for us Superbowl Sunday is just another excuse to get together with good friends and good food.
DOH! Sorry for my poor reading skills. I appreciate you responding in a kind manner. Good on ya.
Trey
But the answer to answer TMink's question, "What does the winner get?" is, 'screwed'. - but usually not in the way they might hope...
March 14.
When I was a kid, "Be My Valentine" cards were passed around in the classroom, halls, and lunch room. Everyone had a box of heart shaped sugar candy rattling in their pockets and purses. Good clean fun.
In young adulthood, it moved to candle light dinner, chocolates, sexy underclothing, etc. Yeah, the female expects presents of a particular nature, and the male expects a night of incredible love making (if the couples' hearts are in the same place) or at least good sports sex if nothing else.
I find it humorous that women are somehow taught not to give that stuff away for free, and men are taught that it isn't free. As someone said in a post on this blog somewhere (within the last six years) having sex changes all the rules. If she "gives it up" you owe her. I have had many wonderful friends of the opposite sex in my life. Some of these friendships were ruined by the rules getting changed. Friends with benefits rarely works out for long. My oldest friend is female - 50 years this year. We have been lovers at various times in our lives, but have also remained the closest of friends, communicating almost daily, to this day. I have no idea how we have done it, but we enjoy each other to no end.
Funny, we both feel, and have discussed it many times, that marriage would probably have destroyed our incredible friendship.
cma, that made me laugh. Glad I had already swallowed my coffee.
Trey
Mark,
Well, it bothers me.
Then don't spend more on your woman than she spends on you. Why are you such a busybody you worry about what other people do? Mind your business.
Because lots of men still don't get it.
Ahh, yes, the condescension. Other men are stupid because they don't think like you. You are know the one true path all men should take. You "get it". Others don't, amaright? Plainly put, you're an arrogant prick.
If men make more, it is because they have to.
False. Men can choose to go Galt at any time. And you're wrong on your statistics. While true, when comparing apples to apples women make the same as men, but the reality is that men work longer hours and have more years of work experience, on average, when compared to women. This is why I said the typical man makes more than the typical woman. The typical man doesn't have to work longer hours or more years. It's a choice. A choice you hate that they make.
You are a true buffoon Mark. Get a grip.
I thought the counterpoint to Valentine's day was steak and blowjob day. (March 14)
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