Games' most ridiculous getups

Nothing says “I’m a competent combatant and a smart scientist” like a butterfly mask, tassels and matching G-string.
Winda Benedetti

A regular feature in the MSNBC gaming section is the Top 5 list. Many are what you'd expect: action games, strategy games, game villians, etc. This week's was a good one: Top 5 most preposterous getups in games. Reviewer Winda Benedetti channels Nina Garcia in choosing her top 5 examples of an "Absurd Outfit Obviously Dreamed Up By A Man."

Damn.

I had thought we were going to have a considerable audience of gamers and science fiction and fantasy fans. I thought easily with those we'd have 50,000 or more [buyers], but when people began to write me [with questions] about what fantasy books to read, and I saw the wide range of both younger and older people who were attracted to the game, I understood that it was reaching a deeper chord, something deep within us.
Gary Gygax

Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons and Dragons, has died.

Until today I did not know we shared a birthday.

Atari, Adventure, and when to ignore your boss

Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!
Strong Bad

Last week Brenda Tremblay reported that the Atari 2600 game console was inducted into the National Toy Hall of Fame. As a "Nationally Ranked Kaboom Champion," she was pulling for the Atari. It was my first choice as well, but not because of Kaboom. My preferred game is Adventure.

I love Adventure. I played it constantly, searching for and recovering the Chalice too many times to count. To this day I know my way around the various castles, rooms, mazes, and catacombs. I never cared that the dragons looked more like ducks and the sword was just an arrow. It was fun and addictive.

The game was created by Warren Robinett, and it is groundbreaking in many ways. Game elements we take for granted now, like a multi-screen world and objects you can pick up, were unprecedented back then. It is also the first example of truly autonomous entities moving throughout the game on their own, regardless of what you are doing. Left unattended, the bat will fly through the game moving stuff around forever. That Robinett could fit this on 4096 bytes of ROM and run it with only 128 bytes of RAM is a programming achievement in and of itself. (To put it in perspective, that's about 0.0004% of what the cheapest Dell comes with by default.)

There is great story behind its inception. Here's how Robinett tells it in one of several interviews:

I started in May 1978 and worked like a madman for a month. My boss, George Simcock, heard what I was working on and didn't think I could do it within the 2600 resources and told me not to do it. However I ignored him and had a prototype with screen to screen movement and dragons chasing you after a month of hacking.

There is another great story that lead to what is considered the first "easter egg." Although each game was typically written by one person, Atari did not give the creator any credit. Robinett decided he wanted to sign his work, so he found a way to sneak his signature in. He added a hidden object to the game, a 1x1 pixel dot that gives the player access to a secret room. In the room is the following text: "Created by Warren Robinett." This remained a secret long after the game's release. By the time Atari found out what he did, it was too late to change the game and he had already quit.

I have an original Atari 2600 "heavy sixer" with the six switches on the front, but the last time I tried it didn't work. Maybe I should get it out and see if I can get it working again. Then I'll be back searching once more for the elusive Chalice.

What fore?

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

Dave Barry

It's over a week ago now, as I was on vacation in New Hampshire (more on that, maybe later). Still, I figured I throw out my this little story of a rare event that happens now and then: me playing golf. My company has an annual customer shmooze-fest of a golf outing at an exclusive golf club in northwest NJ. Every now and then I get to go, usually because there's a customer I've been working with who's playing.

So this year I was out again, on a beautiful day in June, golfing. Or, at least something that remotely resembles golfing. I am not good. When I signed up for the outing, I was asked for my handicap. I have no idea what it is, but I'll bet it's a big number.

I do own clubs (the cheapest used clubs eBay had to offer), and a pair golf shoes, so I was marginally equipped. I managed to run afoul of the country club dress code because my shorts have pockets on the sides (e.g. cargo shorts). Mind you even shorts are a recent concession of the country club's owners. Luckily I ran into someone with a company card in the pro-shop, so I was able to score a free pair of compliant shorts.

I have to admit I had a lot of fun. Maybe it's the Scot in me. It helped that the game was low-key. The format of the tournament was a "scramble" where the foursome plays as one and uses the best shot from the team on each leg. I played with an easy-going group willing to offer helpful tips that actually improved my game. By the end, I managed to contribute a few good shots.

I'd prefer a course less saturated with lawn chemicals (after all, they didn't need them when the game was created). And is denim really so awful? I guess a private club means lots Judge Smails types (and there were plenty). You probably see less of that on public courses. However, I probably won't be playing again until the next company freebie. That, in itself, is a good thing, as golf balls aren't cheap (even the bottom-of-the-barrel ones I bought at Target), and I lost plenty of them....

Call me Uncle Pennybags

Advance token to nearest Railroad and pay owner Twice the Rental to which he is entitled.
Chance card in Monopoly

That phrase signaled the end of the game for my daughter this past weekend. It was anyone's game until then. In order to come up with the $400 rent, she had to sell off all her houses and mortgage two of her last three properties. I did the only appropriate thing for a loving father to do at this point: I danced around laughing and shouting, "IN YOUR FACE! IN YOUR FACE!"

That's a joke! Geeez! What do you take me for?

Actually, I said she played a good game, told her it was bad luck, and noted that had I hit her houses first, it would have gone the other way (which it would have). Of course, I did still take her money and build two more houses on Boardwalk and Park Place, just to make sure. And I said, "Sorry honey," right before I asked for the $1400 rent that officially bankrupted her. For the record, she's won several games of Monopoly in the past.

Sharon had taken my younger daughter to a birthday party in hell, I mean Chuck E. Cheese. My oldest and I were home, and I asked what she wanted to do. It was hot out, and she'd already ridden her new bike for an hour, so she asked if we could play a game. First we played Stratego. She picked that, I swear. Then (and I am not making this up) she asked if we could play Risk. I said that would probably take too long to play, so she suggested Monopoly, which we did. We both had a really good time playing games. I'm psyched that she has my love of board games.

After the game, we headed up to the school where she rode her new bike around the parking lot while I flew a kite. A nice finish to a great afternoon.

Gettin' Fuzzy

Germany doesn't do everything perfectly... go ask Poland
-Rob Wilco
Get Fuzzy

Darby Conley's Get Fuzzy is a satisfying little comic strip. I say satisfying, because I always feel like reading the strip was time well spent, as opposed to some that leave me wishing I hadn't bothered. It isn't always laugh out loud funny, but it has this wry humor.

Not to mention that its main character, Rob Wilco, is one of us. I've been behind in the dailies, but I just caught up. Sharon told me that Rob was defending his love of D&D last week, and this week he's brewing beer. Today, he explains to Bucky and Satchel (his dog and cat, respectively) that the best beer is Belgian.

Right on, Rob!

Catching up on old business

I want to sqaure up all Family accounts tonight.
-Michael Corleone
The Godfather

It has been too long since I've last posted, so I want to get a few things out of the way here.

First, I never mentioned the great D&D game Rob ran a few weeks ago. I got to play a Druid, and let me tell you, they're cool! There were many cool moments in the game, where our biggest challange proved to be a gorge whose bridge collapsed. Thanks to a viper hiding in a tree, my character got accross the river on a dolphin back (long story there). There was also the great moment when the gnome sorcerer lept from the back of the dwarf that was carrying her up the cliff and fired off a set of magic missles mid-air to take out one of the lizard men. And let us not forget the single-minded play of the dwarf barbarian (INT 8).

Next let me just quickly seeth as Dubya pats himself on the back while signing the intelligence reform bill he was dead set against until he saw the polling numbers. I can see him laughing at the obscene irony of his flip-flop attacks Kerry. Grrrrrr.

Next let me say that the living room is done! Mind you, the hallway isn't, but soon.... I'll save one story there for another post.

Hmmm, is there anything else? well, the tree is up. Now I just need to finish the buildings on the layout. I guess that means enough time-wasting here.

I Killed Scrub and Other Stories

I just looked and it's been a week since I posted. Yow.

Starting with last Friday, I've been working in the city again. Much to my family's chagrin, I've been catching the 7:43 out of Princeton Junction. I've reserved my train meditation for another post....

It was an interesting location at lease, the UN independent Investigation into the Iraq Oil for Food Program. It was trivial filler work - configuring some Cisco network switches and helping with set up some PCs. Every so often you'd hear a snippet of work-related conversation from someone that made you want to eavesdrop, but I didn't.

The shed is really done now. The window sill is rebuilt, sort of. And I vacuumed the whole thing and straightened a lot. Now all the tools are put away. It's done. Except for that sticking door....

We also took the kids to Chuck E. Cheese for a birthday party. If you have never gone there, avoid it like the plague. It is a scary place. Fear it. They heap such adoration on this pizza hocking rat, whipping the children into a frenzy of anticipation for his eventual appearance. I was waiting for them to suddenly shout, "KNEEL! KNEEL BEFORE CHUCK E.!!!!"

Oh yeah, we played D&D Friday night. It was a good game with many wights and vampires (oh my). I managed to take over Sharon and Kathy's characters at one point. Then poor Scrub got left alone, hiding in the hall from the frightening vampires. Scrub was a pitiful little orc that Rob's character took pity on. Unfortunately for him, the hall was right where a pair of pissed of wights returned to the scene of the crime. Scrub didn't know what hit him....

Alas poor Scrub. We hardly knew ye.