11 years have passed..

The wife and I are glued to the History Channel as the events of that day are played through from hundreds of different angles and viewpoints and even now, more than a decade later how unreal it seems, we are watching that unfurl on TV.  I’m not going to rehash what I was doing back then, those memories have already seen the light of day and are living in my archives.  I’m going to look at what has happened since then.  At that time I was a mechanic at the low end of the pay scale, single, struggling and then, in the space of a smoky morning, I had direction and goals.  On a terrible day, my life took a turn for the better, I found my calling back in skills that I had shelved and in pursuing that new life, I found that I liked taking pictures, writing and eventually, the strange girl of my dream.  Now, 11 years down the road, I’m 2 years out from a retirement, I have friends all over the world. 

So instead of mourning this year, which is hard watching what we are watching, I’m going to celebrate and be thankful for what I have now.   My wife, my friends and my family and the fact that we all made it to the other side.   I haven’t forgotten but do believe we’ve punished those who were responsible, chasing them all over the globe and when they poked their head out from under a rock, squashed them like a bug and now the biggest bug is dead.  Now it’s time to heal and close some of those wounds and go back to being the land of the free.  Get back to being healthy and happy, I don’t know about you, I’m a bit weary about being a nation suffering from PTSD and I’m sure winning hearts and minds only lasts for so long. 

Crap, this blog post is hard to write while I’m watching people jump out of buildings and people screaming.  Anyway, I’m glad we got the main asshat responsible for this.  I’ll never forget but I was raised by a bunch of forgivers, I have no problem forgiving the dead.

I am the proud parent of a Canon 7d

As most of my readers know, I'm a picture taking fool and it's something I deeply enjoy doing. In a couple of years, I'm going to have to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. I enjoy seeing life through a lens and when I can, putting it down in written form. Last week I took a step towards the rest of my life by sinking a great wad of cash into this camera, a Canon 7d.

my new baby

While I'm an alright Corpsman, I have a bug inside of me that forces me to document everything, lay it all out on film or write stories about it. Four trips to Iraq, 40 thousand pictures and 200 gigs of personally taken video say something, that there is something wrong with me, I'm a picture hoarder. At least with the advent of digital media all it takes is a fairly cheap hard drive to hold all of my passion in (and lots of back ups).

picture taken with the 7d at the doggie park

But eventually I want to make something of that photo bug that tosses and turns inside of me and buying this camera is a step in that direction. 3 years from now, I'll need to find a new job, something to keep food on the table, roof over my head, kibble for the mutts and my wonderfully beautiful wife in hair dye and cute shoes. Might as well do that by doing something that I love.

Margot

My wife is going to grad school up in San Jose and she got this idea in her head that I'm too lonely down here in Lemoore by myself during the week and needed some company. So after a couple of weeks of searching around online, we went out with Gatsby (our 5 year old faithful mutt) to check out some of the selection she had found. I figured I would let Gatsby make the final choice since he's really the four footed boss around the house. We met the first two dogs on the brides list, Venus, who was a was a shy little black and white dog who had a great liking for eating cat poop (3 pieces while we met) and Margot, an Australian Cattle Dog, who was a bundle of energy just a little bit smaller the Gatsby. Gatsby and Margot got along like 2 peas in a pod so the choice was made.

Since then, they continue to get along good, it took less then a week to get her potty training back (which was better then Gatsby) but she has a real problem that I'm really trying to shake. If it's an object small enough to lift comfortably, she'll chew it up. This list includes, books (all of Sherri Tepper), wires, power supplies (one of my externals), shoes (2 sets of Vans, my killer bunny slippers and an old pair of my wifes boots), CD's, white out, medical tape and the total destruction of stuffed animals. Bitter Apple doesn't seem to work so instead of despairing, she's given me an excuse to make some lifestyle changes. My house is becoming doggy and baby proof and neater at the same time, good changes but I do miss the use of that external.

Here's the latest family picture.

8 Years

I’ve written about this before and don’t think I can improve on what I wrote here and here, the details were fresher on my mind. 8 years later and 9/11 was one of those events in my life that totally shaped how my entire future would turn out. Two buildings tumbling down in a city 3000 miles awake shook everything, the repercussions rang the world like a bell and I think that ringing will echo for a long long time. In a sense, my life split in two that day. There was the person I was before which included my early Naval Service then getting out and going to school and taking up work as a mechanic, I was carefree and living for the moment. Then 9/11 where the shock of the events pushed me outside of my life and I looked down at doing and knew, it wasn’t where I was supposed to be at. The next day, I signed back up with the Navy and a couple weeks later, I was back in, minus a rank.

Two years and five months later, I was making my first trip into Iraq and eventually I would spend over 2 years of my life in that desert. This dry and inhospitable place soon became my home away from home, humans can get used to anything. In many ways, in my journeys into the war zone, I was lucky. No one I cared about died nor was I hurt but I could see the toil that repeated trips was were having. To me, to my fellow military members, war changes you and the person who went in isn’t the same person who comes out the other side.

It’s strange to say but for the troops on the ground, this might be the safest war ever conducted. We had the best gear protective gear ever issued to a military force, yes there are deaths but compare the numbers to any other war or any major battle and it’s a drop in the bucket. We were surviving, running through 120 degree heat carrying around 80 pounds of battle gear and more often than not, making it home whole. In body at least. ORM, Operational Risk Management was the key phrase, we get more safety briefs then most people in the civilian world could imagine and as boring as they are, they seem to be working.

So many changes have happened since I came back in, medically, we’re now tracking all of our immunizations online, our notes are now written on a networked system. There are still bugs being worked out but I wonder what the result will be in 10 years? Military medicine in the 90’s was basically unchanging and now, the changes are so fluid and fast moving that if you turn your back, you won't recognise what's waiting for you at your desk.

This month, I’m re-enlisting for probably the last time, I’m 4 and a half years out from my 20 and I’m going to have to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. Hopefully it involves hanging out with the wife and dog alot. I’m proud to have taken part in these great events, when I’m talking to my grand kids, I can say, "I was there", and if they are so inclined, they can come back here and catch a snapshot of what I went though. They’ll see the gaps and wonder, what happened there and I’ll still have a few tales left to tell.

House

We’re moving into housing this weekend, after being without a home for 2 months, I’m missing my own bed. Growing up, I never imagined that I would have lived so many places nor move around as much as I have since joining the Navy. Three years here and four years there, it’s definitely kept me on my toes but at the end of the day, I’m wondering where I’m going to end up at. Five more years and I have to find something else to do with my life.

Lemoore is doing me good, it’s much nicer seeing the bride every weekend and being closer to the son and not worrying about being sent away to the other side of the world for a while. I feel at peace, well except for Saturday night coming out and seeing all of those broken windows. Then, I felt like Batman probably does. I don’t think I’ll be settling there, like New Orleans, it’s a nice place to visit but I don’t think I want to stay. Some interesting places to see in Northern California and my wife wants to share them all with me. I’m game, just a bit safety conscious.

Hope everyone is doing well out there in cyberville, I’m off to bed and on to another day.

In Scottsdale, a mild stress attack and some karma rebuilding

I flew into San Diego the day before yesterday and did something so ignorant that I felt like banging my head into the nearest wall. I had flown down without the key to the car that I had left in San Diego, they were on the keychain to my truck. After a few minutes of pure panic, yes, it was very pure, I calmed down and called my wife, she said she would overnight them too me and that I should spend my last night in San Diego hanging out with buddies and we ended up having a great time, thanks Dang!  With a few words, my bride had calmed me down, it was more of a problem in my head then anything else, just had to remember that this was my town and I did have a lot of friends about to call on in times of need.

So yesterday, my keys arrived at my old landlords office at 10:30 and she told me it was fate that I would stop by and see her again, I caught another ride to base and I was off to Arizona and pulled into my dad’s around 7 PM.  I think I was asleep by 9:30, that stress attack had worn me down.

Today, I looked around my pops place and thought, my dad needs someone one to take care of some of these projects he has sitting around. Not my step mom, she’s busy enough as it is. You see, my father is a hoarder, he has worked with electronics as long as I can remember and his place is loaded down with obsolete junk and he seems to pick more up every time I see him. Being a minor hoarder myself, I know what he’s going through, it overwhelms you. There’s too many projects to do and it’s hard when you have piles of craziness lying around that need to be sorted.

So together we looked about to discover some projects that my talents could be put to use, the back glass door had hung up since he moved in, I said I would fix that, there was a pile of cleaning supplies sitting out on the back porch, he explained that he said that he wanted to put a sliding shelves under the sink, yup, I could do that and his grass was all splotchy, green and tan and yucky all over.  Mostly due to the 6 broken sprinkler heads, can do. So I went to Lowe’s and purchased the sprinkler heads and some rollers for the door, for the shelf, we used some sliders he had sitting about and some laminated particle board that just happened to be on his back porch.

I told him to go back to programming (that what he does) and sent started off with the back door so we could turn the A/C back on, it actually took 3 tries with his help to get it properly set, the spacing where the rollers were wrong and we had to drill an extra hole and put a spacer in but at the end of the day, it worked fine. The sprinklers, while dirty and muddy only took an hour in the hundred degree sun of digging. We argued around the idea of the shelf for a while and I think my idea of the sliders underneath prevailed. Picture below.

Tonight we went to the DAV for a spaghetti dinner on his tab and a couple of beers. Tomorrow, I plan on just hanging out with friends, yes, you Sherri and Leslie and see my uncle Larry. With all of the cursing I did in my head on Monday, I needed to balance out the karmic scales with some good deeds which have been taken care of. Have a great night everyone.

Naval Air Station Fallon Nevada

I should be getting orders sometime this upcoming week to that area of the world. Over the last few days, I’ve been mildly distracted by research in the area and over the last day have taken to reading the local paper, the Lahontan Valley News, it has an online site with a comments section on the stories. It‘s interesting reading the local stories and seeing the comments of people who were actually involved in them. 

A little about the area. Fallon is located 60 miles east of Reno NV, has a population of 7500 in the city proper and one of the major employers of the area is NAS Fallon, home of TOPGUN since the Marines took over Miramar.

I’m going to miss the ocean, beach and beauty of southern California. I really do love the area but my wife is going to grad school in northern California and my son lives in Sacramento. I’m about to hit the 15 year mark in my career and I think it’s time to make some sacrifices for the family. It’s closer to both of them, not quite as close as the NAS Lemoore I wanted but 200 miles closer then where I’m at. Inside, there are parts of me that do miss the qualities of living in a small town and if anything, it’s not where you’re at, it’s who your with. I’m looking forward to working with a new crew.

My first Tattoo

The night my wife flew into town, after pizza and before we went over to my uncles, we went out exploring the local area and stopped into a tattoo parlor to see some of their work. One of the designs caught my eye and after talking to the artist, Alex Ramirez of EZ-Tattoo about ideas, I put down a deposit and made an appointment for Wednesday night, 3 days hence. I might be the last person at my workplace to get a tattoo and I definitely am out of my group of peers out of high school plus married to a girl with quite a few of her own, it wasn’t a rash decision.

We came back, Alex got gear ready and suddenly with a little bit of pain, I was marked for life with the end of the dragon tail. Three hours and some change later, I had a green beast of myth on my arm that I’m very happy with. I think some in my family is a bit disappointed in me, I might be the first “Dustman” of my line to get a tattoo but at 36, I think I can make my own decisions on such matters.

Silver Lining

The bubble has burst and watching the news, they make it almost seem like we’ve reached a point of no return. After a decades of the stock market going up and millions of American's joining the ranks of home owners, the tide has turned. Words like deflation, recession, depression are catch phrases that are flowing off people’s tongues. In the midst of this, some people are breathing a sigh of relief. The people who have rented instead of buying, who have lived paycheck to paycheck, who didn’t listen to the advice of their elders, didn’t gamble their money on stocks, the slackers, this time is a blessing, in the short term anyways. If you do have a job that hasn’t been affected the downturn, you’ve lucked out and your hard earned dollars are reaching further then they were just a few months ago. The horrid term called deflation has kicked in, gas prices are falling and the price of goods are going down. Businesses are worried, deflation is horrible for them but for us the consumer, tired of inflation, this is a windfall that we should take advantage off.

I admit it, I’m a renter, I don’t own a single stock but I do own some property in Arizona. When I first moved to San Diego, my wife and I had a roommate and we rented a 4 bedroom house in Mira Mesa for 2200 dollars a month. The house was for sale for 700,000 which would have given us house payments close to 5000 dollars. I couldn’t imagine spending that kind of money on a place to live plus not buying saved us 3800 a month and for the year we lived there saved us $45,600. Not that I see that sitting about but I’m sure I would be a poorer person right now, both emotionally and financially then I would have been if I had bought. While many people I know did opt to join that dream and buy a house, I knew it wasn’t my time. I had people all around me saying that I should buy a house but I held tough. I don’t know where I’m going to end up after I retire but I doubt it’s going to be in San Diego unless I become independently wealthy but I’m not holding my breath. I love the city but living here comes with a premium price tag and a body needs to work too hard to just make ends meet plus, I’ve seen too many people who couldn’t make that cut. I’d rather survive then have to live through some of their stories.

So enjoy this reprieve we’ve been granted and hope the genius’ in DC can fix what ails our financial market without causing further inflation or the total collapse of civilization. Remember, it’s political season and I’m not telling you who to vote for, just vote.

Debrief on the Milblog Conference

If there was an overall theme at the conference, it was that we do make a difference. When I looked around the room, I could see how much we had all grown over the last 4 years. It’s strange to think I’ve done the blogging thing longer then a regular enlistment. In that room, I could count off the people who have been involved in feature documentaries, appearances on radio and TV, here alone, we have raised hundreds of thousands of dollars towards causes like Valour-IT (voice activated laptops for troops) and Soldiers Angels. At the same time, we’re not the fresh face, CNN, FOX and the Washington Post weren’t out in the lobby waiting to interview us like last year. But there were representatives from the Pentagon and Navy and Army PAO’s who thought what we had to say was important and this time, they seemed as well versed as us about blogging. New media is taking a larger slice of the information pie every year and milbloggers offer a viewpoint that neither regular media nor the official channels can match.

LTG Caldwell was invited to give the opening speech and here it the video.

I was awarded the Navy Milbloggie for the second year in a row and believe me, I’m far from a rock star, stick a mic in front of me and my brain goes blank, seriously, I'm a total dork. I didn’t start writing to become famous; I just wanted to tell a story. I was about to go to war and having a blog would keep people from forgetting me if I didn't make it back. When I started, it was only for a few friends, I couldn’t have cared less at the time whether or not anyone read what I wrote but over the years, this little project has taken a life of its own and I have met life long friends. It was nice to know there were people out there who cared and to be voted the top Navy blogger (twice), it’s humbling because I know there are many writers who are worlds better than me, two top my list Lt Nixon Rants and Lex come to mind. I hate to admit it, I probably won because I've became a household name, in these circles people say Sean and silently add from Doc in the Box. My win probably had more to do with name recognition, networking and everyone and their dog knowing me then the quality of my written word (maybe a little bit to do with me being super friendly too). Thanks for the votes guys! I owe you and your dog a beer.

The rest of the winners are below

U.S. Military Parent Some Soldier's Mom Carla lives in my home town and she's shown me worlds of support, thanks

U.S. Military Supporter Chromed Curses LL is one of favorite blog people

U.S. Air Force OPFOR I don't actually hang out with these guys but they have a large readership.

U.S. Army Toby Nunn's Briefing Room Was a cool cat at the pre-conference party, there's pictures someplace out there, there are so many good Army Milblogs, it's hard to make a choice.

U.S. Navy Doc in the Box Of course me

U.S. Marine Corps One Marine's View it was a toss up between him and Taco Bell, both are great bloggers

U.S. Military Veteran Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love What can I say about Matt, Jimbo, Laughing Wolf and Mr. Wolf that hasn't been said? They're rock stars of the blogging world and I'm proud to have them as friends plus, they know how to throw a mean party.

U.S. Military Spouse ArmyWifeToddlerMom She's going to have to change her blog name pretty soon, her kids are almost in school. R is a social butterfly like me, everyone knows and loves her.

Two Weeks Back

It was around 8 Monday night when we got off the plane, I came back in a smaller group of 25 people who weren’t part of the greater bulk of Marines who filled the rest of the flight going back to the states so when we hit the ground, the rest of them were making a formation while we milled around for a second then broke for the crowd. My wife was standing out of the gaggle like a pink jewel and we flew into each other’s arms and I can honestly say, that was one of the happiest moments of my life because for a time I thought it would never reach that moment again. The past deeds had been washed away and all that remained from that forge of the fire was our love for each other.

We stated at the Old Town Inn for 89 dollars a night which was really a great deal considering Comic Con was about to go on. (Sorry to all of you romantics, this is also going to be a post about good deals in San Diego for the Military). No, we didn’t have tickets to the Con which I was mildly disappointed about but I wasn’t sure if I was going to be back in time, next year we’re going to dress the occasion.

Tuesday we went out apartment shopping, I had in mind this gettoish apartment complex close to base because the bride wasn’t going to be living down here because she’s going to grad school up north but managers never showed up which ended up being a blessing. We went from place to place no one had a place available till we got to the one I’m in now. I opened the door to the office and there was a big bookshelf filled with books and I know, this is it.

We sat down and talked to the manager and she just had an opening which she was saving for someone else but she broke her leg and the apartment was on the second floor. I took it, not only was it cheaper, larger and had a nice deck but was the only apartment complex in the area that let you have dogs (for when Gatsby visits). It also has some of the better tropical landscaping that I’ve seen in San Diego. Nothing could go wrong this week, I'm home.

After getting the apartment, we went to the local ITT office (Information, Tickets and Travel) and see what they had to offer, we picked up some first run movie tickets at 8.50 a pop, saving 2 dollars a ticket, Hornblower Cruise normally 25 dollars was another 8. One Zoo ticket for Heather 26.50 and I was in free with Military ID. That afternoon we went to see Hellboy II and the next morning was off to the zoo. We took the sky ride to rear of the park and zigzagged our way back towards the gate. Not a bad way to spend the day, let me tell you, it’s a lot of walking.

I went back to work on Friday to take care of some post deployment paperwork and get online to print a Heroes Salute pass. Military families can get one free family pass annually to SeaWorld with ID. Actually there are several places that are free from there, SeaWorld is just the closest for me, you’ll have to check the site.

Saturday we met up there with my other son Alec from Prescott (my hometown, Alec is not my real son but Collin and him do look remarkably alike and I claim him most of the time), his mom Lynnae (whom I’ve known most of my life) sister Karma and stepdad Alex . Good times, I’m glad Lynnae and the bride got to finally meet.

On Sunday we went on the 2 hour Hornblower cruise around the bay. Saw the seals over by Point Loma to the south side of 32nd Street, probably one of the best 8 bucks I ever spent, if you’re local, don’t miss it.

Stepping back into the LPO position Monday was a definite shift, I had done a switch-a-roo with the guy going out, new faces, new issues, new bosses, a lot to take in all at once. One issue at a time and don’t let any one thing take all of the focus. Lovely NMCI had messed up my computer access so I was a work computer for most of the week which gave me time to tackle the problems that needed face and foot time (normally the things I handle after the computer time) and it seemed to work. Took a lot of notes and got a pass down ready for the guy taking my place when I go on leave 9 days later.

Even though I got back in July, while we’re deployed forward we earn “combat leave”, we’re tax free when we’re out there and earning 2.5 days a leave a month and that leave you earn there is considered tax free. If you take it the same month you come back, it’s just a waste because you are tax free that month anyways.

Back to work, I think I got most of the fires put out and my replacement up to speed on everything that’s going on but in reality? He probably had a better handle on the issues then I did because he’s been here the entire year and I just fell off the turnip truck.

Now, I have came up for and going to be heading out to Arizona in the mornin to see the family, next week I should be a proud owner of a 2008 Ford Fusion and minus one or two of my other vehicles. I don’t try collecting cars, they just appear like magic. It’s late and I have to drive all day tomorrow and don’t look forward to paying for gas. Peace out till I get back to the internets.

P.S. We'll be hitting the Blog Expo in Las Vegas, have the room paid for and our seats reserved.

My brain has stopped adding words together

I’ve hit the slump of the deployment along with many of the Marines and Sailors that I work the only difference is this is the first time that the slump has shut down my writing cold. I would put an idea on paper and try to expand on it and would end up having monosyllable conversations with myself. As painful as it is to have a conversation with one of those people, it’s worse to read it.

I did a two blog post a while back ago called Twilight of the Deployment (take one and take two) and I can’t really improve on either of them with this block filling up my head just to note that my unit is in that period of time.

The Dear John’s or Jane’s have started trickling in one party, here or there is shocked and can’t believe it’s happening to them. It’s that season of the deployment, between the middle till right before we get home. I’ve been here before and most of the Staff NCO’s I work with are on their second or third marriage, it’s the junior guys that worry me. Right now is where relationships crumble, one party realizes that they really don’t like being alone or that their significant other isn’t the “One” or meets someone special who isn’t far away and don’t know how to break it off with someone on the other side of the world then waits till right before they get home. There is no easy way to break off a serious relationship.

Where one party is lonely and falls for someone they are interacting with daily and breaks the relationship off. The spouse that cleans out the bank account and max’s out credit cards out of spite and disappears. Tired of the lack of email, phone calls, letters, etc. Tired of how the other party is spending their finances.

I see these stories every single day, the names and faces change and as a leader or a healer, you have to help these people make something constructive out of the crap that life took on them. For an air unit like mine, it’s not the suicide bombers or the mortars that cause most of us to toss and turn at night or think it’s not worth it anymore. It’s the worry about the person we expected to spend the rest of our lives with on the other side of the world. The military is tough on family life any way you look at it and there isn’t a cookie cutter solution that can fix all of the problems.

For me, this trip I’m just soul weary tired, 4 trips out here is beginning to add up and it’s tough to keep that cheery grin on my face or to find the words to put words down on paper. The last year was a bit rough on my psyche and I haven’t a chance to patch all of the holes that have been made. It all adds up in the end.

If I haven’t proved it in the past, I do write when I’m depressed but that’s not exactly what I’m feeling right now. I just a sense of numbness in my brain, I’m trying to talk some of them out, the heartache I’m feeling isn’t for me, it’s for the people whom I work with and care about. It sucks not having an answer to such big questions when they are so desperately. My head feels like I’ve stretched something too far and it broke away.

Speaking of away, while I wasn’t typing on the keyboard I did get a chance to read everything by an author named Jim Butcher and Bane, I agree, thanks for the tip. One of the ingredients that probably added to my writers block was the lack of sleep I was getting because I couldn’t stop reading. Seriously, he’s good.

I’m sorry for not popping my head up for an entire month, every writer I know hits a low point in their writing and this has been mine. Some days they flow from my fingers but I just haven’t found it lately and I’m not one of those people that like tossing up words.

Playing with new toys

Sorry about the blogging hiatus, I’m in the process of shutting down my old laptop and getting my new one spun up and backing up everything twice. This is the first laptop that I’ve actually maxed out the RAM and it books. I’ve taken it though it’s paces and haven’t been able to find anything that really slows it down. Even when it had 2 gigs of RAM, editing a half hour movie only caused a few second pause and processing the movie? 15 minutes.

There still is a dent in my wallet but like everything, it’s a speed bump in the past since I did have the spare change sitting around. There were no loans or credit card payments to worry about.

I’ve also started of all things, water aerobics. Yes, there is a pull on this base with clean cool refreshing water. It’s a definite change of scenery being out in the desert and only a short walk away from the barracks. I didn’t know what I was missing.

Currently the weather is dusty and windy with occasional brownouts where you can’t see more then 10 feet away. Daily clean up is a necessity and I fear taking the new laptop out of the plastic bag I have it secreted in till the dust goes down.

My greatest money saving photographical purchase has been a lens filter for the Canon S3, I received the filter in the mail and originally thought, this thing is huge. It covered up the entire telescopic portion of the camera with a tube and the filter screwed on the end and gave it a larger footprint. In my head I was thinking “Oh man, when am I ever going to use this?”.

Then the first dust storm happened and the lens hood totally blocked out the dust and when I had the camera in my cargo pocket and accidentally bumped the power button, the lens wasn’t jamming against the sides of my pocket which is one of the top killers of digital cameras (broken gears and motors). Instead it would turn on, open up in it’s space then close when it timed out without me ever knowing. Don’t have to worry about scratched lenses and can take pictures in the midst of the gnarliest dust storm without the fear of my camera dying.

Other news, the real reason I haven’t blogged is because I’m suffering some serious writers block, I’d write a few lines and my thoughts would fragment. Maybe the 4 trips out to this place are getting to me? I’m up for orders in January and am still unsure of where I’m going, hopefully get a change to call my detailer tonight and be able to get an answer. Take care everyone and hope you are all safe.

I missed an afternoon

Last Sunday, I took most of the afternoon off and went to my room and watched SciFi channels Children of Dune in its entirety and ate sweet rice with fish sauce and crushed red chili. Basically disconnected from everything behind the comfort of my blue walls and kicked my feet up. Little did I know that outside a storm was raging, the dust had got so bad inside of my work that fire alarms were going off and there had been a classic “Mummy” style wall of dust that overtook the base prior to a rain storm but I didn’t feel or sense a thing.

When my room mate and I moved in, we turned the pink room into a fortress, insulated windows, automotive grade blue paint and almost airtight doors. When the door shuts we’re cut off from the rest of the world.

What finally did get my attention was the concrete building I lived in, started to shake from a roll of thunder and I went outside to look. Lightning, rain and darkness had covered the landscape. When I had come home at 2, there was a clear blue sky without a cloud in sight.

The next morning, I came in to people asking me if I had got some pictures and video of the dust storm moving in and was sad to say that I had totally missed it.

Also wanted to send out some words of thanks, Martin, thank you very very much for the big ticket item you purchased from my Amazon Wish List, all I can say is wow. I’ve always wanted one but never got around to buying it, don’t worry, we’ll definitely get some good use out of it. Cathy and Josh, thank you for the care packages and coffee, Troop 859, thank you for the huge box of Girl Scout cookies, I passed out all but one box which I kept for myself. Thank you for the support everyone!

I decided to hold off buying the new laptop for a little while even though the paint is coming off of the speaker covers and they’ve started to rust. I purchased a 12 cell battery and 2 gigs of RAM, which should extend the life another few months, the grinding sound from the fan finally stopped, either that bearing wore smooth of the piece of sand jammed in there fell out. Everything is backed up at least.

Easter and Juno

Just lying in my bed watching Juno and my roommate is across the way is watching wrestling which seems to be on out here every other night. I’m totally digging the movie and typing this at the same time which calls for much editing later. But got to write when the feeling calls.

We had a Bar-b-q for Easter Sunday, even though we’re at the edge of the world, our PX still carries frozen t-bones, hamburgers and chicken. Had a good turn out, 60’s music playing and horseshoes were making ting sound in the background. I donated a rice cooker full of sweet rice and everyone pitched in something, chips, soda, non alcoholic beer, ack, non alcoholic beer. For the moment, it was almost like we weren’t on the opposite side of the world from everything we love.

The weather people say that there’s a sand storm on the way and I can feel the hairs on the back on my neck sticking up. Of course it all could be my imagination but I think it’s a big one is coming.

It’s late and I wonder how all of my people are doing back in the states. Lonely times and this movie makes me miss home.

Coping Cliques

Coping Cliques

We each find our way of coping with the distance. Being a Corpsman of Marines, it's turned me into a watcher of people and being tapped as the unit photographer, that gives me an unbiased license to see everything.
Humans are social beings, the interaction between people give me hours of enjoyment just observing. Lately my focus has been on the unconscious cliques people form to deal with the stress of deployment.

If you're watching us from the outside, the first people to catch your eyes are the PT Studs in all of their muscled glory. In some past life before they became Marines, they were probably jocks or someone who had dreamed of being a jock. Now they're deployed and are unencumbered by the social niceties of family and network television and have free reign to shape their bodies into an Arnold-like state of physical perfection. Back home, it’s rare to be able to fit a daily three-hour workout into your schedule. But here? Once work is completed, a distraction-free day provides optimal work-out conditions.

Another group is the Halo/Call of Duty/Unreal Tournament Super Virtual Soldiers, they're sort of an upstart group, only appearing in the last decade or so. These guys spend a good percentage of their deployed lives training their brains into becoming one with their warrior avatar till they find that cyber nirvana of being where they are able to last waste to that online countryside that the game produces and bask joyfully in the sound of curses and moans of the Marines whom they have fragged. In decades past, their ancestors were probably D&D players. The hardest task these guys have when returning to the states is remembering that they have responsibilities outside of the game.

No matter where you go or how primitive the environment is, you'll find a group of people who live to play cards. They spend hours each night practicing telepathy on each other, not that it works but watching from the outside, you expect to hear a eureka moment that never happens. They lie in wait with an empty chair at the table waiting for fresh meat to have a seat and when they lose to the outsider, their moans can be heard for weeks. The banter of card players has become the familiar drone that has laid the backdrop for every conflict for centuries and don't think it's going to stop anytime soon.

Myself? I follow more of the nerdy studious crowd. I walk around with a paperback in my cargo pocket and when I'm not reading, I spend a fair amount of time online catching up with email and talking to people around the world.

There are as many categories as there are people, I just named a few that stick out. The folks who end up having the problems out here are the ones who haven't developed a good method of spending their free time.
They spend hours dwelling about being in the middle of the war or feeling lonely, many of a clock ticking in their heads counting off the seconds to that date far off in the future when they get to go home.

These are the people I watch the closest and when I have to, intervene.
I've learned over the years, the more time you hold in your head, the less space you have to use for other things. The old adage of taking things "one day at a time" actually works.

I'm lucky in most respects, to sort of quote one of my SSgt's, "There's too many Frikkin happy people around here!" It's true. This trip I've deployed with a cheery bunch, every morning, I'm forced though a gauntlet of smiling Marines saying "Hi Doc!", "What's up Doc?", "Good morning Doc!" with high fives. You think I'm kidding? Nope. At least they like me and it makes it hard to be down for too long. Most days, it’s difficult to imagine these guys as lean mean fighting machines but I've seen them slip on their battle skins and then it's hard to believe that they were ever soft.

When a sailor talks about coffee, he talks about it like he would a lover. Any Navy place you go to, there’s a coffee mess, usually with a tip jar towards supplies but it actually doesn’t matter if someone puts money in there or not. Because there is always going to be someone like me or my doc who will pay out of pocket to fill the thing up just to make sure it’s stocked.

In Iraq, I’m drinking some of the best coffee I’ve ever had. Why? Because of the soldier support folk who send out some amazing coffee care packages. Starbucks? Got it. Hand made hippy French Roast? Yup. Voodoo Child Jimmy Hendrix coffee? Got that too. Sweetened condensed milk to go with espresso? Oh yes. Thank you Doc’s sister Penny, birdlady and others, my happiness is in direct proportion to the volume and how good my coffee is.

Thank you , my taste buds are very happy these days.

You notice the espresso machine on the right? Before you go and think about how spoiled I am (I might be), let me tell you the story behind it. A couple of months ago, my mom and I were going garage saling around Prescott Arizona and saw a sign for 50% off everything at a garage sale. That espresso machine had a sticker for 5 bucks on it, I brought it up and they gave it to me for 2.50. Can’t beat that. It was a wedding present to a Mormon couple who didn’t drink coffee. Bonus! Probably the best two-fifty I spent last year and it’s going to give years of great service to this department long after I’m gone.

The French press arrived today, it was a gift for Doc from his sister Penny along with that huge sack of Gimme! French Roast Coffee out of Ithaca, New York. Some of the best coffee that has touched my tongue. Thank you!

Groundhog Day

The rituals are starting to sink in, the little idiosyncrasies, the quarks that each of us do to stay sane with the sameness. Our secret pet peeves are now common knowledge and the people we spend 16 hours a day with are as well known as the back of our hands. One thing about being out here, it wears out the buttons we all have inside of our head because someone is always there pushing them to get a rise.

I have my clique of buddies that I hang out with but at the same time, I stay above the fray. Being the doc, I have to get along with everybody and mostly, I’m pretty good at that but occasionally even I have someone whom I just rub the wrong way and nothing I can do will fix it. That’s where my stellar self control comes in but my invisible armor has a fluctuating power source, there are days where it’s a thin veneer shell, fragile and waiting for that sharp word to make it shatter but usually, it’s so thick and flexible that I can take a mortars falling from sky and not flinch.

It’s a game of give and take, some day you got game and others you don’t. The days are starting to mix into each other and I have to make a conscious choice to look at the calendar to see what day it is. Not much changes, we walk the same mile of property day after day, each of us maintaining in his own way. Got to get to sleep so I can start it all over again, good night.

Have I said thank you?

As usual, I’ve had a team of great people sending me care packages and they are being welcomed with open arms. Thank you, specially Soldiers Angels!

Sorry with the slackness of my blogging, the other half of my team has a rather high tempo look on life and likes that in the work environment. Believe me, my time spent here has been more productive then most periods in my life and I’m known for working my butt off for a project. I’m a little worn out but it’s a good worn out.

Hopefully the end product is as good as the work I’m putting into it. I’m actually doing something that takes advantage of my 4 trips out here at all levels with the typing of this SOP. With each page I type, I open up another can of worms and questions that I have to answer. Hard questions are becoming routine and impossible just take a bit of patience. I’m probably the best candidate for doing this out of anyone I know.

On the war front there isn’t much to say, other then training my guys haven’t seen a single live round, just keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the hostiles don’t start jumping out of a sand dunes.

Everybody is getting into their training routine, the martial arts classes are starting and I’ve taken loads of pictures and videos. My own training is 3 abdominal classes per week and some cardio mixed in. As usual with PT, I’m a late bloomer but I’m sure that won’t stick once I finish this project.

I’m missing home but in some respects, this war has become my other home. Thank you for the support everyone.

PS have I mentioned that I totally love the new Foo Fighters album Echoes, Silence, Patience & Grace? It rocks!

Daily Grind

Mornings start out with a shower and shave and I try to make it out to breakfast with Gunny A and my RP1 (religious programs specialist). My normal breakfast consists of a freshly made hotdog and cheese hot pocket, maybe biscuits and gravy, some fruit, dark coffee (they have a choice between normal and mud, I’m in the Navy, we do the mud) and two grapefruit juices.

Sick Call starts at 8 and patients come in with their complaints but in reality, no one pays attention to the schedule. When they feel bad, they just find us and we try fixing them. Most of our business is upper respiratory infections, the dryness and dust make for the Iraqi Cough. People come in for this dry hack that doesn’t go away for months and really, none of our meds really do much for something that’s mostly environmental, any medical folk recommend a cure?

I have a cohort of 3-6 Staff NCO’s who come by and grab me around lunch time where we walk to the chow hall where split up to find the food that will make us happy for the day and we gather at the ends of the line and find a table that will hold us. Considering most of us have only hung out for the past month, we’re a fairly tight bunch and there is no shortage of battle buddies.

Unlike my other trips, I think I’ve eaten alone only 3 times total, sometimes I miss the solitude but at the same time, I like the feeling of always having someone there who takes pleasure with your presence. I’ve learned watching other people that being sent off to war and not finding a group of peers sucks. I can escape into a book so the loneliness demon has never hit me hard. We watch out for each other and the people under us.

Afternoon starts off with another sick call and a couple of hours doing admin stuff, mostly the reinventing of the wheel. I’m working on a comprehensive SOP for medical out here that includes all the phone numbers, emails and forms to handle just about anything that this country can throw at us. It’s a big dream but it’s one that I think I might be able to sink my teeth into. I’m a slacker at many things but I’m super at coming up with SOP’s.

The end of the day comes with my crew gathering up for chow where my roommate and SSgt B do their daily bet of 5 bucks to see who will throw a rock the furthest, Chick always wins and SSgt B never pays but we never get tired of watching. Have I mentioned my roommate was also the arm wrestling champ of Camp Pendleton? Maybe I should hold back on the prank pulling with him, he takes pride at beating Marines at almost all their games. Not to mention that’s he’s a big tattooed up biker who could probably do a fair job of crushing me like a bug.

I’ve deployed with basically a happy bunch of folk, we all greet each other with smiles and I haven’t been able to come up with a single problem that they couldn’t handle and I try. Supply, broken plumbing, heaters not working, computer fixes, electrical fixs, help moving gear, vehicle use, I ask and it appears like magic. A far cry away from the begging and borrowing that I’ve grown used to over the years.

Believe me, sometimes I do wish I had tales of some horrible torment that I was going though, other then the paint and the snow, that’s been it. I would have put it up otherwise, so far it’s been a mild trip with an alright bunch of people.

By the way, I've published some of the Combat Basketball pictures over at my fotopage.