The Big Picture

For those of you wondering, most of my tests came back negative.  Which is good in a way, because it means that I should be healthy...of course, I don't always feel great, so it would be nice to have additional answers. 

Hypothyroid is one of them, and that one we already knew.  We are working on getting that medication figured out.  Thanks to those who have given me some good tips.  I am definitely exploring ALL my options.

We also know that I had mononucleosis last fall during the months when I could hardly get out of bed, but that it's gone now.  No candida, no Epstein Barr, so I guess it just boils down to what we do know, and that is hypothyroid and leaky gut syndrome.  I'm off gluten and I always feel so much better when I'm perfect in my gluten abstinence.  It would be nice to have some majestic "A-HA!!!" answer, but for now I guess I will just continue to muddle through and do my best. 

My Uncle Roger wrote a piece about me on his blog, and even though I typically shy away from that kind of thing, and even put off reading it this whole entire day even after he called and begged my mom to get me to read it, I finally sat down tonight and read it.  And I liked it.  Sometimes it helps to see ourselves through another's eyes, and his eyes are certainly seeing me in a positive light.  It made me feel good, and like maybe I'm gonna get through this.  So many days I feel like I have just given up, that I'm so weak in body and spirit.  Somehow he managed to capture the big picture and show me that I haven't given up, but that it is quite the contrary--I persist with determination and resilience.  I don't think I usually see myself that way, but after reading his account of me, I do realize that I am not failing, but I am succeeding one day at a time, by not giving up and continuing to try to take care of myself so that I can care for my children. 

He even called me a "Hero."

I'm not sure I would ever use that word to describe myself, but having him say it made me realize that perhaps I have qualities that others want to emulate, and that I just need to keep putting one foot in front of the other, because (as Olympic Gymnast Gabby Douglas so gracefully stated after her gold medal win this summer) "The hard days are when champions are made."

(by the way, if you want to read my Uncle's post, visit www.tipsfromaman.blogspot.com.  He will be so excited I sent you there!)