eh asyrafffff, da besar kau eh? kau menengah berape sekarang ni?

i am so fucking angry right now that i can even fast for another 2 more months.
and now i take that back because that would make me angrier. omfg.

i have this hate for roaches. i dare any of you motherfuckers to mess with me with roaches. i will hate you for eternity. i fucking swear.

i seriously think its radical phobia.
i seriously think its not to be played around with.
i seriously think im serious.

today's the last day of ramadhan. well its syawal already i guess. go ask your grandpa.
from tmr, i have freedom to eat till the next ramadhan. thurday dinner with Shtara. yessa.

and tmr, i have to sit in one corner of my grandparents' humble abode and try to hide from my relatives. i already have the list of answers to potential questions. -_-

my mum loves my gf.
i know she does.

me love her more.
i know i do.

salam lebaran.
forgiveness is futile so yeah, maaf zahir dan batin to all you humans.

i cant friggin wait to eat normally
anytime of the friggin day

the only sad thing is,
souls go back to prison :(

-you should be able to tell us apart by now. (if not you are one lousy cow)

ps. did you know that range of f = domain of f-inverse?

razors and other sharp things

here i am. not sleeping. pissed off.
i wanna fucking sleep cb. its 3 hrs to sahur (i dont care if you dont know what sahur is).

2 fucking days to raya. ok im not bothered about that.
2 fucking days to normal eating.
fuck raya man. urgh. why the fuck did you leave lisa? bitch.
i hate socialising with people whom i dont talk to for a full sentence.
i hate answering qns like, "hows school?"
i'll smile and hate inside.

why am i so irritated right now?
fuck la. tmr school. make it today.

viper's asleep. i wish i could fly, check on her.
hope you're using my sweater.
and fuck, its only a month till she leaves for Germany.
URGH.
ok happy thoughts mr.wolf.
happy thoughts.




im gonna miss this for a whole month.
*slaps self.
happy thoughts you motherfucker!

i cant...


im gonna try sleeping again now.
dont wish me luck, it never comes.

misses mrs.

qa.

the sun is feeding on my strength

and weakening my immunity.

the full moon's away on a holiday
and razorteeth is less vicious for today.

oh, merry me.

THE KREMLIN

i found this fucking funny!


back to the kremlin
the Kremlin originally refers to Russia's mythic refuge but doesn't it remind you of the sinister green goblin from spiderman?!
i always associate kremlin with the green goblin. (maybe because the words rhyme.)
if i could, i would tattoo 'Kremlin' on my left wrist.
think you know me now?
you're not even close!
heehee!
the kremlin thingy amuses me so much and i am so gleeful now!!
:D :D :D :D :D

:D going to watch the nanny now.

k, now im pissy again.
the next time im meeting razorteeth is on sunday.

'an.

why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you
why couldnt you

now i have bad gastric so excuse me if i pass out for awhile.

'an; not your friend wont soothe your soul (and in the end youre all dead to me)

i tink uh i hungwee

it's my
attempt
to ingest
starshine
'til admired!

it's my
intent
to become
all you
have desired.

through death my sweet viper.

tmw chubby day, and stupid fridays taken away from me. cb.

waiting for her to sheshe.

qa.

vampires can't bake

i can attest to that because i tried just now.
it's still yummy but my cookies are flat!
i have no idea why!
and you know what's the worst part?
i used betty crocker!
i can teach you to swim or rockclimb but never ask me to bake.

shopping for groceries with razorteeth was fun.
can't wait for our nasi ayam penyet rendezvous.

he is playing hellgate.
wonder what's so interesting about hellgate when he could be watching THE NANNY.

school tomorrow. :(

xoxo
ANNA

everyday life is like an MMORPG game.

you kill, you die, you live again.

to kill, to die, to live again.

qa.

im in the lib. on eBuddy. and my gf is watching GG (gargoyle gondol). -_----"

im hungry. i have a headache. and yes, i want chicken baked rice.

ah fuck, i miss that girl.
wtv uh. hungry like cb and weak like fuck.

qa.

hi, it's me again.
why shouldn't it be me?
i don't have school.
i am kept idle, not that school has ever kept me that busy anyway.
i just wanted to provoke your thoughts and remind all not to always assume.
i mean, you have more braincells to come to a conclusion on your own rather than relying on what the reporters say, don't you?

topic of NOW.
the bombing of the islamabad marriott. (in pakistan)
everybody is blaming the al-qaeda.
is that a no brainer or what?
not that i have any insider knowledge on whether al-qaeda is the culprit or not but think about it.
marriott= a hotel which came from the oh so dreaded West.
so then, it all falls into place doesn't it?
it MUST be the fault of the al-qaeda terrorist network!
what if i told you otherwise?
would you believe me?
of course not!
it's because the al-qaeda's behind sevenhundred and forty-two attacks before this,
which makes them responsible for this attack.
what if i asked you not to assume and believe like a naive little virgin that al-qaeda was NOT behind the attack?
then who would the culprit be, miss know-it-all?
it may very well be................... ISRAEL.
i am merely speculating that ISRAEL may be behind the attack.
why not?
when the world is in chaos? uniting against islam?
for people who have limited general knowledge, israel is not a muslim country, thank you very much.
you know why i said that it is entirely possible that the fault may not lie with the al-qaeda?
BECAUSE MOST OF THE FUNCTION ROOMS AT MARRIOTT, INCLUDING THE BALLROOM AT THAT POINT OF TIME WERE HIRED FOR IFTAR, THE TRADITIONAL COMMUNAL MEAL THAT WILL BREAK THE FAST OF MUSLIMS WHO OBSERVE THEIR DAILY FAST IN THE MONTH OF RAMADHAN.
muslims killing muslims?
HELLO?!
that is like telling me that a(Xsquare) + bX + c = 0 is not a quadratic equation!
and although al-qaeda may be crazy enough to consider such a thing,
i still refuse to accept the assumption that they are at fault when there is not enough evidence.

SO YOU CAN SUCK IT!!!

so why should you people accept the assumption too?
QUESTION!
all great thinkers win the nobel peace prize because they QUESTION!
you may not be as prodigious but you still can try instead of being a loser and inhaling information that may not be necessarily true.

:D
adieu humans.

sita, the unreasonable but not always irrational vampire.

ps. if you need reference for the bombing, please feel free to tag. the conclusion is entirely my own opinion, after much analysis.

THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL AMUSEMENT

:D

XOXO

BEFORE WE WERE BORN...

and roses on white lace cover by arsis. (no live footage)


fight communism! (but it doesn't mean im up for capitalism!)if you take history, you'll recognise karl marx, lenin and stalin!


i've just made myself extremely happy!

THIS OWNS IF IT DOESNT GO SUCK YOUR OWN DICK KKKKKK.

xoxo
shii ann

on the phone with fangs.
on msn with cheeseman.
on this world with filth.

on odyssey to strawberries and nasi ayam penyet.

qa.

cut out angels.

Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
the function both which one is better?

THE STORMQUEEN. says:
i dont know abt the functions!!!

Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
ler

THE STORMQUEEN. says:
i like the looks only!!!

Liddilly Liddilly Lid says:
then u looking at the beauty of the phone only?

THE STORMQUEEN. says:
YES

quote unquote!

i think the rapport between us is missing.
this is khalid.
and this is me.
we are no longer on the same page.
he hangs out with the same people.
i left them and dont hang out with anyone.
although he sometimes tries to remind me of the friendship,
it is quite lost and out of reach.
especially since the razorteeth has an immense dislike for khalid.

why did you change your email add? i asked.
you should feel honoured, he said.
why?
because my old account has alot of people i dont need anymore.

since when did you need me khalid?
i used to be the one who needed you, until i didnt need you anymore.
i dont need you anymore because i need to need someone else,
where does that leave us now?

i want to terawih from tomorrow onwards!
desperate times calls for desperate measures!

at the end of this post, razorteeth,
even though khalid is an external factor you seek to axe,
he was once my friend.
but you,
my friend, my lover, my entire supply, gas, match and igniter.

ANNA.

heart of tarasque

im destructive but only to myself.
im too scared to explode.
yes i do throw venom at times but thats nothing.
i piss myself off so bad at times that i just wanna punch my own fucking face.
but i cant. i cant.
i swallow it up like molotov up a sucker.
anger is so meaningless. drains you like Vladimir's offering.
i want so much to scream.
but i cant. i cant.
i swallow it up.
swallow it up like molotov up a sucker.

My blood rushes as you look at me,
Taking me into the darkness of night.

Only thing that can save me,
Is the sun as it burns your skin.

Looking into your eyes so helplessly,
But still feeling as safe as can be.

Biting me and leaving your mark,
Claiming me for yours forever eternity.

A pain that won’t hurt,
But just for a second.

Feeling the warmth of my blood,
Dripping down your lips.

sexysexy vamp.

I AM SITA OF THE KALI YUGA
AND YOUR MOTHER OF THE MESSE NOIRE

hellblazer

the deep cold breath you take now is a proof that I have not taken you.
i have given you another moment to look upon your pathetic excuse of a life and ask the never ending question of, “Why?”
i wish you nothing but demise and suffering.
will you realize your purpose in life?
will you make up a purpose and live keeping steady to that course of actions that will ultimately lead you back into my arms?
i lost my grip upon you as I pulled you down into Hell.
God has now forsaken you.
the thought of ending what God gave you as a magnificent gift, spitting into his face, damned you to an eternal resting place with me as your Lord.
i am the reason for your existence now, and you are at my mercy.

Satan's promise to a person that committed suicide but was brought back to life.
hellblazer Constantine.

my colour perspective getting bad again. i had a mild colour blindness when i was 15. why the fuck must it come again. its been bad since last year but its getting prominent. yes, i should have listened to Sita.. if not i'll be cursed with blindness.

whenever my gf complains that she is hungry, i get hungry too. cold storage was a killer. ok la, its just canned food and biscuits and chips but it still looked extremely good. we shall picnic and buy unnecessary stuff and not finish everything and make ourselves happy. one fine day..

i dont wanna grow up but i dont want to stay this age.
i want my nasi ayam penyet life.

QA.

just like a star?

the scrapes that scratched
the flesh, the heart, the mind matter.
just like.

then there is the path of the undecided.
the one who bled it out
and the one who is wholly capable of making it bleed

through and through
the one divine

xoxo

my mum and daddy are allowing me to keep a tiny kitten!
we found it in the drain mewing for his momma.
but there's something wrong with Blackie (how typical)
his intestine's coming out or something.
so my brother had to call the spca.
:(
it's the first time my parents said yes to having a pet.
although i have to admit cats aren't really my favourite thing.
it's smaller than the size of my already small palm.
the naughty kid that my brother and i hate since we were little helped us carry the tiny thing and place it in the shoebox until spca arrives.
until then, i have a cat named Blackie Deathmask Bin BlackMetal.
my boyfriend's sick and i knew it since yesterday.
he was radiating heat.
by the way, i am having happy holidays now until d-day on wednesday.
hope they don't return the papers so quickly.

anyone up for a maths session?
i dont think i have the initiative for intensive maths.
(my dad wants to get me a deck! so nice of him :D but i told him to wait until it's confirmed i get to move up to year3)

if i promote nellerz, you'll get your crunch bars. promise.
'AN.

omg.. i dozed off.
was supposed to blog an hr ago..
k nvm, sleep then.

i miss my gf. she slept cranky. =(
her brother is starting to annoy so fucking bad.
gosh.

im flying to you now love.
*flapflap.

qa.

my fate is sealed

promos over.
don't mention a word about it to me anymore.

had a blissful day with razor.
except i had the worst chilli fish pasta at swensens.
i eat chilli fish pasta every single time i dine there and this time it was so dry!
what the hell. breakfasting somemore. fed up.

my boyfriend is teaching me how to save money.
but i still spent alot today :(

don't disturb me, i am watching gossip girl and prisonbreak.

can't escape the fate. xoxo.
'an

and now i will answer some questions..

annoying specter: so yeah mr.hairyback wolf, lately you've been complaining that majority of your human acquaintances do not understand the magnitude of your oath to mrs.wolf. so i shall annoy your cold-blooded soul and ask you some qns. warning, you cannot kill me, i am your conscience.

me: *puts Sange back into weapon rack. alright, if it means it'll clear the fog.

AS: so how are things with the mrs?

me: stormy and blissful.

AS: ahhh, i see. must be happy then?

me: blissful means happy. i want to kill you.

AS: ahh, but you cant! *skips a doodle. so yes, what exactly do these humans do to you to maim your devotion to love?

me: firstly, they exist. secondly, they ignorantly ask me why i sacrifice all the time i have to see/meet my chubby half.

AS: so why DO you sacrifice all your time to do that?

me: half of my existence, she holds. i am weak without her. vulnerable, but only little know how to destroy me.

AS: then why bother?

me: hunger for power.

AS: ahh, so what do you do to these humans so far?

me: strike indifference, ignore, burn them.

AS: what do they do then?

me: exist as an asshole still.

AS: that is annoying.

me: definitely, more than you.

AS: oh you flatter me good sir!

me: *death stare*

AS: so what do you exactly want them to do?

me: simple, stop asking and at least try to understand why i need her. if they cant be bothered to understand, at least stop fucking asking. that'll stop a whole world of rage.

"where you going after school uh?"
"meet my gf. its wednesday, stop asking already."
"why you always meet her? never get bored uh?"
"nope, im bored of you thats why. stop being an ass."
"ok la. go la. if thats what you want.. *nonchalant tone*."
"*walks off before he finished the sentence*"

i tell you, its annoying.

AS: ahh yes, i see the problem. but if i could spare a speck of my knowledge of these beings, they will not stop being like this. like how you say it, an ASS.

me: what you suggest i do then?

AS: dont answer, just go. they'll get it sooner or later. prevent any rage from seeping, damn right it will.

me: true. you're not so annoying afterall.

AS: definitely, a charming intellectual like me. never am.

me: now you are.

AS: apologies matey. so yes, thank you for your time mr.hairyback.

me: no no, thank you for initiating this.

AS: ahh, your welcome good sir. best be off now, cheri-O!

me: yeah, dont trip on that body on the way out.

AS: *trips*


qa.

another little voice, drowned out by other little voices

in our pursuit to reserve our spot in the year three cohort.

God,
what if i promise not to misbehave in school anymore,
not to be defiant,
limit my absenteeism to three days per semester,
would you promote me and see me through till i earn that compulsory degree?

last minute studying sucks so bad.
and the "i -regret-not-studying-earlier" speech is on replay.
well i didn't sense the urgency until the fourth day of september holidays.
well, hello anna, how's the tempo now?
or maybe i just like to work under pressure.
the thing is, working under pressure doesn't always deliver the results.

you know when you were in primary school, you never had to worry whether you were going to pass or fail. you never had to worry about getting a C or a D because God forbid, you will never be like all the "naughty kids" who get Bs. you never had to worry about being promoted because you thought being promoted was automatic. like duh right?

then you move on to secondary school where for me, academics came after everything else. i had canoeing and rockclimbing and preferred excelling in those than in my studies. i preferred my friends over my future. i preferred to devote myself to the worship of satan spawn. i preferred to rule the school with my friends. my earphones were permanently glued to my ears and i was never without them, except for assembly period. i gave canoeing my 500percent. it didn't matter whether i was fasting or not. i still did the same drills and still suffered the punishments meted out to me whenever my juniors misbehaved because they were my responsibility. how is it that i've never realised my life was my own responsibility? yet, passing and promoting was the easiest part of school whereas the hardest part of school was getting that inedible trophy in the national inter-school canoeing championships that now sits collecting dust on my shelf.

question:
why is it that now passing becomes so much harder and the chances of retaining becomes so much more higher?

answer:
because there are limited places in the university.

i think i have just solved the question of life.

speaking of studies, i should really begin my revision for today and i shall refrain myself from blogging until tuesday afternoon when my promos end.

adieu.
anna, in a darkened room.

just a short rant.

i am so pissed off at the southeastasian notes which was given to me by bennyloserlim.
information is inadequate and disorganized as compared to wendychoo's.
grammar mistakes and spelling errors are found throughout the asean notes.
can a teacher be more lazy than that?
did he even vet through the bloody thing?
did i mentioned that some notes were from wiki? (ie. Indonesia)
thanks you so much, as if we could not have just typed www.wikipedia.org.
and you wonder why we hate you?

screw off.

hanging out with the razorboy later and we are going to paint the town deathmask black.
catch us if you can.

MEET MY PW MATES.
aishah on the left! (same birthday as me. Halloween okay! and we sting.)
SX on the right. :D
my new favourite people in school. (and cissyxzxzxz of course!)
just stole the pictures from SX's blog.
but i look dumb in most of them and this is the photo i look least dumb in, SO.

:D

sometimes i feel bad when i bite my boyfriend
but sometimes i just need the taste of iron in my mouth
because.

anna

the storm's coming, get back in

you know, i used to rebel against the idea that we should stand up for ourselves. why stand? why not sit? isnt that better? your legs wont get tired.

no its not better. it never was. everyone else will definitely stand. if we sit, we cant fucking see the screen. then bla3, we'l get angry because we cant see and get so frustrated till we fade to abyss. i've had enough of damaging my soul with frivolous lamentations and whatnot.

"you want filthy humans to step on you boy? you want to be like this all your life? ive had enough of dating weak losers. i know you're not of one them. stand i say!"
-lover

and stand i will.
Shtara Cekahn, xoxohugskissesciumpelukjogetcubitpokes.

QA.

talking about iPods won't help me in my lit paper tomorrow but i can't help myself when i see these babies....

DEATHMASK DIVINE OR WHAT. look at the orgasmic green. i want it want it want it, even though i have already have a nano! [gore gore gadget] i just showed my mum and she said if i get a B for maths A's this year, that ipod, fifth from the left IS MINE. and if i really do get a B, (i think even if i get a C or D she'll still get it for me because it beats frigging 4 upon hundred MYEs!)

yup, this is my nano except mine is black. hah, as if you guys have never seen it. this baby is my best friend. i wanted the green one even though it's dull, nevermind that summer shudder but since it was mumdad's surprise for me, i got the black.

do you humans want to meet my first love?
meet brandon. chose it over the first generation nano. can you spell C-O-L-O-U-R! it doesn't work anymore... but i think i'm going to repair it, someday.

and i think i am extremely greedy because i want the iTouch too. i just want to collect them all. sheesh. i am going to be like ryan jfarzadeh. crazy nut, iPod stalker. :D that's a British for you mates! [the filthy youth]

OHMYGOD A MIRACLE!

GOD BLESS THE QUEEN!

(okay for what, take it back!)

GOD BLESS MY MATES AND I WHO ARE UNDERGOING CRAZYINSANE PROMOS.

GUESS WHAT?!

MY ITUNES JUST DETECTED BRANDON!

IT'S CHARGING! YAY YAY YAY!

as i was typing this entry, i decided to plug brandon in and he resurrected.

IS HE JESUS?

okay, no.

thor arise, brandon!

LEGENDS NEVER DIE.

IT'S EVEN PLAYING SONGS THAT'S STORED IN MY MINI!

AWESOMEEEEE!!!

but i can't deny that the battery has expired /5 minutes alone/ but im going to change it.

ANYWAY.

in the bus on the way to school today, i played a little game.

from toa payoh all the way to bukit batok, i wanted to make sure that no one will DARE sit beside me.

so throughout the whole bus journey to school, i gave anyone who made an attempt to sit beside me (i took the inner seat) the dirtiest, most arrogant, most angry look that i have.

AND IT WORKED!

until bukit timah :(

nevermind, 45minutes nontheless and even though the bus was full, no one sat beside me.

i felt possessed in the bus this morning especially. (and yesterday too)

i wanted so much to leap up and yell and give a mighty groar.

singa[g]ore huh ragdoll? please, i only tolerate you guys because of khalid.

ANYWAY. yeah.

the feeling, can't explain it but metalheads, you know, i know!

and you know what's the worst part?

read the entry that i posted before this.

:(

read?

uh huh.

signing out, born to be wild - ACDC

anna loves vounte HELLfriggingFORGE!

maths + international history just about slaughtered me.

Kardel Sharpeye

i miss that lil bloodsucker.
gonna meet her later after i hand in my works.

qa.

afterlife?

why do i feel as if i am walking right into the jaws of my own execution?
too much last minute studying and suddenly my mind is a blank today.
promotional exams begin tomorrow and pray let me ask, do i seem relaxed to you?
i will not be like the others who lie through their teeth when asked if they've studied.
i am panicking.
i feel so stoned and look so stoned now and just before you dismiss me as a slacker who will never make it anywhere,
i am as panicky as you are.

my boyfriend is downstairs and i'm still at home, typing this. not hurrying to meet him.
let him wait. :)
it amazes me how he waits so patiently.
i am never patient.
but to say that opposites attract would be false because we do have striking similarities.
like the fact that we are not from this world?

i am off to study today...
so God help me.

i wish i had a talent i can exploit.

anna.

seems like i just started school. in truth, its been nearly 2mths at NAFA.
new people i hate. new people i find. new shit i have to go through but not a new life.
my life's with Sita.

i have a 2week break from school. thing is, there never is a break from school.
i pity my gf. studied like all this week. good girl.
rewards will come my sweet.

so today we misbehaved for abit. no more for this month. tsk tsk. =)
tmr, work work work.

i'l see you through all this love.
definitely.

i ate 11 pieces of Truffle squares. goddamn.

QA.

how can you be so missable under the summer rain?

:(

-one-half

DIE MAINSTREAM DIE!!

Arrrrgghhhhhhhhhhhh Bleaaaaaaaaaaaa
Arrrrrghhhhhhhhh Bleaaaaaaaaaaa
Satan
Buhahaaaaaaa Bleaaaaaarggggggggghhhhhh
Bleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Baaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh
Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Chorus:

Argh Argh Argh Argh Blahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Bleah blea blea blea blea Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh
Bleah bleah bleah bleaaaaaaaaaa
Argh!!!!!!!

Oeaaaaaaaa!!!! Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Oeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Bleaaaaaaaaaa bleaaaaaaaaaaa

Urrrrrrrr Mrrrrrr Argh Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

Chorus (2x)

Oooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaarghhhhhhhh!!!!!
Satan!!!!! Bleaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh Ouaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Apricots!!!!!!! Bleah bleah bleah bleah bleah bleah bleah
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Chorus

thank you!

only a metalhead can mock metal. so you poseurs, shut the fuck down.


i have a naughty gf.
lovable yeah.
and naughty.

lovelove.

QA.

LOVE YOU XOXO
[puasa last year]

I AM EVEN HAPPIER WITH THE PURCHASES I MADE TODAY! :) :) :)
AND GOSSIP GIRL IS PLAYING NOW IN ANOTHER WINDOW OKAY BYE!!!!!

Ask Me Which Is My Favourite Donut Flavour.

i am very happy with the purchases i made today :)

i am very upset that i have wasted three days not studying for my promos.

i am very tired and feel like going to bed NOW.

so pray tell me, what should i do?

and i love my boyfriend, that you know i know he knows.
so what? ketupat?
anna-stormqueen.

ps. it's donut fact's raspberry dark chocolate.

and love we did

call me Anna, she says, hoping they’ll get the vague reference, but they never do, mainly because it’s too obtuse, and partly because nobody really reads Moby Dick these days. But it matters not, nothing ever does. She wears her hair swept up and her mind swept away. There are the remains of a meal speckled upon her collar and down the front of her top, but people make sure not to comment. It wouldnt be right, but that’s for later.

first, call her Anna. heroines always had such exciting names, she mourned, drowning in jealousy that she instantly hated them all. she embraced the plain out of spite, and insisted that people called her by her boring middle name, started work devouring, and married a man who was the human embodiment of claws on murder.

he didnt stand out anymore than she did. He wasnt tall and wasnt short, wore glasses in the least imposing way and sometimes spoke too quietly. he hated repeating himself, so told people to forget he said anything at all if they hadnt heard him the first time.

he was not exciting, barely interesting, hardly living in fact. he has a dull name too, but he told you it so quietly that you didnt hear it, and are too polite to ask him to repeat it.

she wore a silver ring. gold was so garish, she always thought, and silver was simple, striking, it radiated against her skin, and that was just fine by him, since it was so much cheaper anyway.

so she wore a silver ring, and a grey dress that showed her legs and made her relatives sigh.

she held a lily for each year they had known each other, and her relatives sighed again. they’re flowers of death, her mother insisted, its not a good omen for your wedding day, but she insisted that they were her flowers, and she had to carry them. it had to be lilies, it couldnt be anything else, and silently she counted each petal as she nervously waited. She didnt mean to upset anyone; she just didnt think it was a big deal. If they were forcing her into this ridiculous wedding, she would do it her way.

and she did it her way, as she always did. she was silent and dull like her husband, but on her, it was shaped as aloof. she wore green to spark her red hair, and fiered through life as though she was a whin-bush back in the country where she grew up. she still remembers the panic of the ritual in the dry, dry Augusts, how they had to be burned, but what if they spread?

he knew he wasnt well because of how he sometimes shook. and she would tell him maybe you’re…and he would tell her to stop.
But maybe its…
and he tells her to stop
but what if you have…
stop…

and so she stopped, because things are easier that way.

Twisted. Twisted it was.

they loved each other as much as people in these stories do, but it is more precise to say that they stayed together. with this ring, tarnished from forgetting to take it off while doing the washing up, and with a lustre only in their minds, they wed each other, and remain devotedly in a life of bills and panic, forevermore, because in truth, that’s the reality, and that’s more than anyone should wish for.

he gently lifts the length of hair she has swept back, and kisses the naked shoulder exposed. his left hand shakes slightly. he is not well, but neither will mention it. they stare through practically sheer navy curtains as dawn breaks over the city. it appears cold just by looking. then dawn becomes day, and they have better things to do than see, and feel.

for the world.
not for us. we will never tell.

i still do not accept the transaction of an a-level cert for a fine arts diploma.
i am that selfish.
and drained.
and i hate school so bad, which goes to show i wasted my whole day.
i only had two hours of maths this morning and then nada.
i even forgot to bring my stupid GC graphic calculator eh nel *wink wink for the maths session.
i still do not accept the transaction of an a-level cert for a fine arts diploma.
i am going to ruin my life if i dont study, as i'm made to believe.
i am so brainwashed by society.

ti amo.