today was better.. thankfully..

despite being discouraged.. when we sang as a choir.. i felt something.. a feeling so comforting..

it's so nice to know we can make music.. and i love acapella.. it's really nice.. especially Agnus Dei.. it's like my favourite piece (:

i'll do this.. for my love for singing.. love for music..

filtering should work fine for now.. escapism is not recommended(imo.. lol)..


i was looking at rockapella's videos the whole night(yet again.. lol).. and AH!!! i so love them please!! i love acapella.. sadly their CDs can't be found in our local stores.. bleagh.. nvm (: youtube's good.. =p

anyways.. here's one of their vids.. enjoy~

Rockapella - People Change

incoherent me..

life doesn't seem to feel so right these days..

one traumatic saturday can turn my week around. ha! amazing.
it's over now.. i'll do what i can.. no regrets..

i feel bad for those around me.. those who had to tolerate my endless brooding and ranting.. sorry. but thank you all.


shall try to enjoy the remaining days being a teen.. lol.. -.-


she needs to be a better person..
she needs to learn..

looks like there are some roses among the thorns (:


it's little gestures like these that make me feel worthy.. at least i know i'm not the only one in the deep end.. =)
it was great having you over even though it's just for a short while.. i'll miss you too.. dearly.. please take good care of yourself while you're away too.. don't forget to remember me.. miss me! *hugs*
alright.. i'll be back on wed.. till then~ (:

"want to cry just cry.. no need shy.. girls sad can cry one" (:

it's so wonderful to know i'm blessed with lovely people around me to catch me when i fall without even needing to ask..

i just really want to say thank you and sorry to you both.. sorry for taking out my emotions on you both..

thank you for being there for me to cry on.. for the comforting hugs and words of encouragement.. for being so willing to sacrifice your time just for me.. sorry i held you back from your initial plans.. girl, i love you.. i dunno what else to say..
(to banani: don't jealous ah..haha.. and thanks for waiting too..)



thank You for taking me home despite it being so inconvenient.. Your patience, when all i had were tears and a lousy self-esteem.. thank You for knocking some sense into me when i was blinded by my own expectations and fears.. i'm sorry i left You just like that.. my heart sank as i heard the door close... it was only then i realised how stupid i was.. and all i had left was regret.. will You forgive me? Please?
i wanted to tell you this earlier.. but with the state i was in, i couldn't...... I Love You.


*~~*

more often than not, my self-esteem kills me.. why is it i can't seem to do something about it each time i try? nini.. you're right.. you know me long enough to know that no matter what happens.. i'll still persevere to go through every hurdle in life.. i just need to believe.. believe in me.. and believe in God..


F=FALSE
E= EXPERIENCE
A= APPEARING
R= REAL


there can be miracles when you believe

ok quick post.. i'm hooked to another song!

and i'm in LUUUURRRVVVEEEE with the guitar!!! SO NICE!!!!

Free Fallin' by John Meyer



She's a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
Shes a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

It's a long day living in reseda
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
And I'm a bad boy 'cause I don't even miss her
I'm a bad boy for breakin her heart

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

All the vampires walkin' through the valley
Move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now I'm
Free fallin', now I'm free fallin', now I'm

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin'
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I'm free, free fallin'
Yeah I'm free, free fallin'

take time to realize
that your warmth in crashing down on in


i stopped to take a look at my life today
and i thought to myself:

colours are splashed back in place
and music fills me again (:

Remember
(dedicated to my best friend aini)

i remember when..
i first met you
school gate duty back in primary school

i remember when..
we hung out together at our recess times
knowing that we were "uncool"

i remember when..
you hurt me
with those lies and words untrue

i remember when..
you left me for ******(you-know-who)
and left me in the dark without a clue

but i still remember..
the day we set aside our differences
and decided to start anew

girl, i'll always remember..
and treasure my friendship with you
it has inspired me, it's true

and i want you to Always remember..
i'm always there for you

see.. i haven't stopped writing poems for you!
do you still have the 1st one i wrote for you? :p




friendships may falter and crumble.. and everytime i witness failed friendships or relationships.. be it of my own or of those around me.. i always look back on my past.. and i ask myself.. who am i to judge? haha.. i was once a hellofa complicated girl.. but i must say.. aini.. you're one heck of a laydee to me, girl! haha.. sorry i ain't lesbian :p haha.. but ya.. our friendship is really inspiring.. right aini? haha.. it's still our lil' secret!! hahahaha! (: it's amazing how long we've kept it..

i never regretted all the nonsense quarrels i had with you.. looking back.. it's really retarded and funny.. haha.. the smiles.. the laughter.. and my gosh! the tears!! i'll never forget.. but you're worth it (: so amazing how our friendship blossomed into something so beautiful aye? *hugs*

(oh my goodness.. i sound so lesbian-y here.. please don't get it wrong.. i'm not k? haha.. sorry ni ni! lol..)

*~~*

just give a lil patience and understanding.. pray on it.. and peace will fill you..


Loving Lord, Creator God,
open our eyes to see
the good that lives in each of us,
that called the world to be.
And when we fail to see the good,
when friendships falter and crumble,
give us the courage to forgive
that we may live in peace.

a horrible experience
total darkness
afraid
so afraid




*~~*




there's so many thing i wanna say!
but i can't =(
forget it..

i wanna say a BIG thank youuuuuuu to the following people:

Kaihong:
thank you so much for being my guitarist.. don't worry k? our first time kan cheong nvm one.. haha.. just jia you.. and thanks so much for the encouragement and affirmation.. i really appreciate it hope you'll stay on to be my guitarist for my future open mic.. lol..

Minxun & Dorcas:
girl.. thanks so much for coming!!! haha.. and thank you both for the lovely flowers!!! i LOVE THEM!!! hahaha.. Minxun.. you did fine last night.. hope you've recovered for today.. and please don't bully me liao please.. haha.. we patch back k? haha..

Patrick:
thanks for coming.. and i'm sorry you had to rush from so far.. and so sorry for such poor information =/ i hope you're doing fine now..

Aini:
thanks for pushing me babe.. you've always been there.. and it's so nice to know that you're still around for me... heehee~ thanks for landing a hand, literally.. lol..

Zhar:
thanks for coming and accompanying her.. heehee.. and stealing the bike so that you can reach faster :p

Ben:
and you!! hahaha.. thank YOU for introducing this nice chillout place.. looks like i might frequent this cafe now.. haha... thanks ben.. really (: following friday ya?



so yay.. i plucked up whatever courage i had and sang.. though it wasn't what i wish it would turned out to be.. i ain't perfect la.. but oh man.. i was shivering like MAD! hahaha..



this feelin' inside of me is amazing

oh man! i'm hooked to the song!

forgive me.. i don't really like this MV.. for obvious reasons.. but i like the song.. haha.. so here it goes..




Hey baby girl, I've been watching you all day (all day x3)
Man that thing you got behind you is amazing (amazing x3)
You make me want to take you out and let it rain (let it rain x3)
I know you got a man but this is what you should say

Why don't you tell him that I'm leavin' never lookin back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
no more making you cry, no more them gray skies
girl we flying on the G5 G5
And I'm leavin' never lookin back again...
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man
The one who's so so fly
The one that keep you high
have you singing all night night night
Oh oh oh (repeat) man she going to be sayin'
Oh oh oh oh (repeat)

Now if I talk it girl, you know that I will walk it out (walk it out x3)
Man I'll put my money (money) where my mouth is (mouth is x3)
Cause you the baddest litte thing that I've ever seen (ever seen x3)
So ima ask you one time if you got a man

Why don't you tell him that I'm leavin' never lookin back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
no more making you cry, no more them gray skies
girl we flying on a G5 G5
And I'm leavin' never lookin back again...

So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man
The one who's so so fly
The one that keep you high
have you singing all night night night
Oh oh oh (repeat) man she going to be sayin'
Oh oh oh oh (repeat)

Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
Just tell him to the left left left
Don't stress, don't stress, don't stress
Cause we gone & we gone & we gone
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you deserve nothing but the best
No stress, no stress, no stress
Girl you need to tell him...
That I'm leavin' never lookin back again
You found somebody who does it better than he can
no more making you cry, no more them gray skies
girl we flying on a G5 G5
And I'm leavin' never lookin back again...
So call your shawty you tell him you found a new man
The one who's so so fly
The one that keep you high
have you singing all night night night
Oh oh oh (repeat) man she going to be sayin'
Oh oh oh oh (repeat)

i got this nice acoustic song from qimin's blog.. oh so nice!!!



damn.. i wanna sing well and play the guitar well.. i'm so jealous.. *pouts*


i watched Wanted!!! Fox is so hawt! i LOVE her gun with the cool ivory handle which she links with her tatoo.. haha.. disappointing part was that the protagonist wasn't shuai.. lol...

and you know what's The BEST part of my day?

i went to WILD WILD WET!!!!

call me sua ku.. it was like my 1st time there.. lol... it was so fun.. and i'm so burnt -.- the sunblock was like totally useless -.-

but oh man! the slide was the most thrilling!!! it felt like as if my stomach was suspended in mid-air.. lol.. cool stuff!!!

tsunami was cute coz i met a friend there.. haha.. my colleague to be specific.. lol.. we both didn't go to work today.. lol.. SHHH!!!!

it was a blessed day (:

nothing beats spending the entire day doing the things you enjoy with great company =)


on the flip side.. i dunno if i'm oversensitive or is it coz of what i'm going through in my mind.. but i would like to know what i should do.. it's really getting on my nerves.. funny how i'm stressed about nothingness...