Sunday, April 29, 2007,
6:13 PM
i haven't been having the best week ever...
being a teenager is really one heck of a rollercoaster ride if you ask me...
one moment a school gives me problems... another moment... my parents give me problems... another moment... i think my insecurities are coming back...
i'll just try to move on... for now.. i'll treasure my memories...
i remember this song.. sung to me once... really sweet song.. and oh i love this sweet song...
In the early morning run
With a field pack on my back
And an aching in my heart
And my shirt’s full of sweat
I’m a long long way from home
And I miss my lover’s so
In the early morning run
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
When the cold wind blows
I know I know
You have to go
So I’ll hurry back home
Coz I miss you so
-distance makes the heart grow fonder-
Thursday, April 26, 2007,
10:46 PM
hormonal imbalance...
major outbreak
PMS -.-'
i wish i had petals to pluck to decide my fate...
-sappy mood-
Wednesday, April 25, 2007,
10:52 PM
another option opened...
still very affected
need you
hurry home
goodnight
Monday, April 23, 2007,
11:23 PM
ok.. i'm trying to move on... many thanks to all my friends... i really hope this will work out for me...
aini: hey babe... thank you for listening to me as i cried on your journey back home... i hope you will solve your problems too...elke: hey girl... you're a real good girl tonight, yes? :p anyhows... thank you for listening to me complain so much =p must have been pretty torturing to your ears huh? lol... hope that nincompoop will cease all these... we're all here for you okie?aud: hey girlie... yes i agree with you.. i also pretty much have a bad impression of them too... gosh.. i don't understand how they can mess up such a small thing... it's my future that's being decided... so careless... but hey... don't just discard your application for whatever course you wanted just because of my problem okie? i think i was just plain unlucky.. right from day one... jiayyouz okie?despite my situation... i've decided to take up driving at last.. lol.. with my sista~
grace!!! lol... i can't wait~~
you know... maybe the cliche - every cloud has a silver lining - still holds....
though my life may seem pretty miserable now... i noticed something really wonderful has been happening lately...
through my rough tides...
he was there for me... all the way... even from the 2nd of march~
he's been so sweet... such a darling.. and i feel so guilty that i can't repay
him in anyway coz i'm really not in the right state of mind...
had a chat with
him tonight.. and
he gave me a really sweet surprise....
his new mp3 player... my gosh... *melts* i can't believe it... i still feel that it should be
his... lol...
thank you
baby for being there for me... i don't know how
you manage to find it in
you to make me laugh and smile so much even when i'm so down and out...
you make my frown turn upsidedown... and
you seem to do so so effortlessly!
you're truly amazing...
your labcoat? i'll practically swim in it... lol..
i'm really counting down to friday... i really need my significant other to be with me... i can't manage everything on my own... i'm suffocating...
-SAT?-
,
8:59 PM
i've just sunk into another stage of depression...
i'm wondering why life is so unfair...
why some people just can't get things right and have to mess up my future...
how dare you just make one person so darn ecstatic for one moment and throw him/her back down right to hell~?! do you think that's fair? what's worse... it's my FUTURE!
bad impression remains etched within...
i feel like typing more.. but i'm really just too depressed to talk about anything...
-so irresponsible-
Sunday, April 22, 2007,
5:11 PM
ni ni!! you did it too!! so happy for you too babe~ =)
Cheers to the two of us =)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
i finally feel like myself again... not the aimless soul i felt for the past one month or so...
i finally feel happy again~ my gosh... i replenished my sleep too~ (:
i'm back to all smiles.. heehee~
Congratulations to those who have gotten into their courses already....
you know.. until today... i only know 4 people who got into the unis... better still.. with the courses which they have wanted...
to those who haven't recieve any news... don't fret... they are just taking a long while... and like what some of you guys said... when God closes the door... He'll open a window...
look at me... i've climbed through that window =)
lucks to everyone who needs it in some way or another...
-oh happy day...-
Friday, April 20, 2007,
9:40 PM
OMG!!! I'M SO HAPPY!!!!(at least theoretically speaking..)
I GOT IT!!!!!
after all the tears shed and the depression cycles... it's all well paid off.. i'm really so delighted....
thank You, Lord for answering my prayers...
thanks to all the friends who were so concerned... i wish you guys the best too~ may you get into the course you wished for...
and you... haha... thank YOU... you made everything just so worthwhile... looking forward to tomorrow =)
-an answered prayer-
Thursday, April 19, 2007,
6:47 PM
took leave today... i needed the rest... and thank God for the company...
guess i really needed the time to be alone... to just stop worrying.. to just move on... after he left... all i did was to just sit down... have a cup of English Breakfast Tea Latte(my usual order from coffee bean)... and just spend some time with myself... yup... guess i need my space and the air.. heehee~
well.. i'm glad that We are one step closer to what We desire... i'm so happy to hear such news... and i was so convinced by that dude.. lol...
even though i needed to wait for a pretty long time... i think it was worth the wait... and the money... heehee~ at least i could help in some way... it may be a small way... but at least it's a gesture =/ right?
funny thing was that i read the whole HOME section of today's newspaper... MY GAWD... i think pigs are about to fly~ if you know me well.. i really loathe reading.. just makes me sleep... i was practically yawning and tearing as i was reading.. lol.. but i wanted to read it larhz.. at least now i know what is "Sibor"... after hearing it quite often at my workplace.. lol... you can comb through the money section for that :p
it was a rather fruitful day... simple things really made me so happy... just that sadly.. i was too tired to express it...
i've got my wishes tonight... heehee~
cheerio~
-it's a secret-
Wednesday, April 18, 2007,
9:02 PM
dang~ my heart.... it's relapsing...
taking a day off tomorrow... for the past two days i wasn't in the best of mood, really... maybe that's why this whole thing is happening again...
maybe i should learn to take things easy?
big thanks to my colleagues who made my days so pleasant despite my foul mood.. thanks and sorry to those who had to tolerate my insolent behaviour...
i AM focused... but i can't what i desire... that's my problem...
-should i choose to fit into shoes? or not get them at all?-
Tuesday, April 17, 2007,
10:02 PM
today was a really mixed up day....
i really feel as if my body is disconnected from my brain... haiz.....
feeling really low today.. so much so that i stuffed myself with so much food that i had a tummy upset... lol... i think what really caused the major tummy ache was the two large scoops of rich chocolate ice cream i had... i insisted on generating my endorphines... lol...
had dinner with dee dee at siam kitchen.. gave her a birthday dinner =)
but boy were we DAMN full... lol...
anyways... really enjoyed her company... from exchanging jap yen.... to speaking the language.. LOL.... "are you pregnant?" LOL
ok.. i'm very tired... having bad back ache....
nights world...
-a promise made is promise kept =)-
Monday, April 16, 2007,
10:53 PM
well.. today is a good day.. i didn't have monday blues!!! heehee~
and let me take this opportunity to do a shoutout to a special friend of mine...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEE DEE KHO!!!
YOU LITTLE BABY TURKEY!!!
sadly we couldn't really meet up as a group today...
so i had last minute plans with my ex classmate/partner - hui wen... we headed to our usual hangout.. and my GOSH!!! i caught this cute kitty in the arcade!!! it was my 1st attempt at it and i'm so happy!!!.. you know the dream catcher machine thingy with claws? lol...
here's a pic of my new kitty =) (its height can be measured from my waist to my chin! that's how big it is!)
well.. initially i caught one with yellow ribbon and one of its eyes was winking... but when the guy at the shop opened the machine to put a new replacement kitty.. i asked for a pink one.. he nicely exchanged it for me.. whee~ so happy i got the pink one :p
funny part was when the two of us were so certain that it'll drop back to its original place.. and we didn't really anticipate for anything to happen... but guess what?! it hit the edge and rolled into the hole! man am i so lucky... heehee~ we had like a 2 sec delay reaction time sort of thing.. before we actually screamed... lol.. thank God not many people were there...
yes yes.. as he said... he thought me physics... heehee~ so... thank you~~~~~ *smuacks* =)
anyways.. i'm so glad that i got better news this morning.. i really hope this will work out for you.. i'm a real eager beaver... heehee~ -prays hard-
tomorrow is free cone day at ben & jerry's.. so are we all going? let me know okie? see you all soon, babes...
OHOH! one last thing...
i'm trying to organise a BBQ for the CJChoir of 2006!!! please tell me if you can make it.. it'll be after june 10.. that means after our juniors come back from their trip.... i need the numbers before i can make any confirmation...
hope to see you all real soon~~~
-elated-
Sunday, April 15, 2007,
5:24 PM
well... another week has come and gone again..
i had a reasonable weekend... nothing too fabulous, really... was bored stiff on sat...
but sat night was cool~ literally... lol...
OH NO~~~ i just got some news about someone... and i'm freaking happy! AHH!
*must focus*
heehee~
well... to you out there.. i'm so glad that you've found some help... and plus... recieved a really cool letter... i promise you... i'll take leave... be it half or full day... just to accompany you... okie? heehee~i hope this coming week will be a better one...
-now who said wishes don't come true ;)-
Friday, April 13, 2007,
9:32 PM
once again... i'm in distraught... all i have been doing is to pass indignant remarks... like how much nicer can i get, seriously?
well... the hottest topic has suddenly revived...
well... not surprising.. seeing as may is looming by...
i'm becoming more and more splenetic...
sometimes i wonder... why is it only when i'm emotional and so darn affected.. that i become this articulate...
back to where i left off.. i think i'm treating others with less cordialty... in a perhaps i would say... standoffish manner...
not just to my peers.. but to some specific others.. i think i have been rather isolent...
gosh... who am i now exactly? have i lost the real me?
how disconcerting.
well... on the flip side...
i have been trying to keep my spirits up with some great company of my friends.. =)
firstly... i had dinner with 2 babes.. both ni and dee.. and YAY... dee and i have gucci wallets! lol.. i sound like a total bimbo -.-'
we suddenly brought up our good 'ol days... and my gosh.. yes, gone were the days... where we played like there was no tomorrow.. lol.. leading such carefree lives..
also... aini and i were commenting on how we never met dee until we were sec 1!!! the funny part.. ni didn't even recall that dee was her ex-classmate in primary school.. ultimate man! lol... as for me.. dee was in the class next to mine.. and neither did i notice her despite being so close... lol..
so we dined at Just Noodles at suntec... following which.. we decided to head down to dee's church... pretty interesting... an eye opener, i must say... love the fact that they have got bands.. but what can i say? i belong to a more old-fashioned and stringent religion... i'm not complaining.. heehee~
here are some pics from last night
this morning.. dee and i had our morning run... forgive me for being obscene... i could actually feel my fats jiggle! yuks please.. lol.. i feel so unfit la... haiz... but it was nice... really encouraging to have her company early in the morning just so that i can shed some calories off :p
you know... back when i was in school.. i was always phelgmatic towards PE lessons.. and strangely enough.. recently i seem to be rather enthusiastic about wanting to lose weight... interesting what vanity can do to us, ladies, especially... lol...
but frankly speaking.. i never really bothered about image.. at least not of my own...
so wow... am i really me? haha
-and it continues to beat a slow rhythm-
Thursday, April 12, 2007,
11:05 PM
i look back... and i came to realise that i've been working for close to 4 months now...
my understudy has arrived for 2 weeks now... soon it'll be time for me to impart my whatever little knowledge i have to her... the interesting part... my post will soon be a permanent one... so looks like i am unable to work here on a contract basis in the future... at least not for the same job...
i was offered to be a greeter... but i demurred.. simple reason being that i love my job now... even though what i'm doing is rather stipendiary.. but i am fortunate to get such a homely environment...
in view of me studying few months down the road... i was also offered to work during the weekends... but once again i repudiated.. even despite knowing that i would be offered a much decent pay... for a more remunerative job... only because i feel that studies should come first... i can always find a job again on i've graduated ya?(in addition.. i don't think i wanna wear such hideous uniforms :p ok la.. their new uniforms ain't as bad as it seems... just that the buttons are of low quality and hence they drop off pretty easily =/) but now i'm giving it second thoughts... do you think i made a wise choice?
not that i dislike working here.. in actual fact.. i love it here and i can't emphasize any further... it's so rare to find such working conditions ya?
that's for my worklife...
as for my lovelife... hmmm... feel free to take a look :p
once in our lives
we'll meet a very special person
one that will laugh with us
for simply no reason
one that will smile at us
brightening our days
and one who will be there for us
washing our tears away
more often than not
we take their love for granted
it's either we don't bother or we forget
so here i am
taking a break from my busy day
to especially write you a note
to remind you for your special ways..
yes, you Are special to me =)
-thinking of you constantly-
Wednesday, April 11, 2007,
7:56 PM
Missing someone gets easier everyday...
because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them,
you are one day closer to the next time you will...
Don't you just agree with me? =)
-miss you-
Tuesday, April 10, 2007,
12:07 AM
dear bloggie...
i didn't have any monday blues today! =) i think it's coz i had a great weekend... heehee~
memories still linger... smiles etched within...
sometimes... i just wished that time would come to a stand still... so that we can treasure that certain moment for a really long time...
heehee~ i'm just so in love...
-living my fairytale-
Monday, April 09, 2007,
12:08 AM
it's my turn... to be up at such unearthly hours... i can't seem to fall asleep... and i've got work tomorrow.. sheesh...
my heart is hurting, literally... why?
it keep missing its beats... it tends to make me gasp for air... i don't think that's normal right?
i think i need more rest =/
anyways... let's see how things go for me this week =)
nights world...
-you're being loved-
Sunday, April 08, 2007,
5:06 PM
HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE~!!!
the day has finally arrived...
to those who knows what i'm referring to.... it was a SUCCESS!!! wheee~
i had so many variations man... ranging from 512 to 520 to 521... but i settled for 521... safest number :p
now it's time to let my fingers heal.. heehee... show you some pics ba... =)
*~Singing Her Song~*
Friday, April 06, 2007,
11:10 AM
to some of you out there...
wah~ now i know how you girls felt when you did what i'm doing now... it hurts sia... lol...
but well.. at least i'm coping well with much patience and determination..(luckily i've got loads of patience :p)
*ouch* so sore.. haha...
but all of this.. is done for a worthy cause...
-40.31% and still loading... remaining estimated time: 30hours?-
Tuesday, April 03, 2007,
10:32 PM
beware: long entry :p
went out with my class partner, hui wen, last night.. heehee~
intended to do something.. but we got distracted in the end... bleagh... oh well..
played some stuff at the arcade.. lol... reliving childhood? DDR! lol... funny man~ tried to catch stuffed toys from that whatever-you-call-it machine... lol... we tried our luck at it... stitch for her and the cat for me... we both caught our respective toys.. but once the claws hit the top... the expected thing happened... they both dropped... i really like that cat... but no point wasting our time and money on that... lol...
we landed up using our cash to buy kueh tu tu... bought for my dad, initially.. then she introduced it to me after 18 years of my life... i disliked the thought of having to consume coconut and hence didn't bother to try it out.. when i did... to me, it tasted like the drier version of muah chi... i know i'm weird la... but it's really not as bad as i thought after all... :p
went to verge! 50% off please!! not going to say what i got from there just yet =p though i think it's rather obvious... but not for your eyes just yet.. only for *ahem*.... as they say... must dress to impress... LOL!... moving ON...
don't ask me why... i'm missing the feeling of singing in an acapella group... it really is fun if the group can pull it off... haiz... i don't mind singing the classics like "stand by me" or even "for the longest time"... i just want to sing again... with a small group of people... haiz... but how? everyone's leading their own individual lives now... it's already so difficult to meet up... let alone sit down and form a group in the name of fun... bleagh~
funny... i've got homework to do... missed this word sia.. lol...
got to do some reading up...
got to get some questions set...
got to mark papers soon...
no, i'm not a teacher... lol...
but in my company... i am one.. lol.. it's fun.. yet sadistic at certain instances :p
some thoughts just began to bug me...
i'm trying to force myself to not think about it..
exactly how? i don't know... i'm just trying...
i don't want to be chained down with such harrowing thoughts on my mind...
i really don't wish for it to be a formidable problem...
in a state of consternation.
the feeling came.. and gone...
now... all done... one more month to live peacefully...
in apprehension
in trepidation
suffering an intermittent pain..
-results.. distance.. emotional death.. more results... and more distance.. Death?-
Sunday, April 01, 2007,
6:17 PM
one big load off my mind now... but another to come my way...
in no time.. May and June will come... and i'll have both my fingers and my toes crossed... lol... >.<
yet another sunday has arrived... and i'm reluctantly waiting for the sky to turn dark... and eagerly waiting for the next weekend to arrive... real silly, i am... aren't i? i know of those who share the same situation as me... but all i've got to say is that we've got each other during the week ya? just endure... no pain is unworthy of me enduring when it comes to you...
and now the sun sets...
there is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass...
and my heart sinks slowly.. just like how the sun sinks into the sea...
from a distance...
if only this was a genuine april fool's joke...
sometimes... certain emotions are just overwhelming and inevitable...
-languishing away within my four walls-
