the pain lingers...

a song that really depicts my mood... but some lyrics don't apply, most definitely....
really hooked onto this song.. really like it so much...


痴心绝对

想用一杯Latte把你灌醉 好让你能多爱我一点
暗恋的滋味 你不懂这种感觉 早有人陪的你永远不会
看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴 是你永远不曾过的体会
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
看见你和他在我面前 证明我的爱只是愚昧
你不懂我的 那些憔悴 是你永远不曾过的体会
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
曾经我以为我自己会后悔 不想爱的太多痴心绝对
为你落第一滴泪 为你做任何改变 也唤不回你对我的坚决
为你付出那种伤心你永远不了解 我又何苦勉强自己爱上你的一切
你又狠狠逼退 我的防备 静静关上门来默数我的泪
明知道让你离开他的世界不可能会 我还傻傻等到奇迹出现的那一天
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲
直到那一天 你会发现 真正爱你的人独自守着伤悲

went to certify my supporting docs today....

went back to see my sec school again... food still yummy... missed those days where we had to rush down for recess to eat the famour roti kirai... lol..

thanks God KC could certify all my certs... and my gosh.. i almost died of heart attack when the admin lady said i had to fork out 60 bucks just to get the docs signed!!!! luckily got mr karib and my ever so wonderfully influential geog teacher, miss soo... to help us sia.. lol.. in the end it was free and she signed all my docs for me.. so sweet please!!!

headed down to parkway parade.. ate ice cream and sushi while waiting for my passport-sized photos to be done.. ugly as usual.. who cares... only for SIM's student pass.. lol...

went down to NUS... and yay! i'm done with one more uni~

next stop.. tomorrow... UNSW!...

saturday.. SIM!

SMU... hahah.. no idea yet :p
just apply for fun la hor?


oh no.. i miss you so bad... what's happening to me these days?

moving slowly.... but surely....

was as gloomy as the weather today.... i stared out my office window... watching the raindrops fall against the window pain.... so soothing.... yet not....

workload was extremely ridiculous towards the end.. but i took it al in... nice as usual... but someone said that that just made me seem as if i have no principals... is that true? sigh....


on leave tomorrow... to settle my uni stuff... with ni ni~

i need a reason to be happy.. and i've yet to find it...
i know it exist... but i think i'm just too blinded by my worries...

i just want to be that happy and care-free girl again...
help?

feeling accomplished...

thanks to those around who helped me...

funny how at this stage of my life... i need support so much.. yet i wanna be left alone...



i'm waiting eagerly for friday...

stress

that's the best word that describes me now...


i wish you are doing ok...

i've got so many things on my mind...

so many things on my 'worry list'... and i wish i knew what to do about them all... my head hurts.

if only someone could be in the same boat as me.. i need to confide... i need more time... someone.. help me please!

Lord... please count the tears i've cried every night and answer my prayers...

why is my world revolving around this dumb issue over and over again?

there's no easy way...
it gets harder each day...

i wish i had more strength...

i just got too much on my mind... and i just need to know how to deal with everything..

i feel so small.. this whole thing is just disconcerting... i wish i could just expunge all these thoughts and unhappiness... but the question remains, "how?"
i'm just one of the fallen ones...
and i sincerely hope you will be alright... i'll probable be worried sick each day... if only i could help in some way.. if only...
-reproached-

let me share with you my happiness...

just this week.... i had two days of all-expences-paid trysts!!!!

my gosh... guilty... but i am oh-so happy....

i'm like the happiest girl on earth~!

cloud 10 with a silver lining? =)

i really treasure every moment spent with you...


today...

met up with the J3s from choir! OMG please.. it's been so long since we've sat down.. chat.. and laughed together.. it feels oh-so good! so nice to see friends... smiles... hear jokes...

and it was my very first giant earthquake! :D

here's the photos from today y'all =)

~Friends Forever~

on the sad note...

he's booking in on monday... to a far far away place...

i hope the cliche still stands- distance makes the hearts grow fonder

had a ball of a time last night... been so long since i've done those litting things.. felt real warm and fuzzy... heehee~

weather has been pretty gloomy the past two days... but it ain't bringing me down =)

my poor friends are having hard times with their love life... and i truly hope that they'll recover from the hurting soon..

to the girlies:
i'm here okie? just give me a buzz.. i'll be there to listen... may not provide you with the best advices.. but i'll still be there for you all... remember... friends last a lifetime :)


omg.. i so haven't done my applications... help~ anyone in the same situation as me? :p

talk about dampening spirits...

mine are worse than dampened.. if only i could think of a word for it...

looks like i've messed up my life...

i feel numb towards everything i do...
it goes to the extent where i don't even feel.. even thought i missed 5 meals...
but filled with rage with the thoughts of myself...

if only my mother knew...

knew that i can't move on...
knew that i love her...
knew that my words and actions are not done because i'm unappreciative...
but rather because i hate to know that i've landed myself in dumps...
and now i need to rely on others..
being a spoilt brat..
i'm unhappy when i can't get something done my way...
being sentimental...
i'm despondent... coz of the state i'm in...

i just wanna sleep... and never wake up... that way... no one else needs to be affected... no one else have to suffer my misery... no one needs to carry this burden, this cross...

that way...i can stop the pain... permanently...

the outcome........ only time can tell...

ever felt lonely?

ever felt that you've lost a part of you?

ever felt disappointed due to your high expectations?

ever wondered why things always don't go your way?

i'll help him complete the countdown...

1 more day to POP!

happy happy POP!

P-O P-O P!


it's finally his POP tomorrow! and i'm so excited.. it's my first.. and i would suppose.. my last time seeing this.. lol.. like once in a lifetime experience... i've got no bros nor cousins going through NS.. hence my statements...

well.. at least i'm on leave tomorrow~ =)

today was a mad day at work for me :s

am i worrying too much?

am i thinking too much?

stressed out?

need chamomile tea... but i don't have it...

sick again... lower temp though...

door are beginning to close... one by one...

had a temp today of 38.6... thinking that i only had a migraine.. until i reached for the thermometer... lol..

thank God for friends... they are truly blessed...

i miss my chamomile tea!!

now drinking loads of barley water -.-

immune system crashing.. but not my willpower =)

to those who know my plight and what i'm going through right now...

i'm on my road to somewhere now.. at least better than before... i hope i made a right and wise choice... it may not be what i've wanted so much.. but i can't ask for more... it'll be very harsh on me...

i'm so drained each day.. just thinking about my path to choose... but this song inspired me... listen out to the lyrics... and you'll understand...




I have often dreamed, of a far off place,
Where a hero's welcome, would be waiting for me,
Where the crowds will cheer, when they see my face,
And a voice keeps saying, "this is where I'm meant to be."

I'll be there someday, I can go the distance
I will find my way, if I can be strong,
I'll know every mile, will be worth my while,
When I go the distance I'll be right where I belong.

Down an unknown road, to embrace my fate
Though the road may wander, it will lead me to you,
And a thousand years, would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow I'll see it through.

And I won't look back, I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track, no I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope, but I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance, and my journey is complete

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star, I will go the distance
I will search the world, I will face its harms
I don't care how far, I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

I will search the world, I will face its harms,
Till I find my hero's welcome, waiting in your arms

yes.. the horrific moment is finally over...

but i MUST say....

i am EXTREMELY proud of my significant other...

i truly don't know how he copes with everything... from academics to me... i'm truly impressed... and really admire his determination...

so proud of you... i told you that you wouldn't screw up your math S right =)

anyways...

i hope all you peeps out there did alright too... if you didn't... don't fret... there are other opportunities available... just wake up.. sit down and think.... you are bound to find some way out...

because I DID... =)

SHOUT OUTS!!!

thank you so much, my dear friends.. and my love...

for being there for me at my lowest... making sure that i was sane.. and still in one piece.. i truly treasure all of you.. for now i know who my true friends are...


aini: girl.. you've been there for me ever since primary school... watching each other's back... baking tarts for me... you're such a sweet girl please... thanks so much for takingthe effort to rush down all the way just to see me.. i really appreciate it... though i think you shouldn't have... not very nice of me to bug you like that... sorry =s

amande: girl! you arhz.. thanks for the pep talk we had today... you opened my eyes to a lot of things... at least i am doing better today... so glad to know that i've got friends like you both around... gosh... you both are real GEMS

xinglong: you arhz... i don't know what to say la... YOU RAWK LA!! lol... BIG TIME!!! been there for me every step of the way... so sorry for making you worry... i promise you i'll be sane... i won't die... i still need you by my side =) *smuacks*
[content will not be further elaborated as writer feels that is it private :p]