Wednesday, December 20
as of today,
HTTP://ANDYY.VOX.COMi've decided i'm moving to vox. my blog is a way of introducing myself to the world, but more importantly, it's a record of my life; it's a monologue to myself as a third party.
i'll try vox out regularly for a month first, and if i still like it, i'll move permanently; i might miss blogger and decide to come back here.
BUT i'll still keep this blog, firstly because it still houses many memories/ thoughts and secondly because it still contains links to contacts.
merci.
`wordsofthecynical
11:40 pm
Saturday, December 9
i'm leaving in like 3 hours time.
a mix of emotions.
i know this trip to italy is a very rare chance, and i know i will enjoy it.
but yet part of me feel like it's such a pity, in the sense that it feels like my holidays are now 11 days shorter. i know i should take this opportunity to get some R&R, but i know also i'll already be worrying about next year -
my grades, my commitments, my work. i know i'm a worrier ):
so yeah, it's that conflict that's making me a bit reluctant to leave. but as i always tell myself, i have to learn to let go. it doesn't help at all that the moment i'm back, i have rs and orientation to contend with, not forgetting rock climbing season and river raft race.
and of course, i'll sorely miss rachel, chao and xinty. it's almost like i haven't spoken to them in
ages. odac, i don't even know when i next get to see them.
if it's any comfort i get to see patrick and chee on the very day i touch down.
vox scores one for aesthetics, wordpress scores one for being able to have externa links.
i still can't decide between vox and wordpress. meanwhile, enjoy the photos from cambodia.
`wordsofthecynical
7:47 pm
Friday, December 8
yaoz, i'm in a dilemma now.
thinking of switching to either 1) vox or 2) wordpress.
both has it cons, though personally i find vox more aesthetically pleasing. and wordpress is a bit diffucult to browse. any suggestions?
click
http://andyy.vox.com to view
click
http://andyy.wordpress.com to view
i'm leaving tmr for the airport, the holidays feel a bit sad.
`wordsofthecynical
10:02 pm
Thursday, December 7
one request -
please don't question me further on what happened in cambodia unless i offer you more information voluntarily (which is highly unlikely). if not, leave it as it is. it's not a sensitive issue, it's just that it isn't something you want to recollect over and over again.
went to see aj today, and she's doing even better now so great (: it's amazing how fast she recovers, really.
swopped half of my phone cover with patrick today, so my phone is now a funky half red half black colour whoo :D quite cool actually.
patrick gave me a lift to taka, then got to bugis with chee weili viv. got uhh stick on nails which i promptly removed when i got back home, i detest not being able to type a sms properly.
being with them made me kinda wistful, and then i wished i was with chao again. at points when i was walking down orchard rd, i missed cambodia terribly. i don't know, maybe i was never suited to be here? or maybe the grass is always greener on the other side? i'm not saying i dislike singapore, but maybe i prefer the simple life.
i don't know, i'm definitely planning to return to cambodia, even if i don't make it as a mentor next year, i'm going back. sometimes unexpected things make such a deep impact. i think osl did me good, it made me re-evaluate myself.
on another less related note, i still think blogs are slightly narcissistic, even if some say it's
only for self expression, to release pent up emotions etc. ultimately blogs are still centered around self isn't it? it's about what i did, what i think, who i know, what i want to write. but what's wrong with that? narcissism doesn't equate screaming for attention, and it's not pathological narcissism.
random fact: i enjoyed the time with the frog guru today, even if patrick doubted it. haha yes, quirky man, but then quirkiness makes for a very interesting and amusing conversation :D
crap, i need to start packing soon, have i ever mentioned how much i hate packing?
It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
`wordsofthecynical
9:02 pm
Wednesday, December 6
got this from tami's blog :P
ipod quiz
Type: nano 4GB
Color: white
When did you get it: erm, can't remember, it was free
Where did you get it: singapore
Why did you get it: because it was FREE. hehehe :P
Scratches: none, cos i've got a red hot leather case to match.
Volume Level: changes
Battery Level: almost flat ):
How many songs: 815, but my ipod playlist needs an overhaul.
Favorite song: eh i don't know, it changes. currently it's probably i hope you dance by LeeAnn Womack.
Least favorite song: hilary duff's so yesterday. YEAH MAN, it's SO YESTERDAY last year.
Favorite artist: varies, but i like rock/ oldies.
Least favorite artist: hilary duff i guess. teenybooper pop -.-
How do you get your songs: various sources
1st Shuffle Song Name: Pretty in Punk
1st Shuffle Artist: Fall Out Boy
Do you like this song: yeah.
2nd Shuffle Song Name: maybe tomorrow
2nd Shuffle Artist: stereophonics! (it's from one tree hill hehe)
Do you like this song: yeah.
3rd Shuffle Song Name: five colours in her hair
3rd Shuffle Artist: mcfly
Do you like this song: it's upbeat.
4th Shuffle Song Name: out the back
4th Shuffle Artist: fort minor
Do you like this song?: yeah.
5th Shuffle Song Name: what are you waiting for?
5th Shuffle Artist: franz ferdinand
Do you like this song?: yeah.
as you can see, my music taste is quite varied :P
Do you have pictures on it?: yep, my most valued memories only.
Do you have videos on it: i wish
Do you like your iPod: yeah.
`wordsofthecynical
9:47 pm
Tuesday, December 5
i got lost today and ended up in science park. so yanhan asked me to take a cab, and the fare was $2.50. it didn't jump at all, that's how close nuh was -.-
we were just saying aj would need an elephant's dose of sedatives to be sedated. but she's doing well (:
ate lunched at the canteen with group 3 plus teachers and laughed and laughed and laughed. oh damn, i miss the osl team already, we're a crazy bunch really.
watched a battle of wits with patrick and sherry. good action movie i guess, but it was stupid. not plot wise stupid, but stupid in terms of what the characters could have done -
why couldn't he do that earlier?! or
why can't he just do this instead of that?! (it is a movie about tactics, fighting and war) it's supposed to be a battle of
wits afterall. can't wait for
charlotte's web, apocalypto and
fast food nation.hillsong is stuck in my head, (and thanks to sherry)
i hope you dance as well.
I HOPE YOU DANCEI hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat, but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance, I hope you dance
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances, but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart, leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance (Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance (Where those years have gone)
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance (Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance (Rolling us along)
I hope you dance (Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance (Where those years have gone)
this is one of the rare songs where every line means so much more.i better get around to doing my reflections.
/i think i might start having osl withdrawal syndrome soon.
i also think backstreet boys is classic. yeah so what if they're bubble pop (sometimes), their songs are so singable (evident by how much we were singing during osl) and catchy./
`wordsofthecynical
7:53 pm
if you're wondering how on earth i am able to blog, the truth is, i'm back.
yes, team rgs osl cambodia 2006 is back in singapore.
for maybe not such a great but very important reason; i do not wish to elaborate.
aj's fine and kicking in typical aj style. just give her your prayers for now and don't creat further disturbances. praise the lord.
i want to thank my team -
all the effort put in, the communication problems, the uncertainty, and now the unexpected; i think has made us even more closer to each other. especially after what happened, the bond between us definitely exists, and that bond is very special, something that even the osl india team would probably not experience in the same way.
i'm a week earlier back from cambodia, but i doubt the amount of learning is any much less. what we could have learnt in 2 weeks, we learnt in 1; i think within that 1 day we took away much more than what we would have in 2 weeks.
i can't say osl changed me, but i'm definitely different - emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. i don't want to forget this experience, because that would mean forgetting lessons that i take for granted here. but something definitely clicked inside, i don't know yet whether the difference i feel in my heart will show itself outwardly to others, but i know there's something different, i'm still finding out what it is.
i'm not going to pour out my heart and soul here, because i know what i've learnt - time can never take it away from me if it's meant for me to remember.
it's strange the moment i step back into singapore, i feel like i'm in another dimension. the high rise, the technology, the food, it's a bit surreal, just like how it felt when i first stepped into cambodia. but 1 week there, it felt so natural. it's amazing how two places/ cultures/ groups of people on the same earth can be so different from each other. but in the end, home is where the heart is, and heart is my family.
i'm just grateful this trip brought me closer to God, and i thank the people who helped me to do that. what happened was unfortunate, but God meant it to happen.
i want to thank meakea, mr sineng, mr kosal,
mr sarim, the meakea kids, the botomsoriya kids and the cambodians for making my first time there so enjoyable.
as a wise man, mr tan, said,
"learning is easy in difficult situations, the challenge is to continue learning in comfortable situations."random fact/ of all times to fall ill this year, i just had to fall ill on the 2nd day of osl. i just felt like puking initially, but then found out that i had 37.8 deg fever. yeah i know you're thinking 37.8 deg only no biggie, but my baseline temp is 36.7+ and when i get a fever i'm always rendered useless; i feel horrid even if it's a slight one. and it didn't help i couldn't ingest anything and constantly felt like vommiting which was made 100 times worse when the bus shook.
`wordsofthecynical
12:40 am
Saturday, November 25
HIATUS 25th Nov - 8th Dec
INTERNATIONAL CONVENTION FOR YOUTH LEADERS 2006 THUS CONCLUDESit's the end, and it doesn't feel like the end. strangely,
i'll miss the early mornings (0645) at Metro YMCA walking the foreign delegates to school,
i'll miss the late nights introducing the foreign delegates to Singapore,
i'll miss the hours days evenings weekends in the Student Leaders Activity Centre (SLAC) working crazily,
i'll miss the irritating bleeps from the walkie talkie with motomouths and you can't understand a word,
i'll miss not putting on my lanyard which says
student-mentor on every morning.
i'll miss being able to say
"i'm slacking at the SLAC!" (pun intended)
Finally, it's been a hectice 5 days, but it has also been a success.
THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO PUT IN ALL THE EFFORT, TIME, AND MADE SO MANY SACRIFICES. Bye everyone! i'll be in Cambodia (:
last minute packing and reflection, it still hasn't really sunken in...and similarly, it hasn't sunken in that ICYL has ended.
I'll miss everyone, and i'll really really really really really really really miss the few people, you'll know who you are when you get it :D
ok, so this is my last post, no more posts till i get back.
so, watch this space (on 8th Dec)
`wordsofthecynical
12:44 am
Thursday, November 23
going to Cambodia for OSL in 2 days.to those who want to say bye, the flight isMI 602, 25 Nov SIN-PNH, 0840.I'm bringing my phone but don't call/ sms when i'm there unless necessary.Yep, i'll miss y'all!
`wordsofthecynical
2:12 pm
Wednesday, November 22
tonight was FUN i admit (:
haha hosting the india delegates is super hilarious (x first they kept gushing about the wonderful food at scotts, then when we let them try ice kachang they went "oh superb!" and promptly pronounced it as ice couture?! LOLS shopped a bit at far east and the india teacher laughed when i tried on a pari of sunnies because they made me look like a bug. people somehow like laughing at me/ what i say huh.
then we introduced them to neoprints. and ohmygosh it was so funny because they were so excited, especially when we couldn't read the jap words and just randomly picked a few. i haven't taken neos since like start of sec 2 i think?
haha and then the rest of the time was spent thinking about and crushing _ ahem.
this is was at VS, taken by jonathan tan
with the india delegates
`wordsofthecynical
11:00 pm
i am not high today. i've been thinking about some stuff, and i realised that maybe if one day i had the chance to study overseas, it wouldn't be so difficult for me to leave anymore
great friendships don't come easily, and i'm grateful for all of them.
i recently read a blog i haven't read for some time, and i guess it made me even more sad, because people change so fast. why do you have to fit in and be accepted?
me? i'm finally daring to be myself.one degree was something i treasured. sure, i might not have been able to contribute a lot, but i definitely learnt a lot from people older than me, and my nepalese and cambodian friends taught me that friendship really can extend and last beyond physical boundaries. for
you to associate one degree asia with other scandal-riddled conventions (that secondary school students attend) where the main activities are networking and socialising, just by the few words you said is an insult to me.
i'm relieved it's over, because now i see everything so clearly, and it was obviously a hasty and impulsive decision on my part.
money isn't the root of all evil, greed is.
"Money rests on the axiom that every man is the owner of his mind and his effort."
interesting article, go read:
http://jim.com/money.htm
went to VICTORIA SCHOOL just now with weiling to do the sharing. omgosh, their school is like 100% times 294785873475o389 times nicer than ours, no fair! ): pretty school though, i like the artwork all around (: it's like biennale except smaller scale in a school (: i got their PSL badge as token of appreciation, so that makes me a honourary PSL of VS? whoo AHAHA yeah i'm a guy you know? thanks jonathan tan, ren an, marcus, and nicholas lah i guess (even though i don't rightly know any of them)
damn, it just started raining.
`wordsofthecynical
1:16 pm
Tuesday, November 21
WHOO HOO I GOT MY SHIRT YAY THANKS! :D:D:D i'm happy cos now i have 2 to my collection!
just got back from night programme with the foreign delegates, it's tiring being a host i tell you. but at least now my ICYL experience is not just the daily 7.30 walk from YMCA to school, cos that's boringg. and tmr is shopping so i'll be shopping (some)! :D but yeah, it was cool yo.
tmr is the vs sharing which i am
so looking forward to. yeahh and i got my 1 GB memory card so more pics! :D
dinner
food street!
US! :D
bonnie and i (:
ICYL OC Team! <3
oh drat icyl is soon and i haven't even looked at my packing list! dies.
oh and by the way,
THE ITALY TRIP IS 100% CONFIRMED WHOO! :D
and yep, i'm sitting with derrick on the plane/ no way am i sitting anywhere near my siblings, there'll be no peace. it'll be back to back with cambodia, i'm leaving on the 9th. so to those who won't see me during cambodia, you won't see me for about 1 month as well, plus i'm missing like ALL the informal ODAC sessions! ): i have a lot to catch up on work as well!
`wordsofthecynical
11:32 pm
Monday, November 20
i realise i'm freaking exhausted and in not much mood to do anything/ but there's the pile of work waiting.
talked a bit to _ today, guess things will never stay the same forever.
dear rachel chao xinty,
if you ever read this, i'm sorry i haven't spoken to you in like 234873097845 years, it feels much longer than that. but like patrick says, there will always be the few whom you can not speak to for 234873097845 years, but when they call for help, you'll drop everything immediately and go. and when you do talk again, it'll be like nothing happened. thanks for everything (:love, andy
`wordsofthecynical
9:55 pm
honestly, it's been a whirl of activity lately, i can't even keep up with what i'm doing sometimes.
Friday leadership camp started off, and i wasn't there because of the meeting with mrs deb tan. the meeting was quite good i say, not scary at all (probably because none of the other exco were there). mrs wee accidentally let slip the places for lead camp when i wasn't supposed to find out! :P cabbed down to yishun safra and still got to do the 6 storey abseil and canopy walk. canopy walk was done alone with whynne and melvin and it was slightly torturous because they kept shaking the rope ): haha but i had so much fun :D and abseil was scary! (yes, i'm still a little scared of very high heights) but then fun (:
trekked to dairy farm for the night, the place is so new. on the way there we met patrick on the bus, who was going for a "barbecue at chestnut drive". but really, thanks for staying with us (: next day was the looooooooooooooooong hike from mayfair park in bukit timah (just off bukit timah rd, opposite KAP) all the way to Macritchie resevoir, if you know how far that is. i kid you not. some minor glitches along the way like encounters with teeth-baring monkeys but nothing really serious (: kayaking was great fun though, i thoroughly enjoyed it. i still maintain that macritchie resevoir is
the best place to kayak - fresh clean water (:
from then on the seniors were quite nice to us (: mrted to sentosa where we had a few pitstops before finally getting to bathe! :D and we even had bunks, air conditioning and cooked food (wow! a first for leadership camp). i learnt a lot from the debrief and batch talk that night. at least some issues were brought out.
yep, i want to at the same time
thank all my batch mates, chao chee viv clynn rene sheryl weili tata tolan, for being there no matter what. in particular chao for a very special friendship and clynn, for thanking me during the last day, because i had no idea what i said would be considered by others as something meaningful, and i thank you for that (:
sunday morning was yet another great learning session, plus the performances, the hugs, the laughter, the story, and not forgetting, the climbing poster! a great way to end a great camp for a great(er) odac.
i would really like to thank the seniors, yaya whynne rachel siti weishan olli; the teachers, mr tan mr lim mr tee mrs anis and the "newest" member of honorary odac, ms nelly leslie. Without selflessness, passion and dedication of the above mentioned people, this camp could never have taken place, and odac wouldn't be the way it is.
today, day 1 of icyl is over. i don't know how it went, because i was doing osl the whole time. but here comes the rest of the week.
replies;
oce: i don't dao tags! i was away at camp from fri till sun, sorry! anyway, my batch mates say i shop like a guy because i already know what i want beforehand, so i just go straight and buy it and get out.
bern: yeah i know! ): boo
rene: YO GIRL! how's life there? fun? HOPE YOUR CHINESE YOU3 JING4 BU4 WO4! :D don't miss singapore too much!
kelly: haha you look great! yep sure, i'll send it soon! (:
jukhie: haha jukhie rocks MORE! (: haha you're so pretty :D have you seen? someone's on the latest issue of spiral magazine eh? :P
jia: haha it's funny! :D
edit/
ms nelly leslie said we are an impressive lot! :D
/edit
`wordsofthecynical
9:13 pm
Friday, November 17
I WENT FOR PROM TONIGHT.
well, not my prom.today is the start of "everything", and i mean everything.
went to school early for OSL to learn the dance, and jiawen laughed at me while i was practicing my malay section in the corridor! went for odac lead camp packing before cherm, viv and i walked around far east to find a dress for wynne tang! i was getting a bit frustrated because we couldn't seem to find anything suitable for her, cherm and viv started complaining that i shop like a guy again. in the end, we went back to bugis to buy her that dress, a belt and earrings! (: OHMYGOSH do we have good taste or what?! (you'll see why in the pictures later) even the belt fit her nicely (: chermaine and i have a pact that we'll go back there to shop (:
rushed home and did some weights, then showered and cabbed to orchard hotel, where i ate good food for dinner YUM! (: then the seniors started showing up (: i'm so glad i went ok! my eyes were like staring half the time (i think i'm half blind from all the glitter and bling). i almost didn't recognise jukhie and siti! and wynne was like wow, bomb! shan't steal the limelight, let the pictures speak for themselves (:
30 mins to glamour
shuhan and yen! (:
elvis the man!
ollie bollie!
juan xiner me (:
me siti wynne
wynne tang the model!
farewell alma matter o6 |':
OHMGOSH, i have so pretty/sexy/hot/cute seniors! :D :D all grown up and dressed up (: i feel slightly emotional now that they're really graduating. i can't even imagine me graduating next year...
i kept stealing patricks's cam to play photographer, but hey i can take good pictures ok! (yityng says so!). mr lim wanted to take a picture with me (?! not my prom), so you know, the height difference, tiptoeing makes no difference. mr ong went
"jump, andrea jump!"
take care seniors, i love all of you muchly! (:
YOU'RE LEAVING ON A JETPLANE FOR A JC.....and now my week of odac lead camp, icyl, and osl commences, don't be surprised at the lack of updates!
replies;
serene: heheheh, hope you're having fun there dear! :D
jac: WAH! THANKS AH! first i get told i shop like a guy, now i
look like a guy -.-
jia: heh, thanks :D
leena: hi! hope you're having fun during the hols!
oce: hahah i like the shades too! :D and my hair is cooler than yours! :P :P
`wordsofthecynical
12:34 am
Thursday, November 16
have i mentioned how much i hate angst?
finished packing, ta, i'm off for some Zzzz.
`wordsofthecynical
1:09 am
Wednesday, November 15
i said i would pack up my room and clear this year's papers by this week, before icyl and osl, but that doesn't look like it's going to materialise.
and now mum says the italy trip is in danger of being cancelled (50% possibility! ):) so that might mean no euro ): but hey, at least i can use the time to pack my room and i won't have to do it now! :D and plus we can have more baking sessions.
batch sleepover was fun aha, shopping and talking. pictures up another time cos i'm lazy like that. we started out at marina sq, and ate cartel for dinner, before moving to bugis haha! i got my belt and shades yo (: eventually we went back to cherm's house to slack, eat and watch movies.
the first one was
when a stranger calls, which i stole from derrick :D cherm viv and i were hiding behind the pillows (i know we're scaredycats, it wasn't even horror, just a thriller), weili and sheryl were just stoic. the second movie was rush hour (yeah like half of us fell asleep then cos it was insanely uninteresting). because my
hitch dvd couldn't work ): on cherm's player, we watched rush hour (whereby half of us fell asleep because it was insanely uninteresting). yeah and i doubt we finished the movie (i wouldn't know because i was sleeping), the next thing i remember was being dragged to the room by cherm and falling onto the bed.
our movie marathon was 1.5 movies long, isn't that just great? YEAH I KNOW WE ROCK RIGHT. shi bai haha.
i have my first official meeting with mrs deb tan on friday, should i be scared?
OSL draws near, and after the mock lesson we gave, i feel very unsure but very excited. sometimes, language isn't needed to communicate.
grrr my throat is constricted plus i'm sneezing every 5 mins. not to mention i have a huge tummyache ): i'm going to take medicine and rest, so much for the ache today.
`wordsofthecynical
1:50 pm
Monday, November 13
I GOT MY RED STRIPED CRUMPLER! :D thank you wen!
As much as i hate to admit it, (and though we're not exactly very close) i will miss serene leong yenling when she leaves for taiwan ): mostly for her kuku-ness, plus i want more shopping sessions.
finally got my PEAKS profile today! some suprises here and there. i'm more assertive than i thought, i'm quite visionary, and apparently have low anger management (like uhh?! but i rarely erupt).
some expected results too, i have high level of composure under stress and not very easily embarrassed. my intellectual curiosity is high :D together with thrill seeking (no surprise there). quite interesting going through the whole profile.
ICYL has been at full steam for almost 3 weeks now, and i'm finally feeling the heat, though my job isn't very intensive compared to others. i'm not sure why, but after a few hours in the SAC, my head throbs, i feel lethargic and i want to rest ): but i'm
proud of everyone and how far we've come, it shows the dedication and plain hard work and sweat of the student leaders in rg. it's just that everyone else don't see how tough it is, and some of our school mates are so judgemental and cynical towards student leaders, (thinking we're the elites of the school etc etc), but it's not easy at all. Not many people can show the amount of dedication the ICYL team is, just to make sure that it turns out to be a meaningful success for the participants.
JIAYOU EVERYONE! IT'S ONLY 6 DAYS AWAY! :D
`wordsofthecynical
7:16 pm
