What’s the schniz, wiz?

Colinoscopy
Colin Powell has resigned as Secretary of State, after a long period of humiliation by his lessers. He will be replaced by Condoleezza Rice, whose i.q. seems to decrease by a half a point for every day she remains with the Bush Administration. John Ashcroft has also resigned, to pursue a career in statuary drapery. He will be replaced by a fellow who advised the White House in 2002: "In my judgment, this new paradigm [um terrorism] renders obsolete Geneva's strict limitations on questioning of enemy prisoners and renders quaint some of its provisions requiring that captured enemy be afforded such things as commissary privileges, scrip (i.e., advances of monthly pay), athletic uniforms and scientific instruments."

(You can find Alberto Gonzalez’ full legal advice to the White House here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4999148/site/newsweek/)

Erm. Er.
From the AP: “A man set himself afire Monday just outside a White House gate and repeatedly yelled ‘Allah Allah’ after Secret Service officers put out the flames and one held him facedown on the sidewalk.”

Ditto: “Just hours after a man set himself on fire on Pennsylvania Avenue, another man jumped the fence onto White House grounds.
[A]round 5 p.m. Monday, the man scaled the six-foot high fence, landed on the other side, and was pounced-on by the uniformed Secret Service….
Officials do not know what sparked either man to do what he did."

DVD
Been scrolling through the various menus, trying to find things that don’t work, or take me to places I don’t really want to go, like North Dakota in February. Thankfully, that hasn’t happened.