Salon.com Books | "The Truth (With Jokes)"

Al Franken pukes into his wastebasket in Chapter 4 of his new book, then spends Chapter 5 in "Rove-induced septic shock."
Salon.com Books | "The Truth (With Jokes)": "He then analyzes this victory, citing figures from the Economist showing that the percentage of the electorate who voted on the basis of 'moral or ethical issues' was actually lower in 2004 than in the two previous elections. 'Okay? All right? So it wasn't moral values, asshole. (Although coarse language may have played a role.) It was terror. Terror. TERROR!!!' writes Franken. He cites some 'not so widely reported' remarks made by Dick Cheney while campaigning: 'We have very credible evidence that tells us that if [John] Kerry wins, the following states will be hit: Ohio, Florida, Pennsylvania ...' This, like many others in the book, is one of those jokes you don't laugh at so much as nod at, thinking, 'Oh man, that's so true.' Indeed, here and elsewhere, Franken's not just being funny. He includes some pretty interesting stuff about a subfield of social psychology called 'terror management theory.' One TMT study showed that -- paraphrasing here, but not making it up -- test subjects, including liberals, were more likely to prefer Bush over Kerry if they'd been prompted first to think about death."

PERKS OF BEING OVER 50

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.


2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.


3. No one expects you to run--anywhere.


4. People call at 9 pm and ask, " Did I wake you?"


5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.


6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.


7. Things you buy now won't wear out.


8. You can eat dinner at 4 pm.


9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.


10. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.


11. You get into heated arguments about pension plans.


12. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.


13. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.


14. You sing along with elevator music.


15. Your eyes won't get much worse.


16. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.


17. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.


18. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.


19. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.


20. You can't remember who sent you this list. And, you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.

Quotes of the Day - The Quotations Page

Quotes of the Day - The Quotations Page: "Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.

- Alfred E. Newman"

Salon.com | The land of Republican perfection

Salon.com | The land of Republican perfection: "At this point in time, I don't see Karl Rove or Tom DeLay writing a good mea culpa, and I doubt that Colin Powell or Donald Rumsfeld will either. And of course presidents never do, and here is one more proof that we are not now nor have we ever been a Christian nation. Confession is at the heart of the faith. (All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.) But under this administration, the faith has been revised, all the stuff about the poor has been tabled and the confession of sin omitted, and prayer is now a promotional device in which you thank God for making you the terrific person you are. In the Christian view of the world, these folks rank lower than outright atheists, which is a terrifying aspect of the faith -- better never to have believed than to use sacred things for your grimy self-aggrandizement -- and which might scare a Republican into writing a decent book. One can hope for this."

Qoute of the day

Those who agree with us may not be right, but we admire their astuteness.
- Cullen Hightower

Chicago Tribune - Obituaries

Now here is a man after my own heart.
Chicago Tribune - Obituaries: "In lieu of flowers, please send acerbic letters to Republicans."

Great cartoon. http://www.thenation.com/doc/20051010/comix 

Great pic