Lovedrunk.

Sometimes it just feels empty,

But sometimes it absolutely kills me,

The way I miss you,

despite spending a day with you.

Why do I long for your presence to such an extent?

I know I love you so very much, you mean the world to me,

But somehow I feel this is so dangerous.

Tonight is one of those nights where it's killing me :(

It's like suddenly I have a lot to say to you,

a lot that I wanna do with you,

But you're not here with me,

So I feel lost.

And I know you'll never miss me til' my extent,

But somehow it's perfectly fine to me.

Why? Why do I miss you so much... :(

Perhaps forever is long enough?

Hahaha nonsense.

Can I live without you now? I doubt so.

If I were to lose you now,

I'd lose myself for sure.

Sometimes I act like it's ordinary,

but at the very sight of you,

My heart feels like screaming to the world,

SHE'S HERE! SHE'S HERE! RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! WOOOOOOO! <3

But if I were not to restrain myself, which I am so good at,

I'd probably scare the shite outta you with my reaction. Hahahaha.

It's come to a point where,

the only time I am in absolute peace,

Is when I'm with you.

And I have to admit, it's embarrassing to me how much I need you in my life!

Mr. Clingy-Pants.

But yes, I need you in my life.

I'm like the kid who can't be away from his mother too long. Ewww!

Hahahahaha look at me.

Can't sleep.... miss you too much.

Being deeply lovedrunk.

P.S: GOODBYES SUCK!

Sayang, I'm sorry if I scare you with all this. Hahaha it must feel really strange and kinda disgusting reading all this, huh? But it's the truth. The kinda truth you get from people while they're drunk. Hahaha. But no, I'm not under the influence of alcohol.

I having a feeling I will feel like slapping myself later when I read this. Hahaha!

But one thing will always stay true: I love you, Nad. With all my heart.

Thanks for putting up with my craziness and bad attitude.

I'm crazy for you, baby~

A Bit Of The World And Mine.

Looking back at the past,

Seeing the present,

Pondering on about my future.

Today, I have seen the ugliness of the world.

But the beauty of mine.

I have seen injustice. I have seen cruelty.

I have seen how heartless people can be.

How selfish and evil human beings are.

But in my own world, pardon me if it does not have any connection... I have seen,

What a great and firm leader my father is,

What a loving and compassionate person my mother is,

What a beautiful and motivated girl my sister is,

What a handsome and successful man my brother is,

The beacon of light that is my baby brother. Ya Allah you took his intelligence away but verily you can return it to him if you will it. The only consolation I have about him is the promise of a place in your Garden, Ya Allah.

And I pray, I pray hard that all of us will be reunited there with him. :,(

The lessons and the sustenance for which you have granted us to take care of him, they will be so valuable in our lives.

And then there's you, Nadhirah.

What a strong and beautiful person you are.

How you put my heart at ease.

Putting up with my shenanigans.

Making me feel so special in a way nobody else has ever made me.

Allah has surrounded me with such wonderful people :) and I haven't even spoken about the wonderful people living next to me and the people whom I'm gonna meet during Raya... :)

Sometimes I wonder how I can have the capacity to hurt them.

I love them all so much.

Please keep all of them safe and sound, Ya Allah.

Alhamdullilah, thank You for your blessings upon us.

I'm willing to die for them.

*sting*

It's like camping out below a beehive.

It's scary at first with all the bees hovering over your head.

But then you start to accept their existence and live with it.

But once in a while, a stray bee flies into your ear, nose etc...

And you freak out.

Two things might happen:

1) You panic and become frantic as you swing your arms in terror. Your arm hits the beehive above you. Thousands of angry, swarming bees then converge on your being. Before you know it, you're covered in stings.

2) You get scared... but the bee simply flies away and all calm is restored.

It's okay to live with it... but somehow you just run the risk of the beehive itself falling on top of your head.

MINDF***ED.

WOW.

JUST WOW.

....

NOW WHAT?

Wow :)

It's been quite some time since I've felt this easy and happy :)

I don't know why or how, but my feelings towards you have grown stronger. I realize how difficult it is to be without your presence now. Just like the old times.... but it was different then. I didn't know what it was. It's also hard for me to imagine how my life would be if I hadn't found you.

Probably empty, lifeless and less awesome.

Loving you has thought me so many lessons. It made my way heart stronger. Made me realize what love is all about first-hand, where in the past I used to read or hear about it. Loving you has made me into a better person. The best thing is, I'm still learning as I go. Though my heart is still weak, it still grows stronger with every passing day.

The short time of break so far has also made me realize how much I miss my family. How they make me laugh and help keep my head on my shoulders. Sometimes I forgot how important they are to me... and that they're still the 2nd best pillar of support when I'm feeling down. When I look at my lil' bro, I remember how fragile life is and how someone important could be taken away from you in a blink of an eye. He's still with us, but I can't help feeling I've lost my baby brother.... :,(

But this Ramadhan has been soooo great for me so far. Although I haven't exactly clicked into gear yet, the lessons and revelations have been flowing so generously. Thank you, Allah :)

Now, I just wanna surrender fully to You and learn to let it go....

I know it's possible... and I have 100% faith in it.

Guide me, Ya Allah. I know not the solutions to my questions but verily, You do.

P.S: I'm really glad you like your gift, my dearest darling Nad :) you have no idea how beautiful and sweet you look when you smile... it melts my heart. That's why if I were to walk a thousand miles just to see you smiling back at me at the end of it, it'll be so worth it. I love you, sayang.

Gems Of The First Day.

Dan, don't be lazy.

You haven't achieved anything great / reached your goals because you were too lazy to get up and get what you want.

If you want any hope of keeping the promises you make to yourself this time around, stop being lazy.

So far, so good. Keep it up, man.

Dan, be patient.

Allah S.W.T presents you challenges in order to test you and to make you stronger. Especially in this wonderful month of Ramadhan, where the rewards are bountiful but the obstacles are more daunting. Stay calm and remember Allah through your difficult times. Seek His help and guidance for it is the best assistance there is. Insya'allah, your patience will be rewarded.

Don't give up. You didn't for 5.5 months and now look where you are. Don't worry, the answers will come to you one day. Just hang in there, buddy.

What will it take to shed off all that weight inside?

Thank you, Allah.

Ramadhan 2011!

It's here!

Alhamdullilah, ya Allah, thank you for bringing this opportunity to me again.

This year will be different from the others...

There is a new set of challenges that await me.

Unlike previous Ramadhans, I won't make promises this time.

I'll just try to do everything while in remembrance of Allah S.W.T.

Insya'allah I will be guided to be my best.

More respect,

More gentle,

More care,

More love.

Danny, if you ever find yourself in trouble, remember Allah. And also remember, given the opportunity and circumstances, you would've probably done the same.

I know it's not what you're looking for, but at least it lifts the weight up a bit.

*pats back* alright man, go get em'.