Indulge in Cynful Pleasure

BACK FROM GENTING.

nothin very eventful actually. just shopped and lazed around.

and a $800++ dinner

well thanks to my dad, everything was free cuz he won quite abit at the casino.

soooooo that's good... i guess.

OH WELL. gotta pack for church camp tomorrow. SAYONARA

an accident happened in front of my.

the bike was flying.

so were the bodies.

even blood too.

i see regret in the driver's body language.

i see one of the 2 move.

he sits up, holds on to his partner's hand.

he cries.

i was scared.

i've never seen life disappear right in front of me.

fragile fragile life.

i'm gonna make the most of what's left.

please give me the chance to.

What i'm about to mention, might offend you. but hardly anyone knows bout this blog's existence, which is part of the reason i'm not afraid to rant. plus the fact that it exists for me to voice out what i feel needs to be heard, but afraid to admit that i am of this particular opinion, afraid to be condemned by it.

oh well.

screw public opinion. i am who i am. who is to define me. i am by my own definitions.

yet hesitation in my heart is what made me use the smallest font available, hoping it turns people off, limiting the people who would actually waste time and effort to read the ramblings of an individual. who is absolutely insignificant in the face of the Almighty, society.

here goes...........

why do people like to club?

that's what i asked myself in like, sec 2.

so i tried. and it was awesome. it was the best nights i ever had.

or so i thought.

when i look back now, was i having fun?

yes. but not because clubbin was fun...

it was cuz clubbing provided the opportunity for me to indulge in a seperate alternate reality.

a reality where people cant see you, where your voice is drowned out, where everyone is orchestrated to the beat of the music.

to conformity.

it was an escape.

foolishness. mere futility.

it gives some of us the chance to unleash the beastial, primitive, lustful side of ours, all under the cover of alcohol. are we really drunk? do we really not know what we're doing? or issit what we want to be?

or is it just us not wanting to control ourselves? to let ourselves be seen as who we really are, as who we hate to be seen as in the public eye?

it is my realization after years of denial. after tryin to hide the fact that i do club. because honestly, deep in my heart, i know the reason behind such an atrocious waste of time and monetary possessions, and i'm deeply, deeply ashamed of it.

in the end, those who resort to this activity are merely unable to face who they really are due to the fact they want to appear as who others want them to be.

i was a fool.

but people are entitled to their own opinions. i embrace and accept this fact.

thus i believe, you are either a fool, or a helpless soul stranded in denial, forever forced to drift in a state of limbo, never learning from your flaws, never growing.

what i believe may be wrong to you.

but it will always be right to me.

till someone proves it to be wrong.

peace.

OH DEAR. forgot to add the went to NUS to deliver famous amos cookies to phyll.

piece
of
shit.

i shall never promise to deliver stuff ever again.

i gave up lan.
i gave up online chess.
for freakin, facebook at nus study room.
and subway (which was awesome)

oh wellz.

so much time.
can afford to throw some away aite??

okay... so what have i done after A's ended.

-online chess (codename)
-bbq/fellowship @ east coast park
-sleep
-update psp
-play psp
-lan

THIS IS IT???? OMG I HAVE SO MUCH CATCHIN UP TO DO. first i need to play more online chess.

and then i have to get wow back up, and wcIII, and buy fm 10, and COD modern warfare 2

WEEEEEEEEEE

since i start today, i shall only blog bout today.

lemme see. i woke up @ 10, cuz luke called me. freakin scared my balls cuz i thought it was 2 already. after that, i went back to sleep, b4 wakin up at 1 to wash up.

then lan-ed with luke and kenneth. BATTLEFIELD 2 best shizzle ever.

we need to bf2. IN HOUSE. cant wait for more lan.

but we should never play dota. LUKE SUCKS COCK. freakin useless boy.

and then i went to meet ash & pals. freak i was told some dam fierce girl was gonna own me cuz of smth i said bout my dragon. nice "he hasnt met the dragon slayer". owning. and one of em, i swear, is too freakin tall.

note to self. keep distance from ash's st margs pals. as scary as cresc peeps.

lol.

update tomorrow. lazy. gotta get back into this bloggin everyday thing again

i love arsenal, talking utter rubbish, entertaining friends, sleeping, drawing, southpark, MY FRIENDS (:

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Phyllis (:

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