Wednesday, April 30, 2008
♥ 1:34 PM
It's really very seriously disturbing because the latest nightmare I had involved me killing someone, destroying evidence and being on the run. Like, I saw myself doing it and it was frightening. Although I think it was somewhat in self-defense ? Plus a bit of anger and hate. I have no idea why. I apparently have issues that I don't know about. Plus, I may be watching too much CSI.
***
On a completely unrelated note, Tory from the mythbusters build team is quite hot. Hurhur. Back to readings !
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
♥ 9:48 PM
Oh damn it's already 2148 and today's been horribly unproductive (which day isn't horribly unproductive ???) because I overnapped (by 2 hours !!!) and indulged in what else but chunky monkey (my 'free' ben & jerry's.. it's free cone day and I'm reminded of how much fun db and I had last year queueing at novena and looking at hot caucasians.. ahhhh we have to go out soon sk !!!) and mixed berry yoghurt (separately, of course) over Mythbusters and episodes of Friends.
Meep. And now that the horrors of lit are behind me, I can whine about my non-inclination to touch social geog. All those abstract concepts in overly verbose writing and millions of pages................. Better decisions, better decisions.
I've much to look forward to though ! My revised SAF08 schedule means more moolah ! Although going for arts camp means less moolah. Lols. And then there's the choir concert and of course the dozens of fun outings that will put the summer vacation in high school musical 2 to shame. HAHAHA.
Oh and (see ! notice ! paragraphs !) my 2221 coursepack is missing many pages. I AM ANNOYED. >( But I still like how tourism is progressing, slow but with note cards. Hoho.
Qua was telling me that she closed her blog cos she found that it seemed boring. Well I think mine's boring too. And overly fluffy. But I think it's how I get by. Seeing as how I do it on a daily basis. It's me telling the little (bimbotic nonetheless) details of my life that are important (somewhat) to me. Responses are nice but not required so it's more of a.. dramatic monologue ? Is that the correct lit term ? HAHA.
Suddenly I find that I know quite a few people who are going to change the world. Maybe. Someday. Somehow. People who are very different. Corinna, Jiechao, Jeremy, Joel.. Even people like xunny and graces. Really scary and yet admirable. Hrms.
Monday, April 28, 2008
♥ 11:03 PM
As jq said, no more arch nemesis for sem 2 ! WOOOOOOTS :D
Apart from that, the papers today were just really gross. Largely because I had no time. ))); Doomed. Oh wells. Onward to the next 3 !!!
And yuklum and qua were telling me to use bigger font, more colours and more paragraphs !! Haha.. I like small font =X
Sunday, April 27, 2008
♥ 11:27 PM
Argh, a visit to the soci forum plus a warning from desmond (gamelan friend) has made me wary of the asian boy ! He is quite harsh and has high standards. Oh dear.
Consequently, I am really fretting for soci. The lack of examples and case studies is a very pressing issue.
Let's not even go to lit.
Less than 24 hours from now I will be a very relieved bel. I hope. Unless I am fraught with dismay and in tears. =S
As Dilbert says
OUT OUT YOU DEMONS OF STUPIDITY !!!
I don't need luck. I need answers.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
♥ 11:55 PM
Not a productive day. You know, I think I'm only productive when I study seasian music or tourism. And soci. It's not only because they really interest me but also because it's neither as random and vague as lit or as waffly and abstract as social geog. Sigh. It's weird because I don't get readings for lit because I'm supposed to do close readings of the text. Which is kinda difficult for me cos I prefer to have things clearly laid out than to have to dig and squeeze out meaning which may or may not even make sense. And especially at this point where there is no time. So I guess the gazillion people who think I'm the lit sort are dead wrong. Lols.
I really can't wait for monday to be over. So I can gobble up 2221, 2218 and 2224 readings PROPER. Although I am very proud of the 5 note cards I've made so far for 2218 using prof chang's method. (: I think I shall employ it again next sem for all my mods when I WORK HARDER. Gosh. It's me working smarter too.
Bleagh. Sometimes I just want to heck everything (for lit) and just wing it. HAH. Which is so. not. me.
♥ 1:22 AM
Why is it that as the exams draw nearer my days are more unproductive ? It is lit I tell you. And partly social geog. ))): I will make better choices, I really will.
Michelle my belle, have a great (and safe) trip ! Love !
You know every day I wake up knowing that studying lies ahead, all I look forward to is sleeping. Which is horrible. Because sleeping signifies the transition to a new day of studying. And just another day to the exams. Sigh.
I hope tomorrow's more productive ! The internet is super evil. ): With interesting people on msn and online shopping and even stupid facebook. Pah. I just want to travel. Thailand please !
A vague supplication.
The Thomas Theorem.
Sir Elton John anyone ???
Friday, April 25, 2008
♥ 1:06 AM
Today has been a rather warped day. Starting with snoozing my alarm clock at 750am, oversleeping till 10am, sitting in my swivel chair, UNPRODUCTIVE, for like 9 hours, my father messaging me that my aunt is in a coma and finally hearing from him when he got back that she passed away.
All that in a thursday. And I am just sitting here. Stoned. Perhaps the shock not yet registering because we weren't that close. Perhaps because the radiation and the lack of activity is getting to me. Perhaps the inertia and lack of productivity is making me dizzy. I don't know.
Maybe maybe if my supplication was a lot less vague. How ironic that it makes so much sense now from when I first extracted it just because it sounds nice from Waiting for God(ot).
***
Although I must thank chaobaobao for driving me insane and yet keeping me sane.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
♥ 6:15 PM
Okay, this is random but I only watched (abit, cos I forgot) American Idol last night because it was the andrew lloyd weber special and I must say, Carly Smithson (??) was fabulous singing Jesus Christ Superstar ! Am so going to watch the musical on dvd after exams !
Damn, am supposed to be studying lit. ): Hatessss it.
♥ 5:12 PM
Oh, I just saw your posts tmx, lols.
Okay basically what I'm trying to say is NOT that they don't have good points or that they are horrible people or that I hate them all or anything along those lines. But it's just that they've been socialised differently and hence come to have slightly different expectations of girls. (single sex vs mixed) This is especially the case for the more 'MCP' typed people. I'm not saying that there aren't other reasons such as differing personalities and er stuff (I can't think of any other broad factors hrms) but that is a singular take (and my one at that) for their behaviour. There are definitely anomalies but if you do realise in GENERAL (general being a broad retrospection and overview of two whole years and of everyone involved, based on our class. not based on all the boys in aj, or all the boys in angmokio etc) they tend to reach out to the girls LESS than the effort we make in reaching out to them. In general. Not specific guys, not specific groups. (there are obviously people who are different some people like shawn and jianqi maybe who were more inclined to mixing with the girls sometimes but it's difficult to deny that as a whole, there wasn't proper assimilation)
When you say you don't see a problem with them, that they are just being themselves, it presents another angle. Because the fact is that you were from a mixed school (not discounting your observations of church friends and sibling) so your perception of guys is way different from mine. Even the (very very few) guys I knew before jc were from single sex schools. So our perceptions and expectations of them are obviously very different due to the ways we've been socialised.
And either way, my case is not that either 'type' is better. I'm just stating my (and as such, shaped by my background and experiences) observations. Not relegating mixed school girls and boys to a lower 'level' but a very general and common stereotype because of how I've been conditioned to view the world. It's just that now I understand better perhaps why our class girls (IN GENERAL, AS A WHOLE) were not as close (that one is difficult to deny) to the guys as the maybe some other classes were. And anyway, bringing that up also, studies have shown that children are naturally socialised (most of the time) to stick to their own gender especially if they are in the public sphere and not required to cooperate.
And on the flipside, one can always argue that similarly our response is also voluntarily limited. And and similarly, there are exceptions. There are girls who are more willing to reach out and there are girls who don't bother. Oh and (I just thought about this) maybe it is PRECISELY how we girls are socialised that makes us bother more to reach out to them. That makes us more liberal in taking the step to ask them out, to ask for their opinions, to take the initiative. Which kinda proves my point about how IN GENERAL how we're socialised results in different outcomes. (definitely anomalies within us.. like siyi ? she fits the demure profile what..) So anyway, I'm just generalising here and plus, blogs can never be 100% objective ! Especially not one that is restricted to the public. HAHAHA. ;)
But yes, anyway, am taking everything with a pinch of salt. Thanks for your opinions ! (although I never intend to stimulate much discussion with my posts, more of a log for myself) We should discuss this one day like, AFTER EXAMS YEAH. Hurhur.
♥ 4:26 PM
Damn the internet is evil. And argh, I don't feel like studying for lit ! I'm not even sure how to ! ): I will make better choices next term. Starting with no 8am lectures and tutorials ! Bleagh.
Crapcrapcrap.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
♥ 12:39 AM
Two chapters of soci, some Shakespeare and a 2221 reading that's just about 60 pages short. (okay, the writing's accessible and the pages aren't that long) Intended to finish another chapter of soci and more lit but oh well. That's what tomorrow (today) is for.
After reading the chapter on gender I kind of understand the class situation I was in better. Generally the guys from mixed schools were not as open to mixing with the girls. It's due to the socialization achieved in the mixed environment they were from. There was a general bias towards males and hence subordination of females. You stereotypically get more girly girls who know how to 'behave' around guys. Whereas the bulk of us are from all girl schools. Adel from ij st joseph's, pong and siyi from ij st nicks, liangpei from raffles and I from cedar. Plus you have the anomalies of yunhui and tmx and caryn. And then there's humz. So I suppose the guys weren't receptive to us who were more boisterous and daring. It went against convention. And now I get why such guys like sweet, demure, 'cute' types. (which I personally don't get sometimes) They've been socialized so well over the years that they come/want to adopt traditionally and relatively 'male' characteristics of dominance and pride. Maybe that's why so many girls from single sex schools hook up with guys from single sex schools. Because they're more liberal in a sense that the other gender is not constructed and reinforced daily so they are more receptive to all kinds of girls ? I don't have any statistics to back me up but the whole socialization thing makes sense. Social constructionism ! Bleagh.
The fireman and the penguin(man) are as handsome as ever. HAHAHA I am such a voyeur. And the whole do or die thing db mentioned just made me laugh like mad ! It was a different case but it's fast turning into another now or never issue !!! Hurhurhur..
Lit and geog of social life are going to ruin my cap. ))): Am extremely worried for the former especially. Howhowhowhowhow ! I've no time to re-read my texts !!! ): And there are just about a MILLION poems ! Damn ):
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
♥ 12:30 AM
Not a good start to the week. Lesson learnt. I can't study in school. And the travelling time is ALOT SUCK. I feel overwhelmed suddenly by the amount I have to do for lit. ARGH. ): Plus, the abstractness of 2224 is annoying me. I'll be so relieved after lit next monday. Which is approximately 4pm. Social movements is quite a dull chapter.
May tomorrow/today be more productive !
Sunday, April 20, 2008
♥ 11:24 PM
YAYYYYY DONE WITH CHARPENTIER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Random mynah that perched and squawked outside my parents' window (:***
Horrible headache, rawr. Had the MOST RANNNNNDOM phone conversation EVER. Am very amused by henry, lols. Okay, this week will be my most productive week of the sem ! Go me !
♥ 12:34 AM
Argh, am feeling really horrible now. Bloody cramps. >(
I'll have to work doubly triply quadruply quintuply sextuply (okay I'm stumped..) octoply (???) HARD and SMART this coming week after the @*#&@#(*&$@* concert is over. I know I know. There are issues that I have to settle once exams are over.
Thanks xunny dear (:
And you too tmx !
Had a great time at brewerkz and down by the riverside with birthday boy gwei, pyong, aggie and saffie. Though my wallet was in real pain. (: Monthly confession outings yeah ! Lols.
ARGH. Gosh. Wish me luck tomorrow.
And omg, I am so screwed this sem mans. Darn lit..
Friday, April 18, 2008
♥ 12:19 PM
Sometimes I just feel like chopping my hair off. It can get really warm out. And I love watching Mythbusters. And channel 16, Discovery Travel & Living. LOTR Symphony anyone ?
Oh, and I got both the LO and FA job for SAF 08. I'll only be working for about 15 days and pay doesn't seem that fantastic but it has erased the horrible-ness of this week. Praise God (:
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
♥ 9:35 AM
Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten - G.K. Chesterton
Monday, April 14, 2008
♥ 9:43 PM
Seriously, online is very boring for me. Facebook has become blah and online shopping (SHUSH ALL !) is just mindless repetition and pocket unfriendly. The only things that keep me coming here are the webcasts (dr ra*ffin is still sleep inducing though =/) and my tv series. (HIMYM and Samantha Who? on tues, Scrubs and The Office on friday)
Unfortunately, I don't feel like studying ! Argh, not in the groove yet. Lit is still a huuuuuge burden on my soul. Sigh sigh. Although ! I am (very partially) saved ! Because I found the course page on the intranet where most of the profs' lecture content is uploaded ! Hoho, Thank God (: Hopefully I don't fail this module. =/ I think it's very stupid that I chose en1101 over hy1101 (to fulfil the faculty requirement) when I took history in jc !!! Argh. I can picture my three history teachers sighing and shaking their heads..
Practice on sunday was a horrible disaster. It was beyond horrible actually, it was disgusting. AND I AM HAVING PROBLEMS SELLING TICKETS !!!! What bad timing. Yimei was making a good point..about commitment and obligation. Sigh.
I don't want this week to be over but I can't wait for brewerkz even though it's going to kill my wallet.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
♥ 10:16 PM
My threadless tees are here ! Hurrah ! -sound of change jingling in pockets- Broke ! I realise I chose very.. typically masculine designs. =/ Haha but I do like my dinosaur tee (:
My father chose such a horrible time to install cable. Rah, SELF-CONTROL. Am feeling very broke. I REALLY NEED TO FIND A JOB AFTER EXAMS. And I want to go shopping. Blah.
Friday, April 11, 2008
♥ 10:50 PM
Yay ! Last project for the sem over and done with. Jifang, Umar, Suhaila, Priscilla and Christabelle. (yeah ! it was so weird because I never know who they're referring to)
My eyes are exceptionally dry. I don't know if I'll be able to wake up early tomorrow. =/ I feel like having a macs breakfast though. Some mcgriddle thing. Damn their marketing efforts. I managed to sit through a 1.5 hour soci webcast on race ! I shall listen to the dr goh ones first, haha. It's a good start right ! Yesyes, bel, the time to study is NOW !!!!
Watched the newest Scrubs and The Office episodes ! Ahhhh ! Hahahahahaah, I can't wait till next friday ! (((: And next tuesday for How I Met Your Mother. I feel like eating churros after watching JD with a giant one, lols. I miss gold coast..
I saw wailun in the canteen again and I tell you, humz is mad ! Haha I'm so amused by her stories.. And I like the banana milkshake ! Where can I find banana ice cream hrms ? I feel like going for the sakae buffet all of a sudden. Shokudo (raffles city) was quite good ! Hoho. But ex, bah. April's not a good month. So many birthdays and parties coinciding with deadlines and 'revision'. Bleagh.
Hurhur, love you too nessa :D
Trust me to spend 22 bucks on a Calvin & Hobbes comic book. I couldn't help it !
♥ 12:41 AM
Thanks saffie, qua and jq (=
I was just cranky yesterday. Sleep just made it all better.
It was truly a miracle. Directing my mother to school. By a pure stroke of luck and divine intervention, we ended up on AYE. Hahaha.
Thai music was fun today (: I'm really going to miss Pak Jan !!! He's adorable, with very nice blue eyes and has this self-deprecating sort of humour. And he's always so encouraging.. I'm tempted to join the gamelan ensemble ! Hahaha.
(after accidentally pressing something and creating some problem with the projector during lecture)
Pak Jan: Pressing the wrong buttons. The story of my life.
So cute right ? Hahaha..
Daniel G*oh is a close second because he has this very charming way about him and a nice voice. Plus he makes soci extra interesting. Okay I'm just biased and I sympathise with a fellow punggolite, haha. =X
Okay I can't wait for the week to be over. And I can't wait for charpentier to be over. And I can't wait for exams to be over. DUH. I just want to eat good food and visit nice places and take many photos. And travel.
Oh and some of my favourite series(s?) are back from the writer's strike ! The Office and Scrubs ! Can't wait till the links are uploaded. Hohohoho.
And lit is really making me depressed. So is 2224. But it's mostly lit. Damn.
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
♥ 11:37 PM
You know, I always wonder how come the people who are dearest to me (other than db), pten, do not read this log (and indicate so by tagging) and find out what's going on with my life. Then it struck me how we don't ask about each other.. We see each other on msn, are accessible by sms but we don't ask how each other's day went or if they just want a listening ear. (on a related note, it just makes me realise how lucky I am to have db and gwei talk to me about my day and theirs, genuine interest and all) I mean, I can't say so much either because I feel guilty about it myself. But I wonder if the rest think about these things. I know I should be doing more 'productive' things like er STUDYING but this is important to me.
I actually don't mind studying if I wasn't so tired. I'd rather study than work on the last leg of my 2224 project. Ergh. And lit is really a pain in the ass. =( It's become a burden actually. I mean, I might not do well for my gamelan module either but the difference is I enjoy learning and playing. Am quite looking forward to playing thai music tomorrow. Bah. I really hope my cap doesn't fall below 3.5.
And I get what you mean gwei. Being too tired to study is resulting in me thinking about how I'm destined to be companion-less. Ms Y*iak mentioned on sunday that one should really find his other half in uni. So I guess in summary, I will be living with my parents forever. I mean, it's not as if certain people weren't right for me (in a sense, they were very wrong) but to begin with, there was nothing mutual ! You can imagine that almost twenty years of existence and not a hint of a sweetheart.. I don't know why I'm babbling about this when I'm really quite exhausted and I'm technically still young but ah sigh.. I cannot deny that it doesn't get to me once in a while.
Bleagh. I don't often wear my heart on my sleeve. I think I wear it on my face. HAHAH. It's quite obvious when I'm pissed or upset I suppose. But anyway, it's weird saying such personal stuff here. Even though it's more or less a 'friends only' blog. Even then. Categories apply. Sigh. Sigh.
A lot of small little things are making me upset. It's making me particularly honest. Must be pms.
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
♥ 1:23 PM
This is REALLY bad. I've discovered a comedy series called Samantha Who ? and I have to complete my gamelan essay !!! I don't know where to start mans. Sigh. Although I think the greater issue is remembering what exactly went on like, almost two months ago. Ah wells.. All I want to do is take a nap. And watch the comedy. And meet the juniors tonight. Bleagh. On a brighter note, I'm going down for a job interview tomorrow. I hope I get it !!! Crosses fingers.
Monday, April 07, 2008
♥ 10:30 AM
Crap, I'm lazy to head to school for the 2224 meeting. But mostly it's because I haven't read enough readings to apply.. And I'm so screwed for the 2221 essay COS I DIDN'T FRIGGING KNOW THAT THERE'S A COURSEPACK ! Omgahhh. Sigh. And the term is going to end. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh. And the last practice for charpentier is next week. SIGH. SIGH. SIGH.
Talk about a bleak future.
Oh yes, and excitement has died mmms.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
♥ 12:19 AM
I'm glad ! Haha, cos hougang mall's Alano/This Fashion (don't scoff gwei) was having this sale and I wanted to get a dress for whee geok initially. But it was difficult choosing something that'd suit her so I ended up getting a top and a dress for myself. =X =X They're both very retro but I love them !!!! Am so glad :D 23 bucks !
Am seriously clueless about the 2221 report. =/ It's a good thing I have Mus on msn. I think. Will he even help me ?! Lols.
All my gay friends seem to be depressed. Hrms.
LIT WAS A HUGE MISTAKE. Sigh. And I'm starting to think that Charpentier is too.
Short-lived excitement. Ah wells.
Friday, April 04, 2008
♥ 10:32 PM
It's been an interesting week with ups and downs. Lit and music and 2224 made me very miserable on thursday but soci has given me hope, haha.
Go Qua !!! We can do it ! Hurhur.
Angeline is nuts I tell you. And today was my first time in YST !!! I feel so inferior in there. Gosh. I have to return and soak in the aura soon ! Was commenting on the guys after the thai music performance with Mus. That guy ah.. Too explicit ! Haha. But I saw two trumpeters ! (: Wailun was ushering and after the performance I saw the cute trumpet player from Play! Symphony ! Hoho, he is quite good looking methinks.
Only had 4 hours of sleep. Meh. Interesting conversations. Hrms.
♥ 2:20 AM
Thursday was utterly horrible. One of the worst school days so far. Lit was really a bad decision. I am thoroughly depressed. And I have to continue in this vein into the hollows of the night as I struggle with STARTING my social geog commentary.
Kyrie Eleison.
Thanks to jq, gwei, mike and darling radish for trying to cheer me up (:
Cheer up gwei dear ! The elephant will get his peanuts. Meow.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
♥ 10:24 PM
Didn't have class at all today (no 2218 tutorial) but trudged all the way to school to practise gamelan. For just over 3 hours. (I know, omgahhxyzzz right ? I hear it in my head which is throbbing, argh) But the snf,jhgs kfghlui part is that I couldn't practise with my group ! We have less than an hour tomorrow. Gah. So screwed. It's a good thing that Pak Jan is not as scary as thomas.. I hope practice goes well tomorrow ! That the room isn't overcrowded and I remember the parts for peking, kempul, kenong, kethuk and kempyang. -whimpers- Crosses fingers.
Oh yes and I had to plough through the most abstract, boring reading ever. About the Self and Other. Part of human geog. MAJOR ZZZ. Remind me to take a physical geog module next sem, I feel incomplete without one.
I'm still really high on Queen songs ! :D \m/ !!! Don't stop me now !
A built in remedy for Khrushchev and Kennedy
-Killer Queen