Tuesday, February 27, 2007
♥ 11:44 PM
RAWRRR ! So sad. I only learnt two new things about the cute cellist. And his name's not one of them. ): He's a smarrrt hci boy. Which probably makes him a year or two younger than us. But it's okay, he's an exception to my I don't like younger guys rule. HAHA. :D We'll see what happens after the performance this friday, lols.
Que sera sera, haha.
The acoustics are interesting. You are only really able to hear yourself. The sopranos really ring but altos are abit dark. And I feel quite alone ? Lols. I need to be brighter. Ahloy had better come ! Hurhur.
It's almost there. The point of no return. The start of propriety and civility for the sake of it. The mark in time where I say adios to anything more than fair weathered-ness.
Drop it like it's hot.
I'm never going to attain closure. What the hell is there to be afraid of ? Not that I haven't tried. So be it. And you call yourself a friend.
Your pants are on fire.
♥ 3:05 AM
I remember mark asking me whether I was still fighting with ____. Was it ever a fight in the first place ? Lols. Why'd it seem like it to other people ? Funny, I seem to be unaware of the wars I'm waging. Iron curtains and cold wars everywhere haha.
I'm a civil and generally forgiving person. I won't say no to any hand of friendship extended to me. And in all cases so far, I myself am the one reaching out first. So that probably makes me the bigger person. At the end of the day, I guess it's their loss if they fail to see that I have good intentions in the end.
Whatever. Blah. A lot of people are probably not worth remembering. Especially since I already have fantastic friends.
It's 0316 hours and I have to get up at 6 for work. I napped from 2130 to 0200. Yikes. Oh wells, hope I don't have to spend SIXTEEN FREAKING BUCKEROOS on a cab again. (that's almost 40% of my pay sigh) Slin wants to go out this weds and ruz is free for sure hahahah. But I can't. ): ): Weds is a p10 night. And our theme for this week is emo ! Lols. Cue pms-yness and incessant whining/whinging about upcoming friday.
The release of results have been confirmed. I'm not even going to add a gazillion sad faces here. Everytime I think about it my heart skips a beat. Not in a good way. Sigh. Day of reckoning. Will be chilling with db before that. Decided that the beach is not a good idea. Lols. I hope all will be favourable. The performance is at night after all..
Faith, faith. Faith that the path planned out for me is for the best and for God's glory alone.
Ate a whole bar of hershey's chocolate with cookies. And I bought oreos with peanut butter and chocolate filling. And digestives ! Whee, I like digestives. My chocolate craving diplaced my sour gummy one. Yikes, lethal for the voice. In retrospect, the oreos are a poor impulse purchase.
I hope I don't have to get new clothes for the performance. =/ This is random but ants don't seem to drown anymore.
My keyboard is spoilt. I need to pres really hard onthe keys. Notice the lackof an s and the scewysacebar. ARGH. I meant spacebar. I want to do a musical. Meeeow.
I just realised our plan will be incomplete. THANKS TO DJ'S ABSENCE ! But he can't help it. ): Boo.
Bohemia, bohemia, a fallacy in your head.
Monday, February 26, 2007
♥ 12:36 AM
Practice wasn't that bad because I'm more familiar with the lyrics. We just need to get our timing and placement and accents and dynamics down pat. Okay, that's a lot actually. LOLS.
Wayang Kulit ! Hahaha. So nonsensical. (mine actually wanted to fight.. don't know why tmx looks so happy ahaha)
Having fun with the random wig ! Hoho.
After practice, charlene suggested we head to gtchai's place for yusheng and 'golden pillow' (it's MARVELOUS curry and bread :D). Haha, turns out, it was the best suggestion from her ever ! Aahahah. His 5 room flat is gorgeous. Balinese style, really nice tv room, a cool study and a walk in closet ! Aaaaahhh. Like tmx said, he can just adopt us as his god-daughters. Hurhur. So yeah, we just chilled, chatted and had REALLY GOOD FOOD at his really nice place. (: Gtchai rocks, he's so nice. (: Though his fridge doesn't agree with me. Haha.
Oh, I just found an extra reason to look forward to this tuesday and friday. The cellist ! :D So sue me, I've been starved of eye candy since forever okay. And both yl and tmx think so too. Yay ! (: Even though yl still prefers a certain policeman. Haha. Must remember to take photos even though it's highly likely he'll think us freaks. He looks younger than us too. Damn. Hurhur.
Am contemplating sang nila. I can't help being a commitment phobe ! Meow. I hope the following week will be GOOOOOOOD. It'd better be.
Faith, faith, must have faith. In God above all.
Sunday, February 25, 2007
♥ 12:57 AM
10 of us at mrs toh's place. Tmx, regina, siyi, hrk, ter, wl, cw, renny, jq and I. Tmx, regina and hrk won quite a bit at blackjack. Especially hrk, hurhur. (: Mrs toh's baby is adorable ! (: And her house is really very minimalistic. Heh. Wl is as retarded as ever and jq is in the same platoon as zx and kunlin. Followed yl to toa payoh for stationery and her dinner after that.
Amadeus tomorrow. I hope I remember to bring what I have to bring. And I hope I remember the songs too.
Ooh, I hear lizzie maguire on tv. Be right back.
Commercial break. My Name is Earl is quite funny. Something interesting that I learnt from the show. That you don't need a sign to start doing the right thing you've known all along. Hmmms. Quite apt. I have this thing with signs..
I dreamt I was shopping in australia and I saw the cutest furry boots. In another dream I had to abseil in a hotel because my luggage (or something) fell down a crevice. Hahaa. And everyone got pissed with me (the hotel staff and abseiling instructor person) because I took so damn long to wear my harness and all. I think in that same dream mr loh appeared and he was very er flirty ? Lols. With the friend I was with. Uber weird and un-him. Hahaha.
Back from lizzie maguire. I love disney channel ! Heh. Weekend is coming to a close. Work. SIIIIIGGHHHHH. ): I am a hundred and forty seven bucks poorer. Boohoo. It'd better be worth every cent. I've looped Seasons of Love 53 times, lols.
Thanks mucho Aloyy. Love ! (:
In other news, I got our poto tickets ! I hope the seats are good. Am watching the matinee on the 28th of april. Two months from now ! Heh, can't wait. I want to watch Dreamgirls. I like the song Beyonce sings.
Okay, till tomorrow..
Saturday, February 24, 2007
♥ 2:01 AM
COMPANY
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?
SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
COMPANY
It's time now to sing out,
tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Remember the love! Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Seasons of love! Seasons of love
525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love? Measure in love.
Seasons of love.
SOLOIST 1
525,600 minutes! 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?
SOLOIST 2
In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
COMPANY
It's time now to sing out,
tho the story never ends let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.
Remember the love!
Remember the love! Remember the love!
Measure in love.
Seasons of love! Seasons of love
:D Seasons of Love from Rent, the musical. I also downloaded La Vie Boheme and Light My Candle. (: Ahhhh I want to watch Rent !
Taye Diggs is quite hot. But I digress.
So the songs and my frantic checking for availability of poto tickets inspired me to wiki on some musicals. Chicago (hence Taye Diggs ! he was great as the bandleader. (: but also because he was one of the original Rent cast members.) was one of them. Rent is actually based on Puccini's La Boheme. Then I checked out Puccini's more famous opera, Madame Butterfly and found out that Miss Saigon is actually based on it ! Cool right ? Ahhhh, musicals !
Yeah but going to buy the tickets will be a big headache. Seeing as I can't have graces and qua with me because my mother is the one with the card and graces is in malaysia. Damn I have to really start memorising my scores. And I haven't practised the piano. So what else is new ?
Results soon. Frick.
Did you know '&' is known as an ampersand ? Ooh. So random and cool. (: And the combined form of '?' and '!' is known as an interrobang. We all learn something new everyday, heh.
You won't talk to me. You don't answer my messages. And for what reason I honestly do not know. This reminds me of a certain era last year where it suddenly became my fault. Over night. Literally. Thanks.
I don't know if it's better to be in a fuck off and go die mood or be in a I am so depressed we used to be friends mood. Ha-ha. Maybe this is just God's way of showing me thaaaaat...maybe you weren't that good a friend to begin with ? I don't know. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to glean from this but I've definitely learnt a few things.
Okay okay. It's my fault okay ? It's my fault for being a good friend.
Oh my, why does this sound so bloody familiar ? Ha-ha.
Friday, February 23, 2007
♥ 12:30 AM
I love us. (: And I love graces' phone ! Hurhur. Pity we couldn't include sally and kiki. ):
Tired. I feel like quitting. Maybe I shall. Soon. Have to find another job first. Hopefully qua can rope me in. Yes yes I hope she can. At least it's not as intimidating as the jc one. If I'm even going to get it at all. Sigh.
So we celebrated Qua's birthday at swensens today ! In our all time favourite hang out, as usual. Yayy, ice cream is looooove. (: Jema and I were sorely tempted to share another sundae. Qua had free ice cream ! (: Mich was embarassing. Lols. Our second weekly p10 dinner. Yayy ! Although expensive, it was fun just talking and having ice cream. (: Next week we're having emo night ! Hurhurhur. Before march 2nd. At a secret location. Hahah. And maybe a picnic ? We might have to print song lyrics, lols.
I dreamt I got married. It's funny because my gown was black but I almost lost it so I was trying on this vietnamese costume thingy. Lols. So random. And I didn't even take a good look to see if I got a hot doctor or anything, haha.
Hopefully I can get poto tickets this weekend. Next week will be eventful. Fantastic new find: Seasons of Love from Rent, the musical. Okay ! I want to watch the dvd ! Nice nice, I heard it in the shower and it's reeeally nice. I love musicals. If only I can be an extra in musicals.. Facebook is the new friendster heh.
The stalkers haven't played badminton, kboxed (not that I'm really keen now that I know it costs at least 15 buckeroos) and beached yet. Mehh. And what happened to our pten holiday hello ! But leave will be hard to take. My 11 days (approximately) worth of salary has been banked in, YAYY ! Hahaha. I've worked almost one and a half months. I think. Time flies. Not really having fun. But I've learnt that (due to short fuse and quick temper) I can't be a kindergarten teacher. I've also learnt that school life isn't all THAT bad. And most importantly, the importance of having good friends to keep one sane. (:
Thanks so much for the nougat graces ! It was real sweet of you. Nougat. Happiness ! Haha, the beginning of our 7th year of p10. Not officially since p10 was formed somewhere in sec2 ? Lols.
Some things are better left unsaid. Or written in a little notebook with mickey and his friends on the cover.
No one told us to mind the gap between reality and wishful thinking.
Thursday, February 22, 2007
♥ 12:26 AM
I really enjoyed my night. :D
Even though ruz couldn't meet us because she had to do OT. ): We were going crazy laughing at random memories and gossipping about lesbians and stuff. Lols. Typical. Fun fun fun. (: Just chilling and talking and sharing (okay cherr did the most sharing haha). We may be meeting on friday for shopping. I hope we do. We'll see how it goes. Yayy stalkers ! (although as always, only 4/7 of us)
Saturday with the class is on ! Wooots ! But response so far hasn't been encouraging. Especially for the girls. This is reminiscent of our class chalet last year. =/ Ah wells.
Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. (: Tired. I can't wait for ice cream. (: I hope all of us can make it. I'm glad I'm going back to doing admin tomorrow. =X Thanks ah hrk, I was shocked but only for a split second, haha. I hope there are tickets left. =/
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
♥ 10:43 PM
Tired tired tired.
Yt, mark, yl and frankie came over this morning. It's quite interesting seeing the effect of really spicy chilli on frankie hurhur. Then frankie, yl and I went to yt's house. Played a few thousand rounds of bridge and hearts. Went to amk central to meet mark, jasper, daniel, christopher and two of mark's friends. Then we made our way to lido and caught Notes on A Scandal. GOOD SHOW ! :D Thanks muchly to markmark for the treat. :D
Work tomorrow. Sigh. Thank goodness for the mini stalkers gathering to look forward to. And thursday as well. Meow.
Tired tired tired.
This suspension between anger and sadness. This state. Makes me tired.
♥ 12:42 AM
Alexi Murdoch's Orange Sky from The OC: Mix 1. (:
So I had sooks and serene over today. (: They couldn't stay long but they were fed popiah and sooks was so amused because it was her first DIY one. Hurhur, it was nice and dandy even though they had to rush off. I'm really going to miss sooks. But fret not ! The power of msn and her macbook, lols.
Visited this grand uncle's house on my mother's side. Imagine reeeally cramped 3 room flat with 50 people ? And my mother's voice above everyone elses everytime she lost at cards. -____- UU I played quite a cool game called rummikub. Or something. I saw this really cute guy ! He turns five tomorrow. Heh. And unfortunately, he happens to have the same name as this really idiotic person. Oh, they had nice shark's fin soup ! (: Much better than lao beijing haha. Home made is always best. I hope we have steamboat at my grandma's next year.
Am not making progress with new book. The Insult. I just realised the Ha Jin book I borrowed is a collection of short stories. Darn. Oh wells.
You say that we've got nothing in common
No common ground to start from
And we're falling apart
You'll say the world has come between us
Our lives have come between us
But I know you just dont care
And I said "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"
She said, "I think I remember the film,
And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it."
And I said, "Well, thats the one thing we've got."
I see you - the only one who knew me,
And now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong
So what now? It's plain to see we're over,
And I hate when things are over
When so much is left undone.
A really nice hit from the 90s that I keep hearing on class 95. Deep Blue Something's Breakfast At Tiffany's. Oh, I feel sad. I finished the last disc of scrubs. And I realised that I watched the whole season on channel 5 already. Damn. I WANT SEASONS 1, 2 AND 5 ! Oh something really cool I learnt from Astonishing Splashes of Colour. Synesthesia. Pharell Williams (music → color) is one ! How cool is that ?
You know something odd ? I'm especially slow when it comes to differentiating left from right. (is differentiating the correct word ? lols) I always have to say it mentally 'left right' when I give people directions. I don't know why though. And I'm paranoid about mosquitos breeding so I make sure I throw unfinished drinking water in the sink before I sleep. And I don't like it when paper is wasted or pens are left uncapped. I'm weird that way. Hahah.
High School Musical's We're All In This Together. Oh, the irony.
Were I unconcerned with the sudden departure, demise of things, I wouldn't brood over it so much. Haha, okay I think I'm confusing myself.
Db has been MIA for really long due to her packing/moving and all. I want to visit ! The gym, pool and tennis courts ! Hurhur. I haven't played squash yet ! I should ask zx/aloy one day..
Tragic Kingdom. Gwen Stefani's Don't Speak is surprisingly apt.
Monday, February 19, 2007
♥ 1:08 AM
Busy week ahead. Sooks and serene coming over tomorrow/today. Some of yl's gang coming over on tues and then we're all going to yt's and mark's. Weds (working hours: 8.30-5.30) is another stalkers gathering to visit slin (I really hope ruz, cherr and jlow show up !). Thurs hasn't been confirmed or even discussed yet but it's important ! Heh, qua's birthday. :D We need to get our poto tickets ! Nothing's on friday which is good I need to rest, lols. And I need to ask ocm for a confirmation. =/ Sat's class gathering was cancelled but am asking the dafc president whether we should let it carry on. Amadeus on sunday. Amadeus next tuesday. Concert next friday. HAVE TO MEMORISE SCORES OR DIE. Very very probable that results will be out next friday also. (p10 ! we should meet thurs night to pray or something ! lols) Gahhhh. What if they suck ? I don't think I'll be in a very buxtehude-ish mood. ): The week after that is the choir camp already. How time flies. Before we know it, 25% of 2007 will be gone. Damn, there shouldn't be time for regrets.
To quote a dear friend who I can relate to (though this may not necessarily be on the same issue),
After all the emotional destruction, I doubt there's anything left to salvage.
I try to get away but somehow one foot remains firmly planted. It is almost like an unexplainable bog. Swirling quicksoil. The harder you struggle to stay above it all, the more you feel your entire being sinking, sinking. Everything is just so tiring. It's difficult not to be consumed. It's not like you don't want to save yourself.
Interestingly, there are a few in similar predicaments. Somewhat.
Slayer says:
i mean you called him cute, and then hot
Slayer says:
and then gay!
Goodness, I was such a freak back then. Ahahaha. But it's okay. Lols, those were the days of the polar and the penguin.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
♥ 3:13 AM
Why does everyone think so ? Am I missing something here ?
Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.
Do not have a ten course reunion dinner at lao beijing unless you have a penchant for overpriced, different chinese fare.
Had nice phone conversation with zx. HE'S FUNNY ! Ahahaha, goodness. :D Hopefully I can catch up with him the week after his field camp or something.
Love you jema (:
Am down to last disk of scrubs. SAD FACE. Finished Astonishing Splashes of Colour. It's really good and the twist in the plot is cool, hurhur. I wonder when sooks is leaving. Mark wants to form a glam rock band ??? Lols.
IE is being screwy. I want to go to australia. I am using ahloy's christmas present, heh. I need a nice beeg angbao haul, haha. Stuffing face with new year goodies is unhealthy. Imminent fatness. How are we celebrating qua's birthday !! Am still broke. Ooh, paycheck for last month will be in on tuesday. Goody.
0321hrs, I should really be asleep. Thanks but no thanks.
Friday, February 16, 2007
♥ 10:51 PM
Just different frequencies I guess. Shrugs. It's just not the same.
Didn't go back to the jc, we all overslept. Met at toa payoh, walked around and shopped a bit, markmark came, yl left for awhile, I was the third wheel, walked around far east, was really bored and poor (still am), didn't replace ezlink, got an adult card instead, stoned for a long time at the macs outside lido waiting for yl, had a pepper dinner, and more or less stoned home.
Was in a very stony mood. Still am. Going to watch some scrubs to feel happier later haha.
Most of the time I feel totally blahh because I have totally gorgeous, funny, smart and talented frends and I am such a nothing. Two future doctors, one vet, one lawyer, one psychologist and one actuarer (or whatever you call a person who studies actuary.. ahaha grace ah).. I don't know about sally though.. Still, I love how we're all different and yet on the same wavelength. (:
From scrubs,
the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly.
Shared history. But so what ? Oh wait. Right. You're not even going to respond.
♥ 3:08 AM
0309 hours. Heart shaped bahloon smiling at me. (:
Honestly, I can't be a kindergarten teacher. I have a tolerance level the lifespan of those weird bugs that die a few hours after they're born ? Weird analogy, I know.
Like I told charlene, I always try to reason with the kids but they're too young to really get it and it's hard to control them. Shrugs. And I hate that they don't get sarcasm either. =X
I actually changed my hours today (8 to 5 instead of 9 to 6) so that I could visit choir. I woke up at 745 today ? =/ Yeah, so the cab ride cost me 12 bucks. SIGH. In the end, I didn't even turn up for choir. None of the gang people could/would turn up (surprise surprise, not even dj lols) and and, two of my favourite people (nessa and ahloy) weren't there. Ah wells. Ended up walking around the new amk hub. I bought my wheel shaped snacks ! They're so addictive, it's throat/voice suicide. I was so happy with my purchase, hurhur. I tell you, I officially hate COAX, this clothing store. I AM JUST TEMPTED TO TRY EVERYTHING RAHHHH ! SO NOT HEALTHY ! ): I saw nice mondo shoes too. I wish there was a harbour town in singapore. Like the one in brisbane. It's this place with all the factory outlets. Heavenly. (: Alamak, I miss australia. It's been what, 3/4 years since I was there ? The weather, the people, the scenery. I think I just want a change of scene. Something less.. southeast asian. Ahaha. And crowded/cluttered. We lack the wide open spaces here. (even though I live in an ulu part with lots of empty fields..)
I met selene and chihong on the bus. I actually had quite a nice, funny conversation with them. (:
I've watched, like 4 episodes of season 4 already. AHHH. Too fast. Need to savour them all whilst snacking on wheel snacks. Ahaha. I can't wait for reunion dinner with my family, grandma and aunts on sunday. It's been a while since I've had high end (read non-budget, ie. food court, fast food) fare. Going to lao beijing trala.
I just found out after my scare on weds (from losing my ezlink and then finding it again THANKS QUA AND XUNNY !), that my card can't work anymore. Wth, it must've been run over by a car. Db said it'd probably cost twenty bucks. Great. An expense I can live without dammit. Ah sigh..
Ruz is nuts, seriously. Hurhur. We're going to make lists when we meet slin ! Which means I'm going to miss the next p10 dinner. ): 'Cos I made plans with her not yet knowing about the weekly weds dinner.
To paraphrase one of the concluding statements that J.D makes on scrubs,
ultimately, conflicts are resolved when you remember why you were friends in the first place.
It's not an ENTIRELY new perspective but it's an insight I guess. Muses.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
♥ 12:49 AM
P10/8, I love you. (: The best girlfriends one can ask for.
Happy vday all !
We're all nice bitches and we're bringing sexyback :D
Courtesy of Mich and her breath. :D Thanks love. I drew the smiley myself, it reminds me of a series of unfortunate events.Too tired to update. Today was crazy. Thank God. (: At the centre too. Till tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
♥ 12:21 AM
Some say love it is a river
That drowns the tender reed
Some say love it is a razer
That leaves your soul to blead
Some say love it is a hunger
an endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
and you it's only seed
It's the heart afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking
That never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying
That never learns to live
When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
Far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose
I love this song. It's one of the more meaningful songs we sang in Cedar. And I love the lyrics. (: (I think it's been over-used the past week but it's so lovely) To our dear KIKI. :D I'm glad to hear that she's well despite the teeny dorm, hurhur.
It's just goodnight and not goodbye. (:
I'm probably meeting graces, mich and maybe xunny. Poor qua has angry parents and jema and sally have dates, hurhur. Pity we can't have our stalkers power singles outing ahahah. Hope slin's foot heals fast ! I think we should visit her, hurhur. Those up for it say aye ! I think we have to cancel our 33 cny gathering. ): Not so good timing ayes. ):
I got my SCRUBS SEASON 4 ! It's taking me everything to not watch all 25 episodes back to back. Hahah, am saving that for friday maybe but I should be meeting some of avesix to go back and witness the school's (ever dismal) cny celebrations. We'll see how it goes.
Vday just isn't the same when it ain't in Cedar. It's one of the fabulous perks of being in a all girls school. The little gifts and messages on your desk in the morning. Running around the corridor, taking nonsensical photos, the drooping gerberas/roses residing temporarily in our water bottles, the numerous ferrero rochers lols. Somehow it just isn't the same in jc. I don't know, I guess I didn't feel the love ? Lols. Ah wells. At least I get to spend it with people I love tomorrow/today. Oh and it's too commercialised. PBBFFT. (so sue me, the die hard fan of everything communist =X kidding !) Not that I believe in buying gifts. I prefer made to store bought. Making lipgloss last year was a bit of a failure though 'cos it was mushed. =/
Was just thinking about what qua, xunny and I were discussing on the way home in the bus on sunday. We were talking about the awkwardness I think, lols. (or was that on thursday ?) I just feel that for any relationship/friendship/mothership haha, it should be two way. If you care enough about your friends, even if they may not ask you out and stuff, take the effort still to ask them. I don't think you should just expect always and not be proactive yourself. Ahh.. but that's just my take on friends. I'm glad that I know people who still bother and take the effort to keep in touch and ask to meet up. (: Thank you. (:
I feel like a failure. Not enough time for mansfield park so I returned it. ): Am going continue with Astonishing Splashes of Colour and retire to bed. Work. Mehh. Think of the moolah and possible trips overseas. Haha. Oh and phantom, the nice bag, my bling.. I think there are other things on my shopping list, lols. Oh wells. Have to memorise the buxtehude pieces too. Hope that tmx comes for the next practice, lols. I suddenly feel that the background of the layout is too floral for me mmms.
This is it I guess. That's it.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
♥ 12:42 AM
Two things to jump around happily for.
1. No work on friday ! The teachers are having a course so I get to slack around at home. Beaaams. (: Unless people are free to go out, I'll probably be slacking around at home watching....
2. SCRUBS SEASON 4 !!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH ! Thanks so much aunty imm :D Glee.
Was really tired, didn't get to meet the tallies today. ): Throat not that much better. I youtubed some cool stuff. Okay cool to me at least. Rufus Wainwright's Poses and Across the Universe (which is actually a cover of the Beatles' version !) and a funny The Office clip. Hehe.
The more I think about it, the more I feel it isn't worth it. Of course, I swing between the two extreme sentiments. But hmms wells, we'll have to wait and see a bit I guess.
Monday, February 12, 2007
♥ 12:14 AM
Really tired. Work tomorrow, pulls a long face. Amadeus today was so-so for me. Strings were incomplete. Everything is quite.. sleep inducing. =X
This is random but I guess I don't think I'll say never to a friendship. People I never really got along with or fell out with. I don't think I expect an apology and I'm not going to reject them if they make the effort.
Rushed off before gtchai could wrap up to meet the rest to send kiki off. We were really being lame and crapping around doing gangsta/lian stuff and shuffling, circling. (mich highlighted her hair purple ! I LIKE !) Yeah.. Then when she REALLY had to leave, things got sad. ): I LOVE YOU KIKI ! Xunny and qua cried, mich and I teared a bit. ): I guess it hasn't sunk in yet. But it was all too quick and sad and ayes. ): It's really sad and I don't want to see my darlings leave one by one. It's very probable that I'll be the only one left studying here. ): Yeah, it hasn't sunk in.. It was what kiki's mum said that really got me started. About how girlfriends are really the best and how she'll go home to an empty house and how she has to let her children go and how kiki really adored her friends. ): ): ): That's reality. It just made me really realise how truly blessed I am to have such wonderful friends. We have rings man (only after like, 4 years did it actualise ? lols), I'm PROUD to say that I'm married to my girlfriends. :D But yeah, it's just comforting. It's knowing that there's this state of mind I can sink into when I meet up with them.It's honest, it's fun fun funny, it's concern, it's love. (: I never knew how much they'd mean to me.
So I thank God and I pray that our bonds remain strong and maybe grow even stronger. (: Friendships that give life and mundanity meaning. This is probably God's reason for my move to punggol. We all live along nel (apart from graces, ahaha) so somehow it's helped us stay connected physically ? Lols. Yeah, especially going home with dearest qua and xunny. We were talking about plans to make the most of our time together. Weekly dinners, a trip to the hairdresser's (to get highlights after we were inspired by mich !), a gathering (hi-tea/tea party/cny party lols) at kiki's house to keep her lovely mum company and maybe a trip overseas to get away. Yeaaah, I hope they materialise. I love my girlfriends. pten. (:
***
>belle night with the eyes of a horse that trembles in the night
like don't want to talk.. not his usual self
JuMiKnIgHt --- [son of victoria] [with my rifle and my buddy and me]
omg
JuMiKnIgHt --- [son of victoria] [with my rifle and my buddy and me]
possessed
LOLS ! Sudden obsession with pontaniaks. Was talking to zx in the afternoon. HE'S CRAZY ! Goodness, hilarious man. The pontianak research thing. Ahahahah. And kunlin is his buddy. I'm glad to hear he's fine and still the same, lols.
I just heard exciting news from dear ruz, miss ntuc. Ahaha. Miss her man.. NEED TO MEET AGAIN, HELLO STALKERS ! I'll be seeing the tallies at chompchomp tomorrow but hema isn't free and shiying didn't reply. ):
Anyways, am having a throbbing headache thing. Too tired to go on so see you..
Sunday, February 11, 2007
♥ 1:23 AM
My aunt bought me a blouse from pull & bear ! (: It's nice yayy. Was in a crappy emo mood and especially cranky when my piano teacher showed up suddenly. I thought she was going to come on sunday. Ah wells. I hate 6th apart minors. HMPH. My hands cannot coordinate, seriously. I'm not a pianist, I'm a failure. Bah.
Anyways, yes. As I was saying, was in crappy mood. But I was cheered up by the mass convo with graces and jema. (: We're part of the nici fan club and we're going to have a tea party ! Right. Lolsss. So lame lah but so fun. Yayyy. And db also. Thanks my dear. I'm thankful for friends like them. (: Ahhh, and I think I've been dreaming all this while ? Aha, that's why jema's going to australia ! Ooooh lala ! Mixed feelings, hurhur.
Sad day ahead. Also because I have no voice to sing. ): Must remember ring and camera and mp3 player. Oh and probably lots of tissue. ):
sin, salvation, thankfulness, obedience
Four items to constantly bear in mind.
Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone, you are the one who gets burnt.
Interestingly true quote from a good friend's blog.
I remember sooks telling me the other day that when she has problems and issues, she needs to talk to people about it. It doesn't really matter who. She just needs to talk, and tell people and get it out of her system. I was telling her that I'm slightly different. I feel that some things, some secrets (or whatever) are personal and in a sense, 'part of me'. A leech on my present being. So I'm very careful with the people I share my thoughts with because it seems to me like I'm giving parts of me away. And these people should earn it. That's why I regret sharing with _____. It's not that I expect anything back in return. I guess I didn't really get the listening ear I hoped for. It was a risk and not for my entertainment. Yeah. Maybe the whole 'you must earn it' thing comes from the fear of exposing our achilles heel. I mean, you're exhibiting vulnerability, something people can use against you or manipulate to some freak ass advantage.
I don't know. My disclaimer always warns of my weird persona, psycho bitch moments and perpetual paranoia.
Think bold.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
♥ 12:42 AM
KIKILICIOUS @ BALL-YWOOD !
KIKI ! The star ! Our beloved (who surprised us before we could surprise her, lols) (:
The best supporting actor/actress. MEOWLY. (: (I think the flash scared him/her =X)
Salleh Sally Sahlay. Sharleen Siow. (: it was hilarious when she screamed and shut the door in meowly's face. the poor kitty..
One of our lovely prizes, hehe. We also had one that said, 'I know you liiiiike me, you think I'm sexy.' AHAH !
Miiiich ! Little miss random chocobun who is an excellent stall-er just that it was botched in the end, haha.
With fellow retards, Xunny and Jema. (:
With almost all of us except navleen's gang. Kikilicious ! (: Notice the 6 sane people and the 5 nonsensical people. Hurhur.
pten. We love to sing. (: Incomplete, but more than perfect. Hahaha.***
Too tired. VERY VERY BROKE. Couldn't stay over. ): No profit, lols. It was worth it. (: I love the giiiiirls. Yay for the planning committee ! Decorations, catering, presents, video, games, song dedication. (:
Kikiiiiiiii ! :D :D Much love !
A proper farewell post tomorrow. ):
A proper farewell post tomorrow. ):
Am actually losing my voice. ): Amadeus howww. Bad cough and throat, sucks. Rah. Very broke too. Remind me to record the rose on sunday. Praise God for the enjoyable time today. (:
Friday, February 09, 2007
♥ 12:46 AM
cigarettes and chocolate milk
these are just a couple of my cravings
everything it seems i like's a little bit stronger
a little bit thicker, a little bit harmful for me
if i should buy jellybeans
have to eat them all in just one sitting
everything it seems i like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter, a little bit harmful for me
and then there's those other thing
which for several reasons we won't mention
everything about them is a little bit stanger, a little bit harder
a little bit deadly
it isn't very smart
tends to make one part
so brokenhearted
sitting here remembering me
always been a shoe made for the city
go ahead accuse me of just singing about places
or scrappy boy's faces have general run out of town
playing with prodigal sons
takes a lot of sentimental valiums
can't expect the world to be your raggedy andy
while running on empty, you little old doll with a frown
you got to keep in the game
retaining mystique while facing forward
i suggest a reading of a lesson in tightropes
or surfing your high hopes of adios kansas
it isn't very smart
tends to make one part
so brokenhearted
still there's not a show on my back
holes or a friendly intervention
i'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit irish
a little bit tower of pisa
whenever i see ya
so please be kind if i'm a mess
cigarettes and chocolate milk
***
Rufus Wainwright's Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk. I like the song. It's simple and quirky. Bad ass goodness. Subtlety, I like. (:
Today was fun fun. Haha, we shall see how it goes ayes. Wish us luck ! It's in God's hands. (:
Honestly, I'm confused. Belle and belle. Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde. I think the japanese guy in Heroes is so funny-adorable. Haha. I love Steve Carell from The Office ! Hahaha. So fast, so fast. The kids I took today were terrors. Ah wells. I know what I WON'T be doing in future, lols.
Resolution. Nyahhh, we'll see.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
♥ 12:21 PM
This is all very weird. And odd. Furrows brow. Don't think that I don't know why it's weird. HA-HA. Am actually blogging from the computer room. =X Tonight should be interesting. Okay, I am going to go for lunch soon. I just feel like quitting and spending the rest of my time sleeping and going out. =/ Dammit, I hate hp printers. I have to feed the papers individually in the office one and my home one's very screwed up. Oh wells. Ah, I just learnt how to play freecell ! Yay. Okay, backgammon is next but it's the internet version, hmmms. I'm sticking to games already offered by the computer despite offers from hrk to send me his combat games (thanks dude :D). I have to learn mahjong and how to play 5 cards in taidee next, lols. I can never remember the different levels and types. I think jema should re-teach us bob the builder, haha. It's sad but I think I shall have to put down mansfield park and start on my other books instead. I don't like having to keep picking up where I leave off since I don't have much time to read now. It's especially tiresome because it's classics are hard to concentrate on, with the difficult words and odd sentence structure and the five thousand different characters. =/ Ah wells. See you later..
♥ 12:04 AM
The greatest regret ever till now would be not appreciating my grandfather enough. I don't even know where to begin but I loved him so. Just thinking about it is enough to bring tears. But I am rejoicing in the knowledge that the Lord is keeping him safe and one day we'll all be together in paradise. (:
***
Work makes me tired. I need to take a class tomorrow. But at least the 4 year olds are better than the 3 year olds. A little. My aunt has decided to sponsor half my poto ticket ! I LOVE HER ! Yayyyyy. (: I like it when people take the initiative to strike up a conversation on msn. Hey hrk, yo ! (: Ahh, the next few days will be very interesting indeed. Am tired, it's past my bedtime. And I don't have the money. HOWWW. ): Ah wells, we'll see how it goes. Nights.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
♥ 10:31 PM
Before I forget, I'd like to mention that I not only dreamed that we were getting back our results and pang lao shi (mrs quek, sec2 chinese teacher who asked us to look at dirt, like wth lols) was the one doing the announcing; but I also dreamed that yl and hq were siblings which is why they can't like each other. Lols ! Nonsensical right ? Oh and I also had one where I had to save someone on horseback, which was kinda cool. I have the oddest dreams. Probably to make up for my so-called life. Haha.
I borrowed Mansfield Park, The Insult by Rupert Thomson, Ha Jin's Ocean of Words and Claire Morrall's Astonishing Splashes of Colour. :D I only hope I can finish them all before the 27th of this month. Especially the Austen one. It's a classic after all ! I'm already lost and it's only the 3rd page ? Haha.
I'm VERY VERY VERY broke. Deficit already. But does anyone want to go for the IJ funfair ? Lols. Yayy for people like db, aloy and p8. People I can just talk to. To be preoccupied with, somewhat. Db, you haven't sent me the brad pitt photo ! Ahaha. Meow. I should ask ahhuay for the address of the craft shop in chinatown ? Heh. M O O L A H BABY ! Avesix is now defunct. Lols.
Okay I can't wait for weekends. Oh but I can't wait for thursday and friday as well. (:
Monday, February 05, 2007
♥ 11:52 PM
I love sooks. (:
My dear sister in law. We chilled a little at coffee bean, had dinner at the TM foodcourt and had a paranoid adventure at temasek poly. Lols. She was avoiding people and we ended up locked in one of the sewing rooms. And all I asked for was a tour, haha.
But yeah, I guess talking helps. Thanks so much dearie. (: I also got to meet her friend chris again, the current (fling ? haha), hanshen, and glance at the PBFH aka his ex. =X Meaning psycho bitch from hell. Interesting, poly life. We have to meet again before you leave ! (:
I am quite looking forward to practising with the instruments on sunday. It's a pity frankie and tmx aren't enthusiastic at all.
***
What a scene
what a drama just to find the door
that was mean
that was totally uncalled for
have you reached the point where you must choose
between what you lost and what you stand to lose
isn't it high time?
Could it be
that the future's going to turn out great?
well, we'll see
meantime somebody lays in wait
'til you reach the point where you must choose
between what you've lost and what you stand to lose
so come up with a new line
'cause baby it's high time
What a shame
I know nothing's ever been this tough
out of blame
and out of all of that other stuff
but when you're alone with what you've left
and you've done bereaved and
been bereft enough
you have reached the point where
you must choose between what you've lost
and what you stand to lose
isn't it high time
baby it's high time
***
Work again tomorrow. Insert sad face. Am in a very emo wtf mood. I feel like going back to choir. ): I don't want to talk or think about it but it's not as if I can help it. I just want to sleep.
On one hand, I want to just shout wtf and scream at everyone to leave me alone. (though an interesting point to note is that it's not that people are NOT leaving me alone as it is. confusing ayes ? haha) On the other hand, I just want people to allow me to indulge and mollycoddle me.
Damn. I won't even have savings left from my first paycheck. Poto, my bling, a new bag, the money I owe my parents, the phone bill. Potential trips abroad. Maybe I should visit sooks in china but I doubt I'd have the time if I'm working. We'll see how it goes.
I pray about it practically at the start of every meal. And what do you do ?
Short laugh. Emo rut will probably last a long time.
♥ 12:13 AM
Well, that was the straw that broke the camel's back.
The parallels are all too clear. And once again, they make me speechless. I'm better than this, I know I am. Is it too much to ask for ? I dare you to list out what you've done that justifies all of this. Wow. So that's what friends are for right ? Ha-ha. How.. stupid of me. To allow things to persist. To harbour sentiments and allow them to fester. To be just so dumb. I just had to learn the hard way I guess. Truly unworthy.
We almost went to gtchai's house for tea and soccer, haha. But frankie, yl and I went to yt's house instead to catch the project superstar and asean cup finals. We kept trying to scare yl. She's afraid of cats and yt has a black one called midnight. But anyway, both finals were just zzz. Yay for Amri and the Lions though. (: Brings back memories of WCG. The tears and proudly waving the flags and all. Ayes. So much has happened since then. It's been a real rollercoaster ride, the past two years.
The highlight of the day however was when we had to sing quartet and after much hesitation, I decided to sing surge (my favourite movement, though not the easiest). And gtchai said,
'Alto, good.'
AHAHAHAHHAHAH. BEAMS ! I'm not (as yl and frankie put it) 'haolian-ing' okay ! It's not often that I'm thick skinned or even praised for that matter. So YAYY, my talent has been recognised ! =X (what nonsense, lols) I am always vastly underrated anyway, hurhur.
Apart from that moment (and just chilling/stoning with some of the avesix people), the whole day fvcking sucked. (oh, but I called wl when I was at the pasir ris interchange.. he's funny ah lols) There's no need to elaborate.
Does anyone want to catch phantom with me ! Rawrr ! Have to get tickets before they are sold out. Work tomorrow. Dismal. But I need the moolah. I think we really should go to pattaya. Pity that's such a long time away. I want to get away.
Sunday, February 04, 2007
♥ 12:52 PM
I don't like getting the queen of spades. And I've named all the players haha, hehe, hoho and hurhur. But I shut the window immediately when I get the queen of spades. I just closed it because hurhur shot the moon or whatever shit and I got twenty six points. Dammit.
I hate that limewire is being so uber screwy and I want new storybooks, am feeling restless. I need new software to download songs. I need a life. Preferably with spending money included. Just like retail theraphy has a price.
I am uncomfortable with misspelt/misspelled words though I do not profess to possess above mediocre spelling abilities.
I feel like running away to somewhere foreign. To lose myself in the unexpected and the great unknown. Maybe I need to travel to outer space. To feel more than just physical weightlessness. So that gravity can't even act upon me and I will be detached in every sense of the word.
'Ever since that day, Sumire's private name for Miu was Sputnik Sweetheart. Sumire loved the sound of it. It made her think of Laika, the dog. The man-made satellite streaking soundlessly across the blackness of outer space. The dark, lustrous eyes of the dog gazing out of the tiny window. In the infinite loneliness of space, what could the dog possibly be looking at ?'
-Sputnik Sweetheart, Haruki Murakami
I find that so beautiful and yet completely heart aching.
I need to get away from everything comfortable and familiar. Maybe I should go backpacking in australia. South america. China. Anywhere. Maybe I need to find myself. To learn how to find solace in true solitude. I don't know. I just know that it's time to stop running away. Stop walking away even.
♥ 12:02 AM
I don't know if I'm overly suspicious, overly wary, untrusting. I just don't know why I get this notion that people are somewhat afraid to tell me the truth. Maybe they don't want to let me down. Maybe they're afraid I'll bitch and hold it against them. Maybe they think I can't take it. Maybe they're right in all of the above cases. But please. Let me down gently. Just lay it on me. Say it. Subtly, candidly, whatever. Bring it on.
Just don't wait till I figure out that my trust was misplaced all along.
I don't like having assumptions. I need to be sure. I've learnt my lesson.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
♥ 10:07 PM
Even though tmx couldn't make it in the end and the turnout was pretty sad (6/20), it was a pretty good day. Renny, hrk, ahhuay, regina, adel and I. Ahpa met us later. We played maybe n00bish games of beach volleyball with our own court drawn in the sand and without a net. Ahahaha.. Ahhuay was the only pro one. Yup then we just sat around and talked and played some more. Haha, it was so nonsensical. My left wrist has a tiny bruise. And my shoulders are sunburnt, owch. ):
Then we headed to PS (minus huayy who had church) where we bummed around macs, saw joakim gomex (and this cute random guy in a striped shirt), met ahpa and went to the arcade. I think hrk and I were exhibiting arcade withdrawal symptoms, haha. So we had two rounds of daytona and hrk played a round of his fighting game. Hurhur. Good enough for me. (:
We caught up over a bk dinner. Yay for adel's coupons ! Then ahpa left after a lot of his nonsense with renny and regina (his tag team with hrk, marvelous =X). Adel, regina and I had to drag poor hrk around this fashion because we wanted to look at clothes. Lols. But we weren't really in the mood so we left after that because we were just too tired from the beach and my burn was making me really itchy.
Anyhow, it was quite fun nonetheless. (: (: Again ! But not the beach. We should go to Bliss or something and chill. Oh and badminton ! Hurhur. Hopefully we'll have better attendance.
I look quite nice here. =X Not too burnt. Yayy ! Us girls. (:
My SUPER BENG AHPA ! Ahhhh, I miss his nonsense !! Lols, we have to meet up again. C'mon man, the pure milk shirt and the crappy hair ? Trademarks of a bengster. HAHA. But I still cough am concerned cough for this dude. Ahaha, :D
Am/was talking to some of the most entertaining people on msn. Xiaokai, botak wee and ahloyy. Hurhur.
re BEL it ends tonight says:
go army then forget your friends
re BEL it ends tonight says:
tamade ahahha
[c=29]botak wee[/c] says:
ya loh
[c=29]botak wee[/c] says:
who r u huh?
C'mon man, he's just hilarious. I miss seeing him together with ahpa and hrk in action. The sickos. Adel forgot what they were called and called them the suckers, wahaha.
I just watched a short episode of tom and jerry. When they were at the beach. Oh man, it brings back really fond memories of my childhood. I used to watch them when I was what, around 6 ? Tape after tape of tom and jerry. Ahhh, I miss the simplicity. There wasn't even dialogue. I love love love it. (:
The Office and Two and a Half Men are funny. I love steve carrell and charlie sheen. Hurhur. Lyrics from The Veronicas' When It All Falls Apart.
I'm having the day from hell,
It was all going so well (before you came)
And you told me you needed space,
With a kiss on the side my face (not again)
And not to mention (the tears I shed)
But I should have kicked your (ass instead)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream
Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can’t turn to you when it all falls apart
No
Don't know where I parked my car
Don't know who my real friends are (anymore)
I put my faith in you
What a stupid thing to do (when it rains it pours)
And not to mention (I drank too much)
I'm feeling hung over (and out of touch)
I need intervention
Attention to stop temptation to scream
Cause baby
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can’t turn to you when it all falls apart
No
Can it be easier?
Can I just change my life?
Cause it just seems to go bad everytime
Will I be mending?
another one ending once again
Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
Cuz I can’t turn to you when it all falls apart
No [x2]
I'm so tired. So tired, I don't want to work. I need to wean myself from it all. To detach myself. To attain nirvana, ahahah, ohm. Oh when I heard it, all I could think was, okay fine. That's it. And again I heard the It Ends Tonight when I was in the shower. Hahah. It's as crystal as clingwrap. I wouldn't need the words if it were so. Actions speak louder than 63 essays. Plan's not working. But just maybe I don't need a plan anymore. Damn.
Friday, February 02, 2007
♥ 11:37 PM
So I didn't go to work today because my throat's all screwed up. ): Am a really cranky kid when I don't feel too well. Ahh, am going to wait for ocm's confirmation. Pros: Better pay, shorter hours (I think =X), cheaper transport, familiarity. Cons: The guilt and the lack of experience. Ah wells, it's not confirmed yet anyway.
I really think we should have themed outings. Like, retro or erm flowery ? Ahahah. I hope I don't wake up late tomorrow. Just maybe I'm just wary of spontaneity ? Maybe I'm mellowing and growing to find comfort in concrete positives, in stability and order. The realistic idealist. I don't know. For how long can we suspend ourselves in the fluff and uncertainty of dreams ? How thin and fragile, those strings of hope.
On a completely random and sad note, the spatula saffie gave me for farewell has mould/fungus growing on it. ): ):
Pray, how do you spell february ? D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R. I don't want to think about it but qua mentioned it in her entry and it registered with a jolt. I mean, I know it's also the month of chinese new year and valentines day (pbbft, like that has any meaning.. right stalkers ? wahahah) but ahhhh I can't shake it off. Scary. ):
Was thinking as I listened to the All American Rejects' It Ends Tonight. Interesting. When you lose a friend and things just fade into silence and a void, how much of a loss are you making ? Maybe it's just a personal inkling towards encapsulating feelings and thoughts, the intangible, into physical quantities and amounts. How do you know ? Even weighing the what ifs, the possibilities cannot produce a forecast anywhere near accurate.
Ultimately, everybody is his own person. We all have our choices, our decisions, our reasons, our seasons. We change, we morph, we shapeshift. It's a spin cycle of thinking based on the context, and then doing, and then rethinking based on the new set of consequences.
I don't know what exactly I'm trying to get at either. I guess we all have our moments where we just can't help the random, cryptic mess of words.
I'm going to quote a dear friend of mine who shall remain anonymous.
'...and there r juz certain things in life tt we're meant to go thru...maybe sickness or goin down tt step in the success ladder...or maybe losin the pple we love in 1 way or another...or maybe havin frenships tt undergo tests all the time...all i can say is...havin gone thru to myself...u'll only grow to cherish it even more...bcos u noe the feelin of havin lost it...and u noe how uch it means to u...but u're vr tt fortunate to always get back wad u've lost...so treasure the pple ard u and nvr let them go...but den again...alot of times i wonder if me holdin on so tightly onto frenships and relationships is worth it...bcos all the time i juz feel like...i juz feel so tired sometimes...bcos there r so many tims tt i wanna let go of the frenship/relationship...but the me tt hangs on so tightly juz dun wanna let go...and i end up makin myself more frustrated and angry and upset and disppointed...for wad...'
I don't need to search for the honesty in her words. It's not something that's totally foreign to me. But I guess really aligning yourself and sticking closely to such a 'school of thought' is difficult. Oh hrmmms. We love, we try, we live, we die. C'est la vie. Only the Lord is forever. Lyrics from Ok Go's Get Over It.
Lot of knots, lot of snags,
lot of holes, lot of cracks lot of crags. Lot of naggin' old hags,
lot of fools, lot of fool scum bags.
Oh it's such a drag, what a chore... oh your wounds are full of salt.
Everything's a stress and what's more, well it's all somebody's fault.
Hey! Get over it!
Makes you sick, makes you ill,
makes you cheat, slipping change from the till.
Had it up to the gills... makes you cry while
the milk still spills. Ain't it just a bitch? What a pain...
Well it's all a crying shame. What
left to do but complain? Better find someone to blame.
Hey! Get over it!
Got a job, got a life, got a four-door and a faithless wife.
Got those nice copper pipes, got an ex, got a room for the night.
Aren't you such a catch?
What a prize! Got a body like a battle
axe... Love that perfect frown, honest eyes...
We ought to buy you a Cadillac.
Hey! Get over it!
I just need lots of mindless preoccupations. Okay maybe not mindless. Other challenges I suppose. Apart from surviving on 20 bucks a week, ahaha. I want to go white water rafting. Slowly slowly, here and gone.
Hope tomorrow's fun, hehe (:
♥ 12:36 AM
You know what I do nowadays ? Play microsoft hearts. Like how sad is that ? Lols. Missed an important gathering because I met cherr, slin and db ! Yayyy. Hahah we were going crazy. Getting lost along middle road, playing pool (slin and cherr are really pro), eating swensens and embarassing ourselves. Ahaha, the usual. It's nice that we get to catch up and stuff. Yayy, we should all go out again. AND WHERE IS RUZANNA SHAH ! Pbbfft.
Throat is really quite scratchy from the stupid smoke in the pool place. Dammit. Thanks for the little treat slin ! (: I realise we have had/are having many similar experiences. Hurhur. C'mon man, we need to go clubbing and hot guy shopping on friendster just like sooks suggested. Hahaha.
I need a confirmation from ocm. And even so (and I doubt so), I'll feel INCREDIBLY GUILTY. =/ And my throat. Ahhhhhh. ): ):