Sunday, August 27, 2006
♥ 11:18 AM
A huge
THANK YOU to
AuntyCharleneJosephine1000ZTanMingXia !!!
Colours of the rainbow ! (: I don't quite know what indigo is though hrms.
Mucho thank for helping me scan the ac compre. I owe you ! LOVE :D
Okay, was inspired by sooks song choices so I went to download music by Jem, Kings of Convenience and Oasis. And I quite like Lyla by Oasis, Misread by Kings of Convenience and They by Jem. :D I'm trying to deviate from the mainstream.
If you wanna be my friend
You want us to get along
Please do not expect me to
Wrap it up and keep it there
The observation I am doing could
Easily be understood
As cynical demeanour
But one of us misread
And what do you know
It happened again
A friend is not a means
You utilize to get somewhere
Somehow I didn't notice
friendship is an end
What do you know
It happened again
How come no-one told me
All throughout history
The loneliest people
Were the ones who always spoke the truth
The ones who made a difference
By withstanding the indifference
I guess it's up to me now
Should I take that risk or just smile?
What do you know
It happened again
What do you know
Misread by Kings of Convenience. My aunt flew off for melbourne and sydney to look for staff for her company. I hope she'll be alright. (: Listening to the Beach Boy's Kokomo. Haha. Am in a pensive mood..
For I am the Lord, your God,
who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear;
I will help you.
-Isaiah 41:13
Because I have hilarious juniors and because I was gleefully singing the postman pat theme for some odd reason during choir farewell. Oh, it was because xk's bag looks like a postman's sack. Hahaha. Weiwei is the cat ! Only the cat (named Jess) is at least 230897508948 cuter and cuddlier, haha.
♥ 1:53 AM
You know sometimes when you leave tea to settle for a long time, its very essence sinks to the bottom ? Then when you start to drink it you see different colours ?
Okay, I bet you don't.
Few people I know are tea drinkers. Coffee is just somehow more in, haha. I wanted to capture the colours and the mixing and all but I didn't think it would come out good. So instead of working on my history essay on decolonization, I looked at my tea.
and I search the
leaves to read your mind
wandering about the past behind
watching swirls dance
a curious dance
and I grasp with more than a passing
glance
the rolling, spreading shades
of tea
that tell not a soul
my fate with thee.
Nice eh ? Okay. Don't answer that. It's not exactly supposed to rhyme properly or make much sense. No need to critique the sentence structure either, haha.
I have mountains of work. Mountains, inselbergs, plateaus, yardangs, molehills, bukit timah hills and whatnot worth of work. It doesn't help that I have FIVE (yes count them, FIVE) history essays that I need to hand in. So yeah, okay back to nationalism. Screw prelims.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
♥ 1:14 AM
It's sad, so sad
It's a sad, sad situation
And it's getting more and more absurd
It's sad, so sad
Why can't we talk it over
Oh it seems to me
That sorry seems to be the hardest word
Heard the Blue version whilst bathing. I still prefer the Elton John version. (:
I know sorry doesn't cut it. Empty promises, words fished from air. I don't believe it in myself. To be vindictive, malicious.. I admit, I was tempted. I also know that it's all pride and should be beneath me.
But trust me, I really am.
Sorry.
Shame arises from fear of Man
Conscience, from fear of God.
♥ 12:33 AM
INSTRUCTIONS
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!
4. Tag 10 people to play this game too
5. Bold the questions and answers that swack (huh ? swack !?)
How are you feeling today?
Lindsay Lohan's Ultimate. Hahaha. Huh !? Erm. No. I was contented looking at the wide expanse of the sky but now I just feel blah looking at history.
Will you get far in life?
Kelly Clarkson's Where is Your Heart. Hrms. Interesting.. My heart ? Other people's hearts ? Not too sure actually. But nice song, lols.
How do your friends see you?
Mandy Moore's Only Hope. That I'm their only hope ?? HAHAHA. Riiiight. Or that all I do is hope ? Puzzling ah my shuffled results.
Will you get married?
Black Eyed Peas' Feel It. Ermmm. I guess so.. since I can feel it. Erm. Lolsss. Seems abit inappropriate haha.
Will you ever have children?
Favourite Things from the Sound of Music. HAHAHA. Makes it sound as if I'll have a soccer team. But I do like kiddies quite alot..
What is the story of your life?
Limp Bizkit's Rollin (uncensored). Hrms. What's that supposed to mean ? It's my sister's addition to itunes and FULL of expletives. Lols. I've been living a vulgar life so far ? I don't even know the lyrics and what the song is about. Hahaha.
What was high school like?
Lee Ryan's Army of Lovers. HAHAHAHAH. OMG. Funny ! Yes yes yes. Hahahaha. (: And I'm not just talking about my darlings in p10 and the stalkers and sooks and db..
How can you get ahead in life?
Fifth Dimension's Age of Aquarius & Let the Sun Shine In. Hahaha, I don't get the first part of the song. Am not even an aquarius. But the second part.. To be more shiny-happy and optimistic ? Lols..
What is the best thing about your friends?
Avril Lavigne's Happy Ending. Yeahhh. It's going to be a happy ending. (although the lyrics suggest otherwise, I'm going with the title..) I'm praying that it'll be one. (:
What is in store for this weekend?
Hoobastank's Disappear. YES. I need to study. BADLY. Grooooaans. ):
What song describes you?
Bethany Joy Lenz's Let Me Fall.
Let me feel
I don't care if I break down
Let me fall
Even if I hit the ground
And if I cry a little
die a little
At least I'll know I lived
Just a little
Hmmms. Destined to fall 5 times but stand up 6 ? Lols.
How is your life going?
Kelly Clarkson's The Trouble With Love. HAHAHAH.
Will you have a happy life?
Gwen Stefani's Rich Girl. OMG ! HAHAH ! How apt ! If anything, please let this one be true. =X
What do your friends really think of you?
Lenny Kravitz's Calling All Angels. I really do hope so. (:
Do people secretly lust after you?
The Incredibles theme. My sister's band music. Oooh, incredible people lust after me. HAHA. Right, thanks.
How can you make yourself happy?
Sun Yanzi's Wo Bu Nan Guo. Goodness. How interestingly fitting ! Haha. By forcing myself to move on ? Mmmms..
Credit to gpt, ahpek and fellow n00b ! (: Just hand me a pencil and the large canvas that is a block 11 table. Hahaha. Helped xinyi with cwo. Pretty xuefen recognised my voice in the toilet. =X Lols. Happy New Year ! HAHA. Typical cheap thrills. Unproductive (but still more productive than usual) studying session with db. Ahh. Our failed attempt at jogging. Looking at the clouds. Talking on the bus. Watching the poor kiddo nod off to sleep whilst standing up and watching the amused uncle who was watching the boy. (: Yeah, shortened timetable too. I wish everyday could be like today. Did I mention that I love my class girls ? Haha. J people and similar nonsense to help me tide through terrible tutorial times. (okay not really, just alliteration, haha.)
Quoting sally's nick, 'one cross + three nails = four-given' (:
Voxpop (I think this short form is quite cool eh) and some fm video, hoho. (:
0132hours. History beckons.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I'll be on a short hiatus. Very very short. Unfortunately. HAHA. I hope to extend it in the near future.
Monday, August 21, 2006
♥ 6:02 PM
That line ?
Yeahh. That seems to be today's soundtrack.
Scratch that.
I can't think of any song that reflects my wtf mood.
The slippers I got from australia were stolen.
Very very bad day.
With every word, my heart sank further.
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
Oh take me back to the start.
♥ 5:25 PM
Once, there was a great storm
Pushed my head beneath the waves
I was gone
Underneath the walnut tree
Where you said you'd wait for me
And I waited, a long long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
Why, why do I come here
Seeking out the memories
I hold dear
Cos you put your spell on me
Made me live in memory
And I'm frozen, in just the wrong time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
I waited a long, long time
Keane's Walnut Tree from The OC: Mix 2
Sunday, August 20, 2006
♥ 5:24 PM
(: (: (: plus chairman and desmond. HAHA.
I think my cousins are all so sweet, hoho. ((: And gpt is hilarious ! His escapades and all. All the way kiddo, haha ! Mans, I wish my j1 life was that exciting. Very very very unproductive weekend. Daaaaaanng. Bought heels and shorts. Okay, no one heard that. Mutters. I should stay at my grandma's house permanently. Hrms. I wish my timetable were more truncated. Rather, I wish I didn't have to go to school. HUMBUG.
Like how mich ng was looking for a website that farewell day, I want to buy a husband too. To find a rich rich rich rich (and hopefully handsome) man so I won't have to study no more. Hoho, that'd be great.
♥ 1:07 AM
Thanks to the link on saffie's blog. (: What's in my name. I think I shall bold those that I think apply and put those that I'm quite skeptical about in italics. Heh.
--
This is a quiet, refined, studious, serious and very responsible quality. Nothing gets past these people. They could be very intellectual if their sensitivity and lack of expression did not cause them to become too reclusive. They have a deep love of nature and a strong artistic leaning. Their love of learning and books give them a good grasp of life, but they fail to convince others of their ideas because of a restriction in their verbal expression. Writing is something that they need to develop to clarify and express their ideas, otherwise they can suffer a great deal of misunderstanding. They feel deeply about things and must create an outlet for this depth through music, art and writing, or they will begin to doubt their own abilities. Here is a quality that is so responsible and serious that if they are not careful they can worry to the point of distraction.
Life and its mystery holds a great fascination for them. They are naturally philosophical or religious, with a deep yearning for peace and tranquillity. Nothing moves them so much as the rising moon coming over the mountain or the sun setting into the sea. They are romantics that dream of a better day and a better life away from the confusion of the business world. These people perceive more than most, either through their emotional sensitivity or because of a developed intellect. This can make life a little difficult for them because they see the flaws in others and tend to become quite judgemental. It is difficult for them to be tolerant of others. They will either point out your faults or go into a mood of silence and refuse to communicate. Unconsciously this is their way of getting even with you. Of course this is their own undoing. If they can grow intellectually and move away from their moods and reclusive tendencies, these people can excel as writers and teachers of philosophy.
They have concentration and the ability to think deeply into any subject of interest to them. This is quality of the mind has a profound potential for insight, if it can distinguish between worry and creative thought. If they do not master worry, and lapse into a world of dreams and fantasy, they can become influenced through mysticism and unreality as an escape from the crass world of materiality. These people have imagination and a profound appreciation for flowers, art, music and good literature. They have usually read more books than most people (lols ! ooh, I really hope so..the newspapers don't count). They are very independent and must never work for others or they will be stifled. Small talk is beneath them. Their verbal expression is usually restricted to the deeper aspects of life. They are uncomfortable in crowds and usually have little to say unless the atmosphere is safe and friendly. At times fluid speech and the right word simply abandon them and they retreat into embarrassment and silence. Their weakness lies in excessive worry and susceptibility to heart, lung and bronchial problems with a shortness of breath.
--
Haha, on the whole, quite accurate at this point of time. I'm tired of not knowing how to do econs mcq. An average of 17/30 is not very heartening though I admit that I know zero about market structure and stuff like economic rent/transfer earnings which happen to keep recurring. Then again, I was quite clueless about the macro bits which I'm supposed to be better at. Sigh.
To quote darling senior corinna,
'you don't place expectations on people to cheer you up, so there's no risk of disappointment. i think one thing i've learn over the years is not to place expectations of humans. period. they always slip up, mess up, fuck up, and then you get angry and disappointed. no point.'
Exactly.
Zx and I were talking about attending church regularly. Though it has to wait till after the exams, bah. ): It's sad how I want to make it a priority every year but I eventually don't. ): Perhaps that's the biggest problem in my life. Even bigger than schoolwork. (ohh, and no one knows how ROYALLY SCREWED I am for the prelims.) This spiritual void. Ayes. ):
And because I like Grey's Anatomy and all that random philosophical (if you can call it that) stuff,
A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. Never leave that till tomorrow, he said, which you can do today. This is the man who discovered electricity. You think more people would listen to what he had to say. I don't know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I'd have to say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you're wrong? What if you're making a mistake you can't undo? The early bird catches the worm. A stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we hadn't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to seize the day. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore. Until we finally understand for ourselves what Benjamin Franklin really meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beat the hell out of never trying.
Mmmms. So true. There are just so many reasons why I don't want to be the queen of procrastination. (N.B. - royally screwed up ! what does n.b mean anyway ?) Sigh. Geography is calling. I forgot to bring back the acjc paper. Dammmmnn. Hopefully I manage to wake up before noon tomorrow. Hopefully.
remember me, once in awhile please.
promise me you'll try.
Saturday, August 19, 2006
♥ 1:40 AM
I like this picture. It's our last pose for karimata and it's my desktop wallpaper. (: Thanks to cw and the photog society for the more formal shots. (: I just uploaded voyaje and choir camp photos in ajchoir and ajchoir1. Yay for meirong who set up the accounts. (:
I like listening, I really do.
But I wish it'd be more than a monologue.
It's 0340hours and I'm trying to do my hci mcq paper. GRIMACE. Fat hope I'm going to be anywhere close to completion. I need need need to finish ASAE, all my econs mcqs and origins this weekend. Damn. And there's still the 4 essays. ): School is a waste. of. time. Travelling around. Meals. (somehow I'm not as hungry at home.. hrms) Feeling sleepy/distracted. Oh blah.Cedar choir is singing at the zhss thing tomorrow. Lols, it'll be so weird without chye ! Oh mans. I can't believe that it's been almost 2 years since I've left the choir. Ahhhs.
Weirdly enough, thanks to sgidol, I've been singing chain of fools and livin on a prayer. Heh. If only I had the knack for remembering lyrics. I really think the voters should keep the people with the good voices. Ah wells. See, I'm not that shallow ! Lols. Interestingly, there seems to be many cute but short guys. Hahaha.. I want to sing carols ! Maybe I should pop by choir. =/ I think pong's sweetbox thingy is quite hilarious and devious. Hehe, tsktsk radish ! I think I'll start a written journal. It's interesting because this is one of the blog adds that I've stuck the longest to. Having been blogging since.. sec 1 or 2. FOD then diaryland and blogspot. Frisky sheep, rebelle, russianblue, christiebellee, destinycalls-.. And now this. I can't remember any more at this point.. But yeah, I really like my address. (: Inspired by the eponymous song by Electrico. Mmmms..
(Time)
Well if you think that it might have to change(on your side)
Everyone, has the same opinion (wont you please)
Your time is almost over (don't be mean)
We won't get the chance to do this over (That's alright)
Right? - Right right right right (Right right right right)
I don't belong (I don't belong)
Okay. Everyone should download this song. It's really quite cool though am not too sure what it's supposed to be about. Modern Girls And Old Fashioned Men by The Strokes. Heh, funky title. 0444hrs and I'm done with the mcq. But there are TONS of questions I can't do. ): Ahh, but I shall comfort myself with the knowledge that (i) it's a hci paper (ii) I have no idea what's going on for market structure and am abit rusty with everything else (iii) I have 6 more papers to try so I can improve. HAHA.
Shall retire now. Piano tomorrow, yawn. Pbbfft. I wanted to post a funny screenshot but blogger's being quite a bitch. =X Okay. Good night/morning world.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
♥ 11:28 PM
Say hello to chinchow and tonky ! Chinchow looks yellow but is actually green. Hrms. Haha. I love playing with photoshop. I hate firewalls. Gah. I'm grateful that the weekend is approaching. Heh, I can't stand school. And my shortened timetable is not fantastic. Blah.Kai shi dong le
Kuai le shi xuan ze.
Easier said than done mmms.
For all those times we complained when it did not rain. For all those times we cheered when they announced the cancellation of the session. For all those times we cheered only because we saw leemeikay. For all those times we walked and slacked or tried to overtake other classes. For all those times we laughed and grumbled in the drizzle. For all those times we ran outside to look at the sky, hoping to hear thunder. For all those times we rushed to the track hoping to be the first to start and end.Jogging sessions. Sooo Cedar. (:
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
♥ 11:31 PM
Because I like being random.
>: (
Star Wars challenged the doctrine of MAD
sunshine policy
Interesting. Was reading up on wikipedia on ostpolitik and it said that it was somewhat similar to S Korea's sunshine policy. Which just made me think of ajchoir. Heh. I tend to link things.
Quite lazy to talk about my day. Coffee just doesn't do it for me. I feel sleepy. Rawrr. ): But yay, I love the picture and the song.
Cedar.Cedar.Cedar. :D
Yayy I like my nicenice cousins. Smile smile nicenice cousins. Hurhur. And go shimae boy ! And nessa ! And my dear altos ! Okay basically the whole choir. Haha. Fret less. (:
Poor. Tuition is expensive. Time is money. No time. Coincidentally, no money. I love my windbreaker. Haha. Trala. Okay. Whatever. Off to crap out an AQ and an outline.
And for some weird reason, I'm frequently reminded of this line. (in zx's book, on the radio in the bath, on the radio in the car.. and I believe in fate sort of..)
To love is to let go.
♥ 1:53 AM
I don't quite know the details and I'm not too sure because I'm not exactly within the context of the situation. But whatever the case my dears, we're in this together. You can take us out of the choir but you can't take the choir out of us. (:
When you're weary, feeling small
When tears are in your eyes,
I will dry them all
I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you
I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Sail on silver girl
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way
See how they shine
When you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Waters. One of my favourite songs since we sang it for the sec4s' farewell in sec3. I looove nice lyrics. (:
Whatever, whenever
I'll be there.
Hugs (:
♥ 12:15 AM
| You Are a Visionary Soul |
 You have great vision and can be very insightful.In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer. Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul |
Haha, did the quiz before. And I got the same result too. Things never change eh.
I am really at a loss for words. I don't know whether to call it indignance or exasperation or worse things. I just never thought it could degenerate to such a state. Perhaps I should be blamed for wishful thinking and the like. But seriously, maybe this time it can't be about you anymore. A lot of the times I wonder how one can be so deaf. Now I think that more importantly, how can one be so blind ?
Previously I thought that the onus on you should be discounted because of your selflessness towards others. Thinking about it now, I wonder why you don't wonder about the whole irony in this situation. I shouldn't feel bad about not taking the blame because dammit everyone should have this privilege once in a while. I guess I'm quite soft about a lot of things and I don't show much persistence in anything at all. But really. In all seriousness, I don't know what I did (or maybe what I didn't do) to deserve this.
HAHAHA. Try to convince me that it's not justified. Go ahead. Substantiate, expound, enlighten me. Defend yourself. I'm have half a mind to just give up caring like a good friend would. Since I feel that my 'status' has diminished considerably yet in my eyes you remain as important as ever.
(omg do I sound like a particular emo kid ? ayes. I don't care. am tempted to change my blog address. you know what, this is an exact repeat of last year except maybe in a different form.)
That you don't get my not so subtle hints is further proof of my point. Oh rawrr. See, the fact that I actually bother to feel so much, to think excessively goes to show my concern for this.. this degeneration.
I have better things to do than to feel annoyed and depressed with people who are typically known for mitigating such emotions.
ARGH BITE ME.
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
♥ 1:02 AM
#&)^#&^@*&#^*&@^$*&!^#!@&!)@^
That was pig latin for I really hate school and life is uber depressing. It's 85% academic. Lols. ARGH. ))): Packed my notes and finished zx's present as well as 4 essay outlines. Sigh. DAMMIT.
I will not be vulgar.
I will not be vulgar.
I will not be vulgar.
I can't believe you of all people are doing this to me.
Monday, August 14, 2006
♥ 12:48 AM
Can you read my mind?
Do you know what it is you do to me?
Don't know who you are
Just a friend from another star
Here I am like a kid at a school
Holding hands with a god, I'm a fool
Will you look at me quivering
Like a little girl shivering
You can see right through me
Can you read my mind?
Can you picture the things I'm thinking of?
Wondering why you are
All the wonderful things you are
You can fly, you belong to the sky
You and I could belong to each other
If you need a friend,
I'm the one to fly to
If you need to be loved, (to be loved)
Here I am, read my mind
That's Can You Read My Mind by Maureen Mcgovern from the Superman OST. Mmms, I think it was from the original superman.
Managed to finish up one outline for geog prac 6, one drq for the latest geog timed prac and practically all of geog prac 7. I also rewrote my hist tutorial 6 outline. BEAMS. Okay but it still doesn't discount the fact that I woke up at 1ish today. =/ You know, every single sunday, db and I have the 'I don't want to go to school, it really sucks' sms conversation without fail. Ahh. ): Further proof that Singaporeans are some of the most unhappy people in SEA. And it's not exactly dissatisfaction either.
Oh wells. I love all my cards and presents. BEAMS. I realise I have a lot of green stuff. Haha. You know, it's funny but I'm thankful for my green specs. It has helped me to break the ice a few times. Good thing my father persuaded me to pick them instead of the red ones. My room looks as if a tornado hit it. Papers and stuff everywhere. I like it though. The pictures and little gifts I've accumulated over the years. But I need to pack my notes. RAWRR. Sigh. I tell you my room (like marina bay) has its own microclimate. It's definitely warmer than the other parts of the house. I think it's because of the computer and lack of space. Lols, I should start talking about albedo and differential heating.
Am reading Tony Parson's Man and Boy as per zx's recommendation. Haha. And am using the green fur as my bookmark, lols. SIGH. Pong and I really need help. Though at this juncture, I have a feeling that I'm the one in dire straits and in more desperate need for help. Ayes. I don't like talking or thinking about it but I can't brush away that nagging feeling. I should just succumb to it. Haha..
I wonder if I am that insignificant (relatively). HAHA. Pun unintended. It certainly seems that way. It's not something I can change though.
Can you read my mind ?
Obviously not.
Sunday, August 13, 2006
♥ 2:06 AM
Hearts ! <3>
Okay, am sorry. I just spent 5 straight minutes playing with the bubble wrap that came with beansprout and baynay's present. (:
rocky. horizon gardens. furball/harry. gossip court sessions. scandals. videos. (whee evon and christina ! :D) one voice. irish blessings. handover. giving and receiving and owing. postman pat and his black and white cat. singing/dancing in xiaokai's room. xiaokai's face when he hits high notes. (LOLS) singing with michng. (: fireworks. walking around marina bay. getting lost.
love.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
♥ 12:36 AM
Okay. The truth is
I'm not going to finish the presents tonight and I feel quite horrible about it. Rahhh. Sigh. PBBBFFFFT.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
♥ 10:21 PM
So why do you fill my sorrow
With the words you've borrowed
From the only place you know
And why do you sing hallelujah
If it means nothing to you
Why do you sing with me at all?
Think about it. If you think it's a good enough excuse, so be it. Then I really am at a loss as to what to say. I just thought you knew better. Dry laugh. Sorry. It must be because I'm insignificantly problematic.
No, I'm not emo-ing because it is somehow the latest trend. Am currently in a very moody, wtf state. It's a combination of the farewell presents, being in debt, accumulating SCHOOLWORK and certain people that I keep telling myself to expect less from. Not going to dwell on it further tonight. And anyway, the thought of extra history tomorrow makes me want to break all the bones in ____'s body. No prizes for guessing who. Mmms, this shall be known as the fight/kill mood.
Oh and only because I just can't resist (even though you don't visit), all the best to YOU BOTH. :D
streetlight people, living just to find emotion
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
♥ 2:12 PM
It's no fun wanting to be all generous when one doesn't have the capital. And I hate the feeling of regretting my purchases so let's just not go there. Rush rush rush. Sigh. 6 hours of econs. Rolls around. Meow. Erm. No, DIFFERENT BATHTUBS PEOPLE. I feel like watching Sound of Music. Christopher Plummer was quite a handsome chap. Mmms. Random. Bad habits. GO SOOKS ! Are you reading this ? Hurhur. I feel quite wrecked with guilt. Ayes. ))): Sorry dear friend.
Nat day celebrations were boring. No offence xiaokai. =/ Though the j2s presenting for the dress up were hilarious. A bunch of 33 had brunch at bishan macs and took lame neoprints. Lols. 9 of us including hzbro. Then I met zx, db and the sc. Lols, very hard to shop. But they were nice enough to follow me to ikea. ((:
Okay dang. Have to rush to tuition. Hoho.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
♥ 10:44 PM
 |
| 'What" will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
I couldn't resist. Spamming zhanny's tagboard is really a cheap thrill. Hoho. Hist, geog, econs. SUCKS.
♥ 5:10 PM
Christabel's lame comeback line: "You're so badger-like. Are you the spawn of Saddam Hussein or something" |
| 'What" is your lame comeback line?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
WAHAHA. Someone remind me to use this on tmx. Hehe.
| Why do people run from christabel? |
| You have an overwhelming urge to sing we are the world over and over at the top of your lungs |
| 'Why" do people run from you?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
Hey hey ! This is very possible actually. Lols.
I got a new swatch. Glee. (: Yayy for suddenly generous parents. Finally done with lame ass gp essay. If geog is going to be open book, I can breathe a little easier mmms. History essay calls. SUCKS. Aloy, saffie, gladis, markmark where art thou ! I need nationalism help, lols.
♥ 3:36 AM
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Do the following without complaining.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you've completed yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say that he/she has been tagged.
FAVOURITES:
color: peaches and turquoises and plums..
food: this is really hard. baked rice, prata, dessert, practically anything spicy..
song: this is hard too. coldplay's amsterdam. modest mouse's ocean breathe salty. (I don't care I'm going to list a whole chunk of bands because I want to. HAH.) jimmy eat world. vertical horizon. foo fighters. goo goo dolls. jet. elton john. gavin degraw. the darkness. the beatles. kelly clarkson. the corrs. (okay this list will go on forever so I shall end here..)
movie: ayes. the questions are all so tough. lols. moulin rouge. emma. love actually. (spot recurring theme, lols) the sound of music.
sport: watching soccer. playing captain's ball.
day of the week: saturday
season: summer. spring is quite rainy. hrms.
ice-cream: if it's ice cream, it's my favourite. mmms.
CURRENT:
mood: depressed. (hence doing this quiz, lols)
taste: good taste. always had good taste, haha.
clothes: typical flowered shorts and mickey shirt.
desktop: photo of ajchoir during first half of voyaje this year.
time: 3.48am
surroundings: bedroom. clutter.
annoyance: school. school. school. schoolwork. timed ass. overdue work. lack of money and time.
thoughts: DIE LAHHHS. ):
FIRSTS:
best friend: nicolette goh
crush: hmmms. probably my hot caucasian piano teacher when I was in primary 3/4 ? lols.
movie: some disney movie ? beauty and the beast ? lols.
music: sunday school music. ((:
LASTS
cigarette: never
drink: aych tu ohh.
ride: family car back from grandma/sister's birthday dinner
crush: twinks.
movie: I can't exactly remember. pbbbfft.
phone call: my aunt.
HAVE YOU EVER:
dated one of your best friends: yeah, I go out with sharon all the time. wish I could see sooks more and the rest of p10..
been arrested: I'm above the law lols
skinny-dipped: not skinny so cannot dip
been on tv: mmm hmmm. with flora in sec4 when she was interviewed after she went for pm Lee's swearing in lols
kissed someone you don't know: no. in fact it must've been like what, 10 years since I last kissed anyone ? lols
THINGS:
4 things you did today: slept too much. had a nice dinner. finished adrian mole and the WMD. read a funny essay.
4 sounds you can hear right now: kelly clarkson's moment like this. extremely noisy motorbike. keyboard and computer noises. the fan.
The chosen TEN(i dont abide by the rules) to do this:
pTEN. hahaha. okay lame since it's like, p-8 now ? unless you count des and chairman. ahhaha. any new developments ?!? erm anyone who wants to do this lame ass survey. db, sooks, corinna, mei, ajchoir people, cedar people, random planeteers..
Ikea ! I can't wait ! Is dafc doing anything ? Meows. I wish I had more money. Yayy, the coming saturday should be fun. I wish I had more time. Someone spare me the collateral. (however it is spelt..) Baby steps. In the early stages. Lols, like some nationalist movement. Sounds good so far.
Sigh I let myself down. Again. And again.
Saturday, August 05, 2006
♥ 11:59 AM
I wish I didn't have to go to school. That all practice questions would just be emailed to me. Then I can study and do work in peace. Maybe for a day or two in the week I'll go back for consultation. No need for distractions or time wasting lectures/tutorials. That would be the ideal situation since school now is a bloody pain in the neck. It's like some small clot at the back of my head slowly bleeding me dry.
Thanks to fatima for the meter. I'd say school is pain factor 4.2 on the pain assessment scale. Not mind blowing. Yet.
♥ 1:01 AM
I don't need to be lectured to feel guilty or whatever it is that I am expected to feel. I'm sorry. I'm probably supposed to feel remorseful and all but instead I'm in a very wtf mood. I really effing hate being lectured. Call it pride. Call it stupidity. But dammit, just leave me to my own devices. It totally threw me off balance. Sure it put things in perspective. Like for the what 50 effing billionth time. It just spoilt my whole day. I know your intentions but I'm sorry this is just not how things should be done with me. I come back and I get this. It's not that I even expect anything close to a hero's welcome at all. In fact I missed all that shit. But just have some faith that I'll do something.
I don't know. Dammit. School just effing sucks and thinking about it is making me feel this annoying mixture of irritation, weariness and panic.
Dinner at least made me forget about it for awhile. Thanks to nessa, mr, xiaokai, xiaokang, gpt and the silly cow for the laughs.
(just to digress, I am uber annoyed because I don't know the whys and the hows of the jet stream and the effing westerlies. okay sorry for being vulgar. I practise restraint most of the time.)
The horrible truth is that I know that I'm letting myself down. I'm disappointing myself and so many others. It sucks as it is. Please don't make it worse.
Only two hours of sleep but I'm the one who should be sorry.
I am sorry.
Thursday, August 03, 2006
♥ 12:45 AM
I think I have a problem with people who are too egocentric. Thought about it last time and decided that future husband cannot be someone who doesn't care for my friends and all. The whole ai wu ji wu thing. Haha. Quite random but well yes. Like it or not. Ayes. I don't know.
A good friend was telling me to just expect less of people because friends forget stuff. And so I should do things without expecting anything in return.
Ayes to sum it up, hope is the cause of disappointment.
I ask myself what I have learned, what I have gained, what I have gleaned. I make comparisons. And really I am disappointed. I can't exactly say with much pride or conviction that I've been the greater friend. All I know is that my expectations and hopes weren't met. They aren't being met. Ayes, I should only blame myself.
I guess the reason why I expect so much is because of the high regard I have for my friends. Perhaps I just want them to reciprocate with the same energy. But I guess that is just asking too much. I don't know. Ayes ah wells. Sigh. I admit I'm selfish. It would be ideal but it is quite impossible of me to just keep giving. I don't have that kind of capacity, that kind of perfect selflessness.
Just have to pray about it.
Late night chatting with xk, xk (xiaokai ! hahah, real funny kid) and markmark. (: The revolution, the farewell, tough times ahead.. Haha. Start bel, you have got to start. Quick at least write something for the stupid case study.
I should really stop feeling bitter just because people fall short of my standards.
♥ 12:22 AM
For Xiaokang
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)
Lee Ann Womack's I Hope You Dance.
Very meaningful lyrics, haha. Reminds me of darling quaaa.
(: (: (:
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
I hope you dance.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
♥ 1:15 AM
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Of a better life
In this world
Divided by fear
We've gotta believe that
There's a reason we're here
Yeah, there's a reason we're here
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
See the truth all around
Our faith can be broken
And our hands can be bound
But open our hearts and fill up the emptiness
With nothing to stop us
Is it not worth the risk?
Yeah, is it not worth the risk?
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter
Cause these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
We can't go wrong
Thinking it's wrong
To speak our minds
I've gotta let out what's inside
Is it love tonight
When everyone's dreaming
Can we get it right?
Yeah, well can we get it right?
Cause these are the days worth living
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Even if hope was shattered I know it wouldn't matter
These are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
♥ 12:27 AM
I think it's the wind in my stomach. =/
With regards to school, I doubt I've really committed many acts of defiance at all. So just let me be. For such matters, let me be. Those who know me already know the answer when I ask the question. It's most of the time rhetorical anyways. Okay, I don't know. My grammar is seriously going down the drain. Dismal.
Much to do. Much to do. Time to start bel. Much to do.
I don't think it's been that obvious. Perhaps only to a few. But I've been mighty confused. There is this unspoken sadness. Okay maybe it's only one sided. And maybe sadness isn't the correct word. But yeah, if someone else can sense it, it can't just be me right ? Ahh, it's as if nothing changed and nothing happened. Though it's precisely because nothing happened that something should've changed. I don't know. It's either you're not letting me know, not being honest with me or I was and still am just purely and merely paranoid. Perhaps, in a sense, caring too much when, I guess, I don't actually need to. I don't know. Hopefully things will make sense soon. I can't stand not knowing.
I don't know if this is very relevant because I am at present too exhausted (despite 5 hour nap, stomach still weirdly bloated I think and I have little appetite for anything) to dissect lyrics but I like this song. The whole 'dream' theme.. Freiheit's Keeping the Dream Alive.
Tonight the rain is falling
Full of memories of people and places
And while the past is calling
In my fantasy I remember their faces
The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we had to try
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
I hear myself recalling
Things you said to me
The night it all started
And still the rain is falling
Makes me feel the way I felt when we parted
The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we have to try
No need to hide no need to run
'Cause all the answers come one by one
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
I need you
I love you
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we had to try
No need to hide no need to run
'Cause all the answers come one by one
The hopes we had were much too high
Way out of reach but we had to try
No need to hide no need to run
'Cause all the answers come one by one
The game will never be over
Because we're keeping the dream alive
(:
Oddly, I can faintly taste sulphur. Ick. Perhaps food poisoning. Though I doubt it's very serious. Mmms.