Long Overdue Update!

Hey guys! I apologize for going MIA over here. It's been quite the busy and intense month for my dad, but the good news is, he has a little bit of a break for a little while from treatment now. It would be fantastic if we find out that he's done with treatment!! Keep your fingers crossed for us! Over the last month he's had 25 radiation treatments and a few more chemo treatments. It's been a day to day process with some days being better than others. The side effects of all of this treatment have beat him up pretty good but he's continued to remain positive. If anything, I actually think that his mental state becomes more inspiring every day, which is really amazing!

When I look at the beginning of this journey and where my dad is now, it's like two completely different people. I think that's normal...just like with grief, I think accepting a diagnosis like cancer and going through treatment is a process with it's own stages. Where my dad has been extremely lucky is in having so many wonderful people who have reached out to him and shown him kindness. Every card that he's received, he's kept in a box, and he says he goes through it almost daily and can almost recite them by memory now :) He talks about everyone who's sent him anything like they're old friends. He's really been so touched by the kindness that everyone has shown him and I know that he wouldn't have gotten through this the way he has without this. I've even watched him start to become a support to other patients getting treatment and the person who sometimes puts a smile on another patient's face or on the nurse's face who's working with him.

Dad hitting the gong at the radiation center on his last day of radiation!

On his last day of radiation, I could tell that he's actually going to miss it. Not the process itself, nor the horrendous side effects (the worst being that it's really hard for him to swallow right now because it burns your esophagus), but the people that he saw every day and getting out of the house. The same with chemo. To think that anyone could look forward to chemo sounds unfathomable. We didn't think my dad was going to lose his hair because he's kept it for so long, but with this last go round being so intensive, his hair finally started falling out. But he's dealing with it. And the side effects have been worse this time than ever. But he's done for now! And despite today being maybe one of his worst days, side effect wise, he's been able to focus on the fact that chemo was (hopefully) helping him and that he got to socialize some while he was getting it.

Last day of chemo (a double dose!) with bonus blood infusion

Our next appointment isn't until March 31st, so he has a good long break now to recover as best as he can and we'll see what kind of effect all of this treatment had!!! Hopefully the effect is NO MORE CANCER!!! Here's hoping for that! Whatever the outcome, he couldn't have gotten where he got, and couldn't have fought as much as he had without all of the support that he's had. It's really been quite amazing. I've started mailing out thank you cards and still have quite a few to go! I didn't want anyone to think that your kindness has gone unnoticed. That couldn't be further from the truth!!!! Every card, every handmade object, every thoughtful gift, has been TRULY priceless in this process. Each little thought brings my dad that much more strength and there's really no way for me to thank anyone enough for that. Thank you everyone!!!

You Guys And Gals Are The Best!!

I just wanted to take a moment to check in and thank everyone who has contributed so far to Creating a Light and let you know how my dad's doing! This project has become so much bigger than I ever thought it would be. I don't mean in scope, but in meaning. It's had the intended effect on my dad that I hoped it would and then SO MUCH MORE!!! His outlook on life has changed quite drastically for the better and he's fighting harder than I think he even thought he could. It's not so much that he feels that he has people to answer to so much as he's learning that there is so much good in the world...and if complete strangers can care and take the time to wish him well and create something for him, put down kind words on a card, share a piece of themselves with him, let him know that he is in their thoughts, then there is so so so much worth fighting for. You're all painting a beautiful picture of a world that he very much wants to remain in.

I took him today for treatment and things didn't go as planned. Mondays are long days for treatment. On Mondays, it's labs, meeting with his oncologist, chemo, then radiation. When I went to pick him up this morning, I dropped off a few things that arrived for the Creating a Light project and let's just say it was a great start to the day :) Today's mail was extra special with a postcard, a homemade framed motivational picture, two packs of candy bars and a hand knitted chemo mascot!!! Which he says he shall cuddle with every night :p So his spirits were up today. He got his labs drawn and we met with his oncologist who said that his white blood cell count was too low for him to get chemo today. Normally this would be crushing news to my dad. Last time he was told this, it spun him into a pretty negative spiral. But today he was ok with that news. He knows now that it's nothing he's doing wrong and it's just the way this goes. Chemo wreaks havoc on your white blood cell count and it cut his in half from last week so it can't afford to go any lower.

What his oncologist DID tell him though was that despite his WBC count being low, he thought he looked healthier and in better spirits than he had seen him in awhile!! And he said that medically, he's doing pretty well right now!! My dad responded by telling his oncologist that "my son has people from all over the world cheering for me" :p And added a big smile. His doctor smiled too and said that he loved to hear stuff like that and that supports are one of the most important things when fighting cancer.

I want to make sure that all of you know that you are quite literally saving someone's life with these amazing acts of kindness. Both my dad and myself have been so overwhelmed by the kindness of everyone with this project and it's had such a surprisingly profound effect on him. Thank you all so much for that!!!!

During last weeks chemo session...2nd this round, number 4 overall!

I want to keep it going! I need to keep it going. Today would've been the halfway mark of this round of chemo if he could've gotten it. So there is still a LOT of fighting to go and the effects of chemo are cumulative unfortunately, meaning it gets harder and harder with each round. If you have the time, please help spread the word about this. Each postcard or greeting card or candy bar or bookmark or crossword puzzle book or pair of socks or unique creation that my dad gets is another reminder that there is something to fight for. He's keeping all of his cards in a box and he told me today that he's probably read each card that he's gotten twenty times already. He loves to go back and remind himself what people have shared. He gets overwhelmed with the kindness of strangers, these strangers become friends to him, though he may never meet them, he wants to fight not just for himself, but to keep being in a world where he can share life with everyone who's shared such kindness with him.

Thank you all again so so much. If you would like to share this project with others, here's a link to the original post! Have a great week everyone!! And happy Mardi Gras to my fellow New Orleanians :)

The Power of Kindness

My dad started his new treatment regimen this week and successfully made it through week one! Not only did he make it through, but I think he's in better spirits and more determined and honestly, more healthy than he's been since the beginning of this journey. The funny thing is, this is by far the harshest treatment he's had so far. Prior to this, he had really only made it through three chemo sessions before his body just shut down. I think a lot of that was him just not taking care of himself as much as he could have. Though that's easier said than done when you have cancer. He was losing too much weight, was too sick (nauseated and vomiting), too weak, and most importantly, too unmotivated to do anything about it. Getting the energy to make something to eat was too hard for him. Even if someone else cooked for him, it was a chore for him to eat and nothing tasted good. It was much easier to sit in a chair all day than to get up and walk.

We got his official treatment schedule this week. 25 radiation treatments and 5 rounds of chemo. He made it through his first round of chemo this week and the first 3 radiation treatments and I'm taking him on Monday for his first really long day...Starting at 8am, he gets labs drawn, then meets with the oncologist, then has chemo for 4 hours, then has radiation. that will be every monday for the next 4 weeks, with radiation only for the other 4 days of the week. Here's the kicker though...He's been in better spirits than I've seen him in ages and he's actually been physically healthier than I've seen him in ages! There are days where he's not just ok...he's been actually HAPPY!! This is a big deal you guys. I haven't seen that in my dad for awhile. A good day for us lately has been a day when he hasn't been TOO depressed or has been able to see SOME positive. And I don't blame him for any of that. Cancer is a horrible horrible thing...and I truly can't imagine what it's like to be in his shoes. BUT I'm so freaking happy that HE is having some happy moments lately!!

Now I know he does not look happy in the least bit in this picture :p But I assure you he was. I wanted to post this picture for a few reasons. Let me just tell you though, it's impossible to get a good picture of my dad. My dad is not someone that you can say "smile at the camera!" and think that will work. He'll just talk to you and you'll get pictures of him with his mouth open. So you just have to call his name and snap the picture when he turns around :p A month ago, my dad couldn't get from the car to the receptionists desk at the hospital. We would have to get him a wheelchair. I took this picture after we walked a really long distance for my dad, and he was perfectly fine!! He was making himself a cup of coffee here, something he usually asks me to do for him. This was right before he got his third radiology treatment yesterday. When he was done, we walked all the way back to the car with no problems too and there was no negativity or anything. A really pleasant day! It just blows my mind that after chemo and three radiation treatments he's BETTER than he was a month ago.

This is attributed to this outpouring of love and kindness that this project has shown to him. It's not even just the physical things that he's gotten. Though those have meant the world to him. Each thing is so very precious to him. So much more than I thought it would be!!! So far, he's gotten two postcards, a greeting card, and some CDs. You would swear those are his most cherished possessions. He even asked for a keepsake box to keep all of his cards in. The greeting card came with an offer of food being delivered to him whenever he wanted it. This is just one example of people just blowing him away with kindness. It's had such a profound effect on him. What's meant so much to him is just knowing how many people have thought about him and wished him well.

I've showed him every comment, every post, every retweet, every instagram post, facebook post, etc that I can find. And he's hit all over again by the kindness of people he doesn't even know who have taken the time out to think of him. When he heard Renay and Ana's podcast (Fangirl Happy Hour), it truly made his night!! Thank you again ladies, SO MUCH! I swear though...I think explaining things like what a podcast is, is going to drive me more insane than caring for a person with cancer. This has all given him so much hope and it's had the intended effect...he feels like he has a team behind him now. Others who are following his progress. And he looks forward to the mail each day now :p All things to keep him fighting, all things to help him believe in himself more because others believe in him as well. My dad has struggled throughout his life with feeling like he deserves good things sometimes I think. This has shown him the power of letting the good in, it's shown him the power of compassion. It's shown that if you make yourself vulnerable, that vulnerability allows for growth beyond your dreams.

I talked in the last post about wanting to use this blog to help others as well and wanting to share the stories of others that could use support as well. There's a pretty amazing guy out there by the name of Christopher Sotelo. He's started vlogging on youtube about life with quadriplegia. His videos are pretty amazing. He thought it was time to start sharing his story and I'm so glad he has. The more we understand each other, the more we can help each other. And I'm proud of Chris too for telling his story...I'm sure it's hugely therapeutic for him as well. He's calling his series of videos "The Vent"...follow his journey by subscribing to his youtube channel. Taking the time to watch his videos can only expand your life and your understanding of human existence :) AND I'm sure Chris will appreciate the support.

Thank you guys so much once again for all of your continued support!!!! Keep sharing please and keep being awesome :D We still have a long journey ahead, but the journey is looking so much less scary now :) We can't thank you enough!! I wish I could adequately express what this has meant to my dad.