God will smile upon NIE!

Today, church service. Was praying for NIE. And God, who is ever so faithful, showed me an image which heartens me alot and gave me much encouragement and courage. Well, you know how in the Old Testament, God will appear as cloud over the Tent of Meeting, thus they say it's the glory of God? Well, in this image that God gave, I could see very clearly that it was between blk 4 and 3. I was standing close to the student hub. In this image I could see very clear bright sun rays shining upon NIE and the clouds were gathered there together. Somehow, it seems like God is smiling upon NIE, God presence was in NIE!

I almost cried when I saw that image and God spoke! GOD SPOKE! Through Hebrews 12:15,

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

I believe what God is trying to say is, NO ONE in NIE should lose his/her chance of knowing the Lord personally and have a relationship with Him. All in NIE deserved this personal relationship with Him and shouldn't be denied of the chance. And these bitter roots, I believe it maybe for the believers that God wants us to get rid of any bad relationships, or any things that's hindering our growth with God and our burden for people. We have to remember that, because of the Holy Spirit, because we have God as our God and saviour, we will be able to overcome. Perhaps, it's to help those around us get rid of these bitter roots too.

I was at peace when I was given this image and I really feel like great things will fall upon NIE. Yes, I maybe scare and all. But, deep down inside, I believe God is going to do great things for NIE, in NIE, within NIE. I'm very excited to be part of this plan and awaits for His work to be done. To the believers of NIE, I pray that we'll all be able to complete God's work and duty. We are blessed by God so that we could be a blessing to others. I pray that when school starts, we'll be able to bless the people around us. To the non-believers, I really hope you'll have this personally relationship with God. Would you give Him this chance, the God who knows you before you were even born, the God who created you. Would you give yourself this chance to know Him?

Consider.

OH GOSH!

Haha. I know it's pretty late now. But, my DEAR, CUTE, WONDERFUL, AMAZING juniors are telling me about the band. Especially about the band camp and it's POP session. Interesting to hear them rant about it! Haha.

Well, it got me thinking though, alot of things about band. Yup, ALOT! I mean, for someone who spent so much time in band, for the first time, I really gave up alot and really sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Previously, I would just keep offering my help, whether asked or not. This time round, I really offered very little help and in fact, I was missing from the picture most of the time! Haha. Oh well~

Haha. But, I think, if it wasn't for HIMB, I wouldn't have come to know the Lord today. I would still be as hot tempered as ever. But somehow, it's interesting to know from your juniors that they are not as afraid as you after they come to truly know the person you are. It's really quite heartening to know that. And honestly, I do enjoy spending time with the juniors. But, today, I don't enjoy the company as much, because, I don't really know them now. I didn't spend as much time with them as before, which to me is a pity and is something I did not want. But, oh well, I'm more or less out of the picture.

It's really nice and interesting to see batches after batches leaving and graduating from the band. And, from the day I was a Sec 1 student till now, it's already 10 years. Like, WOW! 10 years in the band! I didn't really expect myself to stay so long! Haha. But, I thank God for all the experience with the band. Many a times when I feel like giving up, God planted words in my heart which allowed me to stay on strong.

But, today, ever since I left, I do not know whether I made a right choice. But, I know, no choice is a bad choice. With God, I can do all things, whether I'm in band or not. Before, I may regret spending so much time in the band. But, today, after looking back, I realised that my stay in the band actually becomes my experiences. How to handle students, how to work with other people, how to teach music, etc. Yes, at times, I hope to return, but let's wait upon the Lord.

Like what my shepherd say, there's too many things for me to handle now. I must take baby step and walk slowly. Well, regarding band, this batch of graduating seniors are very interesting. Let's see how they could further help to edify the band after they leave school officially! =)

My Walk with Christ

I was commenting to a friend that, after reading my previous blog entries, I realised how much I have changed ever since my walk with God. Yes, it may be a short 1 year, 1 month and 2 days (on the day of this blog), but still, I guess, I'm not as bad tempered and as pessimistic as compared to the time I know God.

I remembered how much I dwell in band then, how much time and effort, energy and strength I spent in band that I didn't know what is to lead a life of my own. I didn't know how to enjoy time but only did band stuff again and again, day after day, year after year. While all my friends have left the band, I still stayed on. I was always looking down at myself, finding all ways to get rid of my life. In fact, I did tried to commit suicide before, but failed because I chickened out (THANK GOD!). Not many know about this and now, I feel ashsamed that I even allowed the devil to allow me to do so! Sometimes, when I think back. I don't know whether I should be thankful for those days or to be upset about them.

But honestly, comparing to today, I really feel much happier, filled with JOY. I feel like there's a purpose in my life and it's not all about band. Yes, I may have thoughts of returning to band. But this thought isn't that important to me as compared to before. Today, there's so much I want to do that I do not know which I should be doing! Everything seem good too me, but which is the best? I'm not afraid of sharing my condition with others. In fact, others thought I'm kidding. But, I thank God for it. Perhaps this shows that I'm secure about it, though at times I do feel hurt and pain about it. But, God grew me so much in this areas.

Today, I have God's love overflowing in me. Everyday I wake up thanking God for allowing me to return back to Him. I thank God for being my saviour, my lover. The other day, I was telling my mum, Jesus is my lover, my husband. And now, I still believe in that. No one else compares to Him.

Recently, God showed me many interesting stuff that freaked me out as well as increase my Godly fear of Him. Within the week itself, not only once, but twice, God used people to share with me verse He had reminded me of and He used people to share the same verse to encourage a sister. Honestly, when I first realised that, I was like, "God! I'm sorry I doubted that it was my thoughts and not your promptings!" I was really ashamed of myself. But, I thank God for sending people to take away my blindness.

Many times, I wonder, if I knew God better, would my life be much different. But, I came to a conclusion. If I knew God earlier, I won't be able to go through so much drama till I love Him so much and fear Him so much. I wouldn't have understand Him so much that I want to walk in faith with Him. In fact, I wouldn't be who I am today.

As usual, a verse before ending off. 2 Corinthians 5:17,

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Today, I want to say, when you choose to accept Jesus into your life, your life will never be the same again. It will become so amazing, so full, so joyful, etc. I'm not saying that as a Christian there's no ups or downs, but I'm saying, it's because we have a saviour now in our life, we could walk this road bravely and strongly because we know that we are not alone. This assurance is not able to be given by anyone except God Himself.

So, my question today, do you have a personal relationship with Him yet? Will you give him a chance?

Purpose

Well well, today's CG was pretty exciting. We got to surveyed people. I guess, NYCA3 pretty happening. Haha. Always alot of INTERESTING activities to do. But, let me just share about what we did.

Today, we did a survey on "Purpose" as this is a subject/topic we are looking into now. So, we went out to the public today to survey people regarding purpose. So, the 2 questions were:

1. When you see the word "purpose", what comes to your mind?
2. What is your purpose in life?
Yup, those were the 2 questions and we went about asking people, stopping anyone we feel we could ask. And, they were people of different age groups and occupations. So, we spent around half an hour going around asking. And finally, we returned back to collate and share our findings. Guess what? We were pretty shocked about the results.

For me, I started to feel sad and burdened for the people as I realised that the main purpose of most Singaporeans we surveyed were for money. The motivation people are having is money. I know we are living in a country of high living standards, but, money as a purpose? I don't mean to judge or whatsoever, but, I believe that there are greater purposes in life rather than just money. Even simply like living life to the fullest would be like so much greater, at least to me.

But, all these surveys got myself thinking. How about myself? What's purpose to me and what's my purpose? Well, to really think about it, purpose to me is the goal of my life. What I wish to achieve before Jesus' returns. As for my purpose, well, for now is to become the kind of teacher God has made me to be so that I could fulfill the Great Commission through the things I'm doing. Personally, after GC, I'm considering of going church planting while teaching overseas. But, let's pray more about it.

Before I end off, a verse came to my mind. Jeremiah 29:11,

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God has a plan and purpose in creating us and placing us here on earth, in the specific country, area, workplace, etc. we are in. Are we going to live up His plans, His purpose for us? Are we willing to take this step of faith and say, "Yes God, I want to. Use me." I want to be such a person who dedicate my life fully to God. I don't want to be pulled down, I want to stand firm, like a seed on good soil.

So, as a believer or non believer, what's your purpose in life today?