The Last Day of 2009

Alright, I need to post this post before I go out later. Honestly, I do not know how to start on this post though. Haha. BUT!!! I'm glad my room is finally packed! NO MORE STY for perhaps a week? ahHAhAa!

Well well, the year of 2009, what do I have to say? I think, 2009 has been more a crazy year for me! But, positive crazy. I mean, compared to previous years, I think these craziness has allowed me to grow in different ways. Well, I think, if it wasn't for God, I wouldn't have grown.

Looking back, I honestly feel that 2009 is like a drama-mama year for me. Haha. As in, there's a lot of happenings. Water baptism, membership, new unit, new caregroup, new shepherd, another new caregroup, new practicum school, etc.! ALOT OF HAPPENINGS. But still, I thank God for all these. For if all these were not planned, I wouldn't have move a step forward.

Also, the people around me played very important roles too. Those who were there to distract me, good or bad, those who were there to support me, help me, guide, etc! There's a lot of people again I'll have to say. Life is so interesting when you're in the house of God!

Well well, 2009. Bye! Hello 2010! =)

merry CHRISTmas!!!

Hello to all! I was missing!!! Was very busy with Unit outing, Chalet, etc. In other words, was busy. Haha. But anyway, today is CHRISTmas eve! Just want to wish everyone a very blessed Christmas!

If you're interested, my church is having not 1 but 2 Christmas services today in Suntec Convention Hall 602. The services start at either 3.30pm or 7.30pm. Hope to see you there! =)

The Meeting with the Juniors

Last night, I met up with my dear juniors. Well, some of them only. Haha. They wanted to talk and so when they asked me, I agreed to it. But, for once, I didn't inform anymore alumni because I wasn't sure if they want them there and whether they would be comfortable with so many around. But still, I think and believe it was a night well spent. And honestly, the meeting atmosphere wasn't as tense as I expected. Perhpas, the pre-meeting helped. =)

When my juniors asked me, I was actually very touched and honoured. I mean, for so many years, very seldom my juniors will ask me for help. But, when asked, I'll always try to be there. And truly, God is always like that, never forsaking or leaving us, always waiting for us to go to Him. God never turn us down as long as what we ask for and need is good for us and is in His plans. I really feel that God is really amazing. How is He able to not forskae us or leave us even though some of us may hate Him, not acknowleduge Him? It's really amazing. He just stays there faithfully knowing and believing we will evetually return to Him. I do not know about others. But for me, I have returned to God. And I thank and praise God for this. And honestly, God is and just and faithful God. =)

Well, back to yesterday. I believe everything ended on a good note and I really hope my juniors would be able to learn from it and really, have their blood boiling in a positive way, towards "The Band Dream" I've asked them. These students have many big dreams and I hope the people who are staying on or would be joining them would be able to help them achieve these dreams. Honestly, I doubt I would be there to help them, but I pray that prayers will help them achieve. Well, as the BIble says in 1 Corinthians 3:6,

I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow

I have planted some of God's word there. I've also planted what I wanted, people to come and accept me for who I am. What I need to do now is to pray, pray that God will grow these seeds. But, the ultimate 'grower' is still God.So, I will wait upon Him and continue to believe that He will do wonders for this band. Well, hopefully, God has plans for me in this band! =)

NYC UNIT A PICNIC!!!

Exciting! Haha. Today is NYC Unit A picnic. I had a pretty fun time myself and I do hope that the other brothers and sisters did enjoy themselves today. And thank God for potatoes! Haha. We really had a potato feast today!

Received some affirmations today and I thank God for them. These affirmations made me want to grow more and become more firm in God. I don't want to give up. I want to continue to grow strong. But, like in my prayers, I ask God to continue to share my heart, let it not become proud or prideful, but let it always be humbled. I was really touched after reading these affirmations. Thanks brothers and sisters.

Today, Enghow did a pretty interesting activity today, but haix, the usual me needed to bring e tense atmosphere. Ended up, I shouldn't have done that. But, I was really feeling very very uncomfortable with the atomsphere. But, whatever the case, what's over is over. Anyways, he asked us to pen down what we want ourselves to grow in. But, I shan't type what's mine here. Haha. Perhaps not today, because I need to go off soon.

But I guess, I have to start growing up. Like what I always say to Yangyang. There's time to play and there's time to be serious. =)

A time to...

Well well, I'm suppose to be sleeping now. A crazy day ahead tomorrow! So far, this week has been pretty exciting. Gosh, I've been using the word 'exciting' alot these few days. Sunday was my nephew's first month and my intestine decided to have a time of cleaning. If you know what I meant. Monday, was back to school and received some very exciting news. Then, met up with Xiaohui. Tuesday, supposed to meet Sihua, but ended up home resting like crazy. Haha! Evening met up with the company.

Alright, I know I'm pretty random updating all those. But, my point is. Recently, for me, it seems like a lot of things to do. Tomorrow's the outing and have been planning with Jee Kai. I think I've learnt alot from this planning. A lot of things caught up here and there and thus the plan has to be changed again and again while in between waiting was being made. As I was sharing with Calyn today, there's a need to learn from my mistakes. Well, yes, indeed. Learn from our mistakes. The problem is, do I know the mistakes? I shan't talk more about the outing till after tomorrow.

Today, sudden CG. I honestly think NYCA3 is a very happening CG with a lot of last minute events. But, I guess, it's quite amazing how we could actually still come together despite the last-minute-ness. Haha! Whatever language is that! Back to today's CG. It's pretty interesting and all to come and look at how to sow and the attitudes of it. And...TODAY'S MY FIRST TIME PLAYING FOR WORSHIP! WOO HOO!!!

Actually, I really feel that my post today is pretty random. I think it's a time for randomness. Well, let's share the verse, Ecclesiastes 3:1-8,

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Actually, I quite like this verse. And if you notice, they are all actually opposite. And, this shows how amazing God made us to be, at least to me. He knows that we have different emotions and we will definitely experience them. Be it positive or negative. But, does He stop us from experiencing the different emotions. No. In fact, if we are experiencing the negative emotions, God is always there to help us overcome.

I can't remember reading from where, may be from a book, or perhaps someone told me this. But, it's something regarding Jesus and men. You know how sometimes when we are praying, we will say things like, 'God, Jesus, how could you actually understand how I really feel? You are God, Jesus, the almighty. So, what I'm experiencing now is like nothing to you. You wouldn't understand the pain I'm going through. Take this pain away from me, but if you can't take it away, go away. Leave me alone." Have you experience moments like that before? I do. I always forget about John 3:16. And more importantly, Jesus did experience the same earthly pain (I can't find a better word) as we experience. Jesus, reborn of human came onto earth to save us. He went through all the pains and even sufferings. And God actually allowed His one and only Son, Jesus to die on the cross for our sins even before we know Him. So, how can we say that God, Jesus, doesn't know the pain we may be facing.

Sometimes, we are so ashamed, so scared of going honestly to God regarding our pain and our sufferings. But, God is always waiting for us to go to Him no matter what the problem is. Yet, somehow we are so afraid. Perhaps, we are afraid of how God will see us, how He would judge us. Other times, we are so overjoyed in the blessings from God that we forgot to give Him the praises, the thanksgivings He's worthy off. Mind you, I'm not saying God is a God who seeks a lot of attention. But, more like, because how much man loves Him, that one wants to sing out, shout out praises and worship to Him.

I deeply believe there's a time for everything and it is alright to experience negative feelings. The thing is, how are you going to overcome it and come out victorious. How are you going to handle these negative thoughts and win this spiritual battle for God. In other words, the process of overcoming, how are you going to do it. We know what we want for the end, but how are we going to battle during the process.

Judging from my post, you may feel that I'm trying to overcome some stuff myself. And, yes. I am. Today, my question would be, at the end of the day, we all want to be victorious in Christ, but how many of us actually reach that point? Will we give up in the process half way? For me, I doubt I want that to happen.

And so, with my very painful fingers, I bid all nighty. I hope God will bless you throught the night. Remember, there's a time for everything and so, it's now time for rest! =)

God will smile upon NIE!

Today, church service. Was praying for NIE. And God, who is ever so faithful, showed me an image which heartens me alot and gave me much encouragement and courage. Well, you know how in the Old Testament, God will appear as cloud over the Tent of Meeting, thus they say it's the glory of God? Well, in this image that God gave, I could see very clearly that it was between blk 4 and 3. I was standing close to the student hub. In this image I could see very clear bright sun rays shining upon NIE and the clouds were gathered there together. Somehow, it seems like God is smiling upon NIE, God presence was in NIE!

I almost cried when I saw that image and God spoke! GOD SPOKE! Through Hebrews 12:15,

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

I believe what God is trying to say is, NO ONE in NIE should lose his/her chance of knowing the Lord personally and have a relationship with Him. All in NIE deserved this personal relationship with Him and shouldn't be denied of the chance. And these bitter roots, I believe it maybe for the believers that God wants us to get rid of any bad relationships, or any things that's hindering our growth with God and our burden for people. We have to remember that, because of the Holy Spirit, because we have God as our God and saviour, we will be able to overcome. Perhaps, it's to help those around us get rid of these bitter roots too.

I was at peace when I was given this image and I really feel like great things will fall upon NIE. Yes, I maybe scare and all. But, deep down inside, I believe God is going to do great things for NIE, in NIE, within NIE. I'm very excited to be part of this plan and awaits for His work to be done. To the believers of NIE, I pray that we'll all be able to complete God's work and duty. We are blessed by God so that we could be a blessing to others. I pray that when school starts, we'll be able to bless the people around us. To the non-believers, I really hope you'll have this personally relationship with God. Would you give Him this chance, the God who knows you before you were even born, the God who created you. Would you give yourself this chance to know Him?

Consider.

OH GOSH!

Haha. I know it's pretty late now. But, my DEAR, CUTE, WONDERFUL, AMAZING juniors are telling me about the band. Especially about the band camp and it's POP session. Interesting to hear them rant about it! Haha.

Well, it got me thinking though, alot of things about band. Yup, ALOT! I mean, for someone who spent so much time in band, for the first time, I really gave up alot and really sit back, relax and enjoy the show. Previously, I would just keep offering my help, whether asked or not. This time round, I really offered very little help and in fact, I was missing from the picture most of the time! Haha. Oh well~

Haha. But, I think, if it wasn't for HIMB, I wouldn't have come to know the Lord today. I would still be as hot tempered as ever. But somehow, it's interesting to know from your juniors that they are not as afraid as you after they come to truly know the person you are. It's really quite heartening to know that. And honestly, I do enjoy spending time with the juniors. But, today, I don't enjoy the company as much, because, I don't really know them now. I didn't spend as much time with them as before, which to me is a pity and is something I did not want. But, oh well, I'm more or less out of the picture.

It's really nice and interesting to see batches after batches leaving and graduating from the band. And, from the day I was a Sec 1 student till now, it's already 10 years. Like, WOW! 10 years in the band! I didn't really expect myself to stay so long! Haha. But, I thank God for all the experience with the band. Many a times when I feel like giving up, God planted words in my heart which allowed me to stay on strong.

But, today, ever since I left, I do not know whether I made a right choice. But, I know, no choice is a bad choice. With God, I can do all things, whether I'm in band or not. Before, I may regret spending so much time in the band. But, today, after looking back, I realised that my stay in the band actually becomes my experiences. How to handle students, how to work with other people, how to teach music, etc. Yes, at times, I hope to return, but let's wait upon the Lord.

Like what my shepherd say, there's too many things for me to handle now. I must take baby step and walk slowly. Well, regarding band, this batch of graduating seniors are very interesting. Let's see how they could further help to edify the band after they leave school officially! =)

My Walk with Christ

I was commenting to a friend that, after reading my previous blog entries, I realised how much I have changed ever since my walk with God. Yes, it may be a short 1 year, 1 month and 2 days (on the day of this blog), but still, I guess, I'm not as bad tempered and as pessimistic as compared to the time I know God.

I remembered how much I dwell in band then, how much time and effort, energy and strength I spent in band that I didn't know what is to lead a life of my own. I didn't know how to enjoy time but only did band stuff again and again, day after day, year after year. While all my friends have left the band, I still stayed on. I was always looking down at myself, finding all ways to get rid of my life. In fact, I did tried to commit suicide before, but failed because I chickened out (THANK GOD!). Not many know about this and now, I feel ashsamed that I even allowed the devil to allow me to do so! Sometimes, when I think back. I don't know whether I should be thankful for those days or to be upset about them.

But honestly, comparing to today, I really feel much happier, filled with JOY. I feel like there's a purpose in my life and it's not all about band. Yes, I may have thoughts of returning to band. But this thought isn't that important to me as compared to before. Today, there's so much I want to do that I do not know which I should be doing! Everything seem good too me, but which is the best? I'm not afraid of sharing my condition with others. In fact, others thought I'm kidding. But, I thank God for it. Perhaps this shows that I'm secure about it, though at times I do feel hurt and pain about it. But, God grew me so much in this areas.

Today, I have God's love overflowing in me. Everyday I wake up thanking God for allowing me to return back to Him. I thank God for being my saviour, my lover. The other day, I was telling my mum, Jesus is my lover, my husband. And now, I still believe in that. No one else compares to Him.

Recently, God showed me many interesting stuff that freaked me out as well as increase my Godly fear of Him. Within the week itself, not only once, but twice, God used people to share with me verse He had reminded me of and He used people to share the same verse to encourage a sister. Honestly, when I first realised that, I was like, "God! I'm sorry I doubted that it was my thoughts and not your promptings!" I was really ashamed of myself. But, I thank God for sending people to take away my blindness.

Many times, I wonder, if I knew God better, would my life be much different. But, I came to a conclusion. If I knew God earlier, I won't be able to go through so much drama till I love Him so much and fear Him so much. I wouldn't have understand Him so much that I want to walk in faith with Him. In fact, I wouldn't be who I am today.

As usual, a verse before ending off. 2 Corinthians 5:17,

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

Today, I want to say, when you choose to accept Jesus into your life, your life will never be the same again. It will become so amazing, so full, so joyful, etc. I'm not saying that as a Christian there's no ups or downs, but I'm saying, it's because we have a saviour now in our life, we could walk this road bravely and strongly because we know that we are not alone. This assurance is not able to be given by anyone except God Himself.

So, my question today, do you have a personal relationship with Him yet? Will you give him a chance?

Purpose

Well well, today's CG was pretty exciting. We got to surveyed people. I guess, NYCA3 pretty happening. Haha. Always alot of INTERESTING activities to do. But, let me just share about what we did.

Today, we did a survey on "Purpose" as this is a subject/topic we are looking into now. So, we went out to the public today to survey people regarding purpose. So, the 2 questions were:

1. When you see the word "purpose", what comes to your mind?
2. What is your purpose in life?
Yup, those were the 2 questions and we went about asking people, stopping anyone we feel we could ask. And, they were people of different age groups and occupations. So, we spent around half an hour going around asking. And finally, we returned back to collate and share our findings. Guess what? We were pretty shocked about the results.

For me, I started to feel sad and burdened for the people as I realised that the main purpose of most Singaporeans we surveyed were for money. The motivation people are having is money. I know we are living in a country of high living standards, but, money as a purpose? I don't mean to judge or whatsoever, but, I believe that there are greater purposes in life rather than just money. Even simply like living life to the fullest would be like so much greater, at least to me.

But, all these surveys got myself thinking. How about myself? What's purpose to me and what's my purpose? Well, to really think about it, purpose to me is the goal of my life. What I wish to achieve before Jesus' returns. As for my purpose, well, for now is to become the kind of teacher God has made me to be so that I could fulfill the Great Commission through the things I'm doing. Personally, after GC, I'm considering of going church planting while teaching overseas. But, let's pray more about it.

Before I end off, a verse came to my mind. Jeremiah 29:11,

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

God has a plan and purpose in creating us and placing us here on earth, in the specific country, area, workplace, etc. we are in. Are we going to live up His plans, His purpose for us? Are we willing to take this step of faith and say, "Yes God, I want to. Use me." I want to be such a person who dedicate my life fully to God. I don't want to be pulled down, I want to stand firm, like a seed on good soil.

So, as a believer or non believer, what's your purpose in life today?

Lord, I need you healing power

Alright, a quick post before I rush out and all. Haha.

"Lord, I need your healing power" is a book by Quin Sherrer and Ruthanne Garlock. This is a book about healing as you notice from the title. Honestly, when my shepherd was telling me that there are some book which shouldn't be read, I was quite scare to pick up the book to read again. But, recently, in fact 2 days ago, I picked it up once more and completed the book just a few hours ago.

I thank God for this book that made me cried many times with the amazing testimonies within the book. The testimonies are so real and so close to my heart that I actually wish I do experience all of the wonders of God regarding healing.

There's a total of 10 chapters in the book and the 10 chapters are all closely linked together. At the beginning of each chapter there would be a pre-introduction and at the end of there would be a prayer which one could follow and say.

To me, this book is very strong and powerful and each individual chapter spoke to me deeply, especially the chapter on "Lord, restore my joy" and "Lord, make me an encourager". It's like, despite in pain, how to be joyful and how despite experiencing all the problems God gave, you can be an encourager. In fact, problems are there so that God could help us overcome and bring glory to His name.

This book, would be good for those who wants to witness healing through others' testimonies. I haven't exactly witness spiritual healing from God, but I do believe in healing from God and awaits excitedly for it to happen to me. God is a just God, He will allow things to happen at the right time.

To end of this post, share a verse. Romans 15:13:

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him. so that you may overflow with hope y the power of the Holy Spirit.

Would just like to encourage all who are experiencing times of trials and tribulations, that GOD is there with you and within all these pain, troubles, sufferings, etc. we, as Christians, are able to find JOY within because we have the HOLY SPIRIT with us. Do not give up hope, for GOD will never give up on us. Remember, no problem is too small for God neither is any problem too big for Him.

I wish you a blessed day. =)

GRAND RETURN!

Haha. I've finally decided to start blogging again. However, this time round, it would be regarding my walk in Christ!

I love Jesus! =)