Training Humans

My Moomie gets SO mixed up! She's old you know, but is that really an excuse? She should be better at following instructions by her age. Do other doggies have trouble training their humans? It's been horrible weather here in Michigan today and my feet got cold. When that happened me's needed to warm them up on Moomie's belly, but when Levi---ever so politely---barked my request to Moomie, she put me outside where my feet get even colder! That happened five or six time. FINALLY, me's got her to understand that Levi needed to sleep on her lap while she did her computer work.

After awhile me's warmed up and decided to play with Mr. Froggie, my new buddy. Did you hear what happened to him? His arm accidentally got caught in my mouth and Levi had to chewed it in half. Moomie sewed him back together but his arm got shorter and put on backward. Why did she do that? Now me's have to chew it off again so she can get it on right
side up.

Levi did make some progress training Moomie, though. Every since my pawrents adopted me we've been having this back and forth argument about where my daytime bed belongs. Moomie wanted in the kitchen next to her computer desk but me would drag it into the living room a million times a day and park it in front of the deck door where there is a great view of the bird feeder. FINALLY, after five months of this Moomie got trained to leave my daybed in the living room. Me's nearly cheered out loud when she told Daady last week that she's going to buy me another daybed for the kitchen. Oh, and those branding irons and old cowboy boots of my daady's---they got moved. Something was said about chewing or knocking things over and hurting myself so Levi now has that sunny corner by the desk all to my self.

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Gold Stars for Good Puppies

Anyone there? Levi has some news. Me's got a new gold star on my 'Good Boy' chart. Well, me don't really HAVE a chart but Moomie pretends that Levi does and she just added a shiny pretend star for OUTSTANDING big boy behavior!

Every since Levi came to live with Moomie and Daady me's been practicing, practicing, practicing like a fire drill in case Daady would fall on the floor. He can't walk, you know. Me didn't really know what that meant to "fall on the floor" but me figured it must hurt like when me rolls off the couch by accident. Anyway, we kept drilling for me to sit-stay out of the 'fall zone' every time Daady transfers in or out of his wheelchair.

Yesterday it happened. Daady fell while trying to sit on his shower bench. It happened so fast! He hit his head and was moaning and acting kind of scary. Moomie was acting all scary, too, checking for blood and trying to pull Daady by the feet so his head could get away from the shower wall. Then she put a pillow under his head and made a telephone call. All this time me was the perfect little schnauzer, still sit-staying out of the fall zone which is right along side of the wheelchair, real close-like to the brake lever should you ever have to learn to do it.

Finally, Moomie scooped me up and put me in the kitchen behind the baby gate. Me's didn't even let out a peep then or when a noisy truck roared up to the house and two guys came inside. Five minutes later two MORE guys came in. Me could hear them all asking Moomie and Daady questions. Daady can't talk much---just one word at a time---but when he said, "Gas" Moomie said, "He fine now. When he starts giving tours of the artwork, he's fine." (The bathroom is decorated with photos of old gas pumps that Daady used to collection.)

Then at night another bad thing happened. The lights went out and they stayed out for four hours. It was getting really cold in the house, too, and me didn't even fight Moomie when she put a winter coat on me. Daady didn't fight when she made him go to bed early either. Poor Moomie. She had quite a time getting Daady out of his electric La-Z-Boy in the dark. She was holding a flashlight in her mouth trying to put the back-up batteries in a thingie. Earlier she had hooked my flashing light on my collar and a clip-on light on Daady's shirt until she got us both where she wanted us to stay until the lights came back on. Moomie said to pretend we're all camping. Me doesn't know what camping is but me's don't think Levi would like it. Anyway, me's got another gold star but it was kind of dumb to get that second one just for not getting lost in the dark. Moomie doesn't seem to know that we doggies can see in the dark. ©

Smell ya later,

Love Levi

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Blood, Pee and Poop Everywhere!

I've hardly had a moment to myself up here at the Rainbow Bridge since I volunteered to help with the dogs in the path of the hurricanes. Those poor dogaroons down there really need what our angel dog team is doing to help calm their fears. It's rewarding work but I feel a little guilty for not being around for my baby brother, Levi. His problem is getting worse.

Levi will be nine months old at the end of the month and he's been housebroke for five of those months but it's been raining a lot where Mom and Dad live and Levi is giving Mom fits about going outside when it's raining and when the dirt in the dog yard is wet. He's even started peeing and popping on the deck. He'll also ask to go out one door and when he finds out it's raining there, he'll run to another outside door and ask to go out, thinking it might not be raining on the other side of the house. Mom has gone back to square one and is sitting outside with him until he goes where he's suppose to go, regardless of the rain on his back or the wet dirt under his paws. He's making progress. This morning he peed on the rubber mat at the bottom of the deck steps and pooped while squatting on my grave stones. That kid has scrambled eggs for brains when it comes to respect for the dead.

Mom's got the right idea about going back to square one, and I'm sure the problem will work itself out, but I did feel sorry for her yesterday. She woke up with Dad saying the S word over and over again. At first she thought he was trying to pull on his pants while Levi was trying to pull them off. But the tone of the word was different this time, not filled with laughter but panic stricken instead. He'd transferred to his wheelchair, cut his foot and had bled all over the carpeting from the bed to the bathroom and Levi was licking it up. Dad is taking a blood thinner so there was a LOT of blood. Mom jumped out of bed---as much as an old person can jump with arthritic joints---to get Dad and the floors cleaned up and to shut Levi out of the master bedroom while she worked. It took a long time and in the meantime Levi pooped and peed in the living room. That was not really his fault given the circumstances but still it wasn't a great way for Mom to start her day.

So tomorrow the carpet cleaners are coming. Between having the blood removed and sanitized—a $95 requirement for "health reasons so says the cleaning company"---and having the floors in three rooms cleaned and the pets stains deodorized that have accumulated since Levi joined the family it will cost Mom $239 total. If I had time, I'd mental telepathy a little humor down to Mom and remind her that puppy stains might be a good reason to get the hardwood floor she wants installed. What the heck, I'll take the time. What's my angel-brother going to do if I show up late for work? Kill me? I'm already dead. ©

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Couch Sitting

Mom has been on her best behavior this week with housebreaking and Levi has followed suit. Yea, home team!

But Mom and Dad have developed a difference of opinion on an important matter in a dog's life: getting on the couch. When she first adopted Levi, Mom decided that he---unlike his brothers and sister before him---would not be allowed up on the furniture. The idea was that Levi could very well out-live Mom and Dad and she wanted to raise a perfectly mannered dog that anyone would welcome into their home (along with the small care allotment already spelled out in their wills).

This week Levi learned how to take a flying leap, landing on the couch. After doing his flyboy trick he plants his little butt down and looks right at Dad sitting close by in his La-Z-Boy as if it's the most natural thing in the world for a puppy to do. Who could resist those almond shaped brown eyes of his? Dad can't. His laughter is
what gives Levi away to Mom. She is yet to see the flying leap since she's usually in the kitchen at her keyboard when it happens.

She's not going to win the couch war and I frankly don't think her heart is into doing so. Today, Levi was even trying to figure out how to crawl over from the couch to Dad's lap. Mom saw him trying this "low-wire act" when she was coming into the living room to see what had Dad all excited. Levi was so pleased with himself that Mom didn't have the heart to protest. So she lifted Levi over to Dad's lap and they both petted him and Levi rolled over on his back so he could get the full Monty treatment. When he got his fill of hands-on love, he couldn't figure out how to jump down to the floor so he got lifted again. As soon as he works out the logistics of getting on and off the La-Z-Boy, which shouldn't take too long, Dad will get a napping partner. Dad will be thrilled and is happy that Mom's resolve in dog training is as solid as marshmallows melting in the sun. ©
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Poor Pooping Levi!

Oh, my God, my mom is ruining Levi! Three nights in a row she got her head lost in her keyboard and completely missed his very weak-but-still-there attempts to use mental telepathy on her. So he did the next best thing a puppy in poop distress could do. He did his job in front of the door. Mom bawled herself out up one side and down the other but if she doesn't learn to pay attention soon poor Levi is going to need a doggie shrink to undo our mother's failings.

To make matters worse, two times in the past few days he's pooped on the deck instead of in the dog yard. That's Mom's fault too. She gave my baby brother too much access to the deck. That deck is huge, wrapping two sides of the house so Dad can take his wheelchair out there from three different rooms of the house. Until last week Mom was limiting Levi to one end of the deck using a lattice work barrier to contain him. But she used that lattice to line the picket fence to keep Levi from doing another Houdini escape.

Too much deck freedom or not, it's not as if my brother wasn't being supervised outside. Sort of. Mom's been faithfully sitting out there with him but when Levi pooped on the deck she was lost in the Marley and Me book. Yup, while reading about the antics and misdeeds of Marley the Labrador retriever our own puppy was having a major melt down because he couldn't find the steps down off the deck to the dog yard. Levi needs to learn to turn his mental telepathy up a notch when he's asking for help and Mom needs to quit being an airhead.

Jason, my angel brother up here with me, says Mom raised three other puppies who turned out just fine and I have to have more faith that she'll shape up before she ends up creating a permanent problem. But I'm wondering if Jason remembers how one-tracked and lost in another world Mom gets when she reading and writing. It's been a long time since he lived on earth with her plus she's seventeen older now.

I also confided in Jason that I'm a little worried Levi might be a tad slow at catching on to how life and bodily functions work. He laughed at that one and reminded me that I was nearly three years old before I figured out farting. Whenever I'd do it I'd take off running as if the devil himself was giving me a rectal exam with his pitch fork. All our canine pals up here the bridge who heard Jason tell that story had a good laugh over that one. ©
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The Cost of Raising a Puppy

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First Year:
422.94---Adoption day costs 4/25/08
048.88---First pet store purchases
078.38---First trip to the vet
050.00---Puppy socialization class fee
012.53---Kong toy and treats
005.59---3rd trip to pet store - Kony toy
013.99---Eagle Holistic puppy food
125.32---2nd Vet appointment, shots and vaccinations
018.01---Colossal playmate duck
337.80---Animal Emergency, hurt paw 5/17/08
009.99---Doggie day pack
004.91---Travel blanket
033.00---Grooming, puppy intro.---bath & pretend haircut
020.00---Dog license 5/20/08
003.49---Rope for training 'come' command
110.00---Obedience class fee
028.51---Bag of dog food and two bags of treats
028.74---Bag of dog food and two bags of treats---again
100.00---Fee for Puppy Obedience 101 class 6/08
004.99---Gadget to clip leash and Levi to stationary objects
041.00---Grooming---haircut, bath and blow dry 6/18/08
007.90---Grooming comb 6/22/08
004.49---Kong football for playing outside
303.74---Neutering, blood work and micro-chipping 7/30/08
006.24---Onsie to wear so he can't pull out his stitches
028.74---Bag of dog food and two bags of treats
006.85---Flea comb for combing schnauzer beard
010.00---graduation day photo, obedience school
022.24---Bag of dog food and untangling comb 8/13/08
021.90---Easy Walk Harness, on line
003.99---Blinker for collar to use at night
110.00---Adult obedience class fee 9/13/08
028.61---Large bag of dog food
010.99---Winter coat
008.99---Pet bath wips
037.80---3 sentinel tablets, flea and heart worm medication
011.67---Squeaker duck and puppy treats 10/5/08
010.00---Homemade dog treats, farmer's market
026.95---Furminator - grooming tool
045.00---Grooming appointment 10/14/08
006.00---Squeaker toy
033.98---Eagle Holistic dog food 10/10/08
010.80---Wellness treats and new stuffie toy
028.61---Large bag of dog food 12/10/08
003.59---Christmas neck scarf
010.98---Small bag of adult dog food to mix with puppy food
020.07---Large frog stuffed toy - 12/31
045.00---Grooming appointment
037.80---3 Sentinel prevention pills 01/03/09
006.98---2 bags of training treats
011.65---Pull toy for Levi's play dates
033.36---Dog food and a $5.99 fleece toy
037.80---3 Sentinel pills 03/03/09
015.49---training pouch for walks
160.60---one year vet check up with shots
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$2,666.88 grand total spent for the first year in our puppy's life. This does not include the hat, bathrobe and two throw rugs Levi chewed up. We also had two cages and a dog bed left over from our previous dog plus assorted leashes and collars that we were able to recycle for Levi's use.

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