Newsworthy Achievement

I have been doing a lot of shopping lately, despite shopping not being in my nature. It’s birthday season in the Common Household, so there’s birthday present shopping.  My jeans got a hole in them so I had to buy another pair.  We’re going to the beach later on this summer, so I had to buy an SPF-50 shirt to protect my skin.  I had to buy, return, and buy bathroom rugs (but that's really another story).  We keep running out of spoons, so I bought more.   In short, I’ve been like Blondie in the comics, coming home with package after package.

Hence this recent conversation:

Me:  Today I went to Big Department Store again, and I saw this thing, which, by the way, I did not buy, and –  ”

Husband:  Whoa!

Son:  Is that a newsworthy achievement?

Husband: Yes, it is!  That is definitely newsworthy.  The staff meeting at Big Department Store tomorrow will focus entirely on the fact that Carolyn The Common Household Mom came into the store and saw something she did not buy.  There will be cries of alarming exclamation of disbelief.  A task force will be formed; markets will rise and fall…. You will learn in time, Son.

Me:  (Sigh.)

But the real newsworthy event this week is that tomorrow is the last day of school for Younger Daughter.  There have been some real challenges for her this year, and I am very proud of her for meeting those challenges with vigor.  On Friday morning, she finally gets to sleep in! (And then, get started on learning that driving manual.)

Beautiful Baking

On Thursday I thought I would make this edible Christmas craft.  It looked so easy.

I tried following the directions, honestly.   Basically this: Lay out the candy canes on a tray. Melt chocolate and put it inside a piping bag or a heavy-duty plastic bag with the corner cut off. Then squeeze the chocolate into the center of the heart shape.

This should have been the clue for me that I should not attempt this:  I do not have a piping bag. 

I melted a few dark chocolate Hershey’s kisses in the microwave, on “very low”.  I had to check it several times because I didn’t want to overcook the chocolate.  After this laborious effort, I put the gloppy chocolate into the plastic bag, and cut the corner off. 

It was very messy getting the chocolate into the candy cane hearts, which kept moving around, but I managed to make two of them.  Then there was a lot of chocolate left inside the bag, but not enough to squeeze out. 

Such a waste of chocolate!  I decided to try making the whole thing in the microwave.  So I set up the candy canes in a heart shape on a plate, then chopped up two chocolate kisses.  I was tired of tending the microwave, so I set it for 2 minutes and went away to do something else on my list.  I ended up with the very likeness of molten lava taking over an innocent Hawaiian town:

  

Sometimes I should leave the baking to professionals.  Today this is what we found at LaGourmandine, in Lawrenceville, a neighborhood of Pittsburgh:

It’s a Buchette de Noel!  A miniature Buche de Noel (Yule log).  I think it is so cute and lovely!

These pastries are so beautiful, they deserve to appear twice.

Clafoutis on the left; Marquise in the front

Also appearing:

Marquise

(Dark chocolate mousse with crème brûlée and crispy caramel)

Clafoutis

Another traditional French Pastry from the Limousin region.

Dessert made of cherries covered with a Flan-like batter.

And here is my To Do List for Friday.  

You can click to embiggen, but trust me, it's a boring list.
Also, it is incomplete.

Such things as “make chocolate candy cane hearts” and “write blog posts” do not appear on the list.  I am continually wracked with guilt that my list never includes “Procure justice for everyone” or "bring about equity in school funding."  I must confess that I seem to be utterly exhausted lately, which I attribute to this season of  “The Hap-Hap-Happiest Time of the Year When Everyone Should be Hibernating But Instead Has Assigned Themselves A To Do List Ten Miles Long.”  

But today I threw the list aside, and the three of us went to Lawrenceville in the rain, to do some Christmas shopping, and to go to the bakery which Youngest Daughter first encountered on a school field trip and has been raving about ever since.  It was a good day, largely because I did not turn anything into lava.

Pre-Thanksgiving PSA

This is a Public Service Announcement.

If it is the day before Thanksgiving, DO NOT text your husband with this message: 

“I’m at the grocery store and I’m planning to get some dish soap, some bread, and some carrots.  If you think of anything else we need, let me know soon.  Bye.”

My husband has a different view of what type and what volume of food should be served before, during, and after Thanksgiving dinner.  Despite the fact that he was at that moment driving home from work, he texted me back (using Siri, I hope) with a Magna-Carta length list:

Husband’s text:

            Nice cheese

            Nice crackers

            Cream cheese, different varieties

            Refried beans

            Little pizza egg rolls

(This is where I began to roll my eyes.)

(By the way, his list was longer, but I have edited it for brevity.)

            Sardines

            Oyster crackers

            Braunschweiger

            Deli roast beef

            Soft drinks

            Two bags of ice

            Pretzels with peanut butter inside

At that, I totally blew my stack.

My text:  Holy smoke.  I am not getting pretzels with pb inside.

He continued, with a bunch of stuff that I already got several days ago.  To his credit they were healthy vegetable and fruits.

Me:  I already have some of those.  But give me a break. We don’t have to consume every item in the store.  Why do we need oyster crackers?

Him:  In case we have lobster bisque.

Other people in the store started wondering why this woman was fuming at her cell phone.  Lobster bisque is not on the menu this month.  By this point I had reached the deli counter, and looked at the nutritional info for braunschweiger.  Braunschweiger does not belong on the Common Household menu, neither at Thanksgiving nor at any other time of year.  About ¾ of it is fat.

Me:  No oyster crackers.  I’m sorry, but you do not qualify for braunschweiger.

By this time I figured he had reached home, and found a full refrigerator of food, all reserved for tomorrow.  Before I left the store I got one last text.

Him:  Are you coming home soon?  I’m hungry.

The thing is, he’s actually right.  Our guests will consume all of it, and probably more.  We really did need some of those things.

P.S.  The real reason I went to the grocery store was to get more Brussels sprouts, because I sensed that 72 of them is not enough for 8 people (we’re having 11 people, but I know 3 of them won’t touch B. sprouts, which is great because it leaves more for the rest of us.)

In conclusion,

BUY MORE BRUSSELS SPROUTS!

I have to go caramelize all these onions.

Garden Purchase Methods

Back in May, we had the task of buying plants for our garden areas…

My husband’s method:

Goes to grocery store. 

Sees plants. 

Says to self, “Oh, these look nice.” 

Buys 3 of each for a total of 9 plants. 

Brings them home. 

Plants them in garden, wherever, or assigns me the task of planting them. 

Total time for his method:  1 hour.

Results: gorgeous.

My method:

Stand outside looking at garden areas.

Make note of which areas get full sun, which have poor soil. 

Shake head at growing weeds. 

Go to garden center. 

Look extensively at plants. 

Check whether plants require full sun/partial shade, do well in poor soil, need acid soil, how long blooms last, if drought resistant.

Consider the color scheme permutations– purple and yellow plants together? white and red together? Does orange fit in somewhere? Be sure to include white.

Decide on which plants to buy.

Buy 9 of each kind for a total of 45 plants.

Bring them home.

Put them outside, and forget about them for a few days.

Spend about an hour deciding which kind of plant goes where.

Rethink the color scheme.

Finally decide to plant them on the one day when it is 85 degrees outside.

Total time for my method: 7 days.

Results: mixed.

Example: 

He got me these plants for Mother’s Day - picked them up at the grocery store.  

I asked what they were called, and he said, “I don’t know.  I just thought they looked nice.”  They didn’t have any labels on them at all.  I took a guess and planted the spiky deep pink ones (on the right in the photo) in full sun areas.  I guessed right – they are called celosia (sounds kind of like a disease) which I learned by buying more of them at a place that cares to label the plants.  The red ones went in a shady area.  I still have no idea what they are, and I feel stupid about that.  I think the name starts with a ‘G’ – Geranium?  Gardenia? Geronimo?

Dress code

Last week my son went on the school band trip.  They went to a beach town, so you know the trip was full of scholarly and serious musical activities.  One of the activities on the band trip was a cruise.  A very scholarly cruise, no doubt.

Before the trip, Son got an e-mail with instructions about the cruise.  He said, “Mom, it says here that appropriate dress for the cruise is ‘slacks and a polo shirt.’  What is that?”

I said, “Slacks are pants that are nicer than cargo pants or jeans.  They don’t have to be as nice as the pants that go with your suit, but if you don’t have anything besides cargo pants you’ll have to take your suit pants.  A polo shirt is a shirt with a collar and three buttons going down.  If you don’t have one, find a shirt with a collar and without words on it.”

Son:  “Why are they called ‘slacks’?”  

I did not have an answer for that, but I said, “Maybe if you washed and ironed a pair of cargo pants that is not all raggedy, they would be sufficient.  Barely.”   This is an unfair request for me to make, because I never iron anything.  It is my 11^th commandment.

I was about to say he should call Dad and ask to borrow a polo shirt, but Son’s next utterance took us in a different direction.  “Can I use the car?”

Me:  “Where will you be going?”

Son: “Around.  Here and there.” 

Me:  “Be back by 5:30 so I can take Youngest Daughter to Hebrew School on time.”

Reader, he went shopping for clothes.  Progress is being made.  Perhaps soon we will be ready to dine with the queen.  Or even take a cruise with the queen!