Hello (=
this will be the last post for a leave of a certain period of absence.
Until then, a few humble words. (=
Thank You to all the friends for the warm messages. you will all be cherished in heart and often [ not tooo often la, siao. XD] thought about. (=
My family, hmm. my turn, i suppose, after my sister's sojourn to australia.They'll be alright.
Since the blog is a self-indulgent [admit it, ye bloggers. no point denying that =p] tool of expression , as so far as it doesnt land you in trouble for whatever you wish to type, then, dear reader, humour me as i go through the simple paces.
i will miss home. as to the extent, let me find out so. it is merely a trip of longer proportions, in all practical terms.
i take it as an opportunity to know God and my own embattered faith. again, how much of an extent is measured in large parts by the individual, so...
there is anxious uncertainty. There is also excitement. there is also a certain amount of sadness in which, if what im typing does not reach you...and only you alone.. then..there is nothing more i can do (=
there is also the internet. -_0
there is also change.
.........
& there are also the taiwanese girls. coughs. ..............heh.
till then, to all whom i care, cherish, love, neglect, taken for granted, abused, confused and so many more for,
God bless you.
I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
but she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually changed
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hand
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me
11 September, 2008
08 September, 2008
Lazy Afternoon
eeNoob slept for awhile this afternoon. (:
I'm a pig!!!!
Oh noes.
Never mind. Soccer later!!!
I'm a pig!!!!
Oh noes.
Never mind. Soccer later!!!
07 September, 2008
Good morning! im happy (; the gum bleeding stopped and the swelling went down (; no Zee its no TTOTM.. you ass. (;
federer shows us why he was no1 for soooo long this early morning battling aside the world no3 Djokovic. His moments of unparalleled magic may wow & thrill the crowd, but what was special was his inability to even give up when Djokovic seemed intent on putting the Federer express on in his tracks . sure, everybody loves a winner but right now, for me, Federer epitomises the undaunted, the self-belief embodiment of an athlete. To keep on going no matter how improbable things may turn out. To clinch victory in his hands. even defeat, wont be a loss because he carved out what he already could., giving everything. for me, its not so much that he kept his invincibility when he was top of the tennis world. its right now, we see him, a human, achieving incredible feats. bravo.
Another piece of news that was particularly touching and inspiring was the opening paralympics. pity the world forgets that we have such outstanding athletes. i refuse to even type handicap because i think, in many aspects, they appreciate and love life, people etc so much more than us able bodied idiots. when i saw that Chinese guy climbing up vertically in his damm wheelchair to lit the paralympic flame ...it just puts a lot of things back into perspective once more. no doubt it moved many to tears.aye suffice to put it i got thoroughly moved. hurray! (;
The human spirit. yesterday was dark and crushing, though calming. this morning in the darkness sport once again, even in its commercial induction, moved me. Like Lord Ferg. with his smile and 3 words..."they can talk" (: football fans will know what im talking about.wheverer the challenges come you just have to accept it.it doesnt change anything.
im at the stage of going through so many self examinations that its no longer an expression of being down in the dumps.not so much like last year. but i think, at the end of this, is a small beam of shinshine.its not really that bright, but..nevertheless comforting.
at this point i want to..express my gratefulness and appreciation to all you pals! & to a certain person, thank you too. i know i probably confused you with my words. hah. i just want you to know how thankful i am, these past few months that you've always been by my side....& i didnt even realsie it! ><>
(: thank you, ci en. you always make me happy and put a smile on my face. (;
federer shows us why he was no1 for soooo long this early morning battling aside the world no3 Djokovic. His moments of unparalleled magic may wow & thrill the crowd, but what was special was his inability to even give up when Djokovic seemed intent on putting the Federer express on in his tracks . sure, everybody loves a winner but right now, for me, Federer epitomises the undaunted, the self-belief embodiment of an athlete. To keep on going no matter how improbable things may turn out. To clinch victory in his hands. even defeat, wont be a loss because he carved out what he already could., giving everything. for me, its not so much that he kept his invincibility when he was top of the tennis world. its right now, we see him, a human, achieving incredible feats. bravo.
Another piece of news that was particularly touching and inspiring was the opening paralympics. pity the world forgets that we have such outstanding athletes. i refuse to even type handicap because i think, in many aspects, they appreciate and love life, people etc so much more than us able bodied idiots. when i saw that Chinese guy climbing up vertically in his damm wheelchair to lit the paralympic flame ...it just puts a lot of things back into perspective once more. no doubt it moved many to tears.aye suffice to put it i got thoroughly moved. hurray! (;
The human spirit. yesterday was dark and crushing, though calming. this morning in the darkness sport once again, even in its commercial induction, moved me. Like Lord Ferg. with his smile and 3 words..."they can talk" (: football fans will know what im talking about.wheverer the challenges come you just have to accept it.it doesnt change anything.
im at the stage of going through so many self examinations that its no longer an expression of being down in the dumps.not so much like last year. but i think, at the end of this, is a small beam of shinshine.its not really that bright, but..nevertheless comforting.
at this point i want to..express my gratefulness and appreciation to all you pals! & to a certain person, thank you too. i know i probably confused you with my words. hah. i just want you to know how thankful i am, these past few months that you've always been by my side....& i didnt even realsie it! ><>
(: thank you, ci en. you always make me happy and put a smile on my face. (;
God, my Good Lord, i come to you in confidence.
Lord teach me courage to change the things i can. & more courage to confront the things i know i cannot.
Lord guide me with your infinite wisdom to tell the difference to change what i can & cannot
Lord with your grace, serenity to what has been done and cannot be undone.
Father, i try, not to give up. no longer how much beating it takes. patience, and love. like a small sapling that eventually grows into a tree. its not how much love we have in the beginning. its how much that keeps us together in the end...and You teach me this constantly. I Thank You.... Lord with your gentle mercy and everlasting love.. i pray this upon everyone. amen.
Lord teach me courage to change the things i can. & more courage to confront the things i know i cannot.
Lord guide me with your infinite wisdom to tell the difference to change what i can & cannot
Lord with your grace, serenity to what has been done and cannot be undone.
Father, i try, not to give up. no longer how much beating it takes. patience, and love. like a small sapling that eventually grows into a tree. its not how much love we have in the beginning. its how much that keeps us together in the end...and You teach me this constantly. I Thank You.... Lord with your gentle mercy and everlasting love.. i pray this upon everyone. amen.
06 September, 2008
fragile lucidity
hello (=
Its speaks echoes, when someone you should trust becomes a person of suspect no matter what they say. that every single word said is received with the insertion of doubt and suspicion. Against every fibre of emotion emitted toward the person lies the seeds of mistrust and deceit. & gentle reader, slow resentment.
its a flaw of my own to expect honesty from anybody. ideally even that comes across as far fetched. when it occurs to a person you thought you can place your love in acts according otherwise- to some, a nasty shock, to me, a dull disappointment- does one dive deeper into cynicism? or does one allow himself to?
reading the blog of the girl, who's boyfriend died in Brunei [ the oct case] & hearing the.......from zee.
i pity, and i almost empathize completely with her. she is strong, but in breavement, she seeks no solace. grief is her friend, though it will offer her no words of comfort. sleep is her ally, though it be brief. how long will she hold, or move on, it is a dark valley she alone will have to traverse. her memories with him, will pull and or push her towards closure or entanglement. that alone. none of us will fully comprehend the extent the abyss that she is in, that she looks at everyday, nor the depth of how abyss looks at her.
still bleeding. it isnt a dark day, despite the content of my post. the rain is lovely, and its sets me asleep in a gentle lullaby. it makes me think, and there is clarity, not chaos.
sometimes, i wish. that you will just come and take me away.
Its speaks echoes, when someone you should trust becomes a person of suspect no matter what they say. that every single word said is received with the insertion of doubt and suspicion. Against every fibre of emotion emitted toward the person lies the seeds of mistrust and deceit. & gentle reader, slow resentment.
its a flaw of my own to expect honesty from anybody. ideally even that comes across as far fetched. when it occurs to a person you thought you can place your love in acts according otherwise- to some, a nasty shock, to me, a dull disappointment- does one dive deeper into cynicism? or does one allow himself to?
reading the blog of the girl, who's boyfriend died in Brunei [ the oct case] & hearing the.......from zee.
i pity, and i almost empathize completely with her. she is strong, but in breavement, she seeks no solace. grief is her friend, though it will offer her no words of comfort. sleep is her ally, though it be brief. how long will she hold, or move on, it is a dark valley she alone will have to traverse. her memories with him, will pull and or push her towards closure or entanglement. that alone. none of us will fully comprehend the extent the abyss that she is in, that she looks at everyday, nor the depth of how abyss looks at her.
still bleeding. it isnt a dark day, despite the content of my post. the rain is lovely, and its sets me asleep in a gentle lullaby. it makes me think, and there is clarity, not chaos.
sometimes, i wish. that you will just come and take me away.
duuuuudes (=
someone's uber shy. =D
not so shy. =D
ta daaaa. & her purse makes an apperance
Zinger (=
ManHunt '09
sleeping position form IVfrom the zen master heng
Ning's meatballs. 8D
salt and caramel tastes surprisingly good. ((=
clarice decides her fave old man was churchill.
pre-ns-oct-2nd left man.
marc shows how to play the guitar one leg standing.
clarice aspires to join NS with the boys
mr pre-ns-oct-2nd lefty in action.
zen of a cat's stare
((=
somebody's unsuitable prezzie
our gain.
wingsum.
yunyee-celebrity cam-er
jehan and her candybar
....
........................05 September, 2008
the little things;
i never thought they mean anything to me.
hello (= the surgery went off pretty well. by the time i woke up i was already wheeled into the rest/hold area where a hilarious [back then. anything was funny] situation happened. i was awake, but so bloody tired, so whenever i fall alseep my heart rate will drop below 60. the machine would scream urgent , loud beeps that woke me up and had the nurses rushign over to switch if off and check on me. repeatedly, so i gave up sleeping and consigned to feel my face--totally numbness. all i could taste was predictably blood.
lost quite a bit of blood. when they took out my first guaze it was thoroughly soaked-crimson no longer aptly described the hue. it was so dark it was almost dyed black-red.it continues to bleed, even at this moment, though no longer so much. inverse to say, for the growing pain. (=
went back home[thank God for a car] and fell asleep. its..actually more dramatic but right now, im too muted/tired/stunted to go into detail. as such its porridge & babyfood for a week.
i feel so stupid.
fool.
all along.
i chose not to see.
all i can offer is a gentle shake of the head and a woeful smile. if theres even such a thing.
foolish. foolish. foolish.
hello (= the surgery went off pretty well. by the time i woke up i was already wheeled into the rest/hold area where a hilarious [back then. anything was funny] situation happened. i was awake, but so bloody tired, so whenever i fall alseep my heart rate will drop below 60. the machine would scream urgent , loud beeps that woke me up and had the nurses rushign over to switch if off and check on me. repeatedly, so i gave up sleeping and consigned to feel my face--totally numbness. all i could taste was predictably blood.
lost quite a bit of blood. when they took out my first guaze it was thoroughly soaked-crimson no longer aptly described the hue. it was so dark it was almost dyed black-red.it continues to bleed, even at this moment, though no longer so much. inverse to say, for the growing pain. (=
went back home[thank God for a car] and fell asleep. its..actually more dramatic but right now, im too muted/tired/stunted to go into detail. as such its porridge & babyfood for a week.
i feel so stupid.
fool.
all along.
i chose not to see.
all i can offer is a gentle shake of the head and a woeful smile. if theres even such a thing.
foolish. foolish. foolish.
hello...
before surgery, a little bit to share.
sometimes the things you thought you'd long forgotten surface.
which is fine until they appear in your dreams.
this particular leaves, i believe, a similar experience. not necessary of loss, but a possible sense of disorientation.
do you know whats it about?
a hint, a vestige, a little left over ember glow of that love.
a love reserved for a certain soul.
i loved you once.
let that be enough.
but i cant help but be reminded, as i have, this morning, how....lovely..
do you remember how it was like?
we were both soaked to the toe.
i stood alone, grinning as i waited for you to make your way; towards me;
in a dejected but still cheerful demeanour.
the way your hair, the way the wet clothing clung to your svelte figure
the way you tied it up..still puts a smile upon my face.
lets go! i said , as you finally reached up to me.
you whispered your plan in a sideway glance.
another sideway glance, that faint, wry smile.
the way the droplets roll down your cheeks, that little babyfats still existent.
how the shinning wetness glistened upron your brows, how you bit your lower lip...
as i stood there, allowing you to catch up, perhaps in pity, perhaps in empathy
not yet in realisation.
as you turned to face me with that silly, sunshine grin even under near twilight skies
another side glance
you held my right hand.
& changed everything.
fingers interlocked, eyes on each other. how then, i knew right away, you already stole my heart right under my nose. in your shy , lovely way that only you, and you alone, know.
how i acted nonchalant,as we ran....inside, the thundering beats just grew louder...
& so i awake this morning, with a smile on my face.
i loved you once. let that be enough.
it might not have gotten to anywhere else had we allowed it to.
a pleasant memory.no more, no less.
in the morning hours of now
my heart beats with a dull, keen ache still.
i loved you once. as did you.
you gave me awesome memories. i hope i gave you some too.
let them rest for good. let them come up, sleeping , into my dreams once in a while. i wont mind.
not if its yours that you made for me. i dont think you would mind either .dont be disturbed by it (=
but let that, be enough.
before surgery, a little bit to share.
sometimes the things you thought you'd long forgotten surface.
which is fine until they appear in your dreams.
this particular leaves, i believe, a similar experience. not necessary of loss, but a possible sense of disorientation.
do you know whats it about?
a hint, a vestige, a little left over ember glow of that love.
a love reserved for a certain soul.
i loved you once.
let that be enough.
but i cant help but be reminded, as i have, this morning, how....lovely..
do you remember how it was like?
we were both soaked to the toe.
i stood alone, grinning as i waited for you to make your way; towards me;
in a dejected but still cheerful demeanour.
the way your hair, the way the wet clothing clung to your svelte figure
the way you tied it up..still puts a smile upon my face.
lets go! i said , as you finally reached up to me.
you whispered your plan in a sideway glance.
another sideway glance, that faint, wry smile.
the way the droplets roll down your cheeks, that little babyfats still existent.
how the shinning wetness glistened upron your brows, how you bit your lower lip...
as i stood there, allowing you to catch up, perhaps in pity, perhaps in empathy
not yet in realisation.
as you turned to face me with that silly, sunshine grin even under near twilight skies
another side glance
you held my right hand.
& changed everything.
fingers interlocked, eyes on each other. how then, i knew right away, you already stole my heart right under my nose. in your shy , lovely way that only you, and you alone, know.
how i acted nonchalant,as we ran....inside, the thundering beats just grew louder...
& so i awake this morning, with a smile on my face.
i loved you once. let that be enough.
it might not have gotten to anywhere else had we allowed it to.
a pleasant memory.no more, no less.
in the morning hours of now
my heart beats with a dull, keen ache still.
i loved you once. as did you.
you gave me awesome memories. i hope i gave you some too.
let them rest for good. let them come up, sleeping , into my dreams once in a while. i wont mind.
not if its yours that you made for me. i dont think you would mind either .dont be disturbed by it (=
but let that, be enough.
03 September, 2008
Harro! intended to update this last night but was caught in an absorbing read of watchmen. Other than that its been the pretty much sedentary civilian lifestyle so once deeply craved and now chucked carelessly with an easy nonchalance. Other than a run and some sucky soccer-more on that in a while- its been pretty much a very quiet period of time. Its enjoyable, because i know its about the only time left i get to slack and rot like this in a near-non consequential manner.
In brief, football yesterday was thoroughly unpleasant because the people we palyed against seem to be more intent on breaking legs. its fine to do it in the name of a mischievous fun but on a regular basis? it wasnt much a challenge either.
Watchmen! ((= its not like the common super-hero storyline, but insteads spins a sombre, sobering tale on the fatal flaws of humanity. yeah, its pretty bleak even as i kinda struggled with reading it in a graphic novel form [ eh, manga IS different kay ((= ] what i like is that like batman, everybodys' flawed. even the watchmen themselves are fully susceptible to mistakes , and the prices they pay last longer-in some instances, unpredictable- to the extent their lives become a torn down husk of their former selves. batman will fit in right here with the emotional anguish and pain, but other that that, i cant think of any other superhero film released thus far to even come close to the bill. then again, watchmen stands proudly alone , redefining the genre- abolishing the thresholds of what makes a a particular form of medium of expression. its highly recommended, but as i fortunately do have the time, do ponder a little. otherwise you'll be left disturbed by the ruthless, and very honest parallels that still exist with that alternate 1985 world in comparsion to ours.
as you busy people will already know by now im super free- hence the news papers reading. two things spring to mind, that is, the clearing up of our food in food courts and the mess we usually make in cinemas [ no some of you. im talking FOOD stuff here. pl0x XD ] ps. though they did find some condoms...o.0! must be the wee early morning shows. i hope. BUT the main point is, yeah, made me a lil ashamed of myself of the former. i mean, in army we're taught to return what we use, so why cant i do it in food courts or fast food areas? dont give me the bullshit its part of the cleaner's job scope. i dont remember dogs' poo being cleaned up by estate cleaners. i dont recall that you can whore items and them throw them away. bullshit. booo me too. ))= i resolve to make a conscious effort to return my trays and be courteous by saying thank you to the cleaners. not for the show of it but because i appreciate it. its NOT easy, clearing up the mess of so many people in so little time. next time, before you leave the place, think, of the mess before your eyes that you, my dear non-artistically intentionally inclined, no how you plan to clean up the table [oh be a spot, would you, stop all those self-masturbatory, divine thoughts -of -a-man/woman-on-a-mission-to-complete-his/her/it-tasks for once =p ] and then proceeed with the next 10. imagine picking up the spitted bones on the greasy table. and thats if you're lucky ((=
as for th e cinemas....so how? booo. got me chuckling when i read a comment of a lady saying that the people should have at least the decency to sweep the popcorn off the chairs. my dear stupid girl, i think you miss the point of it all entirely. we eat, like pigs. we consume, worse than pigs. pretty much unbecoming. sweep it off? nah. why dont you use it for tiny ballistic missiles to anyone who either, uses the phone, or becomes a film narrator, or , loves to make farty noises like you? ((= Heres a thought, why cant we just carry out our own crap and then dump into thrash bags provided by the attendants [ hey, one step at a time =p. self-reliance is an alien concept to us] so we'll make things easier. maybe 30 years down the road one of our spawn will realise that its his/her/its responsibility to bring their own crap and find a bin to dump it into. not the nursery nanny style his/her/its not very smart predecessors were subjected to.
fun over.
thats not much to post, not no a weekday----indulging in much free time. oh. back burner bummer. ((+
errr. simple enough..actually.
i love you?
hmmm.....
yeah i guess pretty much thats what on my mind.
I, love you. (=
i think.
In brief, football yesterday was thoroughly unpleasant because the people we palyed against seem to be more intent on breaking legs. its fine to do it in the name of a mischievous fun but on a regular basis? it wasnt much a challenge either.
Watchmen! ((= its not like the common super-hero storyline, but insteads spins a sombre, sobering tale on the fatal flaws of humanity. yeah, its pretty bleak even as i kinda struggled with reading it in a graphic novel form [ eh, manga IS different kay ((= ] what i like is that like batman, everybodys' flawed. even the watchmen themselves are fully susceptible to mistakes , and the prices they pay last longer-in some instances, unpredictable- to the extent their lives become a torn down husk of their former selves. batman will fit in right here with the emotional anguish and pain, but other that that, i cant think of any other superhero film released thus far to even come close to the bill. then again, watchmen stands proudly alone , redefining the genre- abolishing the thresholds of what makes a a particular form of medium of expression. its highly recommended, but as i fortunately do have the time, do ponder a little. otherwise you'll be left disturbed by the ruthless, and very honest parallels that still exist with that alternate 1985 world in comparsion to ours.
as you busy people will already know by now im super free- hence the news papers reading. two things spring to mind, that is, the clearing up of our food in food courts and the mess we usually make in cinemas [ no some of you. im talking FOOD stuff here. pl0x XD ] ps. though they did find some condoms...o.0! must be the wee early morning shows. i hope. BUT the main point is, yeah, made me a lil ashamed of myself of the former. i mean, in army we're taught to return what we use, so why cant i do it in food courts or fast food areas? dont give me the bullshit its part of the cleaner's job scope. i dont remember dogs' poo being cleaned up by estate cleaners. i dont recall that you can whore items and them throw them away. bullshit. booo me too. ))= i resolve to make a conscious effort to return my trays and be courteous by saying thank you to the cleaners. not for the show of it but because i appreciate it. its NOT easy, clearing up the mess of so many people in so little time. next time, before you leave the place, think, of the mess before your eyes that you, my dear non-artistically intentionally inclined, no how you plan to clean up the table [oh be a spot, would you, stop all those self-masturbatory, divine thoughts -of -a-man/woman-on-a-mission-to-complete-his/her/it-tasks for once =p ] and then proceeed with the next 10. imagine picking up the spitted bones on the greasy table. and thats if you're lucky ((=
as for th e cinemas....so how? booo. got me chuckling when i read a comment of a lady saying that the people should have at least the decency to sweep the popcorn off the chairs. my dear stupid girl, i think you miss the point of it all entirely. we eat, like pigs. we consume, worse than pigs. pretty much unbecoming. sweep it off? nah. why dont you use it for tiny ballistic missiles to anyone who either, uses the phone, or becomes a film narrator, or , loves to make farty noises like you? ((= Heres a thought, why cant we just carry out our own crap and then dump into thrash bags provided by the attendants [ hey, one step at a time =p. self-reliance is an alien concept to us] so we'll make things easier. maybe 30 years down the road one of our spawn will realise that its his/her/its responsibility to bring their own crap and find a bin to dump it into. not the nursery nanny style his/her/its not very smart predecessors were subjected to.
fun over.
thats not much to post, not no a weekday----indulging in much free time. oh. back burner bummer. ((+
errr. simple enough..actually.
i love you?
hmmm.....
yeah i guess pretty much thats what on my mind.
I, love you. (=
i think.
01 September, 2008
eeNoob
Hahahaha! yes yes, im mr eenoob (=
said goodbye to everyone at stagmont.
most wont be around when i come back.but its a good thing. ord loh!
yesterday was throughly pleasant.
i miss the laughters, easy, pleasant company in ah peh's place [ eh, seriously, you resemble a uncle at the coffeeshop totally D= ]
tomorrow, a lengthy post!
said goodbye to everyone at stagmont.
most wont be around when i come back.but its a good thing. ord loh!
yesterday was throughly pleasant.
i miss the laughters, easy, pleasant company in ah peh's place [ eh, seriously, you resemble a uncle at the coffeeshop totally D= ]
tomorrow, a lengthy post!
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