I can't take all the credit but I did choose him

I was 23 years old when I married him and now on our 23rd anniversary, I love him even more than I did way back then. 

"I feel good with my husband: I like his warmth and his bigness and his being-there and his making and his jokes and stories and what he reads and how he likes fishing and walks and pigs and foxes and little animals and is honest and not vain or fame-crazy and how he shows his gladness for what I cook him and joy for when I make him something, a poem or a cake, and how he is troubled when I am unhappy and wants to do anything so I can fight out my soul-battles and grow up with courage and a philosophical ease. I love his good smell and his body that fits with mine as if they were made in the same body-shop to do just that. What is only pieces, doled out here and there to this boy and that boy, that made me like pieces of them, is all jammed together in my husband. So I don’t want to look around any more: I don’t need to look around for anything."

—Sylvia Plath

Twenty-two years ago today

Today's weather is not as extreme as it was 22 years ago when I married my Other Half at my parent's farm. It rained, hailed, thundered and lightning lit up the sky and I remember it as perfect. But if I were to do it all over again (and who wouldn't?) there would be a few minor changes like a significantly smaller dress, less pouffy hair and I wouldn't make my bridesmaids wear those awful bows in their hair and I wouldn't have had a great big one on my bum. But I definitely wouldn't change the man I was smart enough to marry at the tender age of 23 and I have to admit that I don't know what I'd say if one of my sons wanted to get married that young.

Flirting and Firemen

I have been thinking a lot lately about flirting. I have been feeling like it would be nice to have someone other than the wonderful man with whom I sleep notice me. I already know that he loves and wants and needs me and I know how lucky I am to have him and to love, want and need him back but there is something about flirting with a stranger or even an acquaintance that adds a little bit of excitement to a wife and mother of three's life. But indulging in that thrill can be dangerous and I am not sure that I amactually cut out for living on quite that much of the edge. Call me chicken but I have flown solo a couple of times lately while my Other Half was away and one night in particular my friend ended up being picked up at the bar by a boy who was, at most, half our age. Not my idea of fun especially as he interrupted some female bonding, a rare opportunity for two mothers of three children each. The last thing we needed was a boy coming between our in-depth discussion of What Not To Wear at the Oscars and whether you really have to change the sheets every time a kid throws up in bed. (My rule is that if it's more than once during the night they can sleep on a towel)

The second time was at our ski club's annual Ladies Day, a bit of a drink and dance-fest for women only. This year the ladies who were in charge and who are a good decade younger than our bunch brought in a team of firefighters who were there to serve drinks and hawk their fundraising calendars. They seemed like a nice bunch of guys who had already raised a lot of money for various charities and we had fun when Pete, one of the older (he was 47) guys, joined us on the far reaches of the hill for fresh tracks (one of the best things about Ladies Day is that most of the ladies are too worried about getting helmet head and don't bother to ski at all, leaving the snow for us diehards) But when the show began it got embarrassing for all concerned. In the past we have had a country & western caller and learned to line dance; a bevy of belly dancers who tried to teach us to wiggle our hips and one year we even donned togas and went back to our sorority days but this year it was all about the firemen's talent. One guys "played" a keyboard behind a screen with the "look Ma, no hands" approach. Gross. Another one danced around to "Save a Horse, Rise a Cowboy." Tacky. Now these guys apparently really were firemen, not Chippendales dancers and I think most of them were as embarassed as we were. Well, as some of us were. It seems I might have been one of the few to find it all a little sad. I wish I had taken pictures of the 50 year old plus women jostling themselves into position to dance with these guys. Their perfectly botoxed features actually showing some emotion as they frantically tried to get the men's attention. It was a frightening sight to say the least.

Here we are - protecting Pete.

As for the flirting? Well, I think our friend Pete saw our bunch as a safe haven from the pelvis-grinding mob. He would retreat over to the corner where we were all dancing together to catch his breath and pull up his suspenders (they started out in full firefighting gear) since we were no threat to him and he was no threat to us old married-types. I was only sorry that my best friend who is single had decided not to join us this year since I have never been able to set her up with anyone (living in the smug-married world that I do) and Pete was, in the brief time we hung out with him, worth a second look and maybe even a drive to the suburbs where his hall is located.

So I think, as much as I like the idea of flirting, in reality I will stick to flexts (flirty texts) with my Other Half which we started while he was away and seem to be continuing now that he is back at home. Much more fun and who knows what they might lead to after the kids are asleep ...

I've fallen in love all over again

The Old Married Couple

My IRL friend Kelly is battling cancer and has a great blog called Kicking Cancer Ass in which she chronicles the ups and downs of her treatment, wigs and even a kitchen renovation. Her last post included these words and really puts things in perspective for me as I get overwhelmed by kids, work and stuff.

This new cancer club that I have joined reluctantly has had its pros and cons;

You know the cons, I'll try and focus on some of the pros.... Once you are in, it is very difficult to get out.

The members are really supportive. "Seize the Day" and "Live for the moment" take on a whole new meaning.
You look at your friends and family in a whole new light; They are truly amazing.

And finally, I've fallen in love with my husband all over again - I'm not sure how I could have got through this without him...he's awesome

My Other Half and I have been together since I was 16, give or take a few interludes during the university years and after all that time I try very hard not to take this wonderful man I was smart enough to marry for granted. But even after all these years he can still surprise me. He has been on the road for the last two weeks so last Monday I flew down to Boston to spend three days helping him out at the Boat Show. If anyone has worked a trade show you know how unbelievably boring it is to stand around a booth for 8 to 10 hours a day trying to make eye contact with passers by so that you will have someone to talk to thus making the time go by faster. But when you do reel in a potential customer they might turn out to be one of those "Looky Loos" who have no intention whatsoever of buying a boat, they just want to tell you all about the one they are building in their garage and which cost them half of your custom-made, professionally-built boats.

But back to surprises. Now despite the fact that my Other Half is not exactly technologically savvy he has embrace the art of texting and it is kind of fun getting late night and early morning "thinking of you texts." And while they weren't technically "sexts" they did have me wondering what he was up to. Well, Monday I went straight from the airport to the show and endured six hours of boredom while trying to steal a quick hug and kiss despite his aversion to any form of PDA. After the show closed at 8 o'clock we had dinner downtown at Scollary Square before heading back to his bachelor pad in a suburban all suites hotel. There, he had stocked the fridge with Prosecco, my favourite triple cream cheese and homemade chocolate dipped strawberries! Yes, he had bought Hershey's kisses, melted them and dipped the strawberries himself. Unfortunately after the delicious lobster mashed potatoes and steak at the restaurant I couldn't eat another bite but we were able to continue on with the rest of his romantic plans. He had asked me to bring our travel Scrabble game and we ended up laughing ourselves silly trying to make up erotic words. Probably not what the writers of whatever blog or website where he found the idea intended but for an "old married couple" it was a wonderful evening on all counts.

The next day we hit the Convention Centre floor again and decided instead of going out to dinner that night we would take home some sushi and dip into the Prosecco and strawberries. We watched a couple of Sex in the City reruns (he likes chick flicks too) and then enjoyed the privacy of a hotel room with no chance of being interrupted by either a dog or child. Bliss.

Young, Footloose and Fancy Free Couple

Now it's back to reality with children, homework, hockey games and ski races. But only two more sleeps until he's back so I might have to do a little exploration myself of websites for Old Married Couples, although I'll try to avoid the ones that suggest greeting your spouse at the door encased in plastic wrap.