HOW TO DRIVE A BEAR CRAZEE

Really, it's simple.

All you have to do is mess with the spring weather.

Tuesday: Blizzard. Snow coming down so fast, I couldn't see the river, which is only 100 yards/metres from the apartment my cave. Heavy, wet snow.

Wednesday: Sunny, but cool. Temperatures below freezing. Where the sun was shining on the roads, melting, then turning icy. Water running in the streets in a few places.

Thursday: Combination of sun and cloud. Temperature to -6°C (21F). Streets a bit wet, often icy.

Friday (today): Mixture of sun and cloud. Temperature of about 5°C (40F). A little rivulet of water running into my cave where I was trying to do some late-winter hibernating. Running into my cave and on to my head. Lots of water running in the streets, making everything splashy, and messy, and yucky.

Best description of the situation (in Bearspeak): @$%#^*&%^@#$**

Or just, "Sigh!!"

And, no, I didn't get to hibernate. Not this winter. Not at all.

§                §                §

Some of you may recall that this time, a year ago, Bear was in hospital very briefly. My faithful companion, Her Ladyship, Miss Sadie, was trying to look after things for me. Things had gone from bad to worse. My mental and physical pain had become un-Bear-able. Even suicidal (thought Miss Sadie didn't tell you that last year).

This week, I've been back in that same un-Bear-able position. With no Miss Sadie to look after things for me.

This year, I have not been hospitalized. Fortunately. I have had a completely horrid time, and I'm not out of it yet. But at least I have not been hospitalized. I did not, and I do not, expect things to get that bad this year. It's a different year, and I have different resources available to me. Some things are better. In particular, I'm developing a better way of living with this ongoing, nagging, physical pain. YES!!!

IN WHICH BEAR GOES IN FOR A CHECK-UP AND LEARNS . . .

that he is more or less healthy. Despite all the aches and pains.

Terrible weather here — up around O°C (32F). Snow and ice, in the sun, melting. Water sneaking down into Bear's den. Bear, wet, cold, and dirty — also unhappy. (I should have known better than to lie in that position.)

One of the things I usually do is go see my doctor — er, um, vet — when I come out of hibernating. Only this year it's going to be earlier than usual. Much earlier.

On the plus side, there were some berries left over from last fall, hanging on trees. I had a quick snack on the way.

Vet gave me a good going over. My heart is fine; my blood pressure is up a bit (from all this non-hibernating non-sense). Eyes are fair. Ears are good. Nose is excellent, as usual (we Bears make our way around the forests, grasslands and waterways via our noses, since we can't see much at all). Paws are good; claws are a mess, and will have to be sharpened before spring.

But what about this annoying, restless, yearning that keeps me from getting a good winter's snooze? Vet says she can't help me. "It's all weather-related," she says. "Go have a swim in an icy pond," was her suggestion, "then try to get some rest." Right. Sure. But at least she didn't tell me to go and soak my head, or something like that.

"In fact," she continued, "a whole lot of Bears have been coming in early, both the americanus and the arctos horribilis types. Vet predicts there will be an outbreak of generalized grumpiness among Bears in the spring. Great. Just great! Yearlings will be acting up more than usual, picking fights with everybody. Somebody might get hurt, for nothing. (Sigh!) Meaning I will spend a lot of my time trying to calm things down. And the americanus crew — black, brown, cinnamon, whatever colour — will be pushing the habitat boundaries into our area. Drat them anyhow!

A warm winter followed by a hot-blooded spring. I'm getting too "advanced in years" for this stuff. Pretty soon they're going to start calling my Jerry (as in Jerry Atric). And you Humans think you've got it tough with shovelling snow and scraping windows. Hrumf! Grrr!

OK. So, I'm going to try to get back to hibernating. But, well, you know, I really don't feel like sleeping. To tired to do things; too awake to sleep. You ever have that problem?

See you in spring, perhaps.

IN WHICH BEAR WAKES UP IN MID WINTER . . .

. . . because it way too HOT. We've had temperatures around the freezing point — sometimes just above, sometimes just below. When you're living inside a heavy Bear coat, it's too hot to sleep comfortably. Sort of like having seven wool blankets on your bed on a hot mid-summer's night.

Also, after about six weeks in the computer hospital, my computer is working again. It's not working entirely right, but well enough that I can send this message to you. They didn't have the heart to charge me for all the work they had done, but I gave them money for their first hour's work. (Hey, this is a local business; one has to support local enterprise, or it disappears.)

Anyhow, I also have several thousand e-mail message in my box (and spilling out all over the floor in our apartment). It may take a while (I would expect no more than six months) for me to get back to you, so please be patient.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Delightful Kwanza, Happy Hanukkah, Joyous Yule, or whatever you may have been celebrating in the last few weeks.

Yup, that's about it. There are a lot of delightful smells around here; I must go and investigate.

Ciao for niao. Blessings and Bear hugs, too.

IN WHICH WINTER ARRIVES BEFORE BEAR STARTS HIBERNATING

Well, the weather is getting cooler. When I woke up this morning, I thought it was cold and a bit foggy.

Not so.

Behold! The former site of occupy Saskatoon.

 

Truth is the tent-dwellers have moved to a more sheltered location.

But, as you can see, much of the city has disappeared. I need to go and find it.

If I'm gone too long, please send the St. Bernards out for me! I may be lost.

BEWARE! A BEAR!

Couldn't sleep much longer. Too bright; too warm. Winter is waning.

Had to give my head a shake several times, and try to figure things out. And make sure I don't open my eyes too wide, too quickly.

OK. First things first.

No Sadie. That's a bit of a shock. She's got a new home, and she's happy there. The first night, she waited for me to come pick her up, and bring her here. But she was finally coaxed indoors, where she found her old bed, climbed in, and slept soundly. Very soundly. All downhill from here, as she frolics with her sister, Willow. (Unless the coyotes get her.) Banish that thought.

Also walked right into the middle of a moving process. As in decamping here, and moving to a spot with a clear overview of our city's downtown area. Strange; what's the difference among overlook, oversight, and overview? Can any of you literate bloggers provide some differentiation about the meanings of words which seem so similar.

Speaking of which, a word of appreciation to the Editorial Committee, which looked after things between Sadie's departure and my return.

Now that I'm up, I should try to get myself looking presentable; please Bear with me in that.

FOLLOW UP ON * * * (cannot be translated)

Bear has retuned to his den. He and I both agreed that weather in the -20°C range, with lots of snow, is just not warm enough to end hibernating. (By time he and I had convinced him of the wisdom in that plan, he looked very relieved!)

Besides, there's nothing out here for him to eat. Except me, perhaps.

Moving on.

Before he left, Bear and I had a "heart to heart" conversation about Some Really Very Important Things. I'll share some of that with you, presently.

* * * (cannot be translated)

Grontf . . . snork . . . shuffle, yawn . . . streeeeeeeeeetch.

OK; who turned on the light in my den?

Oh, wait. That's not a light; that's the sun! 

It's glistening on the snow.

Ooooohh! Bright! I need sun glasses.

Maybe I should find Sadie and figure out that's happening here. I'll have to turn around and look the other way.

Ah; that's better! Things seem to be about right.

Sadie! Hmmmm. Saaaaaaaaadie!

Ah, here she comes. I can hear her coming. Now I'll find out what's happening.

Ooooohh, have I ever got a headache! Maybe I overslept.

PLUNDERED!! PILLAGED!!

 Bear's beloved Mountain Ash tree was stripped bare today by a marauding band of ravenous Bohemian Waxwings.

The foraging flock, numbering perhaps a hundred birds,

attacked the tree about 3:30 p.m. local time, 

wave, upon wave, upon wave. 
(Here is a close-up of one.)

By 3:45, only  a few scavengers could be seen,

cleaning up the few remaining berries on the ground.

The activity of the Bohemian Hoard had been reported 

in the local newspaper earlier. 

The onslaught was not unexpected.

J, our  Bear's  beloved spouse, quickly grabbed her camera, clicking photo after photo, mute witness to the onslaught. 

And where was Bear during the melee?

Hibernating in his Den. 

Proving once again that, "you snooze; you lose."

But he'll be delighted by the pictures when he wakes up. 

Very delighted.

After all, it was for events like today's that he planted 

the Mountain Ash in the first place. 

His simple goal — to attract Waxwings.

Report by Sadie B.; photography by J.B.

WAKE-UP CALL

Try to picture this in your mind.

Bear is sitting on his bed in a motel room. He is talking on the telephone.

"Hello, Front Desk? This is Bear in room 113. I'd like to leave a 'Wake-up Call' for mid-March."

And that's the way it is in cold and snowy Canada.

HIBERNATION TIME.

I've finally got a very melancholy Bear back into his den. Upset Bear, really. Too many difficult things going on.

Next time I won't wake him if something goes wrong, like the shooting of Rep. Giffords. He's really not coping well with a lot of things this year.

Time to let sleeping Bear lie.

FINALLY!

Having celebrated the ancient/new coming of the "Partridge in a pear tree," . . .

IT'S HIBERNATION TIME!

Bear is going to sleep;

please do not disturb!

I'm rejoicing because

my world has calmed down enough

that I can get a

decent winter's snooze.

I'll see you in the spring

(or on a really nice winter's day,

if I wake up).
   

Please don't worry.

The intrepid and ever-faithful

Miss Sadie (Her Ladyship)

will be standing guard, as always.

Should anything calamitous

or thrilling occur,

she knows where to find me,

and will alert me

to the development.

What I do will depend on how awake

and mentally competent I am
(things which are always questionable
where the Bear is concerned).
 

TTFN.

P.S.: If you haven't see the amazing art work I received as Christmas presents,

please see the previous post.

WHEN IN DOUBT, . . . (3)

The day dawned grey and cold,
sunless,
hoar frosted trees barely visible
in the ice fog;
- 10°C, with a wind chill
almost double that.
"Socked in" as 
the old tyme flyers would say.

By lunch time
Miss Sadie was vocally bored,
and insisted on playing
in the fresh winter air.

And so we did.

Her frozen toy
stung my hands.
Even Her Ladyship
found it cold in her mouth.
Undeterred,
she ran to wherever it landed,
and galloped it back —
a flowing keyboard
of black on white
in the frigid yard.

While overhead,
the gutter ravens,
having moved south for the winter,
cried to one another.

Now, Sadie calmly sleeps
in her favourite chair,
by the warm stove,
awaiting another run,
latter on, perhaps,
not knowing the forecast
is for freezing rain,
which will make everything
treacherous,
for travel,
or even play
in our sanctuary.

WHEN IN DOUBT, . . . (2)

Winter. 
Well below freezing.
White upon white,
breath borne on the gentle breeze
above the snow.

Black Sadie running on her well-worn trails;
the stark counterpoint
to the surrounding snow mantle,
forever ready to chase her toy
one more time —
wheeling about,
checking like a hunter,
then leaping like a deer
with the joy of her "find."

All within the sanctuary
of our wind-shielded
back yard,
on a very low day.

HIBERNATION TIME

The Bear is sleeping;

please do not disturb!

I'll be back by spring,
if not sooner.