I'm too tired to write anything...decorating and 10 five year old girls and 2 hours of entertaining them has wiped me out. I will actually write more tomorrow!
Monday, January 24, 2011
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Ella was on a snake kick...
It's 5:40am when I am awakened by Ella repeatedly and excitedly telling Grace to get back on her bed. She sounded frantic and I went to investigate. As I opened the door, Ella is kneeling on her bed with her blanket wrapped around her with a look of panic on her face.
"There's a snake under Grace's bed!" she yells. Now under normal circumstances, I would just say "Yeah, right!" and tell her to go back to sleep, but last July there was a snake in the house and I'm super paranoid that another one or some other creature will make an appearance in the house once again. I tell Grace to get back up on her bed, take a deep breath, brace myself and turn on the light. As I'm about to drop to my knees to be face to face with a slimy, slithery snake, Ella sighs and says "Oh never mind, it's just a belt. I really thought it was moving and looking at me with it's eyes!" I sigh too and tell everyone to go back to sleep (which might I add, didn't happen!)
Later that night, Robert and I were talking to the girls about a trip to Lake Powell. Robert mentioned that there were snakes in the desert that they would have to be aware of. That began a discussion of what to do if they encountered a snake.
"Just stop and then back slowly away." I state. "When you are a little away, turn and run." With this you can see the wheels in Ella's head turning. She contemplates this for a moment and then asks, "Should I look it in the eyes or not?"
Good question, Ella! I'll have to get back to you on that. ;)
"There's a snake under Grace's bed!" she yells. Now under normal circumstances, I would just say "Yeah, right!" and tell her to go back to sleep, but last July there was a snake in the house and I'm super paranoid that another one or some other creature will make an appearance in the house once again. I tell Grace to get back up on her bed, take a deep breath, brace myself and turn on the light. As I'm about to drop to my knees to be face to face with a slimy, slithery snake, Ella sighs and says "Oh never mind, it's just a belt. I really thought it was moving and looking at me with it's eyes!" I sigh too and tell everyone to go back to sleep (which might I add, didn't happen!)
Later that night, Robert and I were talking to the girls about a trip to Lake Powell. Robert mentioned that there were snakes in the desert that they would have to be aware of. That began a discussion of what to do if they encountered a snake.
"Just stop and then back slowly away." I state. "When you are a little away, turn and run." With this you can see the wheels in Ella's head turning. She contemplates this for a moment and then asks, "Should I look it in the eyes or not?"
Good question, Ella! I'll have to get back to you on that. ;)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
11 years
I can't sleep. I'm tired but can't will my mind into slowing down and shutting off. On Saturday, it's been 11 years since my dad died. It seems like a million years ago but also not that long ago all at the same time. I can't tell how much I miss him. There are so many times that I wish that we had had the chance to continue more of an adult relationship that we had just begun. I am so grateful for the choice I made to come back home when we found out he was sick again. I had turned 20 just barely a month before he died. I spent a lot of time with him those last few months that I wish I had taken even more advantage of. We spent a lot of time driving to Dr's appts. or just home that I wish I had asked him more about everything.
He set such a good example of so many things to me. I was 9 when they found the brain tumor the first time. I was old enough to remember a lot about my dad before he was sick. He was in the Army. He was always on the go. I remember him running, swimming, biking and working in the yard. I remember the way he polished his boots. Silly things like that was he used to be the tickle monster and I used to think if my mom and Ashlee would yell "Super" loud enough, I would be able to get super strength to out wrestle him and get the better of him in the tickling department. I always knew that he loved us and would do anything for us.
After he got sick, he set an example of how far a good attitude and hard work could get you. Looking back now, I know there were so many things that he did even when he didn't feel well or when he was tired. He continued to work hard to support us. He was a very involved dad. He always supported us in the things we wanted to do. He expected big things from us. When I came home from Provo, I decided to enroll at Ricks. He was proud of me going to school and even in the last few days when he wasn't always coherent, one of the last things he asked me about was school. He wanted to make sure I had done well that past semester. I wish he could have been there when I got the letter telling me I had earned a full scholarship for my grades. I can imagine how proud he was.
The one thing I will never forget my dad telling me was to "make it a good day." That always reminded me, and still does, that I have a choice as to whether it will be a good day or a bad one....It's up to me. He set an amazing example of that. A couple of months before he died, we were asked by the Church to take part in a special survey they were doing. I was helping my dad fill his out. They asked a series of questions to which you would answer on a scale of always, most of the time, sometimes, or never. One of the questions was "How often are you happy?" He answered most of the time. He was suffering from severe headaches, siezures, and was losing some of his ability to control his body and yet he was truely happy most of the time. I honestly don't remember hearing him complain.
I know that my dad fulfilled the mission here on this earth that he was sent to do. Some of my strongest knowledges and convictions in my beliefs and testimony, came about due to experiences I had surrounding my dad's illness and death. I know that there is a life after we die. That our families are truely forever. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. I will never forget the feeling of love and peace that was in the room the night before my dad died. I know that the Holy Ghost is real. Our Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to go through these things alone. We are given the strength, comfort, and peace to handle those difficult things we each face in this life if we will but ask. Although, those are some of the hardest times in my life, I'm grateful everyday for the knowledge I gained from those experiences.
I am lucky to have had such a great example.
He set such a good example of so many things to me. I was 9 when they found the brain tumor the first time. I was old enough to remember a lot about my dad before he was sick. He was in the Army. He was always on the go. I remember him running, swimming, biking and working in the yard. I remember the way he polished his boots. Silly things like that was he used to be the tickle monster and I used to think if my mom and Ashlee would yell "Super" loud enough, I would be able to get super strength to out wrestle him and get the better of him in the tickling department. I always knew that he loved us and would do anything for us.
After he got sick, he set an example of how far a good attitude and hard work could get you. Looking back now, I know there were so many things that he did even when he didn't feel well or when he was tired. He continued to work hard to support us. He was a very involved dad. He always supported us in the things we wanted to do. He expected big things from us. When I came home from Provo, I decided to enroll at Ricks. He was proud of me going to school and even in the last few days when he wasn't always coherent, one of the last things he asked me about was school. He wanted to make sure I had done well that past semester. I wish he could have been there when I got the letter telling me I had earned a full scholarship for my grades. I can imagine how proud he was.
The one thing I will never forget my dad telling me was to "make it a good day." That always reminded me, and still does, that I have a choice as to whether it will be a good day or a bad one....It's up to me. He set an amazing example of that. A couple of months before he died, we were asked by the Church to take part in a special survey they were doing. I was helping my dad fill his out. They asked a series of questions to which you would answer on a scale of always, most of the time, sometimes, or never. One of the questions was "How often are you happy?" He answered most of the time. He was suffering from severe headaches, siezures, and was losing some of his ability to control his body and yet he was truely happy most of the time. I honestly don't remember hearing him complain.
I know that my dad fulfilled the mission here on this earth that he was sent to do. Some of my strongest knowledges and convictions in my beliefs and testimony, came about due to experiences I had surrounding my dad's illness and death. I know that there is a life after we die. That our families are truely forever. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us. I will never forget the feeling of love and peace that was in the room the night before my dad died. I know that the Holy Ghost is real. Our Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to go through these things alone. We are given the strength, comfort, and peace to handle those difficult things we each face in this life if we will but ask. Although, those are some of the hardest times in my life, I'm grateful everyday for the knowledge I gained from those experiences.
I am lucky to have had such a great example.
2 Timothy 4: 6-9
"For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth, there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me."
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
A promise is a promise!
I'm writing this to keep up my end of the bargin...I promised I would blog something if Ashlee would. She always writes things that are much more interesting than I do. I have a lot of things that I want to write about but seem to have blogger block.
Today I was a bad mom and let Ben wear the shorts he's been begging to wear to school today. Then I put jackets on my little girls and they promptly took them off to only wear their short sleeved hoodies. I then decided to throw caution to the wind and wear only a short sleeved shirt and my jeans rolled into capris. It was 31 degrees (although, in my defense, we should just make it to 50 degrees today and lets face it....that is short weather) and we still have a foot of snow in the yard but Sprinter is playing games and I decided I was in and playing. Bring on the snow that I know will happen at least once more this year.....I'm buying new flip-flops for everyone and enjoying this weather today. 
In my mind, when the snow comes and it will, I will choose to believe it's a warm spring day and the wind is blowing through the cherry trees, making the blossoms fly in the wind. (All while wearing my new flip-flops and capris!)
In my mind, when the snow comes and it will, I will choose to believe it's a warm spring day and the wind is blowing through the cherry trees, making the blossoms fly in the wind. (All while wearing my new flip-flops and capris!)Seriously, I will get back in the swing of things! More to come...
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Sometimes
Sometimes I really do feel like this could solve most my daily problems:
And sometimes I feel like I could be this mean:
PS - You probably should change your password Michelle, it's way to easy to hijack
And sometimes I feel like I could be this mean:
PS - You probably should change your password Michelle, it's way to easy to hijack
Monday, February 15, 2010
Two Weeks...
What a difference 2 weeks can make!!! I had surgery as planned 2 weeks ago. Then many events transpired that were not so planned. I'm so grateful to be feeling so much better now.
The first surgery went well and was over more quickly than expected. I woke up in an empty recovery room (well except for the nurse who was helping me). I asked for and was given ice chips and felt like I always do when I wake up from surgery. Groggy and thirsty. I remember being moved from recovery to a room on the surgical floor since I was going to stay overnight. I don't remember actually getting to the room and the rest of the afternoon was a hazy, foggy blur. I guess about 20 mins. after arriving in my room, my blood pressure plummeted. They raced me to ICU to try to figure out what was going on. I guess they looked for internal bleeding at first but didn't find any so they figured that the pain meds and anti-nausea meds had caused my blood pressure to drop. They drew all the medicine off my body. I remember being in a lot of pain but lost in the fog with nothing to do but mumble that it hurt.
The doctors decided they needed to force fluids to try to get my blood pressure up. At one point, Robert said my blood pressure dropped to where the top number was only in the 40's. They put in a second IV and a femural line. I remember the central line! I have a huge puncture mark to remind me of that not so fun procedure. They put that in so they could give me a medicine called dopamine (sp?). It's a medicine that was supposed to help with my blood pressure and apparently, you can't give that through a regular IV because if it leaks it can kill the tissues around it. I was being given fluids through 2 IV's and blood through the central line. The nurses added up the amount of fluid and blood they gave me and it added up to 47 lbs of fluid. Most of that was given in a couple of hours. (I was so swollen with all of that fluid for a good week!)
My blood pressure still wasn't coming up and I found somewhere in my fog to tell them my stomach was REALLY hurting now and it felt like it was blowing up like a huge balloon. They did another ultrasound and found I was bleeding internally. I remember the lightning fast trip down the halls to the operating room. Every bump hurt. I remember them moving me to an operating bed and then nothing. Until I was being wheeled back into ICU, where I heard Robert. During the day, I remember feeling him stroke my hair at different times. It was such a comfort to know that he was there. The nurses kept telling me how he kept such a strong face on during the whole day, but they could see how scared he was.
My mom and Heather arrived shortly after I came out of the second surgery. Isn't it funny how at 30 you can revert back to the feelings you had as a little girl and feel comfort that your mom is there? Robert stayed until he was sure I was settled in and doing well. My mom stayed with me so Robert could get some rest. I know it was a long day for him. I had a rough night. My heart rate stayed up all night and my blood pressure was lower that mine usually is. Every once in a while, the monitors would start beeping. I kept checking my blood pressure and heart rate. I couldn't sleep. My mom tried to reassure me that the nurses were watching and I was fine but my mind would not let my body relax. Finally, around 5am my blood pressure was in an area where my mind decided I was fine and I was able to relax and get some sleep.
My blood levels remained low and so on Wednesday, the doctor decided to give me more blood. 3 more pints and my energy levels were better. They finally let me come home on Thursday. It was soooo good to come home and get to see my kids. I had told them I would be home on Tuesday so when I didn't come home until Thursday they struggled a bit. I can't begin to tell you how an experience like that changes your perspective. I'm truely blessed!
The first surgery went well and was over more quickly than expected. I woke up in an empty recovery room (well except for the nurse who was helping me). I asked for and was given ice chips and felt like I always do when I wake up from surgery. Groggy and thirsty. I remember being moved from recovery to a room on the surgical floor since I was going to stay overnight. I don't remember actually getting to the room and the rest of the afternoon was a hazy, foggy blur. I guess about 20 mins. after arriving in my room, my blood pressure plummeted. They raced me to ICU to try to figure out what was going on. I guess they looked for internal bleeding at first but didn't find any so they figured that the pain meds and anti-nausea meds had caused my blood pressure to drop. They drew all the medicine off my body. I remember being in a lot of pain but lost in the fog with nothing to do but mumble that it hurt.
The doctors decided they needed to force fluids to try to get my blood pressure up. At one point, Robert said my blood pressure dropped to where the top number was only in the 40's. They put in a second IV and a femural line. I remember the central line! I have a huge puncture mark to remind me of that not so fun procedure. They put that in so they could give me a medicine called dopamine (sp?). It's a medicine that was supposed to help with my blood pressure and apparently, you can't give that through a regular IV because if it leaks it can kill the tissues around it. I was being given fluids through 2 IV's and blood through the central line. The nurses added up the amount of fluid and blood they gave me and it added up to 47 lbs of fluid. Most of that was given in a couple of hours. (I was so swollen with all of that fluid for a good week!)
My blood pressure still wasn't coming up and I found somewhere in my fog to tell them my stomach was REALLY hurting now and it felt like it was blowing up like a huge balloon. They did another ultrasound and found I was bleeding internally. I remember the lightning fast trip down the halls to the operating room. Every bump hurt. I remember them moving me to an operating bed and then nothing. Until I was being wheeled back into ICU, where I heard Robert. During the day, I remember feeling him stroke my hair at different times. It was such a comfort to know that he was there. The nurses kept telling me how he kept such a strong face on during the whole day, but they could see how scared he was.
My mom and Heather arrived shortly after I came out of the second surgery. Isn't it funny how at 30 you can revert back to the feelings you had as a little girl and feel comfort that your mom is there? Robert stayed until he was sure I was settled in and doing well. My mom stayed with me so Robert could get some rest. I know it was a long day for him. I had a rough night. My heart rate stayed up all night and my blood pressure was lower that mine usually is. Every once in a while, the monitors would start beeping. I kept checking my blood pressure and heart rate. I couldn't sleep. My mom tried to reassure me that the nurses were watching and I was fine but my mind would not let my body relax. Finally, around 5am my blood pressure was in an area where my mind decided I was fine and I was able to relax and get some sleep.
My blood levels remained low and so on Wednesday, the doctor decided to give me more blood. 3 more pints and my energy levels were better. They finally let me come home on Thursday. It was soooo good to come home and get to see my kids. I had told them I would be home on Tuesday so when I didn't come home until Thursday they struggled a bit. I can't begin to tell you how an experience like that changes your perspective. I'm truely blessed!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Birthday Pictures
I just downloaded the pictures from the Grace and Felicity's birthday. I am getting ready for surgery for tomorrow morning so I will write about them later. I just wanted to get the pictures posted for now. (Especially for Mom...wish you could've been here, can't wait for you to get here in a couple of days!)
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