( ' , ' )

Many people thought I don't kids or many kids thought I don't like them. And actually the culprit behind all these is just my inferiority complex because I myself thought, kids shouldn't like me.
I always scared to give them tenderly care, as they might hurt me back by running away or giving me a bizarre look, as if I'm the evil Captain Hook that popped up from their cupboards. As you know, it's common for human to prefer things that are outwardly beautiful or to be precise, they judge things by the first look.
So, it is not impossible that they prefer a handsome koko or a pretty jiejie to come and talk to them. And I didn't match any of their terms and conditions......
But after all, I should try, right? Or else, in the other way, they might think, "This jiejie disliked me, so she didn't talked to me".
Well, someone should make an initiative. I pray that may God opens the heart of each one of us, so that we might be able to easily mingle with people and then spreads His beautiful words.
To every kid, I never hate you and in fact I really sayang kids and I hope to give my care especially to those who are in need, like autistic children and I will never put label on you all. You all are God's best creation.

d[-.-]b

For one moment, I felt myself like a donkey. Why should I be shocked by seeing any human created by God? Stupid me!! But maybe I have no other response to be given away...
And I no more using the word "bird-brains" to describe the imbecile as research shown quite a few species of bird actually has high IQ...like crows...
-- ----------------------------Google yourself-----------------------------------------------------

Busy day...that's all I can tell~

I love kids.

Today is Palm Sunday. Went to church and sang a lot of hymns about the day. Ever since I'm a Christian, many new terms pop up in my life, together with new evaluation of the world.

As such, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, Easter, Holy Communion, Doxology and etc.

After the Sunday Service, had lunch in Old Town.

Adrift between budget and irresistible meals.

Still, I ordered Nasi Lemak Special and CAM cold. (The least I can do).

A family came in and joined the next table. The little girl seemed mischievous, decisive in ordering food for her beloveds. When she looked back, my staring tore asunder.

What comes to my mind is the motivation for me to fight. For my career. As for sure, I want to give a good life for my family as well. If my child were a poor kid, would he/she ever have the opportunity, sitting leisurely and ask what he/she want? I started to wonder, if I ever have children, they would be nutured with the love of Christ, I will teach them words of God instead of slapping and beating them like some parents do.

Like what my friend said, "Siao Ah!! (You crazy ah??)" when I asked her if she would beat her child.

But for sure, spare the rod and spoil the child.

However, in Christ, children are obedience and sweet.

Conclusion: I love kids.

Palm Sunday

Jesus rode in, in lowly state, on a donkey. Amazement stir up in Jerusalem, followed by jubilant worship with Psalm 118.

"Blessed is He who comes in the name of Lord!!"

"Blessed is the coming kingdom of our Father!!"

Then, the Pharisees said, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples."

Jesus replied,"I tell you, if these were silent, the stones would shout out."

The next day a great crowd that had come to the festival heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem.

So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, shouting, 'Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord -- the King of Israel!'

Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it; as it is written: 'Do not be afraid, daughter of Zion. Look, your king is coming, sitting on a donkey's colt!'

The Pharisees then said to one another, 'You see, you can do nothing. Look, the world has gone after him!'"

(Today is Palm Sunday, the day when Jesus entered Jerusalem before He was crucified on the cross)

Know more about Good Friday.

recall...

First time here in Matric, accidentally sat down and taught Khoo Hui Yee how to fill up the forms.

First time in the C2 Cafeteria, Yap Lian Ching greeted me and my parents and asked if she could lend some help.

First time awaiting to take the room's key, Hor Khai Ying greeted me with a kettle on her hand, then followed by Leong Sim Yen, giving me Madame Tor's number, telling me that she and her husband brought students to church.

First time going to HEP unit to copy my timetable, Khew Jien May greeted me and told me I need to copy the places as well for each class...I saw Fann Zi Ying practicing netball on the field in front of Block B1.

First time took a look around the college at night, Yap Lian Ching and Chook Pui Yan guided. I think Andy broke his arm or someone else.

First time entering lecture, I saw Ooi Mei Xuan, Karmen Chan, Tan Hui Peng, Leong Sim Yen, Agnes Chui Yuet Yee and another one who left for JPA. I remember for the first extra physics night class, my phone rang with Harry Potter soundtrack.

First time entering Moral class, Agnes Chui Yuet Yee informed me the places and time. Seeing Chew Li Ling and......, Yen Nee and Yin Leng came in late a few class later.

First time going to church, sat in a car with Lao Foong and Jia Wen.

First time in a brother's house for Sunday Meeting, sat alone and Yvonne, a sister, greeted me. Second time, started to know Ellen Ding and Amelia Wong and I bought some stationary in a book shop and then went back with a brother's car with his girlfriend, he played the song, "My life would sucks without you" by Kelly Clarkson.

First time went to bus ticket counter to photostat lecture notes, Vincent told me must go to library upstairs. (information not useful)

First time went to the field, Tan Hui Peng asked if I wanted to join KARKOM. (??) Fong Yee and Stephanie were playing tennis.

A few times having dinner with Michele and her friends, only knew who is Zi Shan. (The one they said prettiest girl in college and plus some gossips...zzz...)

First time going to lab for Chemistry Practical. Mong Zhi Ying told me the direction. I remembered she lost her cellphone at library.

First time going to the DMK to listen for the JPP nominators' manifesto. Started to know Lydia Pang and Chan Pooi Man.

First time awaiting in guard house with many different people, I didn't remember who were there, Leong Sim Yen was doing her homework, Mong Zhi Ying talked about the outing, she wanted to watch the Angel Versus Demons but the guys wanted to watch Alien Versus Monster...

Few times again going to church, Ling Nien Earn dropped by Mr.Chew. He then drove back to college and fetched her.

Going to another house for Sunday's meetings. Sat with Ellen Ding. Vincent Lok Yun Yu was baptised. Mong Zhi Ying was leaving for JPA. She wanted to buy junk food for her classmates as last farewell. Leong Sim Yen told Ling Nien Earn alcohol killed brain cells and brain cells couldn't be regenerated.

First time going to Mr.Chew's house for fellowship meeting. Only I knew Ping Ci and her gang. Well, fellowship is just reading the script Mr.Chew given and shared what you think. (Tremble)

First time went and see the construction process of the church in Kuantan. Lydia just ran upstairs and checked. I think I know quite a lot of people at that time already, like Michele Ng and so so.

First time went to Teluk Cempedak, only knew Winson Wong, sticking with his sunglasses and other guys, Kai Chien and...

First time saw Lim, with his smart black shirt, only I know who is the guy that wins many hearts of girls here including my friend and shocked to know about his father passing away. [condolences]

First time knew Hao Shi Jie in Madame Tor's house when we were invited to eat laksa.

First time went to Temerloh Church, started to know Jo Ning and Stephanie more.

First time went to Kuantan Methodist Church, only know Poh Chin and Rosalind are Christians...

First time sings Christmas Carol in student centre, only know there are many Christians here...

Thorn

I found there are two person inside ourselves. One is distracted by the world, he wanted to stay, with fame, richness and long lasting different desires at times. Another, he is revealed when we found God. And this is our real self.
This one is rather different and raises questions to those who haven't break through the first shell and live with the second self. They wondered why we prefer to go to church rather than packing ourselves inside a warm blanket on a cold, lazy Sunday morning.
They wondered why we are not that panicked and murmured on our own each time we had problem. They don't understand why we love to call on the God's name anytime. They cannot feel the delight inside our heart when we say grace before a meal, instead they took up the spoon and just engulfed, they felt giving thanks for what they have is unnecessary.
Because they earn the food by themselves, they earn the money by their hard works, efforts, their wisdom. Yet they didn't open up their eyes to see where do the crops coming from, where do their health and mind and thinking come from. And if you asked, they would tell, it just exists. What an answer. If you asked them, why would there be human? They would say, human comes from monkey. What a humor. And if you asked further to them, would you fear of death? They would say yes, because they don't know where would they end up after death.
I tried my best to be a good person as I felt thankful to God for letting me knowing the truth, the light and the way. His words is the best illuminator of my path. AND He placed a thorn inside myself so that I wouldn't be so proud for what I am. And that thorn, sadly, it's you.

Now I know~

10 months here. Time helps me to distinguish good and bad friends... Some who are close with me in the 1st semester seem so far away now. And the 2nd semester, I felt like getting all those true friends, including those who I had hurt. Felt awful and sorry.
Just wanna say, I overheard that people saying I like to lie. This is a very serious accusation to me. Maybe I like to joke, but I just never lie. It's a sin to God!!! And you humiliated me and my God at the same time when you made this fake claim. Now, I really know who you are. Surely you are no more my friend!
Not to mention, I'm not antisocial. Just, I choose friends. Those who are righteous, honest, faithful, loyal and loving God can only be my friend.
For your information, stop these when you don't even know what is the love of God!!
Plus, you are the real big fat liar, you told me that you believed, but end up, you are not.
Pity for those who trapped by worldly things...

Worst Possible Scenario

For your information, my English is not very good, not to mention the speaking. I might have thousands of words, ideas to deliver, but the pronunciation just make me to rather swallow everything back. The more I talk, the more reveal of my weakness to pronounce 'R' ESPECIALLY AND MANY MORE LETTERS. So, one of the issue I concerned is when people asked of my name. I barely can tell it correctly with a bit of fear that people will correct me on speaking my own name.
I learned a word today. "Sanguine", from a friend's status on Facebook. Googled it and I found 'sanguine' means being optimistic and cheerful. Apparently, everyone is talking about the coming up PSPM, almost everywhere, if you can find a KM student. Stress accompanied with fear, sleepless night, 'azam baru'(new vision), coffee, Maggie Mee, appetite losing and a few study group that appeared to be zero efficiency where it should be chatting-and-watching-movie group instead.
But I hardly bother about it. Yes, it's about our future. But to me, the principle is simple. You study and then you get good result. There's no other solution other than paying effort. Or to be more realistic, there's no free lunch on Earth. I guess, we all understand the proverb rightly.
However, I was more distracted to other things. Yesterday, I read the latest Daily Bread online. It's talking about signature scent and I felt quite awful that I failed to give a good impression to people around me. What would people think of God, seeing my behaviour and attitude? Should I consider this is also another form of sin, indirectly? Having a deep thought of the whole 10 months here, I found myself undefined. I was like a roller coaster, with moods up and down, and all my friends ought to take the same ride, enduring my uncertain moods. Of course, after the programme, I shall not find any really best friend here due to their unsatisfactory with my discipline.
And I gave a phone call away to my Mom, asking her if there is any God's words for me. I always consulted her for anything. I found her more spiritual than me and I have nothing more I want other than hugging her when I'm back. Then, she said, "Ermm, do not be afraid as God will always be with you." Well, the Daily Bread today just wrote about Job(one of a real character in Bible that undergone loss of health, family and property at one time). What a coincidence?? Or just another miracle? Yet, I realised that God sending me here to test my character and makes me stronger. At the same time, He provides me with strength and comfort to see me through.
“He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold” (Job 23:10).
If you asked me, why I always like to talk about God? If I asked myself why does He pick me started from the beginning? The reason would just be the same. Because God loves me. And it gives me comfort each time I mention Him, indeed I walk with Him.
And give me some time, to mingle with you all, as I need to be friend with God first and then only I can share His love.

~

Deeply hurt. I will never forget.

Wakakaka~

Walking back from Double A(a stationary shop in my college). Accidentally saw a plat, hanging up there rigidly under the roof, saying, "Courage is the mastery of fear, not the absence of fear". Quite inspired.
I remembered I was a strong and brave kid, started from 5, I ventured and ruled over the neighbourhood. Every afternoon, the adults would just find me and couples of other kids catching tadpoles, frogs and the unknown small fishes inside the drain. Holding a 500mL mineral water bottle on one hand, with another grabbing on the rusty fences, we took this daily activity with commitment. Then, we cooked up the "whatever" and ate. Till now, I still felt disgusting each time that memory came across my mind.
And the most heroic scene would be, when I was 3. I was cycling around the front yard and my annoying Aunt paid an unwelcome visit. She is the wife to my grandfather's younger brother. And one of her favourite routine was to make comment on me from head to feet. I hated it very much and it's her who motivated me to learn on how to read the clock when I was 3 as she claimed a boy from a family nearby could read the clock. (silly, isn't it?)
Fine, so the time I saw her, I just wished I could escape from her horrible mouth, but, to leave my own house?? Ermm...yes, I just positioned rightly on the front door and pheww...I broke the restraint of my cycling area...turning back and looked, my grandma hadn't noticed my absence.
I recognised the path and tried to cycle to the regular Kopitiam I had my breakfast every morning with my grandpa, with a bit tremble in my heart.
And guess what?? I made it! Huhu~~
The story ended with the aunt's husband, my uncle lead me home with his motorbike, the time he was shocked with me appeared in the kopitiam, on my war horse, sweat all over my back. Of course, my grandma was in panic at home, giving phone call to everyone including the Mom and Dad I feared the most.
So, I'M JUST THINKING why I became so coward right now? From talking confidently to any strangers and debating with them to lowering my head and not looking at people's eyes. Pointless, right?
And I missed my grandma, she's awaiting me at hometown eagerly, counting days I would be back. She even planned to attend my graduation. Sadly, Matriculation doesn't have graduation because only the results after a month could tell if you are graduated or not.
Well, it's time to pick up the courage long lost. I guess so. And let God makes me to be the fisher of man, instead of tadpoles...(amused).
Let's us pray, may God bless every reader of my blog, laughing with the stories and mistakes I made but pray for me so that my maturity would grow together with my faith. Amen!
Ooo...not to forget, I had a friend here in Matriculation is going to be baptised this Sunday in her hometown...finally, Praise the Lord...raise His name high, Hallelujah, Amen!!

God's love

Bob Marley said, "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will gain peace." But those who do know Christ never know, God had long before giving us love abounds and His power of love never ends, once you believe, you will receive the power and share His love with others. And this love is genuine, it is not purposely created, just to have peace.
So, Christianity is a relationship, not a religion that provides consoling. Previous days ago, I read a blog on Myspace. He talked about if God would forgive murderers and rappers and some sort of very harmful criminals.
I was just thinking, God will. His love equally distributed to everyone. If they repented, God will love them too, regardless the severity of the sin. Because He had promised to give everyone the salvation. [John 13:6] Maybe we will never forgive those awful people. But God does. We are all their creation, so each time I see annoying behaviour by people around me, I try my best not to give a disdain look at them, they are created upon God's image and they deserved a chance to repent. Even we as Christian, sins will find us out. But of God's love, we seldom sin tough we make mistake. We don't talk about what we will get when we do good deeds or bad. Because God's love is more than enough.
We love God, not Christianity. Christian is God's child but not just a believer.

Ice Cream Theory II

This blog is removed due it's invalidity.

Ice Cream Theory I

Guess what?? My friend dropped by with another FLS under my request~~^^

Wondering why my blog had been empty like, weeks? I'm not sure too. I think there were some disturbances in my life recently which created ripples of waves inside my heart. So, I gave up expressing here, it would be bullshit anyway.
But I'm glad tough, which I realized there are plenty of people who read my blog. Huhu~ I met friends who asked why I stop blogging? Surprise, they read but just, they seldom comment. @.@
Guess what? I finished a 'Fruity Lime Surprise' on my way back to my hostel, from the mini-mart. I mean, it's shouldn't be a distance if you were to be there too. Main point: Eating ice stick is quite an enjoyment. And this FLS should be just familiar to anyone, the milk stick covered by a layer of light green lime-flavoured ice that you hold anytime when your mom spoiled you?? Hehe......(am planning to take a picture, but it's just dissipated from the stick the moment I unload my slippers at my door). It's a new arrival in Mini-Mart, although in previous days, there had been all kinds of different FLS, but this time it's cheap, exciting, refreshing and tantalising. Am I too much? 1 ringgit buys a sense of thrill. Well, it's the better choice among all, including Cornetto, at times, you are really exhausted. Not to forget, I'm currently drinking teh tarik almost everyday or precisely every meal and I'm cutting down now.
Next, least but not last, organic chemistry had been a headache. So, I should just advise my Form Six friends to take them seriously. For matriculation, it's your fake onwards to battle on these last 3 weeks. And I'm sure nothing is impossible. Study group works and I got unexpected high marks for the last two physical digestions. So, better try and I appreciated my team members efforts on the discussion, we love physics!!
People are anticipating to graduate from Matrics, at the time only I felt I started my life here, indulging the fun of college life, unfolded my own wings and fly without my parents' navigation. This should be a nice memory. So, I guess by now, everyone grab their chance to converse with their best friends to the fullest. But atmosphere is getting stern, neither am I smile more. Indeed, the final's pushing us all hard.
And my life really changes a lot. Troubles, chaos, sickness, injuries knocked and went away. God wants me to grow here and thank Lord for giving me this chance to transform, Amen. I found a friend here very nice to be my role model. She's a Christian too. What I learn from her are optimism, commitment and determination. And she hardly skips Sunday service. She loves God and what I know is that she would be a kid that God loves very much, for sure. And I deliberately hesitated to post this, because I'm quite worried that you will boast about this later on. Admittedly, yes, it's you, Stephanie. I guess you will only read this after graduation. You won't on9 before exam. Great to be your friend and God bless.