Wednesday, December 03, 2008

its scary how unpredictable things can get.. i realise i dun like it when i cant take control of things. call me a control freak or wadever.

everything seems so uncertain...its freaking me out. i think i need help.

- posted by Chermaine @ 11:22 PM

Sunday, November 23, 2008

exams have finally ended yesterday. n im just so relieved and glad. this sem is basically full of shit. think this is the only time i felt so helpless n stressed out. just cos i believe that ur effort gotta match ur results. so when i study hard, i expect the results to be up to my expectations. i do noe that there are times whereby ur effort wun match ur results, but for me, i just dun believe in "i did my best" kinda comfort. i mean, when u dun work hard n get shitty results, theres nothing u can say but just tell urself u deserve it. so this time, for the first time in ntu, i studied much harder than usual. but i think my results are gonna be the worst n leave a super black mark on my records.

i just cant wait to graduate. i hate this bloody school. the culture sucks big time. n it doesnt help that i have absolutely no interest in wad im studying now.

i always believed uni life shld be fun n hard work. but in this so-called 'gd university' (my foot seriously) i feel nothing but misery. n absolutely no fun at all. n the pple in there are just #$%^&*( hardworking. i seriously dun remember starting that hard for o's or a's.

all i hope now, is that i pass my stupid audit. like fuck that teacher seriously.

n i still dun understand why cant they just give us answers to pass year papers. or even worse, they dun wanna discuss past year papers during consultation. wad are they so scared of? that we give the answers to other school students or wad? when i saw the announcement that the teachers are not entertaining "past year exam qs, tut qs and textbook qs" i was like hello? then wad are u there for? just take ur salary n not do anything? thats basically all the revision we get n u say u dun entertain? n even more shocked when my fren specified that he wanted to as a conceptual qs but the ans he got was "i dun entertain consultation" go to hell pls. u ought to be sacked. we might as well self study right. the teachers here suck. i cant recall which teacher i thought was helpful.

sorry for my ramblings. i just need to let everything out. the past two weeks have been hell. i have nv imagined myself breaking down so often. but im glad its over. n let me say it again, i cant fucking wait to get out of this shithole.

- posted by Chermaine @ 2:12 AM

Monday, October 20, 2008

HAHA I JUST GOT TO POST THIS. this WEIRDO added me on msn n he said "Hi" n of cos i had to ask "u r?" n when he said he is "arnit" n i din reply he nudged me. so i replied n said "i dun think i noe u"

THEN this is wad he types. this spells desperate weird n i think psycho.

21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
How are Youu ?
Its just a facade says:
i dun think i know u
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Fuck Yu Mother

21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
And Fuck your Sisters

$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Fuck you motha
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Suck My
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Dick

fyi he said all these a million times

AND

since he was tryin to get my attention so much by nudging (i kept deleting him but i forgot to block urgh) i replied this

ts just a facade says:
haha think u can go fuck urself instead
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Fuck ur sisters
Its just a facade says:
-_- improve ur vocab dude

n this is wad his vocab consists of

21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Hupp
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
se me ardh
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
aty te mys
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
anive
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Bre
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
Klloshar
·$21·#язвзιі...:::...Arnity...::::... says:
se po

hmm...hahaha i think my vocab is not up to standard. or maybe he shld just go back to pre school :)

lesson learnt: BLOCK. dun just delete. :)

- posted by Chermaine @ 2:55 AM

Saturday, August 09, 2008

hi blog. long time no see. i have obviously lost interest in blogging n i am just blogging for the sake of keeping my friends updated on what has been going on in my really mundane life. the pics wld be on my facebook. blogger is too slow. haha

ever wondered if ur so-called principles are largely due to the continuous nagging/disapprovals from ur parents or the society n is not coming from within urself? or perhaps why must there be so many dos n donts in ur life. like DONT smoke. DONT date b4 ____years old. DONT slack. DONT come back too late. DO study. DO this n DO that. so on n so forth. ur future may even be set due to all these "responsibilities.' then again, u ask "why do u have to listen to such nonsense" n the reply is "bcos its ur responsibility" or "bcos its supposed to be like that"

the qs is: who are u to set the rules for me.

dont bother if u dun understand. its just something that suddenly popped out cos i was talking to hwee abt the so-called expectations n stereotypes. then i realised, that my so called rules n expectations are largely due to the pressures put on me- not that i really want it this way.

sometims, i wished i was a rebel. at least i probably wld be fighting for what i really want- not jus doing what's the supposedly "right" thing.

ok those are just thoughts. as for now, im back to school. its ok so far haha! maybe cos lessons have not started proper yet. i ended work qt a while ago. hip hip hurray!! i mean it was a great experience but it can really get damn boring. nevertheless, no regrets :) my colleagues were just too nice- i actually felt pretty down on the last day.

alrightos...im out of here. zzzzzzzz :)

- posted by Chermaine @ 1:51 AM

Sunday, July 06, 2008

yeah i noe its been a long time since ive blogged and my really belated post on my bday party.(which i noe some of my friends have alr blogged abt)

my party was filled with alcohol. so obviously, qt a few left my party drunk-- including myself. n i swear the feeling sucks. and i cant really remember a thing(which i rather not, after hearing bits n pieces about what a wreck i was) i really dunno how come we ended up at char's condo first b4 heading home.

so basically i heard that
1) i said "i dont want to drink. im a vv dainty girl" like wth
2) i almost mistook alcohol as water thanks to mr alaric sng n edmond teo.
3) i puke like crazy n almost lie on my own puke. -- on the floor.
4) hugged the toilet bowl at char's clubhouse n refused to leave
5) had to be supported out or literally carried out of villa bali..n seriously, villa bali is not a place to get dead drunk
6)keith exclaimed that "there is no such thing as water"
7) i repeated "i think im drunk" a million times
8)n keith actually left char's place half naked wahah!! cos i think he wanted to spray water on me so he took out his shirt. n conveniently left it there. -_-so when we got into the cab back to his place, he was half naked. how rocker style eh. n when sweekuan asked him wheres his shirt, keith was like "i dunno" hahahahah omg
...

n the list goes on. but i thought i had the courtesy, despite being in that drunken state, to keep apologising to sweekuan n keith for being such a wreck. yeah i find so much comfort in that.

thanks to the free flow of 6types of alcohol, i lost one side of my earring n spoilt my dress =$500 approximately due to my drunken state. lesson learnt!!! :(

but anyway i wld like to thank everyone for coming to my party :) n thank u for the presents!! :)

as for the actual day, keith sent flowers to my office n of cos my colleagues were like "wa" n "so u are in an open r/s" -_- how facebook-ish. n one of them even went to check my facebook immediately. how cute.

for pics, go to my facebook. im too lazy to post.

so for the past 8 weeks, i have been doing my internship. i think its a great experience though im pretty free at times. ok, "pretty" is an understatement. but i guess i still learnt qt abit. plus my colleagues are nice. im so thankful i managed to make friends with the other interns n oh boy, some of them can really drink. -_- i still have another 2 weeks more! i kinda have mixed feelings somehow. oh wells, we'll see.

ok im off to watch gossip girl. yeah im outdated. stopped watching it cos i find it so bitchy but since im free..why not. BYE

- posted by Chermaine @ 1:28 PM

Thursday, May 15, 2008

I know im one day late but HAPPY BIRTHDAY KEITH. was just too tired to blog ytd. took him to akashi to eat ytd. food was pretty good i guess.