Tuesday, December 30, 2008
hmmm... wads the title about?... todae is the EVE of the EVE of the new year... tats wads its about... haha... this irritating thing came from my FAT classmate... y is it irritating... coz this FAT fren of mine from dunnoe where thought about this phrase.... n it just keep goin on during PSA[programming & software applications]... he just keep saein n saein... his motive was to ask cher to let us off early... BUT of course it didnt work... n in fact cher played along too... see how fun my cher is... LOL...
a new year is coming... is there any changes in the new year? i wonder... will i be happier?... i doubt so.. will love be in the air?... questions over questions... i wish there were answers to them... if i could ans them myself... i think all will be NO... isnt this how life is... being sad... being alone... being independant... if this is how it is... maybe i hav to be stronger... to endure the loneliness... maybe ppl think im the one tat push ppl away... doesnt love means as long as the person is happy, they do not need to be together?... maybe tat wad i believe... but easier said den done... i couldnt do it... maybe im really the one tat push away ppl... maybe im just being selfish... thinking bout myself only... but i think IMAPIG to love u ... sometimes i just think... i may be like a guy... but i still hav a heart of a gal... the feeling of a gal... sometimes wad i sae may not be the truth... maybe i need to get it over... im not accepted... sux... im being emo again... haizx... ta
10:20 PM
Monday, December 29, 2008
hmmm... its been 8 daes... n i did not upload any pics... haha... just came back on sat from bangkok... went there eat eat n eat... grew so much fatter.... in terms of stomach... OH MAN... sch startin tml.... i so do not wan to go back... sian lar... no mood for studies... den go back sch 2 daes holidae... might as well dun start yet... hmm... wad to do... my sch smart mar... arh.... i hate sch... i love doin nth... arh... forget it... gonna sleep soon.. tml still hav to wake up early... tata...
12:52 AM
Sunday, December 21, 2008
hmmm... christmas is just round the corner... christmas is all bout love n sharing... but i guess this year im goin to hav a lonely christmas as usual... just eat ham n watch tv shows at home.. or maybe disappear for christmas... sad sad christmas...
1:44 AM
Friday, December 19, 2008
haizx... i really dun noe wad im doin with my life... im a failure in everything... in love i failed... in friendship i failed ... in work i failed too... soon it will be sch too... or maybe it has... maybe i should just leave singapore... or just totally just leave... disappear... dun think anyone will even bother lookin for me... im useless... nobody needs me... im just a extra person... just being extra when ppl dun even need me... cant something just happen to me...
10:22 PM
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
hmm... the chalet is over... like i said had chalet at downtown east.. with my 'brothers' ... so practically like with all majority of guys.. only bout one gal there... other den me lar[but im not a gal... lol.]... they booked the chalet.. i go n hav fun... didnt really had like super alot of fun... coz when im there... just cant forget bout u... haha... tired tired tired... haha.. didnt really do much at chalet though... tonight got DND... sian... hmmm ... shall upload photos another dae... lazy to do it now... just came back todae... still feeling very lazy n tired.. LOL... IMAPIG...
1:57 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2008
hmmm.. now at chalet ... at downtown east... stonning... sian... haha... time to not think so much...
3:36 PM
Thursday, December 11, 2008
hmmm... seems like u got over me very fast... or whether u r doin this purposely or not just to hurt me... sorry i dun think im tat important or mean anything to u tat u will even bother... but if u wanted to hurt me... seriously congrates... u really did hurt me again... if u r usin this method to make me forget or hate u... sorry to tell u... it wont work... if it will... 2years ago it would hav work... if u think its so easy for me... IM TELLING U IT IS NOT... when i read ure reply.. first thing was my heart stop... i dun believe my eyes... or should i sae i dun believe tat u will do this... but its fine... u hav ure own life n i of all ppl even more hav no right to bother u at all.. tears was at my eyes... but of course.. i wont let it fall down my checks... i dun wan to cry anymore... maybe u ppl think wadever i sae is just shit to sae back... IT IS NOT... everything on my blog i real... unless i stated tat i was jokin or something like tat... if not everything is the truth... i dun really care whether u all believe anot... anyway seems like my trust for others hav been broken again... n i dun think ppl even will believe me... so no point bah.. fine ... i hurt u .... u hurt me... i guess ive nth better to sae..
all i noe... when my heart was about to be set free... it is locked up again... once again by the same person... but this doesnt mean i will let go... dont think i will... since u said to me once.. dun sae tat i love u... so i guess its fine to keep in my heart bah... i dun noe y... but as long as i come to u... im just lost... without hopes... without directions... i dun noe wad to sae anymore... i dun noe wad more i can sae... all i noe deep in my heart... daisuki..[if its the correct word to use{i noe wad i wan to sae can le}...]
11:59 PM
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
hmmm... ive been thinking so much until i dun wan to think anymore... just continue watchin drama... love shows... sad shows... touchin shows... wadever.. anytype of show i will watch... except horror shows... just complete another show called [ganbatte ikimasshoi]... even though the lead actress was not gd looking... i decided to finish watchin it coz of RYO... some guy tat acted in [one litre of tears] too... after watchin a few episodes... the story was quite interesting... story line overall was gd... it show teamwork... friendship... n more types of relationships... in the show there is this phrase tat was used "someday, somewhere, by chance"... somehow it seems so true... when there is the fate n faith... really someday, somewhere, by chance , something gd will happen... haha... i think im letting tv shows control my thinking... but somehow it feels nice... thinkin in a diff way bout things... anyway tv shows always comes from real life... just being make big a little... maybe i should ganbatte ikimasshoi [tat means "give it your all"] but i just dun noe how.... haizx... dun think so much... daisuki... daisuki...
1:07 AM
Saturday, December 06, 2008
haizx... u said this... "ELITE.i'm sorry.the way i see it. its just like you're putting me on stand-by.i don't want you to get offened. but anyway.i don't care to what you think or what-so-ever.you don't tell me what are you thinking.i'm sorry.*laughs~" u said this... after i read it... im sad.. disappointed... u said before i disappointed u... but did u really noe wad i wan... i told u u didnt understand.. its not i didnt sae... maybe i expect too much... but really from wad u sae.. i really dun noe wad more i should sae.. maybe wad both of us wan is different... both of us hav diff views of LOVE... i really did try... im tryin my hardest... but wad u said... u make thing sound like im all at fault... dun u think both of us also hav fault... relationships work both ways... not only on my side... i really hate myself for doing this to u... but seems like now... there is nth i can do... or maybe i shouldnt do anything already... coz i dun think it will work... if its only one way... after wad u sae... im lost... im hurt... but i guess u dun even give a dam anymore... maybe u feel tat i hurt u like hell... sometimes do think of me... think of my feelings... im not a rock... im a person with sensative feeling... even though i dun show... im not tat strong... all i wish is for a happy ending.. but it looks impossible... i said i didnt wan to bring up the past... but it did happen.. becoz of the past... i lose all hopes of guys.. i lost all hope of love... u made things said tat i hav someone else... all the while there is no one else.. do u get it.. there is only u... but i guess it doesnt matter anymore... the way u sound u dun wan anything with me anymore... if tats how u wan... den follow ure way.. coz seems like my words dun mean anything ... once again u did it again to me... but i guess its not ure fault.. its mine rite... forget it.. there is no point already... forget it... maybe it doesnt matter to me bah... =P....
5:17 PM
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
hmmm.. i just finish watchin the whole show... in about 9hours plus to about 10 hours... every episode is a sure to cry... practically throughout the whole show i was cryin... this is the first time i watch a show till i cried non-stop... cried till my eyes feel so dry... cried till i had headach... cried till i didnt feel like stopping... cried till i didnt eat anything since i started watchin.. cried till i realise there is such thing call true love... even being unable to get the person...unable to be with the person... the feeling will still be there to connect them.. the show is a real life story... it shows tat true love exsist... this show let me see lots of things... if u dun believe watch it for ureself... it even touch my heart... [the heart of a heartless person whereby it has been locked-up all this while.. thanks for opening my heart to see there is true love... something tat i always believe...]
the show ended... but tears r still in my eyes... i cant seem to stop cryin... i guess i just dun trust myself enough.. dun trust my heart ..
believing in true love... doesnt always means
trusting... to me its just very hard... very hard... maybe if i hav some illness tat can affect me... maybe den i'll change?.. sorry for sayin this type of stuff... its pesstimist... but its the truth.. maybe somehow long ago ive lock my heart up... n somehow i just dun noe how to unlock it..
y do lovers need to be together?... i dun noe... y must humans fall in love even though it hurts... y?.. there is just too many questions to be ask... too many questions in my heart tat hav yet to be unlock... will there even be a dae tat all the question be unlock...
todae really isnt a gd time.. especially after watchin sad show... cryin non stop... even as im typin now... tears r still comin down... somehow these tears cant disappear...
2:02 AM
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
hump... its cryin time... watchin sad show really help in cryin ... especially this show "one litres of tears" i am cryin throughout the show... its really very touchin n lovin... it really shows true love... if anyone wan to cry... this is the show i strongly recommand... unless ure heart is even harder den mine... [ when mine is already very hard ... im still able to cry... ] =P
10:08 PM
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