Thursday, June 29, 2006
haizx... todae... dun noe wad to sae bout todae... had sch like duh... than cca... mr boo is full of shit... always tok crap only... sae wan to come teach chang chen... in the end only go to his bao bei souna... than always sae we all lan... full of shit lar... so many things i cant stand anymore... im seriously tired... i JUST WAN TO FORGET... forget everything... but it nv just disappear... there is just somethings tat i dun get too... sometimes i wish for a ans... but sometimes... i wan none... none at all... i dun wanna noe anything... i feel tired after all the [acting]... hidin feelings... hiding stuff... cannot be my real full self infront of others... just wan a break from everything... just wan something gd to happen... but i guess it nv will... i dun wan to be force into doin something... i dun wan... i hav my own mind... or at least something tat i believe... n tat will FOREVER NOT CHANGE... like it or not.. but IM SORRY...
1:41 PM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
harlo... todae is the first dae of sch... er... at least after the holidaes de first dae... hehe... heard some news todae... but i guess it doesnt matter... at least to me lar... haha... so didnt wan to wake up this morning lar... so wanted to sleep more... but obviously woke up in the end... slept at like 1plus 2am last nite... so a bit hard to wake up lor... hehe... still cant change back yet... to used to sleepin late... haizx... cant get to sleep mar... wad to do... lol... yup... life is sian... as usual... haha... sch started... tat means... lesser time... *sobs*... i dun wan to do hw... neither do i wan to start studying... haha... i dun wan to use my brain leh... proberly too lazy... haha... just wanna laze around... haha... todae wan ok lar... new co-form teacher... mrs adelene cheong... she quite ok lar.. than started lessons of bio... than had RECESS... LOL.. than eng... started lessons too... than J sae tat we hav some project tat must do... than had SS... haha... was like totally goin to doze off during her lesson... too tired liao... haha... keep like goib to sleep like tat... haha... than had emaths... did some wks... than had some talk in the hall... when to eat lunch than went for cca... so pei cek lar... todae me, jiawen, michelle ... was early by a few mins lar... than the com ppl came like super late... irritating lor... than had like cca... like duh... CO nv sae there is no cca... was almost slackin the whole dae todae... so sian lar... haha... yup.. tats all for now... maybe goin to sleep like early todae... than wake up even earlier tml... haha... still haven done my hw yet... so must wake up earlier to do... kk... tata...
12:50 PM
Saturday, June 24, 2006
haizx... holidae goin to end... left 2 more daes... or less... the best part is i HAVEN EVEN STARTED MY HW!!!.... sure die liao... than now got so call sore throat... very pain... until i dun even wan to swollow anything... than my saliva filling up my mouth... than when swollow very pain... sadded... always like tat de... goin holidae than like wan to sick... sianz... so umcomfortable... wish tat tml n sun work... my manager dun put me as cashier... haha... coz i dun wan to tok... pain... lol... yupyup... todae went kbox... even though my throat sux... but who cares... todae was shiying's birthdae... than went there to celebrate... so fun lar... haha... than after tat... my throat more pain... but nvm... haha... the best thing is tat we had fun... even though before tat was quite piss off... if my birthdae was somthing like tat... will be like so gd lar... but without the small quarrels before the kbox... haha... but forget it... dun even wan to think bout it... haizx... sian... i think im like having on-off fever lar... sian... havin headachs too... haizx... pek cei... kk lar... think i goin to sleep soon i think... tml still need to wake up early do hw... or else sure die liao... tata...
3:42 PM
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
haizx... dun noe wad happen to me todae... everything kinda was quite ok at first... usually when im in the bad mood i will eat super super alot... but todae... i nv eat much... for the whole dae... i only at a rice burger... than went for cca... than had work... ate two curry puffs before work... than after these three items... i nv eat anything already... haizx... im hungry but i dun noe y... i just dun feel like eatin... todae... tears just came down my cheeks... flowing out frm my eyes... i dun noe y... but i didnt wan to stop cryin... i wanted to really cry... i dun wan to bottle everything inside anymore... im tired... hurted... broken up inside... just wan everything to stop... i dun wan to act... i dun wan to act anymore... wads the point... nth just works out... just wanna disappear... just wanna die... forget bout everything... i wanna hav peace... i wanna feel l****... simple c***... just so simple... but y is it so hard... maybe it is just meant to be like tat... haizx... sorry for all the rubbish stuff above... just ignore... goin to end here... nites...
3:33 PM
Sunday, June 18, 2006
harlo... just kinda a quick post todae... haha.. went to help my mum again... than rushed down to work... lucky wasnt late... hehe... sae johnny n the as usual... haha... than start work... ended slightly late... all the weird irritating ppl goin to 10.30pm... suddenly so many come... haha... than kinda cannot stop... lol.. than me n jia xin... went the usual too.. so irritating lar... todae keep burning my hand.. lol... first while helping my mum.. tat one more serious.... than another is during work... burn by hot oil... [ :*( ]... lol... haha... but work is kinda fun... except... seeing tat irritating aunty... everything oso complain... like dun complain will die like tat... like my manager dun noe... anyway... todae is something like tat... n tml oso will be bout the same... go help my mum than go work... lol... yup yup... tat bout it... haha... wonder wad time i sleepin todae too... haha... tats all... tata...
4:53 PM
Saturday, June 17, 2006
haizx... now kinda havin headach... arh!!! slept only four hours "yesterdae"... 4am plus went to sleep... than woke up at 8am... wah... can die lor... until now... still haven sleep yet... hehe... dun noe whether wanna sleep anot... i thinkyes... im so goin to sleep soon i guess... haha... or maybe not... dun noe... anyway... had to help my mum with some charity thingy todae... went there like early... duh... tats y i nv sleep more... hehe... than stayed there till like 7plus 8... went to tm... haha... went to drop-by... than went to meet wing yan... at out usual place... haha... just tat this time without the bike... haha... than had to walk home from her house... haha... cant cycle home... so sad lar... lol... tml hav to go help my mum at suntec first... than after tat hav to rush down to work... hehe... than should be meeting wing yan again... yup yup... kinda cant wait... coz i can keep myself super busy... haha... busy n tired is the best... but i cant really seem to get really tired... haha... anyway... just goin to end here... to lazy to write liao... hehe... tata...
my so call fridae... [16/6]
3:25 PM
Friday, June 16, 2006
todae[15/6... for me]... wad happen todae... lets see... slept at like 4amplus last "nite"... woke up as usual not so early... went to cassi house to do hw... but sadly... i wasnt feeling well... or should i sae my stomach wasnt feeling well... well it started this way... went to downtown to buy cake... than went cassi house to eat... started with a bit of hw... than stomach felt so unwell... went to the toilet... poo-ed... than stomach still felt super not well... stayed in the toilet... felt as if i was goin to puke... but is was true... stayed a while in the toilet... than puked... kinda felt better after tat... but stomach still feeling a bit weird... so ate biscute... felt slighty better... than i realise tat i need to go work le... so kinda rushed to work... took cab... in the cab didnt feel very well still.. than went to work... coz was slightly late... so started kinda immediately... wanted to ask if i can eat first... but maybe it will be better after a while... but after a while... was getting worse.. so had no choice but to ask for my super early break... went to eat something... tha acidic in my stomach sucks... haha... ate something... just like ate a few mouths of mee suah... than started work again... coz tat timing is super alot of ppl... but lucky tat few mouths of mee suah... kinda did the job... the acidic calm down... lol... work till 11pm... around there... kinda ended earlier... than went to do the usual with my s***ing partner n johnny[my manager]... than had to rush off liao... coz was kinda late... my dad came to fetch me... n i was a few mins late... hehe... my mum suspected something lar... kinda... she sae very smelly... than i just sae is my manager... hehe... no choice... i kinda dun even wan to start... but wad to do... maybe after doin... it makes me [happier???]... not really but... i dun ... feel like doin... best is die earlier... anyway... my dae is like tat... n now is 2:32am... n i still cant sleep... u just cant get out of my mind... i dun noe wad to do anymore... tata... maybe i will c** to sleep... lol... morning ppl...
5:33 PM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
hmm... let me tok bout the previous few daes... haha... the so call mon for me... slept at 5.30am plus[on tues]... haha... coz no work on tuesdae... so kinda rest... but still in the end went to my work place... haha... sian mar... went there totally slack the whole dae... haha... from 5plus[pm] till like 11pm... haha... just went there to slack... haha... coz need time on my own... haizx... yupyup... than todae[14/6... wed] for me... had work todae... suppose to wake up earlier... but was lazy in the end... haha... coz slept at like 4am plus.... was dam lazy to wake up... than at last woke up.. went to my work place... suppose to study[do hw] first... but in the end... remembered tat i got the ans key... so didnt bother to do yet... so started oin crossword puzzle... haha... than suddenly my manager ask me to start early... than obviously is ok lar... haha... so started work... was kinda sian... coz started work at like 4.30pm... than hav to work till 11pm... hehe... but in the end was okok... haha... tml[15/6... thurs] oso workin... hehe... wonder wad time i will sleep todae... lol... tml goin to find cassi... hehe... go do hw... haha... wonder if i really will do... lol!!!... should be will lar... haha... wonder if i can wake up... lol... hmm... maybe try sleeping earlier todae... lol... yup yup... now is like... 1:01am... sian... so cannot sleep yet... arh!!!... lol... shall just sign off ... hehe... tata...
4:04 PM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
mon[12/6]... for me...
wah... todae at work was scary lar... kinda... lol... slept at 3plus am yesterdae... than as usual i nv set alarm clock... so i will sleep till like quite late in the afternoon... than around 2.30 plus... my manager call me n ask me if i can go work at 4... than im like huh!!!... than i said i try to go asap... haha... than i look at the time n is 2.30plus... was lazy... than woke up... ate lunch... than went off to work... as usual... im super lazy... so i took a cab down to work... haha... i think i work rite... half of my pay goes to my cab fee... haha... anyway... now is like 4:09am... n i cant get to sleep... full of shit... haizx... i just wan to sleep... haizx... maybe i should do wad i normally do to sleep... haizx... latest i hav to wake up tml is 12:30pm... how... where got enough sleep... arh!!!...
proberly im just goin to keep this short.. dun really noe wad to post todae... ohoh... during work i made a mistake... oh man... felt so bad lar... gave the wrong burger out... haizx... so sian... feel like sleepin but cant... haizx... wonder wad time i will sleep... arh!!!... i wan to watch she's the man... hehe... i just wan to disappear... haha... i siao liao... maybe lack of sleep n rest... haha... kk... maybe i shall try lying on my bed n see whether i can fall to sleep anot... but if cant... maybe i will kinda do my usual... hehe... morning to those still awake... wakey to those still sleeping... haha...
7:16 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
hmm... just realise its been a while since ive blog... sometimes dun feel like blogging... some daes i dun even on the com... very dae i sleep very early in the morning... coz i cant get to sleep?!... dun noe ... who cares... got sleep can liao... n the best part is tat most of the daes tat i sleep in the early morning... i hav work tat dae... haha... cant believe tat i wont feel tired... maybe coz my mind is occupted... stops me from thinking bout other stuff... but tat kinda only happens during work... but when im goin to sleep... or when im alone... when im in a quite rm... i will start thinking... i dun wan to thikn ut i cant help it... sometimes cry to sleep?... maybe it will stop one dae...
anyway.. work... haha... hav been kinda fun... keeps me busy... kinda happy during work... sometimes at least... when we r busy until i dun even hav the time to think bout other stuff or than wad orders r there... haha... than rush out the orders... sometime we the so call young crews start kinda playin around... haha.. quite fun... but i wonder when i will see u come find me... lol.. just come find me n eat with ure frens... more fun... haha... see u noe the ppl during work... haha... its been a while since i nv touch [it] already... doin alone... not very fun... haha... but even yes... one time do so many... haha.. i wan to stop too... but doin [it] makes me happier... i think... haha... kinda becoz of two person i start... cannot really blame them... is my own fault... anyway... does it matters... dun think so... waiting for "jia xin" to come back to work.. than i got company liao... or else i dunno i will how long nv do... sian...
tryin to live a proper life... maybe.. myabe not... depends whether i can anot... but i hav to stop eating when im sad... wastin my money on mos burger... haha... but okok lar.. the food there not bad... wrong... is quite gd... haha... tryin to keep my nlog happy... haha... haizx... its been quite long since i can go to church... sian... i wanna go... yay... i think next week i can... yay!!!... coz on sat i hav off... but i need to help my mum... but i think i can still escape for a while... haha... workin on mon, than tues off [ i dun wan off... i wan to work].... haha.. wed, thurs got work... fri, sat, off... haha... hav to help my mum... than sun work again... haha... i think among the managers... i prefer steven... haha... jonny is ok lar... just tat workin tat time... he more strict... haha... royce is the very funny de... the both of us always de siao eileen n hui ting... haha... but eileen nicer to de siao.. haha... i dun like being CS... haha.... sometimes u see how the ppl eat... dam groose... haha... than i hav to clean... super idiot lar... than they bring outside food in... super oily... haha... than they dun noe how to eat properly de... the tomato n chilli sauce anyhow put... haha... but if im them... i think i oso wont care... haha.. haizx... now is 2:17am... n i cant get to sleep... sian... how... later still got work... lol...
being random... since im too bored... n nobody is online... haha... i feel tat on x-men 2 n 3... scott looks kinda horrible... haha... n magnetto... looks really old... haha... than night-crawller looks scary in x-men 2... haha... ohoh... n todae before goin to work... i watch this korean show... kinda nice... haha... korean story always the same "thing"... one very "angel" person n another very "devil" person... haha... haizx... tryin to make this post super super long... haha... nth beeter to do now anyway.. super sian... in my quite rm... my parents sleeping... i think my sis not back yet... sian... my family... getting more n more messy... i hav to be the "gd" daughter... im super tired... cannot do this... cannot do tat... dun wan to let them down... haizx... i wan a break... tats y i started workin... waste time... keep myself busy... as busy as i can... when sch reopens... i dun noe whether i can cope anot... i think i can... cannot oso must can... i must start studyin... so tat to prove tat even though i work... it will not affect my sch work... yup... i must do it.. but seriously... i feel like just breaking down... lol... aiya... i think this post is one of the super long liao... haha... dun wan to write liao... dun noe wad to write liao too... haha... so nites to ppl who haven sleep... n wakey up for those tat sleep liao... haha... sorry... im mad... haha... nites... but i doubt im goin to sleep soon... haha... maybe at 3 plus 4 plus than sleep... hehe... meanwhile... im goin to rot... tata...
5:32 PM
Thursday, June 08, 2006
looks like there has been some misunderstanding between us for the previous daes... wadever i sae before is not tat true now tat i noe certain stuff... im sorry... i dun noe wad i should do now.. take really gd care of ureself... please... hope ure x-ray results would be positive... i really hope to meet u... wanna see u... i miss u... i love u... really wan to see u... i dun wan anything bad to happen to u... take care...
YAY!!! todae my off dae... haha.. work 6daes in a row... but it totally didnt feel like i work for 6 dae... only like a few daes... hehe... its been a while since ive been to service too... sadded... hmm this week i must go on one dae... i dun care... lol... if im like not workin... haha... haizx... i need space to breathe... im tired... of rubbish tat is goin on... not of work... i kinda like work... i dun need to think bout unhappy stuff... keep myself busy... haha... anyway... shall just end here... shall blog again in the nite...
5:50 AM
Monday, June 05, 2006
how worse can it get... wad do u treat me for... a free trial... happy happy... than together... not happy than break arh... i dun noe wad in the world i owe... i owe soo much tat im gettin all this... forget it... its ure choice... n i accept... [-brokenuppinsidex-]... th wound will nv heal... i thought at first it wad healing... who noes u took a knief n just stab it in my old wound... my heart bleeding... i dun noe wad i should sae... forget it...
4:30 PM
harlo... im sick of certain stuff... piss with certain stuff... haizx... i think is really not my luck... there is a hacker hackin my friendster... sending ppl mails tat sae i dun noe wad stuff... but i think tat it is not gd... tokin rubbish on the mails... n i cant believe tat i noe this person... haizx... this person noe so much of me... i think... haizx... dun noe wad to do... hope tat this will stop... im tired of keep changing or creating new acc on friendster... WHOEVER U R... PLEASE STOP... STOP ALL THIS NONSIENCE... WAD R U TRYIN TO DO... Y DUN U JUST COME TELL ME STRAIGHT IN MY FACE... BETTER THAN DOIN IT BEHIND MY BACK... DUN EVEN DARE TO ADMIT TAT IS U... QUIT ACTING TAT U NOE ME WELL... U DUN...
hav been workin everydae since thurs... todae is the forth dae... kinda first time i had to do cs... kinda bad luck... than so many ppl where eatin outside food... than when i told one family... they were like not happy... haizx... had to close lobby todae... tml oso workin... hav to rush down after cca... sian... tue hav meeting at like 8am... than i hav cca... than work... wed is my off... haha... in 7 daes... must hav one dae off... cannot work for 7daes in a row... for part-timers... than maybe goin bangkok on fri...
i dun noe wad u wan... hacker... or should i sae someone i noe... wad u wan me to happen... u wan me dead... u think i dun wan to die meh... than y dun u just use a car to kill me... im tired os everything too... u wan to settle anything... come find me lar... dun need to do this stupid stuff... not pleased with me... tell me... dun need to bottle up inside ureself... just wan to make things clear... DUN MESS UP WITH MY FRENS... DUN CAUSE THEM TROUBLE... OR THE ONE GETTING IN TROUBLE IS U... U BETTER PRAY I DUN FIND OUT WHO U R... U BETTER COME TELL ME FIRST... I WILL LET IT GO... BUT IF I FIND OUT WHO U R... I DUN NOE WAD I WILL DO...
3:29 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
just woke up... yesterdae was my first dae at work... quite ok lar... but is sure tired... started out by helping with the drinks n soup... than a guy call royce taught me how to make ice tea... so learned... than later jonny, the manager, made royce teach me cashier before he can go... haha... at first i didnt wan lar... somemore alot of ppl... than takin order very complecated de lor... so many type... than must write already than enter into the "com"... than while entering into the com... i always enter wrongly... or very slow... i always forget to ask if the wan ketcup or chilli... haha... but overall was still ok lar... just tat thinking tat todae must go work abit sian... than eileen not workin todae... so im kinda alone... haha... hav to work till 10pm... sian... already feelin tired... later still got geo tutorial... haizx... i shall go tok tok... haha... anyway its only 1 hour... haizx... got ppl hack my friendster acc... sending messages to ppl... SO PPL... IF THE MESSAGE LOOKS WRONG OR WEIRD... PLEASE INFORM ME... THANKS... COZ MAYBE IT IS NOT FROM ME... haizx... tats all for now.. sian..
1:12 AM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
harlo... sian lar... todae sian... woke up like kinda at 8.10am... was late for sch... haha... half an hour late... sian lar... than lim bey bey make me stay back for half an hour after tat... haha... than cass came my house... suppose to go out... but after a while had headach... so didnt go out... stayed at home... slacking... stomach wasnt feeling well too... than the dae just passed like tat... went for dinner than went to tok with wingyan... went to her house there... drink root beer... haha... chat than went home... tml another packed dae... cca at 1.30... than after cca straight way must go work... haizx... suppose to go play netball with my mum... shit me lar... i forgotten when i was tokin to the manager... now i feel super bad lar... to tell my mum i not goin with her tml... im such a fucker too... haizx... kk... just a short one... goin to sleep soon....
2:25 PM
