Confusion

 i was about to give up..
i tried to distance myself from u
but then, things happened the other way..
we become closer and closer now..
.
Im confused..
confused of your feelings..and your intention..
.
the moment i stopped hoping, then u gave me hope..again..
why??
.
y did u give me that song?
were u trying to convey your feelings to me?
i dont get it..and i dont want to ask u..
because im too scared of this word :: 'rejection'
.
Ya Allah..please guide me..
If he's the one for me, please let me see my way..
If he's not the one, please put him away..

but..why is it so hard to part from him?
could it be...?

Thought that I was having my bad day..

Two days ago, 1st Ramadhan, when everyone was happy welcoming the fasting month, I thought I had a bad day. A lot of things went wrong and the worst wassss *sigh* - my car.
.
I never imagined my car to crash into a divider and one of the front tyres was about going into a big drain! *ok Faezah, if u happen to read this, breathe in. I'm okay!* I was soooo speechless and had no feeling at that time. It was just a small accident. And it happened just right in front of his house! And I was going to pick him to Sungai Petani (for the first time to use my car). In front of his house was clearance stock sale, and there were a lottt of people. Oh my goodness! Malu kot! but i only realized the malu feeling the next day. hoho.. He was so kind, so caring, so helpful..mcm mna hati tak cair? i stood there helplessly, looking at him and the people to move my car. Oh myyy..if he wasnt there, I don't know what would happen. After my car was 'saved', he came to me and calmed me down..and he asked me to drive home. Just a few seconds after I arrived home (not even a minute) he was already there for me.. to pick me.
.
seriously..why are you being so nice to meee.. T_T
.
He brought me to SP, cheered me up, helped me a lot, accompanied me to break our fast..he did a lot..
.
He sent me home at almost 11 pm.. and at midnight he texted me again, telling me not to worry and think positive..
.
and the next day he texted me again..
and today, early in the morning he texted me againnn..even he was in the class, and i was in the class too.. asking about me and my car.
.
Man, why are you so caring? I can't stop my heart from liking u T_T
.
.
but after all these things happened, I finally acknowledge the saying 'everything happens for a reason'..and the reason behind my accident is, I'm getting closer to him.
.
and, I'm taking back my words - that day was not my bad day. It was one of the best days, and the root to grow our relationship. =)
.

I won't ask for more.. having him by my side is enough for now..thank you Allah :')

The Most Unforgettable Memory :)

I wont forget that wonderful date, 19th June 2014.. it was so meaningful, and i've no regret since then..
Thanks so much for being there for me :)

Rindu lagi..

Kepada insan yang bernama SA..

Ketahuilah..

Sesungguhnya aku rindu..

Jika aku..

Andai engkau tau betapa kumencinta
selalu menjadikanmu isi dalam doaku
ku tahu tak mudah menjadi yang kau minta
ku pasrahkan hatiku, takdir kan menjawabnya.

Jika aku bukan jalanmu
Ku berhenti mengharapkanmu
Jika aku memang tercipta untukmu
Ku kan memilikimu
Jodoh pasti bertemu..

Andai engkau tahu betapa kumencinta
ku pasrahkan hatiku, takdir kan menjawabnya..

Cinta Agung..

Ya Allah..
Di saat ku terlalu leka mengejar cinta dunia..
Teralpa ku seketika bahawa cintaMu itu jauh lebih agung daripada segala-galanya..

Ampunilah hambaMu yang lemah dan lalai ini.. :'(

Rindu :(

Ya Allah..
Aku rindu.. :(

Rahsia Allah Tak Siapa Tahu..

SEKUAT mana kita setia...
SEHEBAT mana kita merancang...
SELAMA mana kita menunggu...
SEKERAS mana kita bersabar...
SEJUJUR mana kita menerima kekasih kita...
SELAMA mana kita bertahan bersamanya...

Jika Allah swt tidak menulis jodoh kita bersama orang yang kita sukai, kita tetap tidak akan bersama dengannya walau kau bersusah payah mendapatkannya. Maka cintailah orang yang sewajarnya.. kerana orang yang kita cintai belum pasti jodoh kita nanti..


Kadangkala yang engkau nilai baik untukmu belum tentu baik untuk Allah swt  :)



Saat hati berkata "INGIN", namun Allah berkata "TUNGGU"
Saat "AIR MATA" harus menitis, namun Allah berkata "SENYUMLAH"
Saat segalanya terasa "MEMBOSANKAN", namun Allah berkata "TERUSLAH MELANGKAH"


Kita merancang, Allah juga merancang, tetapi sesungguhnya perancangan Allah itu lebih baik dan terlalu banyak rahsianya..

* makanya... aku redha..

Empty Heart

I miss him so much..although he doesn't even know that truth..
.
"O Allah..do not attach my heart to what's not written to be mine.."
.
Jodoh itu rahsia Allah..aku redha..
.
...Ya Allah,
jika dia tidak ditakdirkan untukku, 
dan aku tidak ditakdirkan untuknya,
maka jauhilah aku dari memikirkannya,
dan jauhilah dirinya dari memikirkanku..

Keangauan~

R.I.N.D.U
.
.
.
.
sekian~

Another J comes..

Aktif sungguh aku menghapdet blog semenjak dua menjak ni..Sblm ni aku cita pasal F. Skang ni J pulak..homaigod! Another J of my life! J yg dlu sudah hapus lenyap ditiup angin kencang..hohoho..
.
Tetiba mncul J yg lain..the one who already existed when i was in primary school, tapi malangnya aku x knal dia..kls lain katanya..tah la labu..
.
Ujung taun lpas lg dia rajin duk msj kut inbox aku..tp aku bls gtu2 jela..i dont wanna give hope, again..2,3 kali dia send bru 1 aku reply..huhu ksiaaan dia..pastu mnyepi la seketika dia ni..igtkn dh sepi terus la..tiba2, ari ni mncul kmbali..ayoyooo mcm mana ni? bikin complicated pulak..
.
dan aku buat kputusan layan mcm biasa je..tp idok ler terlampau dingin mcm sblm ni..bls la setiap yg disend tu..time2 mcm ni aku kena kawan dgn smua org yg ada..i mean, yg nk knal2 ngn aku..pstu bru pilih..kikiki..
tp yg ni mmg x give up..wpun dilayan ala kadar je sblm ni, dia tetap gigih mncuba..maka skrg aku rasa x patut aku layan dia gtu2 je..dan lg satu, dia asyik duk bg hint2 je..aku paham la hint dia tu..cuma buat2 x paham je..huhuu..
.
the problem is, org yg aku duk tnggu bg hint kt aku ni x mnunjukkan belang lg ni..pmalu sgt ke dia? atau sbnarnya nk kawan2 je ngn aku? tapi umur dia dh 30, dh tua pn klau stkt nk kwn gtu2 je..yg ni pn nmpk ksngguhan jgak..tp dr segi sms..FB mmg x pnah mncul pn..jarang sgt la dia nk update..klu sms tu hr2, tp biasa2 la..x nmpk hint pn lg..
.
adduuuuu..aku dalam dilemma~~ hahahaha bajet hot..gilo.
.
tapi skang bkn masa utk blengah2 lagi..umur dh 26, harus bertindak cepat..xpe, aku bg pluang dlu kt diorang2 ni mnunjukkan keikhlasan masing2..
.
ya Allah..tolong la aku.. 

Please help me, Allah..

Ya Allah..
Please help me..After a long way, please, let it happen..
If this is right for me, please help me to go through it..
.
Oh Allah..please..

Another one?

Oh Allah, pls help me..
.
Another confession has been said to me..and yet, i don't know how to react, and which path should i choose..
.
Right now, i have three choices which i have to pick only one and should not be regretted later.
Each of them has a reason for me to choose..
.
aaaaaaaaaaa eottoke????
.
I don't want to hurt them..don't want to give them hope as well..i myself don't know my heart well, whether i can be loyal or not..who knows my heart will change someday? seriously, i'm caught in the middle..
.
is this a sign? a few days ago, i was having a dream. I got engaged to someone. I don't know who am i engaged to, but in that dream i was waiting for his family to come. Some of my friends were there, celebrating me on my engagement day..
.
the next day, the dream came again. but it was slightly different..i was preparing lunch for the family, waiting for their visit. perhaps it was 'merisik' ceremony.
.
and tonight, here i am..still in a surprised state..huhuu..
.
how am i going to make a right decision??
.
ya Allah..i need your help..

Smile :)

Smile.. Don't always be sad..

It's going to be alright, don't cry anymore..

The song that I'm singing now,

I hope can comfort you a little..

Smile.. Don't just feel pain..

It's alright, even if the entire world

sends hardships your way..

As time passes, you will understand everything..

Smile..Look, am I not by your side?

I love you..can you hear my heart?

No matter what others say,

aren't we together?

Smile..Look right into my eyes..

I love you..This heart that loves you

won't ever change..

Just lean on my shoulder..

Just take a break..

Smile..

I, who believes in you

will always be here by your side..

~ Heartstrings, Episode 12~

*wish I could have a man like him, always be there when I need him..*

Buat Si Dia..Ku Harap Kau Mengerti..

Dia. Siapakah dia? Elok rupanya, elok tuturnya,pokok kata, eloklah..namun, mungkin kami tak akan pernah dijodohkan bersama. Terlalu banyak perkara yang perlu dipertimbangkan sebelum meneruskan sesebuah ikatan. Keluargaku, restu ibu bapaku, itu semua perlu diambil kira. Kutahu dia sedih..namun, mengertilah..mungkin aku bukan ditakdirkn utkmu..

Ku mohon maaf seandainya diri ini telah memusnahkan harapanmu..namun itu bukan bermakna aku adalah seorang player. Tidak sama sekali. Mana mungkin aku dicop sebagai player, sedangkan akulah yg sentiasa mnjadi mangsa..mungkin mereka yg melihat dan memandang dr jauh, menganggap diri ini player..tapi apa boleh buat..mulut orang, tak boleh kita tutup..ku biarkan saja..aku berkawan dengan semua, tidak kuduga ada yg salah mentafsir hubungan ku dengan kwn2..

Dia..aku mmg sayangkan dia, kerana dia adalah salah seorang sahabatku yang setia ketika ku memerlukan. Progres kita terlalu pantas, sehingga aku terpinga2 dan tidak sedar apa yg berlaku. Sehingga suatu ketika, ku tersedar bahawa masih terlalu banyak yg perlu dipertimbangkan..lalu ku mula mnjarakkan diriku daripada si dia..bukanlah kerana aku tak sudi..tapi kerana hati ini masih belum terbuka untuk menerima..

Walau apa pun yang berlaku, ku harap si dia tabah dan tidak ralat untuk bersahabat denganku..aku bersahabat dengan sesiapa sahaja yang sudi, selagi sahabat itu tidak melakukan apa yg kubenci..tak ku sangka diri ini telah melukakan hatinya..Sekali lagi, ku mohon maaf..

Moga si dia terus melangkah maju ke hadapan..dan semoga menemui cinta yang benar2 sejati untuk dirinya..cintailah orang yang mencintai dirimu..amin..