everyday christmas

Since her birthday is also on Christmas Day, it feels like every day is also her birthday the whole month of December. Yey!

dear ma

Just a few words: Christmas Day is always exceptional because of you, and what I want for Christmas is to have more Christmas Days with you—stronger, healthier, happier—so we could travel together more to places you have not traveled to in your prime.

Happy birthday, Ma, and I love you.

merry christmas!

May your Christmas Day bloom with so much joy and blessings, and your loved ones blossom into more beautiful, compassionate souls. That’s my yuletide wish for you.

new poem for the holidays in the sunday times magazine

Happy holidays, my loves! My poem “The Walk Toward Home on a Holiday Season” is published today in The Sunday Times Magazine (22 December 2019), the magazine supplement of The Manila Times newspaper. This will be my Christmas treat for you!

You can buy the paper at your nearest newsstands and bookstores. Here is a link to the poem in case you can’t get a physical copy.

happy birthday, mother dear

Yesterday, December 25, may just be another day to be merry with complete abandon for some, but in this household the 25th of the 12th month of the year means something more. Probably even more than any other celebrations out there.

Because December 25 is also the birthday of my mother, the person who I always wish to become but staggeringly fail. But despite these drawbacks, both big and small, she accepts them, rises above them with grace and generosity. That is why it is easy never not to love her.

Happy birthday, Ma! And Merry Christmas!

happy holidays!

It is now the eve of a day when many people find joy and conjure the most simple of reasons to celebrate the smallest of things—life and warmth, food and shelter, luck and laughter, good decisions, company of friends and family.

So for this particular Christmas, I will make it simple as well: I wish we can have it all throughout the year and in the next, and I wish we will experience these with people who love us, respect us, and who truly matter to us.

From our family to yours, happy holidays!

season's greetings!

The most common consensus as everyone inches closer to January 1 is that each year is just a series of extreme ups and downs, and that we will eventually feel better as we hurdle onto another year. Or so we thought. Nothing has prepared anyone for the avalanche that is 2017.

2017 is a year that could easily be summed up as difficult. From wrath of nature and its consequences, local and world leaders who make highly questionable and sometimes laughable decisions to unending wars, existential traumas, and personal tragedies, this has been a year that challenges us the more we try to get away from its clutches.

Although no amount of celebration could remedy the devastation in all its hideous forms that many have endured, I guess we are all lucky enough that we manage (and perhaps conditioned) to insert a cheerful vibe every December. Being joyous on the twelfth month is not for everyone, but for those who do, cheers mate!

Let’s take for example Christmas Day on December 25. As we know, it is not only a chance to open gifts and swap stories with family and friends. And for us, this always rings a notch truer than ever, in each year, because the month of December alone ushers us to the birthday of our mother—the rarest living Wonder Woman I personally know.

That is why moments or instances such as this allow us a momentary respite, a reason to celebrate. Yes, it may not be easy these days to insist that we “cheer up”, but at least we could try. We always try. So from my family to yours, Happy Christmas and have a delightful and prosperous New Year!

And remember, before we turn to another page in our lives, give thanks to those that make you matter, make your days a little bit lighter, a little more colorful. Do not fail them. That is why I am sending out my gratitude to those who keep up with my countless attempts at trying. Sometimes, the finer things in life do not require money. In these distracting times, what we might really need, more than ever, is appreciation.

happy holidays!

It’s that familiar time of the year. Only this time, I am in very unfamiliar place. Thankfully, familiar people surround me in this season of cheers and gratitude.

Greetings from TGB

From Team Carnice in TGB and AKL to yours, along with your relatives and friends, may you have a happy, colorful, Christmas every day of the year. Being joyful and grateful for the blessings and challenges overcome are just a few of the many great gifts you can give to your loved ones all year round (and perhaps also to one’s self).

With the most beautiful birthday girl this Christmas

On top of that, I’d like to add a shout-out to my mother who is celebrating her birthday on this special holiday. Christmas is never complete without her radiating light of love and beauty from inside and out. I wish I could be witness to more of her smiles and various acts of kindness in the coming years. My love for her is as profound as the birthing of a universe.

Greetings from AKL

Once again, happy holidays! Many grand things exist in this world to (ful)fill this lifetime, and one of them is to be reminded of what’s good, honest, and precious in this world. Have a great day.

changes this christmas

I’m on Day 17 in this foreign land, with 1 day or 24 hours left before Christmas (which also happens to be my mother's birthday), and just 7 days before I welcome another year in this lifetime. It is a privilege to be here, to be in new light (the sun springs out of the shadows at five in the morning and hides back in darkness only at nine in the evening), to be thousands of kilometers away from a country that does not seem to run out of emotional upheavals, political grievances, personal (ir)responsibilities.

It is, at the same time, bittersweet to be away from my family, relatives, the usual culprits who I’ve spent many holiday seasons with in the past. Never have I been so faraway that my skin tingles at the thought of ice-cold winds in a sunny summer alone. It is like living in Baguio or Tagaytay—only taken several notches higher.

But “change” is the word that is incessantly heard all throughout this year. Like a bell that never stops tolling, it demands to be noticed. It insists to be as relevant as ever that it now verges on a kind of desire or an ideal that seems so close to our reaches but always slips out of our hands. Perhaps this time it didn’t slip, perhaps this is the change that the universe has afforded me.

It is not without hesitation though, this change of scenery. Coming here brings a baggage that is not easy to carry, both figuratively and literally. When you live in the now, there is no denying that the past is close to the present, that yesterday is just a stone’s throw away to the next day. Hence, despite the overwhelming expanse of this country, one would never know when the ugly head of the unexpected goes peeking out of a corner.

Nevertheless, the past few days have been kind, have been brimming with beautiful possibilities. Fluctuating temperatures, jet lag, and change of time zones be damned! Some people have asked me, a genuine worry in their voice, if the place is too quiet for me. I gladly respond it is what I need: Peace from all the noise of this world. From Hamilton to Matakana, from Mission Bay to Royal Oak, from Matamata to Onehunga, from Tauranga to Ngatea, from Western Springs to Rotorua, from Queen Street to Bay of Plenty, so far so good. I have the say the travels are eventful. There’s more to come, and the season’s cheers and excitement are already feeling like close to home. Christmas is here to stay, in our hearts, and I will enjoy the holidays no matter where my feet take me to.

Happy Christmas, everyone!

happy christmas, folks!

happy holidays

under the light of this year

The 2000’s is quite an interesting decade for me.

Imagine, in a span of ten years, you graduated in high school, felt the diversity of emotional pangs in college, fortunately graduating just in time even with the excess baggage, and plunged into the country’s workforce of which everything you had learned in the previous years were but a small fraction of the demands that was in store for you. Surprise, surprise.

Yes, I had my fair share of disappointments but it was pointless dwelling in them. Because nevertheless, as what a new acquaintance told me a few days ago, it is also a decade of achievements (I can’t enumerate those between 2000 and 2009 so I will settle with those in the latter part).

“Just small achievements,” I corrected her.
“They’re still achievements,” she corrected me back. I blushed.

Looking back, I cannot help but swell with pride even in that oftentimes shaky year that is 2010: there’s the fact that I endured one corporate year that I previously thought was very unlikely; the unforgettable trips to Camarines Sur, Bacolod, Dumaguete, Davao, and even to the undiscovered nooks and crannies of Bohol; the fiction fellowship in the 10th IYAS Creative Writing Workshop; the publication of short stories, poems, and opinion articles in Philippines Free Press, Philippines Graphic, Philippine Daily Inquirer, The Weekly Sillimanian (I just can’t leave this college paper) and Paper Monster Press, all of which I believe was a long shot; and the wish fulfillment of not getting a journal/diary for every Christmas party exchanging gift session I attended.

It was joyful, indeed.

Amidst all these celebrations, I faced the last page of a calendar and felt something drop inside of me: out of the seven siblings, only four including myself will be with my parents during the December gatherings. Christmas Eve (of which the 25th is my mother’s birthday), New Year’s Eve, and many more were almost always celebrated as a whole. But last month, two of my brothers and a sister, because of necessity, were out of the country, absent in countless photographs.

Before I could even focus my eyes on the void, waiting for clouds to grey and release a heavy downpour on me, synching to the tune of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, I thought everything will be just fine. And it did.

Distances test the strength of the ties that bind us.

I guess this is how nature works. No matter how far each other are, persistence and endurance will fill any gap. Like the sea turtles, it is strange but marvelous that when their eggs hatch in some distant shore, the little ones brave the currents and get back to their kin in the depths of the ocean. The sense of home is palpable.

Whether this new decade brings in more achievements or none at all, whether in forthcoming gatherings the family is complete or not, I just have to let the stars align and let them run in their own courses.

Yes, it is still too early to tell that everything will be just fine but whatever each morning brings, I will always try to meet its light and feel warmer, contented than the last.

hoppy yuletide season

There’s nothing else to say especially in these times but a truly believable “happy” Christmas to all. Being happy is relative and if this is not enough, it is already up to him or her to at least appreciate the momentary break. Once again, happy Christmas to all of you bullfrogs!

And by the way, today is my mother’s birthday.

gifted

Because my gifts were somehow “still adequate” when put side by side to my nephews’ and nieces’, I enjoyed the night until twelve o’clock strike. While doing so, I sat under the Christmas tree and got myself surrounded with presents from everybody else’s just to internalize the feeling that I am, you know, gifted. Ishamyl!

P.S. The 25th is also my mother's birthday.
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crisis

Yesterday I decorated our garden with three sets of Christmas lights and when night time came I didn’t bother turning them on for me to see the beauty of my handiwork. But just minutes ago I remembered and, with my mother, initiated the presentation of the grand design. I was delighted with what I saw and thought of having them on for the rest of the night but my mother blurted: “Inig December 20 ra ta mag-lights para walay manaygon nato karon.” She went back inside the house and shrugged off with a smile.

In English, this is what she said: “Let’s just light them up on December 20 so no carolers would approach us today.” Well, a peso has its worth you know considering the water bill that I saw just this morning.
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great

hoppy

bullfrogish

christmas, people...
...and happy birthday to my beloved

mother!

(keep on hopping!)

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post-modernist christmas carol

Just a shocking image for the Yuletide Season.

I wonder what would happen to you if these two people show up and present such beautiful award-winning acts in front of you.

I tell you, this is not your conventional Christmas Carol. At the least, the good thing here is, you will be able to get free -for the mean time- from those carolers' annoying voices (or screeches?). Just be sure these beings won't attack you after their performance.

Good luck.

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the birthday and the holiday

Surely, the easiest way to go ballistic for the night is to steer away from the norm; get out of the ordinary box and do stuff that no one seems to care.

And that we did that last night.

We ignited firecrackers that nearly went whirring to our neighbors’ houses, did the family tradition of “take-a-picture-of-me-doing-this”, exchanged gifts when all of the giftees were nowhere in sight having their own Christmas world out there, and drank and ate and chatted and vice versa until morning came (of which I excluded myself), to meet the 25th day of December when both hour and minute hand of the clock pointed to twelve.

Of course, it is Christmas! And not just any Christmas, it is also at the same time my mother’s day of birth! Christmas? Birthday? Mixed that and the family gathers around then the next thing you will know, the powerhouse of our home is at its peak, reaching to the highest notch.

I need to treasure this moment because one thing is, this is only the time when everyone, my mother and father(2), all seven of us brothers and sisters(7) plus their supporting partners(4), and finally with their children which are my nephews and nieces(11) would supposedly gather!

And this goes to the total whopping number of—drum roll please— twenty-three! And inside one house good for ten human beings and four stray cats?

But we never have celebrated the event completely; there are always some absences. Yet, the spirit of giving, contentment, and (this may not sound like me) love, are at all times present.

One word: thanks.

Happy Christmas everyone and Merry Birthday Mama.

sorry, not complete

click here for more pictures.
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eating christmas

The gift is wrapped in course paper,
in the color of overheated cinders.
Entwined with a red ribbon,
I opened it and I saw you.
Forcedly closing the lid down,
you escaped with so much ease.

There was nothing I can do,
so I let you.

You went to our dining room
and gluttony encounters our fruitcake and roast turkey.
You ate the crystals, spoons, and forks.

You grinned at every guest
and shredded the letters they brought.
You ate the envelopes.

You played with the children
and tricked them in every game.
You ate all the prizes.

You outran us outside when midnight came
and burned the variety of firecrackers we had.
You ate the falling ashes.

You hunched under the table
and ripped our presents open.
You ate the wrappers.

You shook our well-decorated tree
and broke all the lights.
You ate the glass balls.

You finally approached our house’s highlight
and threw the littlest figure away.
You ate the rest of the nativity scene.

Since there was nothing I can do,
I swallowed our mistletoe
then took a poinsettia for your casket.
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going white before christmas

Definitely the common theme for this season is to go white. Through the years, this clean and perpetual motif changed; now there’s red, green, blue, and I even witnessed a violet version. Yet, when I got back here in my hometown my eyes witnessed a blast of holy whiteness all over the house! It seems that we go back to the basics (we had blue last Christmas). The curtains, the table covers, the artificial flowers, and many more went all pallid.

Honestly, the color white is indeed elegant. Just like our aged ancestral piano’s flat keys.

And to add to our list, two new items unexpectedly came into our midst. Yeah, they came. Believe me.

First came this minute creature -and of course white- about half the size of my thumb. Well, considering that this thumb of mine is not normal as what it should be, as other people had stated.

A little rodent appeared before my eyes; thanks to my nephew who brought it close to my face showing it off while I was intently watching a video. Actually, it was all of my nephew’s juvenile acts bringing along with him this creature from school. (I wonder where he got it).

Nope. I did not shriek. I just loved watching it. The thing comfortably slept in my wrinkled shirt when I placed it near my belly. Now that’s what you call confidence.

It played around the living room (got a hard time shooing away our keen trusty cats, remember Cloudy?), had its first pictorials, fed it up with food, and left it in his new home made more comfortable after my brother decided of placing it inside a wide-rimmed flower vase.

Here it is:





Another pearly whitey is (drumroll please, after two dull years of longing for it) our high school yearbook. Don’t get squirmy here but yes, this is the week that I had finally laid my hands on the book.

I conceptualized it from the front cover to its back, I did the lay-outs, and all the necessary things to make it visually arresting, and this is the product:




Now you can truly say that we are not supposed to judge a book by its cover. And I have my affirmation to that.

I wrote the “About the Cover” for this Erudite yearbook:

Erudite.

One who is marked by deep extensive learning.
One who still stands after enduring all the necessities and tests.

Like the flame, it brightens the dark corners of a room,
giving light to those who needed it and surpassing
the depressing blankness—though the flame stands alone.

With this flame that symbolically keeps burning in the spirit of a [GCS] student,
one manages to find the right way along its brilliant guidance,
trekking with uncertain danger and confronting all fears till the end,
to be distinguished as a deserving Erudite.

With this passion that we shall call the Blue Flame.

B L F R G

I personally love it even though the writing is high schoolish (pardon and allow me to use such word) and dumb, set aside that it is white, until I took a peek of its insides. It’s a failure.

Mistakes are all over!

Pictures mismatched, nicknames exchanged, pictures so scarce, and my valuable class prophecy lost its last paragraph! What in the h…What the f...

I don’t know what to say. It has been published and I have nothing to do—unless I go chasing those people who got the book and grab it then burn it at the same time project a loud hollow deep laughter (bwahaha!).

And for approximately two years in the making, the outcome is just a mediocre. Let us call this a lampoon issue.

It just turned out that white is not at all elegant for me this month.

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